elderly golfer blasts Ukraine for invading itself
is Donny demented, or evil? trick question, it’s both
at 3:40am on February 24, 2022, Russian infantry and assault vehicles crossed the Ukrainian border at Luhansk Oblast and headed towards Kyiv.
sending soldiers and tanks across a border is a maneuver that military strategists classify as the start of a fucking war.
hold that thought in your head, because Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants is about to give you the most screwed up history lesson ever.
“I think I have the power to end this war, and I think it’s going very well. but today I heard ‘oh, well we weren’t invited.’ well [Ukraine has] been there for three years. [Ukraine] should have ended it three years ago. [Ukraine] should have never started it. [Ukraine] could have made a deal.”
what kind of “stop hitting yourself” horseshit is this?
facts, how do they work?
Donny is a demented dipshit who apparently believes that Revolutionary War soldiers bravely defended the colonists’ airports.
so can we really blame him for getting a simple fact wrong about the Ukraine War, such as who invaded who?
yes we can, because is there any doubt at this point that Donny is a Russian asset? he’s incessantly mouthing whatever Ukraine talking points Putin has fed him.
“Ukraine brought this all on itself by [insert lie here].”
Donny thinks Zelenskyy should have negotiated his way out of being invaded. yeah, right.
what the fuck would that have looked like?
Putin invaded Ukraine because he thought it would be a cakewalk. his military advisors fed him a line of pure, uncut bullshit about how Russia could topple Kyiv in only three days. once Vlad heard that, there was no stopping him. Putin was hell-bent on taking over Ukraine and installing a pro-Russia puppet government, with the ultimate goal of incorporating Ukraine back into a Greater Russian Empire.
how the fuck was Zelenskyy supposed to negotiate his way out of that? there was no deal to be had, aside from… well, I’m going to let Lucian K. Truscott IV finish the thought, because I could not have put it any better.
“What deal could Zelenskyy have made, you Putin-toe-sucking baboon? I surrender? Please come on in and take our country and do whatever the fuck you want with it?”
oh, and speaking of negotiating: a “negotiating session” took place yesterday in Saudi Arabia, with the alleged goal of ending the war in Ukraine. present was Secretary of State Marco Rubio, and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov. do you know who wasn’t there? anyone from Ukraine.
now I can hear you asking, Uncle Jeff, since when is this how negotiating works, where one side in the conflict isn’t even allowed to attend? doesn’t Ukraine deserve a voice in determining its own future?
the answer is this: Ukraine doesn’t get a seat at the table because fuck you, that’s why. that’s not how this is going to work. what’s going to happen is that Putin and Donny are going to cook up their own deal, and present it to Zelenskyy to sign — and it’s very much going to look like Lucian Truscott’s ‘I, Vlodymyr Zelenskyy surrender. please come on in and take our country and do whatever the fuck you want with it’ scenario.
and then, Donny and Vladdy are going to divvy up the spoils between themselves — because, as always with Donny, it’s what in it for me?
apparently, Donny’s already been demanding that Ukraine ‘pay him back’ for all the aid they received from the Biden administration.
Donald Trump’s demand for a $500 billion “payback” from Ukraine goes far beyond US control over the country’s critical minerals. It covers everything from ports and infrastructure to oil and gas, and the larger resource base of the country.
The terms of the contract that landed at Volodymyr Zelensky’s office a week ago amount to the US economic colonization of Ukraine, in legal perpetuity. It implies a burden of reparations that cannot possibly be achieved. The document has caused consternation and panic in Kyiv.
‘pay me back’ has never been how US foreign aid works. preserving democracy abroad is money well spent, and pays for itself in so many ways.
it’s like the Marshall Plan we did after World War Two. all that money we laid out rebuilding Germany’s infrastructure — and creating a democratic government there — paid for itself in that we never had to, y’know, fight another world war against Nazism.
oh wait, bad example. the official US line is now Nazis in Germany are good.
but you can’t explain any of that to Donny. he’s a transactional simpleton with a toddler’s understand of the world. he can’t think beyond I gave you money, now you have to give it back. it’s not fair!
so it’s not so much an end to a war as is it an extraction of resources.
The US will take 50 percent of recurring revenues received by Ukraine from extraction of resources, and 50 percent of the financial value of “all new licenses issued to third parties” for the future monetization of resources. There will be “a lien on such revenues” in favor of the US. “That clause means ‘pay us first, and then feed your children’,” said one source close to the negotiations.
fuck you, pay me.
Donny’s going to do to Ukraine what the mob does when it takes over a restaurant: steal everything that’s not nailed down, run up the bills, and then, when there’s nothing left to wring out of the joint, put a match to the place.
if Ukraine doesn’t like it, well, maybe they’ll think twice the next time they get the bright idea to invade themselves.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
sorry, Angry Jeff shoved Funny Jeff in the locker and wrote this one all by himself
I've not seen Donny's Ukraine extortion scheme written about anywhere but in the UK Independent piece I quote in my post