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I am hopeful that no one asks how, if Trump doesn't have any legs to stand on, he puts his clownshoes on. sometimes I write myself into these corners

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Humpty Trumpty already manages to walk around while completely braindead, so you can't expect the laws of physics to suddenly start caring about him now. That being said, left to his own devices he'd probably put the shoes on his ears anyhow.

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You literally made me laugh out loud!

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Good! I never have issues beclowning Drumpfs!

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Omg!! You crack me up!!!

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But he has a fat ass to sit on!

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We know Walty Nauto changes his diapers..

.so he probably ties his shoes for him too.

Meanwhile, back at the circus...I think someone is getting Nervous! Maybe he can brand some gold "Trump soap on a rope" or write another book?

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Trump's still trying to build his wall, only now it's with all those bricks he's shitting...

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😂

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Meh. He just uses a pair of specially made suspenders. :-)

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His antics have caused us to mix many a metaphor.

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The same way Mr. Potato Head puts his on.

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founding

As I read this, I heard the music from Mary Poppins: "Um diddle diddle, diddle um, diddle ay, super-fucking-guilty clownshoes insurrectionist dipshit, if you like the sounds of him, you really are a nitwit, Super-fucking-guilty clownshoes insurrectionist dipshit!"

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Brilliant!

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Now I have an earworm going.....😂

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founding

You’re welcome 🤪🤪

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I hope you’re right about the judge not putting up with trump’s very predictable tactics. The guy is clearly crazier than a pet coon. But we’re now entering an almost blow-by-blow repeat of everything that went on from 2016-2020. yet here he still is. It’s like waking up to Groundhog Day every damn day for six years.

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And man, it's getting sooo fucking old.

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In new territory now- the founders never could have been expected to anticipate a criminal like this to come along to run over every expectation of honesty and sincerity of purpose.

>We< sure didn't, and we're living here, 247 years later!

There can be a positive side to this, in that going forward it may be possible to incorporate safeguards incorporated into rules, laws, procedures, citing precedent and case law so that this kind of thing can never happen again.

If we can recover from the virus that is Drumph-ism. If.

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I agree, I hope we learn from this and fix the loopholes in the constitution, but what a fucking steep learning curve!!

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Part of the reason (I am thinking) is that we have been here all those years. Certainly we have had and probably always will have CORRUPTION. However, did it really ever affect us as personally as this person?? AND all of the traitors that sit behind him, or bow to him? We did, but that was Hitler(to name one) and he was not ours. When I think of the wars and those men and women who rolled up their sleeves and did what they had to do.. it breaks my heart. At the age I am now, having lost my parents and dad having fought WWII, in his later years he couldn’t even talk about it without tears. We took a trip to Germany, because he wanted to see some of the places they were. He stated that the foxhole was the very worst part of it.

Now, think about all the families and friends we know that had this same experience, then visit Henry Chapelle Cemetery where those there didn’t even live to tell us about it. It doesn’t stop at what I’ve just written. It also doesn’t make us feel any better.

Can we honestly let him walk? Really? He is only one person. But his way of governing is to take away what we have worked for or what we have struggled to work for and maybe still lost everything. Then our Government says NO you can’t do that anymore we are going to stop giving you food, help.... you get it...

Thanks for letting me vent. God Bless America and God help us get through this. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🙏🏻

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I hope Judge Chutkan's findings will distill down to something ending with "...and the horse he rode in on!"

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Allow me to explain the rationale behind Trump thinking a Protective Order violates his 1st Amendment rights to free speech.

Trump knows no other campaign strategy other than to bash and bully his opponents and any perceived threat or opposition. Some of these individuals are potential witnesses who are providing evidence to Trump’s crimes, therefore exposing him as a criminal, thus interfering with his right to lie and keep his criminal activities from becoming public knowledge.

Ergo, Election Interference!

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👏👏👏 love this!!! Lmao

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I would likewise say that the “free speech”/“election interference” defense rings hollow when their client’s criminal behavior is on display for the world to see. We know he’s a one-stop crime shop. This is just a toothless claim ginned up to distract everyone from the truth of what he is. And that certainly isn’t “innocent.”

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Around and around he goes, where it stops no caone knows

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Nr. 6.

Appeal to the bought-and-paid for majority of right-wing whack jobs on the Supreme Court who might pause their Ayn Rand clusterfuck and "do the right thing" for their king.

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No, I am convinced they, except a few, also hate his fucking guts too. Look at how many times they have ruled against him.

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They know a dictatorship has no use for a Supreme Court. They won’t let him put them out of a job.

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Self-interest, perhaps the last saving grace. Makes a good deal of pragmatic sense.

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This dude couldn't even pay legal fees if not for his crowdfund cult. We really can't expect a good legal battle out of him. All he can do is his "all for you" theatrics.

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Yep. Absolutely right.

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Considering the thinly veiled ideology of racism, hate and violence with which he won the first time, I wouldn't be too confident that a poorly conducted legal battle will matter at all to his cult.

Trumpers have been convinced that anything negative about their new 'god' has to be "fake". Fighting with a defiant attitude are the qualities that count with them, regardless of facts of which they are not even aware.

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I liked society better when facts mattered.

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Not meaning to be Dickensian, but I’ll just write what I thought after reading, fuck them. Everyone.

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What about the stable genius defense?

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More like the contents of said stable's floor, after the occupants have partaken of their oats.

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The party of hay after the horse is done with it.

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Excellent column Jeff. Now thinking about a flurry of legal halloween activity for pumpkin head and his soon to be likely disbarred and unpaid team of asshats.

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unfortunately for Trump’s lawyers, their client is a super-fucking-guilty clownshoes insurrectionist dipshit who doesn’t have one legal leg to stand on.

Poetry to my ears!

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It was excruciating watching Lauro on ALL the Sunday political shows pushing this. This guy is the worst attorney i've seen in a long, long time and does he not realize, since his advice will never be taken, nor probably should be, that after Trump sucks all the juice out of him, he'll throw the expended rind onto the trash heap of forgotten tools?

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Of course!

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If past is prologue, those lawyers either: a) won’t get paid for their nonsensical arguments, and b) might even get fined for lying to the court.

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and C, become witnesses against their insane client.

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I’d like to see more disbarments, as a start.

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How about both? I bet there's room.

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These laughable arguments, as Jennifer Rubin writes today, are not for the courtroom. They're for the voters that can be persuaded to vote for Trump a third time.

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Yeah...no... pumpkin head...

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I just love this column and all of you in this community. I’ve never laughed so hard! It gives me hope!

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author

oh my god, I can't believe I've been blessed with such awesome commenters. you people all rule

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We love it that you say the things we’re thinking. Also you’re just so damned funny!

It feels good to laugh when all of this legal slog is so tiring. Keep writing.

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Another reason we love your newsletter Jeff, is because we can say any goddamn, mother fucking thing we goddamn fucking want to.

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That's my favorite reason for loving this newsletter. We laugh, we cry, and we cuss together!

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God damn right!!

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