Donald Trump is teaching a master class in how to piss off a judge

go back to sleep, sundowning grandpa crankypants

Sleepy Donny Fuckface was roused from his slumbers during jury selection yesterday.

one of Trump’s ace lawyers was questioning a prospective juror — and evidently Donny overheard something he didn’t like, because he started muttering and waving his hands.

Judge Merchan did not like this one bit, and was all hey lawyerboy, go tell your shit-knuckle client to sit still and keep his reckless anus-mouth closed.

ok, I may have taken a few liberties with the judge’s admonishment. what Merchan actually said was —

“Your client was audibly uttering something...I won’t tolerate that. I will not have any jurors intimidated in this courtroom. I want to make that crystal clear.”

then,

Merchan instructed Blanche to tell Trump to stop such behavior. As Merchan spoke, Trump was slumped in his seat, sitting as though he were in a lounge chair.

what a pouty little toddler. what an insolent brat.

nobody tells me what to do. certainly not some stupid old judge. it’s not fair.

homeslice, you’re in a court of law. you don’t mouth off at the jury, and you certainly don’t do it in front of the judge.

go back to sleep, sundowning grandpa crankypants.

apparently the Nodfather thinks he can get away with this shit, despite what his lawyers have been telling him.

Mr. Trump’s lawyers have warned him repeatedly that he needs to try not to behave erratically in front of juries and that some judges will have him put in jail if he does.

give it a whirl, bro. keep up the childish antics. keep fucking around, because the finding out is going to be so sweet.

what had gotten Agolf Shitler so worked up over this particular juror was this:

A juror (a woman) is brought into the courtroom to be questioned about a Facebook post saying “It’s a full-on celebration in NYC” and “get in the car and spread some honking cheer!” on Election Day 2020.

Upon questioning, she says she went to move her car and saw a celebration. It reminded her of the essential worker celebrations. She emphasizes that she strongly believes she can do the job of a juror.

Blanche moves to strike that female juror for cause claiming that she has an unfavorable view of Trump. The prosecution objects saying there’s nothing there to indicate she’s biased against him. Judge Merchan rules that she cannot be challenged for cause because she credibly explained that she thought it was an essential worker celebration and she assured all that she could be impartial.

Donny Shitforbrains won’t be happy unless the jury is made up of twelve angry redhat cultists — but guess what, fuck-o: it’s not going to happen. you’re not inside the MAGA bubble any more. you’re out in the real world now, where very few people worship you as Infallible God-Emperor for Life. suck it up, buttercup.

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every prospective juror had their social media posts combed through, and — ok, I confess that I laughed out loud when I read this:

A prospective juror who reposted an AI-generated video in which AI Donald Trump says “I'm dumb as fuck” has been dismissed for cause

granted, this juror crossed the “can you be impartial” line, I’ll give you that — but where is the lie?

Trump had to sit there and take it as Judge Merchan read aloud tweet after tweet, all mocking him.

For more than an hour the notoriously thin-skinned Trump was forced to listen to jokes about his appearance, his likeability, his intelligence, and—to use a phrase Team Trump first popularized—whether prosecutors should “lock him up.”

These jokes ranged from the caustic to the crude. “I don’t think this is what they meant by Orange is the New Black,” read one post shared by a jury candidate’s husband around 2016 and which featured a photo of Trump and Barack Obama.

“Trump invites the Thai boys to the White House, and the boys request to return to their cave,” read a joke shared by another prospective juror, referring to the young soccer team rescued in Thailand in 2018.

welcome to hell, Donald. population: you.

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yesterday morning, the narcoleptic old fuck fell asleep again.

“as to Trump’s demeanor inside the court, his eyes are closed, he’s leaning to the left a little bit, quiet, his arms crossed as well.”

what America is now learning is that every morning of Donald Trump’s life is spent sleeping off the drug-fueled binges of the night before.

Now you see why Trump didn’t make it into the Oval Office until noon everyday. WH staff covered by calling it ‘executive time’. In reality it is called addiction & dysfunction. Trump is NOT fit to serve. Vote Blue.

P.S, this greasy mfker was just as unmanageable back in ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ days but NBC kept that part quiet cause he made them money.

sundowning in the evening, drug-addled and rage-tweeting at night, incapacitated in the morning — exactly the sort of befuddled old diaperload you want in possession of nuclear launch codes, am I right?

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during a recess, Donny Ratbrain took some time to whine in front of the cameras about how unfair everything is. right smack in the middle of his pity party, the silly dumb-ass also fucking confessed to his crime.

“I was paying a lawyer and marked it down as a legal expense. some accountant I didn’t know marked it down as a legal expense. that’s exactly what it was… so check it out. it’s called legal expense.”

you fool. paying your mob-fixer lawyer to dole out hush money to a porn actress, and marking it down as a legal expense is falsification of records. it’s business fraud. it’s what you’re on trial for — and and you just admitted it’s what you did.

oh my god, he’s so fucking stupid. how does this imbecile get the fork to his mouth without stabbing himself in the eye.