by the way, I've been seeing screenshots of an alleged Truth Social post by Trump that reads "I wasn't sleeping, I was praying" — but I couldn't find it on his feed, so I have to conclude it's fake. I would have certainly used it otherwise
Even if it came from Borowitz, it's hilarious, and completely within the realm of what dozing dotard would say. By the way, Jeff, thank you for slogging through his feeds so the rest of us don't have to. You deserve the congressional medal of honor!
I'll bet there will shortly be another new portrait, probably even in NFT form, of him praying! The ones where he's crossing the Delaware usually just piss me off (whether the boat's full of MAGAts or not), but the ones of him praying are just fucking hilarious.
I did an ice coffee spit take when I read “…I was praying.” I haven’t laughed that hard since he compared himself to Mandela. When he compared himself to Jesus, I was struck mute Then I wondered WWJD?
Maybe you can write about MTG as an Impeachment Manager! Seriously, what in the actual fuck? That trash heap compared to the likes of former Impeachment Manager Jamie Raskin...mind boggling.
Gotta love that. Nice to see the nodding numbskull sitting there having to stew in his shit and have to take it for a change. With six more weeks of this on the horizon, Rip Van Stinkle won't know whether to shit or go blind.
Jeff...this one was amazing. I haven't laughed so hard in so long. Keep me laughing. I wait for the day ol' Agolf drops himself in a 6 ft hole. Gonna get out the magnum of Verve Cliquot and sip it all day long......well if he goes to JAIL I will do same!
I’ve sat on two juries, one civil and one criminal. I could be impartial because I didn’t know anything about these people nor had I read anything about the murder in the criminal one. I could never be an impartial juror on an Orange case because that asshole has been in the news forever. I’ve disliked him forever. I hope he goes to jail forever.
I was called "science guy" during mine, but made the jury anyway. During the first break -- despite instructions not to discuss the case -- the foreman was bitching about how women shouldn't be wearing pants and the defense attorney had some nerve, so I told the bailiff that shit was happening and they brought me in to testify on the witness stand and the case was halted, the jury dismissed, and a plea agreement reached.
"I Fought the Law and the Law Won" ('60's song Bobby Fuller Four"). Saving that to post everywhere when he loses final appeals of each case! "Breakin' rocks in the hot sun, IFTLATLW" ⚖️🇺🇸🗽
LOL Ihad 3 younger sisters. She aked me if I could sing, after she saw Jackie DeShannon on the Loyd Thaxton Show. I was on that show, but ,I did the lip sync, to Don't Mess With Bill. I was 15.
OMG our family watched all Lennon Sisters, Lawrence Welk, Ed Sullivan, Perry Como, every weekend “EVERY” 🤣 what a hoot. Does that really make me old?? 🥲 I kinda feel like I was/or have been blessed to know so much!!! Oh, and my grandpa was always ther for dinner on
Saturday nights. Good good memories. Thank for bringing up this “light convo” these are the important things. Be Well, all. 🇺🇸
An embarrassment of riches for any satirist, from Aristophanes through to Voltaire and our own Mr. Tiedrich. To me, though, the bestest best would've been the brilliant cartoonist Don Martin, from the Wm. Gaines era of MAD Magazine. Can you imagine how great that would've been?
Me too. I saw Richard Pryor live at Carnegie Hall and he said that Ronald Reagan looked like "a dick in a suit" (it's part of his third concert film). Imagine what Carlin and Pryor would have to say about Trump.
Is any judge actually going to put him in jail for his antics? Any other person would have been thrown in jail. Enough with treating this man like he’s special. Treat him like the defendant he is. Shit, if anyone else had taken one secret document, we’d be in jail. Enough already. When is the finding out part?
You may very well be correct about that, it must be mentally eating away the few brain cells he has left and the fact he cannot keep his trap shut under any circumstances. His mouth will be his downfall. Hope it happens sooner than later.
I agree and it sets a horrible but accurate example of our corrupt and unfair justice system. It’s designed to work for the rich and powerful, not the common man. And dont get me started on the Supreme Court…talk about corruption.
It's all about the Appeals process. Most of us wouldn't know about it. Every judge knows that trunt loves to sue everyone over stupid shit. These judges are not stupid, nor us trunt their 1st rodeo. They know what they are doing even if we don't.
Yep. Been hearing about that a lot from attorneys watching the proceedings. They say the judge is following all processes to the T so there can be no room for Appeal. Justice moves slowly for a reason, I guess.
We KNOW that if it wasn't a former President of the USA, the trial would be over and the perp in prison or jail. Since these are unprecedented charges against trunt, the judges have to be much more careful that their t's are crossed etc.
I understand that judges don’t like to be overturned on appeal. Well, except for Aileen Cannon who only serves her Dear Leader. It’s hard to imagine that any appeals court would reverse a contempt jailing after repeated violations of a judicial order. No judge, regardless of where they fall in the hierarchy, likes to see defendants blatantly disregard orders
Almost the entire state of New York hates Trump. They will be watch for witness tampering and jury intimidation from everywhere including the International Space Station.
He has a "free" day today to whine about it or threaten the judge and the DOJ.
The only church he has ever been in was the church of high crimes.
Karen, Great article - blast from the past. It's interesting that Fran Lebowitz got the reason for Trump's success day one, and everyone else was blaming Hillary for overlooking the forgotten man. Ha! Nope, it was 100% deplorables turning out and celebrating one of their own.
"Lebowitz believes naked racism is behind Trump’s election. “He allowed people to express their racism and bigotry in a way that they haven’t been able to in quite a while and they really love him for that. It’s a shocking thing to realise people love their hatred more than they care about their own actual lives. The hatred – what is that about? It’s a fear of your own weakness.”"
by the way, I've been seeing screenshots of an alleged Truth Social post by Trump that reads "I wasn't sleeping, I was praying" — but I couldn't find it on his feed, so I have to conclude it's fake. I would have certainly used it otherwise
Even if it came from Borowitz, it's hilarious, and completely within the realm of what dozing dotard would say. By the way, Jeff, thank you for slogging through his feeds so the rest of us don't have to. You deserve the congressional medal of honor!
“Dozing dotard” 😂🤣☠️
EXACTLY! It's SO plausible coming from trump, you know, get the "evangelical" fundamentalists on your side - 'cos they'll believe anything!
Yes you do Jeff thank you
Jimmy Kimmel said that according to Trump's side any claim that he falls asleep is "Fake Snooze."
HAHAHAHA!!!
God bless Jimmy Kimmel's writers!
Amen! 😂
Badumtish! LOVE IT!
😂😂😂
LOL
How has he not been struck by lightning?
Lightning has standards ?
Ahahahaha!
💀
Unlike Onan, Fred Trump should have been zapped by a lightning bolt for not spilling his seed.
man, punishment from heaven has sure has gone downhill lately...
I think his “orange face” protects him. Ever since that Jewish space lasers tragedy he has to be careful.
That's not fair!
We were aiming for Marjorie Taylor Greene—it's not MY fault Trump got in the way.
Jeez, so judgy... YOU try targeting a laser from Jewish airspace sometime.
https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1000,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7fc73f24-3fb9-4449-bc98-39a818280f1d_3000x1080.jpeg
I'll bet there will shortly be another new portrait, probably even in NFT form, of him praying! The ones where he's crossing the Delaware usually just piss me off (whether the boat's full of MAGAts or not), but the ones of him praying are just fucking hilarious.
With six fingers on each hand, no doubt. https://petapixel.com/2024/01/24/trump-shares-ai-image-of-himself-praying-with-six-fingers/
that image was hilarious! though you've got to wonder if the AIs know more about him than we do...
I think that would make him an alien…👽
it would explain a lot lol
I did an ice coffee spit take when I read “…I was praying.” I haven’t laughed that hard since he compared himself to Mandela. When he compared himself to Jesus, I was struck mute Then I wondered WWJD?
He was praying for acquittal.
...If Moloch didn't appear, fire shooting out of his bull horns demanding an unbaptized baby to sacrifice? Then it's not true.
And snoring
I’ve heard that “homeslice” before & kinda knew what it referred to, & I also got really tickled by it.
court's not in session today. I get to write about something else tomorrow
Maybe you can write about MTG as an Impeachment Manager! Seriously, what in the actual fuck? That trash heap compared to the likes of former Impeachment Manager Jamie Raskin...mind boggling.
MTG is a daily gift to comedians and truthtellers (like Jeff). He might get bored with it!
The GOP’s official seal is The Clown Car.
Or a seal in a birthday hat juggling a red ball.
Engage your passions.
Jeff, one of these days the world is gonna run out of stupid and you'll be in deep shit.
NOT!
Stick with it !
Dang
"Trump had to sit there and take it as Judge Merchan read aloud tweet after tweet, all mocking him." This report, alone, has made my day!
Gotta love that. Nice to see the nodding numbskull sitting there having to stew in his shit and have to take it for a change. With six more weeks of this on the horizon, Rip Van Stinkle won't know whether to shit or go blind.
RIP VAN STINKLE ! EXCELLENT 🤣
Thank you!
I'm stealing that ! I only steal from the best 😚
RVS. Oh My God...thats priceless. 😂😂
Did anyone happen to make a list of those tweets? Let’s call it comic relief.
Jeff...this one was amazing. I haven't laughed so hard in so long. Keep me laughing. I wait for the day ol' Agolf drops himself in a 6 ft hole. Gonna get out the magnum of Verve Cliquot and sip it all day long......well if he goes to JAIL I will do same!
I’m with ya! Good choice of bubbly! 😋
I'll have a light beer, I don't have a champagne pocketbook
Sparkling wine is a good, cheap substitute.
Me too!
I have a bottle of that in the fridge....with Prison Day marked on it!
I’ve sat on two juries, one civil and one criminal. I could be impartial because I didn’t know anything about these people nor had I read anything about the murder in the criminal one. I could never be an impartial juror on an Orange case because that asshole has been in the news forever. I’ve disliked him forever. I hope he goes to jail forever.
I've never made it thought a voir dire. kicked off every time
I was called "science guy" during mine, but made the jury anyway. During the first break -- despite instructions not to discuss the case -- the foreman was bitching about how women shouldn't be wearing pants and the defense attorney had some nerve, so I told the bailiff that shit was happening and they brought me in to testify on the witness stand and the case was halted, the jury dismissed, and a plea agreement reached.
Good for you, you did the moral thing. I hope all jurors take their responsibility that seriously
It's always a possibility.
You're way too knowledgeable.
Same here. I wonder why?
It really depends on what the attorneys are looking for in a juror.
You and me both. But of course I moved to another state and I just got a postcard telling me I’ve “been chosen,” to serve again!!
That’s how I got nailed for the criminal trial
I didn’t think I would either. I need a better line next time.
I was excused as a possible juror because I’m opposed to my state’s ‘three strikes’ law.
The NodFather!
Oh im pissing myself!
Thank you for that one!
There's also "Don Snoreleone."
& DOZO the CLOWN
Yeah, I like that one
That's Priceless
I can't take the accordion hands anymore, Donald mushroom dick, is no Myron Florin. ( Points if you're old enough to know the reference) 😁
Did you see the meem where they put a squeeze box in his hands! Hilarious! 🤣
The PAB, is not so " WUNNAFULL, WUNNAFULL ".
Link please? What tune was he playing?
https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/humour/donald-trump-accordion-meme/
I Fought the Law & the Law Won ?
"I Fought the Law and the Law Won" ('60's song Bobby Fuller Four"). Saving that to post everywhere when he loses final appeals of each case! "Breakin' rocks in the hot sun, IFTLATLW" ⚖️🇺🇸🗽
Bobby Fuller had issues.
I can’t remember where I saw it. 😜
There are four UTube videos. Search UTube for ‘AccordionTrump’
I got that reference and damn proud of it. I remember the Lennon sisters too. Color me old.
Sa- a- d Movies Always Make Me Cry
My mother asked me can you girls sing ?
LOL Ihad 3 younger sisters. She aked me if I could sing, after she saw Jackie DeShannon on the Loyd Thaxton Show. I was on that show, but ,I did the lip sync, to Don't Mess With Bill. I was 15.
Good for you! I used to sing in church and perform in community theater but for the longest time was scared shitless until I got older.
Lloyd Thaxton Show! I used to watch that!
OMG our family watched all Lennon Sisters, Lawrence Welk, Ed Sullivan, Perry Como, every weekend “EVERY” 🤣 what a hoot. Does that really make me old?? 🥲 I kinda feel like I was/or have been blessed to know so much!!! Oh, and my grandpa was always ther for dinner on
Saturday nights. Good good memories. Thank for bringing up this “light convo” these are the important things. Be Well, all. 🇺🇸
Am with you on all of this! Didn’t we all have a crush on Bobby? 😄
Every Saturday evening.
My father made me take accordion lessons, I hated it. I was raised in Minnesota til I was 9
Just like Jerry Lundegard's kid in "Fargo".
I could've been another Judi Tenuta ! Dang it !
My dad used to make us watch until Bobby and so and so danced before I went out on Saturday nights. It was torture for me and worse if I had a date.
😆😆
😂😂 I'm 67. Great tunes in the '60's!
OMG, The Lennon Sisters! Life came to a halt at family trips to Grandma's. Sat. nights "The Lawrence Welk Show"!
He’s not Dick Contino either
Or a Weird Al.
❤ Weird Al !
Lawrence Welk Show??
And now Bobby & Cissy !
Alas, definitely old enough.
“The cult of ignorance”! I call it the cult of stupidity. Ignorance can be fixed, stupidity cannot.
From the movie Coal Miners Daughter,
" I ain't stupid, I'm ignorant ! "
Agreed Marguerite.
An embarrassment of riches for any satirist, from Aristophanes through to Voltaire and our own Mr. Tiedrich. To me, though, the bestest best would've been the brilliant cartoonist Don Martin, from the Wm. Gaines era of MAD Magazine. Can you imagine how great that would've been?
We need George Carlin and Richard Pryor also.
I would give anything to hear what George would be saying.
Me too. I saw Richard Pryor live at Carnegie Hall and he said that Ronald Reagan looked like "a dick in a suit" (it's part of his third concert film). Imagine what Carlin and Pryor would have to say about Trump.
Go to Carlin on You Tube. George saw the likes of trump and ignorance coming long before he died.
💯💯💯💯💯
Bill. Hicks.
Neal, you put my memory into scanning mode, and I've having so much fun imagining a Don Martin version of TFFG!
Same. Endless.
🎯 Huge Mad Magazine fan back in the day.
His smartest move right now would be to croak.
Coming closer to a DIRT NAP, every day !
Hopefully the stress of the trial will help him croak. This would work for me.
Probably just make him more bizarro than ever.
You know it!
Is any judge actually going to put him in jail for his antics? Any other person would have been thrown in jail. Enough with treating this man like he’s special. Treat him like the defendant he is. Shit, if anyone else had taken one secret document, we’d be in jail. Enough already. When is the finding out part?
As long as trumps in court he's in jail. In a way it's worse. 2 more weeks and he'll be jumping up on desks and speaking in tongues...
You may very well be correct about that, it must be mentally eating away the few brain cells he has left and the fact he cannot keep his trap shut under any circumstances. His mouth will be his downfall. Hope it happens sooner than later.
OMG hahaha!!!!
I agree and it sets a horrible but accurate example of our corrupt and unfair justice system. It’s designed to work for the rich and powerful, not the common man. And dont get me started on the Supreme Court…talk about corruption.
It's all about the Appeals process. Most of us wouldn't know about it. Every judge knows that trunt loves to sue everyone over stupid shit. These judges are not stupid, nor us trunt their 1st rodeo. They know what they are doing even if we don't.
Yep. Been hearing about that a lot from attorneys watching the proceedings. They say the judge is following all processes to the T so there can be no room for Appeal. Justice moves slowly for a reason, I guess.
We KNOW that if it wasn't a former President of the USA, the trial would be over and the perp in prison or jail. Since these are unprecedented charges against trunt, the judges have to be much more careful that their t's are crossed etc.
I understand that judges don’t like to be overturned on appeal. Well, except for Aileen Cannon who only serves her Dear Leader. It’s hard to imagine that any appeals court would reverse a contempt jailing after repeated violations of a judicial order. No judge, regardless of where they fall in the hierarchy, likes to see defendants blatantly disregard orders
Judge does seem to be wanting to limit appeal opportunities.
Almost the entire state of New York hates Trump. They will be watch for witness tampering and jury intimidation from everywhere including the International Space Station.
He has a "free" day today to whine about it or threaten the judge and the DOJ.
The only church he has ever been in was the church of high crimes.
They will be watching. And he is liable to do something incredibly stupid on his day off today.
The day inspection in a Y. So of course trunt will do or say something incredibly stupid.
“ how does this imbecile get the fork to his mouth without stabbing himself in the eye.”
I roared with cruel laughter
No worries. It’ll be in the JT HOF.
The great Fran Lebowitz and her perfect synopsis of Trump after the 2016 election..hilarious.
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2018/mar/20/fran-lebowitz-you-do-not-know-anyone-as-stupid-as-donald-trump
Karen, Great article - blast from the past. It's interesting that Fran Lebowitz got the reason for Trump's success day one, and everyone else was blaming Hillary for overlooking the forgotten man. Ha! Nope, it was 100% deplorables turning out and celebrating one of their own.
"Lebowitz believes naked racism is behind Trump’s election. “He allowed people to express their racism and bigotry in a way that they haven’t been able to in quite a while and they really love him for that. It’s a shocking thing to realise people love their hatred more than they care about their own actual lives. The hatred – what is that about? It’s a fear of your own weakness.”"
She’s a treasure!
Fran’s an original for sure, thanks for the link. Author, Brigid did a bang up job!
I’m not a legal brain, so honest question: can the prosecution get hold of this tape from yesterday and use it as a confession in the trial?
YES ! IT'S ADMISSIBLE EVIDENCE.
I am sure they already have it.
welcome to hell, Donald. population: you.
It’s about fucking time. He’s put sane Americans through hell for 8 years now. Paybacks are hell my dude.
Karma is a bitch!!
Karma's only a bitch if you are.