271 Comments

Elise Streptococcus will not be VP but I have to wonder if she would let Chump grab her by her whatever in order to attain that spot.

Expand full comment

Yes.

Expand full comment

And she would film it for a trump campaign ad

Expand full comment

She'd do an OnlyFans page with him haha.

Expand full comment

😂😂😂😂😂😂😹😹😹😹😹😹

Expand full comment

Alina Habba would if she hasn't already although she gets a whiff of that man every time he is within 2 feet of her--hummm could be why she purses her lips so much, lol.

Expand full comment

I assume it’s to push her lips up to block her nostrils? It’s less conspicuous than holding her nose.

😂

Expand full comment

It's all starting to make a bit more sense now, ROFL.

Expand full comment

Smelling his ass for so long has made elise streptocrackpot shit for brains lol

Expand full comment

OMG ahahahaha, I wonder if certain smells can decrease brain cells???

Expand full comment

Alicia I can't

Stop

LAUGHINGGGGGGG AAHHHHH!!!!!

Expand full comment

I think we already have the proof...the GOP party 😂😂😂💩💩💩💩

Expand full comment

Indeed, entire case studies need to be created on this phenomenon...

Expand full comment

🤣🤣

Expand full comment

Ohhh you made me truly laugh out loud 🤣 😂 ahahaha

Expand full comment

He'll yes she would! (Elise Streptococcus! 🤣🤣🤣)

Expand full comment

Without a doubt. Her name or her nickname that puts a new meaning to antibiotic-resistant pathogens, would require several extra inches of bumper sticker space, and probably confuse the typical dumb shit MAGA voter. Can't see the racist hypocritical GOP embracing Scott on the ballot especially when they're still losing their feeble minds over Obama.

Expand full comment

I love that and I am stealing it!

Expand full comment

I am honored.

Expand full comment

Seen an old photo of Elise ,looks like she has a lazy eye in it ,

Maybe Streptococki might be appropriate ?,Or perhaps 🤔 plural if family is around?

Expand full comment

How would you introduce her and the family? I’d like you too meet the Streptococcus’s ? Nah ,just don’t roll off the tongue 👅 right,these here folk’s are the streptococki,nope not fluid enough,the streptocockies ,yeah that’s it ! Nice ,a little ethnic,but it’s pleasing to the ear ,but everyone would stare at their peepers ,oh well it is what it is.Nobody’s perfect 🤩 especially Elise

Expand full comment

I can't stop LAUGHINGGGG

Expand full comment

streptocockies --OMG ahahahahahahaha!

Expand full comment

🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

LOVE LOVE LOVEEE!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

Hell (Fucking AI keyboard)

Expand full comment

You got one of them too? Better be careful. If you don't proof read, you might give away all your assets.

Expand full comment

It's Grammerly. It's actually quite helpful. It doesn't do profanity well.

Expand full comment

Then you need an upgrade!

Expand full comment

Add it to your dictionary lol its fuckin hilarious

Expand full comment

At times it doesn't do "human" very well either.

Expand full comment

That viral infection would be honored to have his little canned mushroom anywhere near her

Expand full comment

OMG, double-gagged!🤮🤮

Expand full comment

I just spit coffee. Thanks, I needed a new keyboard anyway

Expand full comment

Apologies!!

Expand full comment

Yep. Streptococcus is so deep in the trump cult hole that she will never emerge intact. As for Tim Scott, if he sucked any harder on his god’s, er um, finger his head would explode. At least he wouldn’t have to get married. His beard would escape that torture at least.

Expand full comment

Absolutely

Expand full comment

She is my rep. Lucky me. My thoughts are, she would. And her husband would hold her skirt up.

Expand full comment

A friend of mine has BoBo, no one deserves that kind of pain either

Expand full comment

Ugh. I just can’t imagine what stupid person votes for such trash. And to think we are surrounded.

Expand full comment

Only if she swallows

Expand full comment

No question.

Expand full comment

Great point !!!

Expand full comment

Absolutely that and more!

Expand full comment

Yikes perish the thought!

Expand full comment

The drive to hold onto power no matter what is all that these people have. It's baffling watching half a dozen people compete to be seen with this guy in public! This dude would have been a political disaster any time before Obama.

Racists, however, couldn't cope with the idea that the black guy did better than the 43 white guys before so they were willing to look for the most racist person they possible could.

Which was great - millions died, trillions of dollars were burned or stolen, national security secrets were sold left and right, dozens of US covert operatives slain, and the country took a nosedive in every category that mattered.

But holy shit did they show those libs how a white man can do (poorly.)

BUT SLEEPY BRANDON HAS A MILKSHAKE!

Expand full comment

I like most of your comment, - but “sleepy brandon” is anything but sleepy. His administration has kicked ass and continues to do so. His cabinet has remained a stable force of qualified individuals unlike his predecessor who had a revolving door of incompetents coming and going, you needed a Dramamine just to follow...

Expand full comment

Yeah the last bit was supposed to be a parody of the media's propensity for false equivalencies.

Expand full comment

I was just told that I should make my sarcasm more obvious by a correspondent at another blog missing the kind of piranhas of wit Tiedrich attracts. So: Sleepy (wink!) creepy (wink wink!) sniffy (wink wink wink) Old Uncle Joe had better get busy if he’s going to derail the Trump Train. I kid because I care, seriously, folks, Trump is a piñata brimming with ordure.

Expand full comment

Oh, what a silly goose! I forgot to mention the subject that got me the scolding from that sincere reader. Facing the Hurricane Katrina of shit that is the Dobbs decision, I decided to pose as a concerned voter who was uncertain about Hillary, and who never ever could have anticipated the reversal of Roe. Why, it was established law! Guess I should have made my sarcasm more apparent. And I guess I should get over it, it was eight years ago. I guess I’ll get over it...how about NEVER! IS NEVER A GOOD TIME FOR YOU? WE WARNED YOU, YOU LIBERAL AIRHEADS! DR JILL STEIN MY ASS! WE TOLD YOU THIS WAS COMING DOWN, BUT OH, NO, YOU PUT THE BACK OF YOUR WRIST TO YOUR FOREHEAD, AND VOTED FOR SOME BOUTIQUE CANDIDATE TO SHOW EVERYONE HOW INDEPENDENT YOU WERE! SHRIEK! RAVE! RANT!

Expand full comment

You express my feelings about the loss of Roe v Wade!! I was 23 & a staunch Feminist in 1973. I was so happy to have that & the potential of getting the ERA ratified. Never did I imagine this shit show of rights being chiseled away. I’m so angry, bitter, & at times depressed.

Expand full comment

People are on edge. Best to add the /s to indicate sarcasm.

Expand full comment

I usually assume the best of Jeff's readership's sarcasm detectors unless I'm being particularly subtle.

Expand full comment

I got it- Irony.

Expand full comment

Yep! Dark Brandon Rocks!

Expand full comment

And the way he sucked on the straw wasn't manly enough. Who comes up with this stuff?

Expand full comment

People very interested in manly sucking apparently.

Expand full comment

Right! Looking at you, Hannity!

Expand full comment

Good one!

Expand full comment

fox dipshits

Expand full comment

Yup--and I don't even think THEY take this shit seriously. They probably laugh about how dumb the people that listen to their unholy spiel are as they count their millions.

Expand full comment

Jean E. Should name Fox 🦊 in the next suit ,thin the bank a bit Trumpkin might be a bit light in his 💰 cash flow after NYC ‘s done with his stinky ass on Wednesday!

Expand full comment

I know right, take the only thing the man and FOX adore! His money!

Expand full comment

I wonder when the $5 million of the first case will be paid to E. Jean. The $83.3 is going to take longer. He might still convince some bank in the world to let him have a bond for 110% of $83.3 million, in order to appeal the second case.

I wonder in part because Trump is attempting to defame her indirectly through such people as Rudy Colludy Guiliani and Elise Streptococcus. So I wonder if E. Jean has enough $$$$$$$ to go after them for defaming her, too.

Expand full comment

Old fashioned word: Nimrods

Expand full comment

You win today!

Expand full comment

Isn't that the scary pathetic part?

Expand full comment

All they have left is hate. No ideas, no integrity, no character. They have forgotten why they were elected. We are watching in real time what was a major political party dissolve into laughable nothingness. And we’re seeing what happens to our society when education isn’t valued. 🤦‍♀️

Expand full comment

And we’re AGAIN seeing what happens when a sizable percentage of a formerly great nation throws in with a cult leader repeating a fable they like to hear over and over again, until they believe it without question. When I say again I’m looking at you, 1930s Germany.

Expand full comment

It wasn’t just in Germany. There was an openly active Nazi Party here in the good old USA. They had Nazi summer camps & held a huge rally at Madison Square Garden.

I found a little 1 hr doc called

Naziville if you’re interested. I just googled it

Expand full comment

The Rethuglican party needs to go the way of its predecessor, the Whigs.

Expand full comment

Hmmmm. I think the power behind the street level maggots know exactly what they want. They want a white Christian fascism power structure. Wherein they make a gazillion dollars to buy yachts with while the rest of us work our asses into the ground and die early. Just saying!

Expand full comment

All they had to BEGIN with was hate, which they have in spades. And white people too.

Expand full comment

And Teachers not valued!

Expand full comment

I so agree with you. With so many friends who are in the classroom, I hear some horror stories.

Expand full comment

Nuthin' to add here. And of course that NY rep will never be vp nominee; too "ethnic" a name. Hell, Ronna dropped her name and they covered up "John McCain" on the battleship. It's turtles all the way down. He'll pick some hillbilly.

Oh, and he will fucking lose. Then it'll be like Germany after WWII, where it was all "Nazis? We were never Nazis. I suppose there may have been some over in the next village..."

Expand full comment

When I read "hillbilly" I immediately thought of Sarah Huckster Slanders.

Expand full comment

Not impossible

Expand full comment

Impossible. Slanders isn't "hot" enough for him.

Expand full comment

Won't be a hottie. He's not getting overshadowed like McCain did with Palin. My vote - white woman. Probably Midwest because that vote is not a given. Middle aged. Non threatening to Middle American women like a young hottie would be. Probably not Noem- she's kind of disappeared after Corey. Definitely religious and wears it on her sleeve. Someone who's not mouthy like Lake, Mace or Greene. Once again, he's not having attention taken away from him. There's Blackburn in TN or Sanders in Ark. Not really Midwest, but close enough. Or the pig castrator in Iowa. Perfect. White, military, not flashy, religious Joni Ernst. It won't be someone from the West. Michele Fiore from Vegas is even too trashy and stupid for him. Definitely will not be someone who is black, particularly a black woman because they are trying to make sure they put him in prison. His racist cult will not vote for a black person because even though many of them are dumber than dirt, both parties know that whomever is VP in 2025 may end up president due to Biden's and Trump's age. Horrors upon horrors. Another black man who dared to wear a tan suit.

Expand full comment

Trump is teetering on the brink mentally, physically and emotionally (insofar as a psychopath can be), and his criteria for a VP is a danger. He, not Biden, could well not make it for the next four years. Something more to worry about.

Expand full comment

Probably right. Also, many fundamentalist wacko types believe that men must rule.

Expand full comment

Ugh!🤮🤮🤮

Expand full comment

Triple that!

Expand full comment

🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment

I did too. Locks in the Evangelicals, cult women, her obnoxious dad, and the South.

Expand full comment

Trump | Vance

Expand full comment

She's not his "type," physically, therefore not his type for a VP. I wish I were kidding.

Expand full comment

Hey while we're on the topic of veeps, where do the loyalties of Hope Hicks lie these days?

Expand full comment

Been wondering about Hicks too.

Expand full comment

Yah over ze hill playing with da V-2 ‘s plenty oft ze Nazis !

Expand full comment

I do believe that there will be a day when all of this will be over. The Trump name will disappear from skyscrapers and golf courses. Congress will debate over programs that will advance the American people and agree on them. America will be the beacon of Freedom and Democracy to the world. People that truly want to represent those who elect them will be in the news.

I will believe this until the day dawns and the morning star rises in my heart.

Expand full comment

I agree but this election we have to win everything in order to get that world started. I hope I live to see it.

Expand full comment

Me too, thank you.

Expand full comment

Many of us have been here since FDR or Harry Truman were in the White House. We are all waiting for that day.

Expand full comment

I agree. This is going to be a much studied period in our history. But I do think that what will emerge from this melee is progressive policies

Expand full comment

Puff puff pass.

Expand full comment

I’m with you Darrell. We shouldn’t abandon hope and give in to the very cynicism MAFA thrives on. I want to believe good can prevail.

Expand full comment

What drugs do you take?

Expand full comment

I am a empath and optimist. I don't need any drugs. I don't side with evil so I look for those who do to disappear.

Expand full comment

Thanks Darrell Smith!! I want to believe!

Expand full comment

Dear ignorant who asked the secessionist question about Social Security: nope. What don’t you understand? If you’re no longer part of the US you don’t get the “perks” of being a citizen. Another failure of Texas’ crappy education system

Expand full comment

They say everything's bigger in Texas. Apparently, that doesn't include brains.

Expand full comment

IDK, I’m pretty sure that if you live in a foreign country, as an ex-pat but still a citizen, you still get your SS checks. If you become a citizen of Texas the country and either do not or cannot have dual citizenship, I think you might lose it. Medicare and Medicaid would be gone though.

Expand full comment

I say, as a succession, you forfeit all the benefits of being an American. My husband says you get back only what you paid because it’s like a 401K. He thinks it’s a separate issue. However, no federal money for Texas. That goes without saying.

Expand full comment

Yes, you do as an ex-pat because you’re still a citizen (unless you renounce your citizenship) and yes they would lose those too.

Expand full comment

Tim Scott: “myself and all the voters that support Donald Trump support a return to normalcy as it relates to what affects their kitchen table.” ~ A return to normalcy? Are Tim and Alina together? They're finding it very difficult to be pretty, and not able to fake intelligence. Sheesh!!!

As to E. Jean, rape does not mean 'type' of victim, it means, the Raper has power over the Rapee. Rape is about power and nothing else. It's not sex. 'Type' has nothing to do with it.

Expand full comment

plus, which i haven't heard the press point out, has he ever said, "I would never rape a woman"?

No, he just says she's not my type. So, that pretty much says, that he only rapes women who are his type. Fucking PIG, sorry pigs.

Expand full comment

You're right! I have never heard him say, "I would never rape a woman" By saying she's not his type, that puts it into consensual sex, and he would never consider consensual sex with the woman who looks like his ex-wife Marla Maples. He actually made a remark in one interview where men have raped women for millions of years. Yeah? So what? You're right, he's a Star Farking Pig!

Expand full comment

Pigs do not attack with hate

Expand full comment

I can think of no animal, other than homo sapiens, that attacks with hate.

Expand full comment

Arnold Z says no problem oink!🐷

Expand full comment

Oh the logic. Ban that too.

Expand full comment

The Texans who are all “we have the most guns” seem to forget the U.S. military bases in Texas are Federal Property and have these things called planes with bombs. Then the navy like to blockade and lob rockets, ask the houthis. Dear Texas, succession will turn the state into “cartel country” and it’s open season on republican’s one would assume.

Expand full comment

Texas wouldn't last a year independently. Either Mexico or the US would have them surrender the land or get bombed into the stone age. Knowing Abbot, he'll scream "Never surrender!" and then fly to Cuba before the bombs drop.

Expand full comment

Spot on assessment....There is a beautiful old plantation home right in the mouth at the port in Guantanamo Bay....I do believe there’s some luxury “private rooms” in Cuba the world’s press wouldn’t mind seeing Abbot reside in! 😂

Expand full comment

Mexico wants nothing to do with those hateful hillbillies. Well, they might like to take all their cattle and horses but that's about it.

Expand full comment

There you are. Been looking for you. Been considering Mexico and wanted to establish correspondence with you for information.

Expand full comment

Will i regret giving you my email address? Just in case, you give me yours so I don't give out mine to everybody on Jeff's newsletter who may be weird.

Expand full comment

I tried using my publication's chat to get a hold of you since I have a much small audience. Also I have a bevy of apps we could use that wouldn't require giving out personal info.

Expand full comment

i just subscribed to your newsletter so you should have my email address

Expand full comment

You've got the Cuba thing wrong. When our pols face adversity, they fly to Cancun.

Expand full comment

I didn't think he'd want to steal Rafael's thunder.

Expand full comment

It's more like he wouldn't want to be anywhere near Cruz. No one wants to be near Cruz. Not even his own kids.

Expand full comment

Abbott? Abbbottt? A bot? Fucking autocorrupt. I'd Google it but I don't respect him enough to care.

Expand full comment

"HEY ABBOTT!"

Lou Costello

Expand full comment

When it’s all said and done,Texas could be chopped up into 5 or 6 separate states,as it should have been in the1850’s ,if Abbott’s not hanging from a lynching pole he could be exiled to the one with the largest minority population,wouldn’t that be dandy ??

Expand full comment

I wouldn't put it past him to have constructed a bunker he could survive a nuclear war in by now. He doesn't live in the Governor's residence -- in fact, one of his biggest problems with Austin (aside from all the libs who live here and the laws that prohibited stores from using throwaway plastic bags -- something he got the lege to nullify as soon as he took office) is that the city came after him for cutting down some venerable old-growth trees in his new yard, in contravention of Austin's laws against such acts. He does tend to hold a grudge.

Expand full comment

“Do you believe E. Jean Carroll?” @VaughnHillyard asks Elise Stefanik.

Stefanik: “No, of course not… The media is so biased. This is just another example of the media being out of touch.”

DJT was not "out of touch" in that department store 20 years ago. I wonder how many he has been “in touch" with.

Expand full comment

Republicans could nominate a literal pile of poop, and they’d all get behind because it’s republican. As long as it supports tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations and wants to take away women’s control over their own bodies.

Expand full comment

they elected a dead guy in 2018 and they knew he was dead. some state congressman in a redneck state.

Expand full comment

WTAF?

Expand full comment

Missouri senator in 2000. His wife took his place if I recall.

Expand full comment
founding

Missouri hasn't always been red. In 2000, Democrat Mel Carnahan was running against John Ashcroft. Carnahan was killed in a plane crash, it was too late to remove his name from the ballot and the governor appointed Carnahan's wife to the term. At that time in Missouri, a DEAD MAN beat Ashcroft.

Expand full comment

LOL! 🤣🤣🤣👍

Expand full comment

And roll back gay marriage

Expand full comment

Yeah, the crappy, corrupted, Supreme 6 have already made it okay to discriminate against gay couples wanting a wedding cake or website. 🙄🤬🤬

Expand full comment

These MAGAT fucks truly are diseased-ridden shit. An absolute fucking plague on the human race.

Expand full comment

regarding the final note here on the secession of texASS, where can I send money to support that??....that is the one right wing cause I wholeheartedly support!!!

Expand full comment

Quit dumping on poor gerrymandered, under-educated Texas as if it's a monolith. Loudmouths aside, it's a purple state with a way better shot at being turned than say Arkansas or Mississipi. You are disrespecting all the progressive activists, POCs, and all kinds of decent people who don't have the option of leaving, just for a cheap laugh ... it gets old.

Expand full comment

No, people are dumping on Texas government. Texas will never be able to secede and we all know that. I used to live in California and that state has taken a shitload of ribbing over my lifetime. Some of it was earned and I had to laugh.

Expand full comment

CA still takes a hell of a ribbing since I live here and continue to hear a lot of this crap. Fortunately, my city and county have a lot of nice sensible thinking folks and those obnoxious MAGA pickup trucks with the flags supporting tangerinous assholiness are few and far between. For those who continue to bitch and hate living here, there's a solution, you can move.

Expand full comment

I'm truly sorry for the decent people there, but while the MAJORITY of that wasteland continues to vote in vile cunts like abbott and cruz, I will continue to shit on that fuckhole state....I didn't post this for a laugh, I literally hate that fucking state and its sprint backwards 100 years!!!

Expand full comment

Those of us on Jeff’s stack don’t mean to disparage the great Democratic, Liberal, & Progressives in Texas, but we sure need to hear from ya’ll a lot more, & louder please. I was born in Uvalde & raised within 20 miles of there until I married at 16 & moved away. I have family in Seminole, San Angelo, Kerrville, & Seguin; unfortunately all of them are magats & voted for Trump & we’re jubilant at the Dobbs decision. But so pissed at them for that, I can barely speak. I sent my very Christian nephew an article about Kate Cox & told him “Hope your proud of yourself” I have decided I’m not setting foot back in Texas until the folks who do still live there get it together & force their state govt to change course. I just can’t in good conscience spend a dime of my money there.

I will contribute to D campaigns to try & help. I’ve been a monthly donor to Colin Allred since I learned he was running against Cruz.

I’ve lived in NM for the last 34 yrs & love it. I sincerely wish all the progressive activists all the best, hope you’re able to make progress.

btw Wendy Davis is one of my sheroes, the Turning Point doc about her “Shouting Down Midnight” was amazing & brought me to tears.

Expand full comment

Give Texassistan back to Mexico and then make DC a state so there's no need to change the flags.

Expand full comment

It’s a very sad state of affairs when our morals, ethics, religious teachings (for those of us who are religious), mean zilch in this upside-down world of ours. There are very few Statesmen left who capture an audience because of their intelligence, ability to articulate well, and overall character. More and more, the political stage has morphed into a Barnum and Bailey circus act, - and there’s nothing funny about it. We’re “circling the drain” and all we can hope is that the Dems show up at the polls in November.

Expand full comment
founding

Highly recommend North Carolina’s Jeff Jackson, D, as the real deal. Either that or there just aren’t any.

Expand full comment

Yes! Love Jeff’s newsletter. He is “the real deal” He lost his district to redistricting and will run for Attorney General of NC. I hope he goes all the way to the White House. His Constituents on Substack are already urging him to run for Governor. I digress. BTW I lost a previous comment that I was writing half way through. You may see a wounded comment floating around. Please Ignore.

Expand full comment

Tim Scott saying Americans want to get back to normalcy? Um, yeah, that means we don’t want to see or hear from Trump EVER AGAIN

Expand full comment

Looking forward to Judge Engoron adding an additional $450 million of misery to Liar Fraud Con Traitor Scumbag Sex Abuser Trump’s shitty life.

Expand full comment

They're doing the shitgibbon dance. Pandering to the mad dogs among us. The schadenfreude tsunami will drag them out to sea. Tim Scott reminds me of the house servant in "Django Unchained". Biden should close and relocate every Federal facility in Texas. (NASA, Fort Hood, etc.) No, goober. You won't get your SSI check if your state succeeds. (Maybe a JDAM conversation piece in your living room)

Expand full comment

That Social Security post about pushed me over the edge. 🤓😂

Expand full comment

It's the absolute definition of magical thinking—I can leave behind everything I don't like about the US, but my Social Security check will still arrive.

Expand full comment

I loved it too and immediately imagined

social media exploding into millions of laptops and iPhones with that perfect display of stupid. Imagine he wears storm trooper gear; face covered with a soiled hankie (though against the real one to save lives) and hunting knife hanging at the ready.

Expand full comment

Dis house is shure gon crazy 🤪 3 stooges cook , That’s a mirror image for that opportunistic Uncle Tom whore ,boot licking ,asshole,turn on anything you’ll get it!

Expand full comment

Yes, Biden/Congress should do that. There are 3-4 HUGE military bases in San Antonio area alone, Naval Air Station in Corpus Christi & many more. The TX economy would be crippled without all that military money. They need to think about that.

Expand full comment

They're not much for thinking.

Expand full comment