280 Comments

It sounds like Habba got her law degree at the trump university.

Expand full comment

From the dumpster, at that.

Expand full comment

Yep, then there’s this:

Carroll’s attorney: “Let’s show this.”

Habba: “Objection!”

Judge Kaplan: “Ground?”

Habba: “It’s prejudicial”

Judge Kaplan: “All evidence is prejudicial against the party it is offered against.”

Expand full comment

Hahaha

Oh to pass the bar and to be left holding the bag ( dirty diaper?) as the last Trump lawyer standing,what an assclown! And even other lawyer is laughing his ass off here. This will live in law schools forever. What an achievement.

Expand full comment

Christ on a cracker...can you imagine? There's a whole law school seminar just on your fuckups before you went from a lawyer to a waitress at Cracker Barrel. 🙄

Expand full comment

The LEGAL AF podcasters are thinking of doing a separate podcast just of Habba's mistakes and incompetence.

Expand full comment

That oughta be a must listen 😎

Expand full comment

Go figure

Expand full comment

Your comment made my day. Just how much does this "lawyer" want to be in the spotlight and yet know, she is completely incompetent. Not every lawyer is a litigator - that's why there was one, Tacapino/tacopenis...until there wasn't one. But to not KNOW the process of a Federal Court. Did she have a concussion after passing the bar? Just too unreal to be real.

Expand full comment

Oh, dear. Just laughed myself into a coughing fit on that one!

Expand full comment

And thank you Cassandra!

Expand full comment

WOW!

Expand full comment

Has to be a set up for an inadequate representation appeal ,draaaag itttt outtt!

Expand full comment

My thoughts as well.

And on a total ( can't sleep anyway...) different note!

Thank you for helping me find Jim Hightower! Again!

I didn't know he was on substack, but OMG good to know as I have always enjoyed his wit and writings!

Brings me back to a reset!

Expand full comment

At the park and garage

Expand full comment

Absolutely!!! LOL

Expand full comment

Almost. See my post above.

Expand full comment

This: “I don't like to be spoken to that way, your honor.” What a snowflake

And I think his behavior is not going to sit well with the jury. He’s actually proving Carroll’s point about harassment and such. He’s also getting way more leniency than anyone else would.

Expand full comment

He's been getting more leniency than he deserves for most of his damn life. Accountability has never been part of his limited vocabulary and he continues to play the poor pathetic victim for his never ending fund raising efforts. Hopefully the judge in Georgia will put a stop to his infantile bullshit antics that only give a rise to his very naive base.

Expand full comment

She doesn't "like to be spoken to that way" while sitting next to President Pussy Grabber. That's rich.

Expand full comment

Good point. How hard up are you that you have to take on a client who’s a bully and then pacify that bully by disrespecting a judge.

Expand full comment

"Will work for plastic surgery."

Expand full comment

Hahaha

Expand full comment

What a waste of a law degree and Bar exam. But someone has to be the bottom of the rotten barrel.

Expand full comment

Just goes to prove how low the bar is for pumping out lawyers these days. She's a poster-child.

Expand full comment

There are good reasons for going to law school but Habba is not one of them.

Expand full comment

For a tag line, I personally way prefer "Yours in service". Maybe she should switch to that one....

Expand full comment

Ah, no...unless perhaps you meant that "service " provided on her knees. THAT I would believe!

Probably how she got through Law school.

Expand full comment

I'm really confused as to why someone who has the opportunity of a lifetime to represent someone of such significance, would dress in court like a cheap "date"? Puckered botox lips, ridiculously low plunging neckline, Versace-esque dresses, hooker heels, and drag-queen inspired make-up. She's a total caricature, and clearly doesn't realize it, because well... she's stupid.

Expand full comment

Well, there's that.

Truly what is she doing there? Either the longest application for a job at FOX or looking for a sugar daddy. It does not have any meaning like, wow what a brilliant legal mind.

Expand full comment

I'm sure shes got her claws out for Melanoma, now that she's just an aging old porn star whom I'm sure tRump is done with by now. Out with the old, in with the new.

Expand full comment

But that would be flattering to her!

Expand full comment

Exactly!

Expand full comment

I am no psychiatrist, but I've watched some on the YouTubes, and it is my faux-professional opinion that he is either a psychopath or (more likely) a sociopath.

I have known one psychopath in my life, and he too always got away with everything. People were always afraid to confront him because, well...he was a psycho. Until he died sad and alone, which I also predict for lil' donny

Expand full comment

He’s also a narcissist.

Expand full comment

He’s the prototype, a narcissist’s narcissist. The dictionary needs to present definition 1. and then just show his picture, and everyone will understand what the word means.

Expand full comment

#INFINITEREGRESSION

Expand full comment

Technically speaking, psychopath is modern terminology for sociopath. Without Conscience by Robert Hare is a highly entertaining examination if the phenomenon.

Expand full comment

Trump is not just a psychopath: he's a criminal psycopath.

Expand full comment

I’m pretty sure that the current way to describe his condition is MALIGNANT NARCISSISM

Expand full comment

Maybe the dark triad. 😳😡👹

Expand full comment

Well, he shouldn't count on Melania being by his bedside, that's for sure. She'll be too busy examining the will.

Expand full comment

Or looking for her next sugar daddy...

Another grifter that should have stayed in Europe.

And, sadly my ethnicity, too. Maybe that is why I have zero sympathy.

Expand full comment

Well there is that little book with actual psychiatrists...The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump. I know, so 2016!

Expand full comment

What I wonder is why have we not seen the psychiatry/psychologist community come out and identify him for what he is? What's holding them back? What are they afraid of? Clearly he's deranged and an aberration. The only question is the specifics.

Expand full comment

It's New York. He already lost the first one and they do. not. like. him. in. New. York. because apparently they still have the capacity to think there.

Expand full comment

OMG, we can depend on Ms Hughes! Exactly!

Expand full comment

Have I told you that I love you yet? LOL.

Expand full comment

And, Love NYC

Expand full comment

Ditto!

Expand full comment

I’m thinking the marks on his hand may be a failed attempt to apply some sort of stigmata-like wounds, because, you know #TrumpisJesus #TheGriftisforeever

Expand full comment

Nice guess! Since lil' donny wouldn't have any idea what an actual stigmata is supposed to look like, this make total sense. with a red magic marker.

Expand full comment

I think he was just picking his nose.

Expand full comment
Jan 18·edited Jan 18

Lucy, it may be that he grabbed the wrong pussy. Maybe it was that of Ms. Habba, Habba, Habba and his hand contracted an infection. OK, ewwwwwww. Sorry, I had to express my crude thought. I'll try to clean it up and do better.

Expand full comment

Meanwhile, back at the STD clinic, " wow, that is some drug resistant syphilis..."

Expand full comment

ROTFLMAO! Wouldn't it be great to have cameras in the private boardrooms where these two "converse" about the trial?

"Yeah Alina.... I'm loving those soft, overly-pumped up, fake lips of yours. Wrap it around this and I'll make you famous."

Expand full comment

Lucy--hahahahahaha. That's exactly what I thought!

Expand full comment

He was just playing with red Sharpies, which he grabbed from a Mar A Lago bathroom where he keeps an Advanced Meteorology Supplies box from his defunct tRump University.

Expand full comment

Totally. Will enthrall the Believers that he is now sporting Marks of the Cross or something akin to that. Definitely stigmata.... second thought: chafe marks from trying to find his own genitals

Expand full comment

Maybe Mike Johnson suggested that ...

Expand full comment

Good bet Mikey Moses has a speed dial to Jesus! First Hand 🖐️ info on getting nailed ! Ohhh , my heart ♥️

Expand full comment

okay I truly can't stop laughing hahahah

Expand full comment

omg your right! both tiny hands will be bleeding soon!

Expand full comment

Bravo J.R. . Well done!

Expand full comment

It’s difficult to tell from the pix I’ve seen, but I was wondering whether it’s red marker he either got all over himself while making notes on classified docs or altering weather maps or intentionally marked himself with so we’d all talk about him.

Expand full comment

Ahahaha hahaha 🍻

Expand full comment

I am CONVINCED that Habba is pretending she's more incompetent than she is for the appeal or even a dismissal of the case. My story goes like this; Tacopenis and his gang faked quitting hoping Kaplan would postpone the trial, nope the judge saw straight through that bullshit. They, trump and the Tacopenis team, knew Habba would have no problem acting like an idiot for her lord and master trump and so what's left of his team could say he had inadequate and incompetent representation. This is why his only other lawyer left on the Carroll case tried to quit yesterday and nope again, the judge wasn't having it. I would bet 5oo bucks trump thought up this ridiculous scenario on his own like he was writing a really bad TV script. I hate these fucking people.

Expand full comment

That’s pretty good Lorraine. That seems obvious to me now that you explain it that way. Did Kaplan help Habba by giving her instructions in order to protect the integrity of the trial?

Expand full comment

Good question Susan, maybe a lawyer out there will answer it.

Expand full comment

Perhaps protecting against appeal? That is what I look for per Trump and his endless BS.

Expand full comment

That makes sense. BS, if it wasn’t for BS he’d melt like the witch of the west.

Expand full comment

Hahaha

Expand full comment

Any delays are welcomed by Fatboy ,I agree it’s a put up job ,anone with a law degree couldn’t be that inept,inadequate representation is an appeal issue for sure ,no bet I’d like to keep my money!

Expand full comment

I like the way you cuss.

Expand full comment

Me too and I don’t give a fuck who it fucking offends! 😂

Expand full comment

But does this move not actually hurt the future of the Tacopenis law firm? Who will hire a firm that bailed at the 11th hour? Did Taco calculate that the likely non payment along with associating further with PAB would be more damaging to the firms reputation at this point? Just a thought.

Expand full comment

What serious self-respecting client would hire a firm that even sat in a room with trump? That horse has left the stable. You know leaving trump at any point might redeem their reputation, and maybe even actually help it.

Expand full comment

Everything trump touches, dies.

Expand full comment

He has had a hard time hiring the white shoe law firms for some time. Mainly because he can't control himself and blows up his own case. I think he pays some of these guys or at least a healthy retainer. Perhaps the meter ran out? Some how fitting leaving the" I got a law degree but I am no litigator" excuse. Lors of Law degrees out there but not so many real litigation lawyers, where the rubber meets the road.

Expand full comment

I suppose that's a possible scenario, although it seems too complicated for Donny's lizard brain to have thought it up.

Expand full comment

YepYep! I went there too.

Not all laid out in my head, as you have so perfectly wrote.

I like your take.

Trump told her, no worries, you do as I tell ya! 😉

Straight from that uss y's mouth, the same one he uses to suck i c k of u t i n.

I can't take it no more, I had to say that. Rotflmao.

Ugh!

Expand full comment

You mean suck Putin’s dick? 😂

Expand full comment

Ahahaha hahaha yes Lorraine 🤣

Did I tell you I liked you lately?

Your Bold and Funny 😁

Ahahaha hahaha 🫠

Expand full comment

You’re a hot shit kiddo!

Expand full comment

my four dogs think so.

Expand full comment

Dogs know. gee, i wonder why Trump never had a dog? Well, other than he lived in home that no dog would ever feel comfortable in and "Little " Donnie was a budding psychopath growing up. To the point he was sent to military school ( unlike folks with no $ might have seen similar children in detention "schools".)

Sure, other than ALL that and the tradition of the Whitehouse having dogs... of course Trump has no pets. What kind of dog would ever trust him? Just another " clue" for the devoted cult. If only they would ketchup, haha. Dogs KNOW.

Expand full comment

So I went to your page to follow you. What do I find out, you got it going on. Bravo, to all your accomplishments!

Expand full comment

Totally agree, but I also wonder if the way she spoke to the Judge was because she would incur the wrath of her client if she didn’t. She wouldn’t be the first person to play for an audience of one.

Expand full comment

This makes sense to me. They never want to play by the rules.

Expand full comment

Alina: "How do you suggest I proceed?" 🤣 Kaplan REALLY had to help her? Dear God! Joey Tacopants has to be breathless from laughing at that. I know I am. Maybe they should construct a glass enclosed, sound proof booth for DiaperDon so he can be seen and not heard. But, #SyphilisDon is the clear winner today. I cant believe this is real life. 🤦‍♀️

Expand full comment

You laugh. The court can actually do that as they do with many defendants. He can be confined to a room by himself with a live feed of the proceedings available to him. Alina, of course, would be in the courtroom making a fool of herself again. I’m still completely bumfuzzled over her having an actual diploma from an actual law school.

Expand full comment

Thats good to know...I wasn't aware. He should be removed into a location by himself. It makes sense. God, he's a nightmare. 🤦‍♀️

Expand full comment

Susan, I think a member of the prosecution should smuggle in a box of ketchup packets from Burger King and put them on the table in front of him. He could squeeze one every time he needs to. (Might account for the red on his fingers?)

Expand full comment

😂😂😂 I love that idea!

Expand full comment

Kaplan should have said ”try getting a law degree sweetheart “!

Expand full comment

Old Internist and former doc in AIDS, TB, and STD clinics: it is not consistent with Tertiary Syphilis - no external lesions with that. It shows up in the brain and his behavior is certainly consistent with it. Secondary Syphilis does have prominent rashes, including the hands but that is not the rash. I saw one decent blown up pic yesterday and there is a crater in that lesion at the last joint of the index finger. I like the frostbite theory. So, my diagnosis is too stupid to wear gloves.

Expand full comment

But it's so much fun to guess when we have no pesky medical facts! Don't be a spoilsport, Dr. Brady. Thanks for your educated opinion, though. Notice how many of us pay Jeff so we can share our own entitled opinions.

Expand full comment

hahahaha

Expand full comment

He couldn’t get small enough gloves!

Expand full comment

So,who double-dog-dared him to touch his clammy little hand to metal in frigid weather?

Expand full comment

Wish they had dared him to use his tongue. (aka The Christmas Story) Maybe that would keep him from talking 😏

Expand full comment

C’mon Doc it’s so much more fun to speculate,don’t ruin it with reality ! Dumpty doesn’t need no stinking reality!

Expand full comment

Oh, I believe he has tertiary Syphilis. It is only that that shows up mostly as megalomania and grandiosity as well as profound thought disorder. It can also show up as painless aneurisms in major arteries. There is hope, yet.

Expand full comment

C’mon Doc it’s so much more fun to speculate,don’t ruin it with reality ! Dumpty doesn’t need no stinking reality!

Expand full comment

"did he wait until the very last minute to quit because he knew it was a sure way to humiliate Habba"

This has such a ring of truth to it.

Expand full comment

I vote syphilis

On Habba: she's BAD. 1) I'm smelling sanctions. And perhaps contempt fines for her client, 2) Absolutely, you nailed it: get tossed and grift, 3) I think it's even money on setting up an Ineffective Assistance of Counsel claim for appeal because they have nothing else. Watch this space.

Expand full comment

Yes exactly. Delay delay delay delay

Expand full comment

More like "get out of paying."

Expand full comment

He's been beating off to his own news coverage every night.

Expand full comment

Yeah, he seems to enjoy his stupid little jack-off jerk dance a lil too much.

Expand full comment

Lol 😂

Expand full comment

The old decrepit pig hasn’t had a woody in years,poor Mrs,Trump,hubby ain’t got no pump!

Expand full comment

Stormy Daniels: it's a mushroom.

Expand full comment

I'm sure she'd be very happy with that!!!

Expand full comment

🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

With his little tiny hands, no less. Go figure!

Expand full comment

1. If a lawyer has to ask a judge how to lawyer, they are only cosplaying as a lawyer

2. It’s a ťough choice between syphillis and stupidity, both affect the brain with bad outcomes.

Expand full comment

I want to say the hand situation involves ketchup in some fashion. Interesting is the dual colouration. It's bright red on his hand, but darker on his finger and thumb.

Granted if he got syphilis from Habba-dabba-doo I wouldn't be surprised.

That "rather be pretty than smart" is going to be on her headstone, I hope she knows that.

I know after she gets disbarred from fucking this trial up, her prospective employers will be mocking her for that line.

Love a nerd, folks. Nerds are the only way we'll have a future, what with the climate crisis.

Expand full comment

She is neither pretty nor smart. Fail on both counts. She can start over by working the cashier booth at a gas station/convenience store

Expand full comment

At least that's HONEST work.

Expand full comment

How could I forget about the ketsaup? My bad.

Expand full comment

I'm a nurse and sorry to disappoint everyone, but those marks on his fingers/hands aren't Stage 2 syphilis. I've seen it before and it's a rash on the palms/soles of your hands or feet. This is something else - looks like skin lacerations from heat or frostbite.

Expand full comment

Fond hope.... so easily vanquished :(

Expand full comment

So sorry to bring you the bad news. Doesn't mean he couldn't have syphilis though. The 3rd stage is mental deterioration as the bacteria is in your brain now.

Expand full comment

As someone said on Twitter (and that someone was me!), the idea that Trump was close to his mother-in-law is comedy gold. He isn't even close to his wife.

Expand full comment

Hi Jeff, after reading the transcripts from yesterday’s festival of ignorance on the part of Habba Habba Yam Yam, I talked to a long time friend and attorney, I told him that he and I could have presented a better defense than the current graduate of the Trump University Law School of disbarment.. Those pouty duck lips from Yam Yam after being schooled by the Judge were a sight to behold, she doesn’t even know how to put evidence in the court record, thinks she can say anything without proof... “Denied, Denied, Denied now sit down and shut the fuck up” And you too Donnny. Donny really doesn’t give a shit...the verdict has already been rendered, we are just waiting for the jury to award more damages... Pro tip for Yam Yam that you should have learned in school.... when addressing a Judge it’s please and thank you, it’s standing when addressing a Judge... Yam Yam is merely another tool Donald uses to tear down established order...he’s done this all his life.... I urge the folks to read the transcript...SNL could not have done a better job. BTW.... Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt Yam Yam.... Good Times😳

Expand full comment

The description of syphilis on the CDC website describes Trump’s symptoms including dementia.

Just listen to Trump’s speech in New Hampshire.

Expand full comment

So I guess he did get a STD in the 1970's while most men his age were risking their life and limbs for their country over in Vietnam.

Expand full comment

I figure he contracted herpes since every New York bar queen has it. And he has pre neptuals that state a no public disclosure agreement least she lose on millions.

Expand full comment

In sh’Allah

Expand full comment

Habbadabbadoo is the clear favorite for worst lawyer in America. Interesting that Shitgibbon mentioned that he had more indictments than Al Capone. Untreated syphilis is what got Scarface.

Expand full comment