272 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

fun weird fact: I had a dream last night where I sat down at my laptop and typed the words "I'd like to play poker against Donald Trump," and I'd like to thank the universe for helping me write this post

Ruediger Wilke's avatar

Jeff, I hate to correct you, but where I live, you don't play poker against someone of a mindset under age 5.

RV maxima's avatar

But you do get to play marbles to take away his candy...

Ruediger Wilke's avatar

Sure, as a grown-up, you can always play marbles with a 5-year-old, and take away his candy, but if you do, be prepared for a meltdown in the parking lot, a full diaper load in your car, and a foot-stomping fit about how unfair everyone has been to him while he has always been the best at playing marbles, and then everything else for that matter, on your way home.

Morgan's avatar

Sounds just like that OrangeTwatMuffin

Ruediger Wilke's avatar

I get your drift, and I appreciate it, but to me OrangeTwatMuffin just sounds a little too forgiving.

Morgan's avatar

😂🤣😂 hot tea spewed!!

Deborah Starry's avatar

That's how Paul McCartney writes! Genius minds at work...

The Yuck Yuck Syndicate's avatar

I think I had the same dream last week. Huh?

George A. Polisner's avatar

I hope you are awesomely right Jeff “Record holder of most adjectives used in a sentence, ever” Tiedrich.

I cringe anytime a decision needs to be rendered by the Supremely Corrupted Court of the US.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I feel pretty confident it will be a 7-2 with only Alito and Thomas voting for Trump

MK's avatar

Yep, and Thomas who should recuse himself because of his wife's involvement in Jan 6 insurrection and trying to subvert the election, won't, fucking rat bastard.

Ray Berg's avatar

…by voting in favor of the orange idiot, Alito/Thomas will continue their shameful stain on the court.

Patris's avatar

And they’ve never shirked that internal (and blatant) call from the hell...

Sky 777's avatar

Your typing fingers to God’s inbox.

Kimberly Rorick's avatar

Definitely Thomas. Alito highly likely. I think Gorsuch may also be in the Alito & Thomas column. One of the most consequential decisions in our lifetime, which shouldn’t be.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Laid appropriately at the feet of Mitch McConnell and, regrettably, RBG.

James Starr's avatar

why, then oh why? does it seem like Thomas is the only one in the world escaping accountability now? Will he ever be investigated for his criminal activity? and if so which department of justice will punish him?

Marcus Case's avatar

But according to Thomas & Alito, Supreme Court Justices and former presidents are not accountble and above the law.

Chet Brandt's avatar

Those two mf’ers can kiss my law abiding ass!

wasatch's avatar

But they don't want to lose their own power. Rulong for the aspiring dictator puts their power at risk. They have their own agenda, and Trump isn't really part of it.

Steve B's avatar

If the Supreme Court wants to try and scrape together ANY reputational legacy, this vote better be 9-0, and Thomas should Ginni-recuse and make it 8-0, just like Nixon's tapes. Anyone voting for Trump's position here deserves to be completely ignored in the future. This is NOT a partisan issue, and SCOTUS shouldn't be doing that anyway, but we know who they are now, so...

antlisa1201's avatar

Lord I hope I hope I hope but it wouldn’t surprise me if the White Christian Supremacy Court goes against everything that’s true and right and let Diaper Don skate. I’m so outraged at their lying fuck-faces for overturning Roe that I will never be shocked by their evil deeds again. They will ban mifepristone next. Does anyone ever think Operation “Pelican Brief” Time? I do. ON another note is Jeff’s last name pronounced “Tie” as in neck tie or “teed” and is it “rich” as in money or “ Rick”? Like Teedrich or Tiedrick ?

Charlie Austin's avatar

So I'm not the only one that thinks about "Pelican Brief".

Morgan's avatar

Teedrich.. and you are spot on!

Julie Tallard Johnson's avatar

this will be a turning point in our democracy or the failing of it. Hope you are right.

Morgan's avatar

From your mouth to God’s ear Jeff!!

Mark L's avatar

Jeff

Don't you mean Collusion with Trump

Just saying...

Marcus Case's avatar

I agree with that vote. I would be interested in reading the desenting opinions of those two...if they have any, other than "just because".

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"because fuck you, that's why" is all they've got

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

That adjectival paragraph has doubled in length just this year. I'm guessing it'll grow by 40% in the next six months. Anyone taking the "under"?

George A. Polisner's avatar

I want Jeff tested for adjective-enhancing drugs.

Morgan's avatar

Wait there’s adjective enhancing drugs?!?

George A. Polisner's avatar

There are. And I’m still reading excruciatingly detailed descriptions of their side effects.

Steve's avatar

and cleverly done without commas as well. maybe it's a cocktail he's taking? :)

Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

It's truly fucking fabulous! And the longer it gets, the more I enjoy all the fuckery listed because it's true.

Tess's avatar

He’s the best run-on sentence writer there is!!

Nancy Neese's avatar

Nope, but I might take the “over!”

William Burke's avatar

I think you’ve gone about as low as a rational Gambler might go. With JT on the job this thing could double. I’m just wondering if it’ll hit an entire page on my iPad.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Yes, I followed The Price is Right guideline to stay under the likely total. It's a habit.

Sky 777's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂

SPW's avatar

I like winners so wouldn’t take the ‘under’ on a dare. Jeff is a marvelous wordsmith when it comes to the dumpster fire that is LDFF.

Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

IKR? I can't breath knowing they will ruling on medication abortion soon.

Patris's avatar

I cannot say ‘they can go fuck themselves’ more without my husband looking even more exasperated as I drown out the news..

Morgan's avatar

You and me both Patris.. if I watch one more Faux News report I might blow up the Big Screen..I hope to hell they bag and tag that MFKR

Charlie Austin's avatar

I recently spent $500 on a Visio TV. It's been difficult to keep from throwing a shoe at it. This morning, Joe Scarborough's talking head fest declared that Ukraine should negotiate with fucking Putin. FUCK THAT!!

George A. Polisner's avatar

JFK once said “We can’t negotiate with someone who says what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is negotiable.”

The only negotiation necessary is the economic package Russia will provide to rebuild what Putin destroyed (after Putin is sent to The Hague and Crimea is returned to Ukraine).

Charlie Austin's avatar

Absolutely. Fucking Richard Haas, of all people, was disseminating this line of hoseshit.

Patris's avatar

With you. Scarborough is unwatchable.

Charlie Austin's avatar

Their stances on the issues change with the prevailing winds.

Lisa's avatar

My husband won’t watch the news with me anymore!lol I cannot seem to contain my fucking rage these days!

Morgan's avatar

Ditto.. here too! I start yelling at the TV..

Morgan's avatar

The hubby looks at me and says.. You do know you’re yelling at the television.. I’m like, yeah the TV is stupid and the people on TV are stupid.. and his reply is: yeah, they can’t hear you and they can’t answer you.. Are you waiting for them to actually answer??? Then he pats me on the head like I’m a moron😂😵‍💫😂🤣😂 and says.. maybe you should sit down sweetie and take a load off and maybe take a nappy. Faaaaaccckkkk. He snickers and pats me on the head.🤭🤭🤭

Chet Brandt's avatar

My bride says the same things to me! No pat on the head— she simply calls me an asshole( lovingly) and says change the channel! Which I promptly reply: NO!

Patris's avatar

At which time mine usually gets a salute.

Mark L's avatar

Patris

Can you just see the PBS Frontline Documentary on this shit show?

IT will be month long special5

Linda Weide's avatar

Remember if the Supreme Court gives the go ahead to Trump, they do so to Biden too, who is the sitting president and could get up the day after and say, "I am going to play dictator for a day, and enact legislation to make all our problems go away." The first thing he should do is make sure that there is no pay for Congressional members who do not get the work done. Then, he should expand the Supreme Court by executive order.

George A. Polisner's avatar

I think I’d prefer he act to expand the court, impose a real ethical standard for the court (forcing Alito and Thomas’ removal), set aside any ruling by a corrupted court) and then retry. One party acting in an authoritarian capacity is one too many.

Linda Weide's avatar

Of course, but it would certainly show the Supreme Court what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Charlie Austin's avatar

There's a long list of executions; Trump, Bannon, etc.

Morgan's avatar

I would not be adverse to burning those asshats at the stake.. I’ll bring marshmallows graham crackers and chocolate and we can make s’mores .. Hey I’m multi tasking!

Steve's avatar

Is this kind of akin to how the Israelis feels towards Hamas? Because I can relate :) But eliminating the leader won't be adequate. This hydra needs a Hercules to "address" the problem.

Karen Krahl's avatar

Yeah, me too, as they have, to date, been pretty lousy at their jobs. Like never getting it right. This is too big to get it wrong.. However, Jack Smith is playing multi-dimensional chess like a champ, and the Supremes are still playing Candy Land, or Checkers at best. He’ll run circles around them for sure. While as usual, Jack’s gonna be wearing his poker face.

Michael1963's avatar

I’ve been lamenting how infrequently I get to see “fucknozzle” and “Diaperstain” used in a sentence, but you fixed that. Thanks!

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

I live in Canada and from here I can smell the sweet fragrance of retributive justice. Well done Mr. Smith and kudos to Mr. Tiedrich for the excellent summary of how the orange buffoon has all the cards stacked against him - finally. I’m not even waiting for the trial to start, I’m having myself a glass of bubbly.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Huzzah! When this nightmare has ended, let's have a continent-wide celebration of truth and justice!!

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

I’m with you on that suggestion. Maybe we can call it “Jack Smith’s Day of Truth”, to be celebrated annually on the anniversary of the orange buffoon’s incarceration.

Morgan's avatar

Carole that works for me 🙌🏽

Linda McCaughey's avatar

There will be block parties a-plenty and dancin' in the streets!!

Ruediger Wilke's avatar

When and if this nightmare has ended, many of us will probably have a world-wide celebration of truth and justice, and that's for sure. But what if it doesn't? And even if it does, what about the other half of the US population still backing him up? Just asking for a friend living in West Europe.

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

That portion of the population you refer to is what I worry about.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

There are always "what ifs" in every situation. I try not to consider them or give them any relevance--until I have to. Holding positive thought is empowering.

Ruediger Wilke's avatar

I was born in Germany, in 1959. While I was a child, people typicyally never talked about Word War II, and what had happened before it started. But not talking about something is also saying a lot, and it was quite obvious that almost everyone 15 years older than me was involved in things one way or the other during that time.

When I grew older, and was taught about all things WW II at school, I started asking questions in my family and the people around me, along the lines of "what did you do", and "why didn't you do something about it", a bit naively to admit in retrospect. The usual answer was something to the extent of "we never imagined it could turn out so bad in the end".

Just pointing this out, because, you are really and absolutely close to becoming a victim of authoritarianism, and your long-standing tradition as a democracy is at stake.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

I could not agree more. We are in a precarious place right now, and I think anyone who pays attention knows it. However, fear is paralyzing. We must not let fear of what may be keep us from doing what we can to prevent disaster. We can only affect what is in our power to do as citizens--no one I know is in a state of denial.

Chet Brandt's avatar

My father’s family is in the same boat as yours. Most came to the US before the start of WW2. Those who did not stayed in Eastern Europe and suffered the consequences— mostly from the Russians. As children, I was born in 1955, we were met with silence or the conversation turned to another language when we asked about family in then Czechoslovakia, Germany or Poland. Children “ were to be seen and not heard.” Many of the answers to those questions were never answered and those who knew took their secrets to the grave….

Steve's avatar

As a fellow Canadian, I'm terrified of the consequences we will suffer from a Trump presidency/autocracy. Given the level of protectionism and "America First"ism he and his buffoons ascribe to, he may decide to pull all US-based auto manufacturing out of Ontario. That would be economically catastrophic not only to Ontario but the country.

We could also be the Ukraine equivalent: whereby the US invades us for our resources. Who is going to come to our aid? NATO? LOL! They'll just acquiesce to the US to avoid a NATO/US conflict. Guess who loses in that scenario?

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

My sentiments also and I couldn’t have said this better. Thank you for providing fodder to this discussion.

Steve's avatar

I've even written to my (Conservative) MP about it suggesting we need not oy a Plan A, but B, C, and D. Guess what? No response. 🤬

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Doesn’t surprise me. My biggest fear if the orange menace is elected is his buddy Putin who’s wanted access to our great white north since he was elected. If Putin wants it, he’ll be given access by trump, no if and or but.

Steve's avatar

The people of Ukraine and Gaza, who were just going about their daily business, had their entire world turned upside down in an instant. So who is to be so naive to think that this can't happen to Canada - pipsqueak nation? We could easily be squeezed out between the two superpowers, divided up like chattel.

Extreme? Yes.

Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but this is also not outside the realm of possibility. Already people are saying Netanyahu is going to intentionally drag out this Israel/Hammas war to preserve his power.

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Netanyahu is as big a jerk as the orange menace. When you put Putin, Bibi, Trump, Viktor Orban and Xi Jinping in the same sentence, we’re talking about a coalition of dictators and wannabe dictators. And the world will have achieved its most politically insecure state than it ever was during WWII.

User's avatar
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Dec 14, 2023
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Steve's avatar

You make a very good point. I think that Trump will inevitably test the resolve of the military as to whether they side on tyranny, or democracy. I'm hopeful that enough will not blindly take erratic and persecutory orders to oppress their fellow Americans. And yes, a firing squad will definitely be in order.

Kay-El's avatar

🎶 Operator... can you help me delete these calls, I’m getting shafted and I just can’t take it. There’s something in my eye, you know it happens every time, when I think about the court that I thought would save me 🎶 Apologies to Jim Croce.

PS it’s the University of California Los Angeles

Cassandra Here's avatar

Glad you caught that. UCLA.

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Please add "flag-humping" to your hyphenated descriptors

Ann Anderson's avatar

Safe bet that Alito and Thomas will rule in Donnie's favor. Those luxury vacations don't take themselves.

Lamorindalinda's avatar

Okay, Donny Diaperstain is my new favorite moniker. By the way, if the conservative SCOTUS happens to rule in Donny Diaperstain’s favor, then if Biden loses in 2024, he can overturn the results of the election and remain president. Because, presumably, presidents will now be above the law.

On another note. Jeff, you are a nation treasure.

Charlie Austin's avatar

Combover Caligula. (Stole it from John Fugelsang)

Lamorindalinda's avatar

Too funny…and apropos !!

Openly Fae's avatar

Ah there's Jack's pic again with that huge "my schlong regularly bruises my knees" energy.

Morgan's avatar

😂🤣😂fuck that was funny!!

RV maxima's avatar

Better than that scowl, "I keep sitting on my empty nutsack" look from the narcissistic sociopath, Trump.

Marcie Holloway's avatar

Wow…well said. Let’s just all hope this excuse for a human gets behind bars and no link to social media in 2024. I am so sick of him and his cult followers

bluesyfish's avatar

I'm afraid to acknowledge this most tiny little sliver of hope......

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Dec 13, 2023
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Ruth A James's avatar

I am reading this as former House Speaker Paul Ryan just was on Ari and stated that tfg IS an Authorian. People are coming out of the woodwork, yes.... Late..but hey... better now than NEVER. IMHO I do not see how the Supreme Court cannot rule against this. So yet more and more tension is going to happen. Bring it on all you Fools (those that won’t admit they are!!!) ( and those who want to cram yet another of their religious views on US! ) [SPEAKING OF Mike Johnson/MTG and other who tout National religious BS)

We are in this together and I don’t care if you have a God or not.... I am thanking my God right now, cause I have been praying for him to protect us and let right be right. (I apologize bringing religion into this myself, I believe full stop that is is personal...and it IS. Unless someone starts cramming it down our throats and thinks they are going to tell US what we MUST believe. Sorry to my people here.🥰🇺🇸🎄

Tama2U's avatar

The vision of Jack Smith saying to tffg ‘no you won’t Fucknozzle...’ is truly orbital! And tffg spit-sputtering ‘I know you are but what am I’ as he goes from orange to vein-popping red is bringing me more joy than is probably legal! Merry Christmas you losing loser fucknozzle 🎄😂

MountainBoyMike's avatar

I love this, and I hope you're right, and I hope that SCOTUS does the right thing here - ya know, upholding our laws and respecting Constitutional law - I mean, it's just their fucking jobs to do this, so all they have to do is what they are seated to do...but I don't fully trust them, so until it's official, I got fingers and toes crossed!!!

Morgan's avatar

You and me both Mike.. if this Diaperedtwatmuffinfucktardreject gets a pass.. I’m gonna lose my shit (not literally folks)

MountainBoyMike's avatar

I don't think Jack Smith would have done this unless it was a veritable "slam dunk"...and I think bringing it to light as he did, puts SCOTUS under a spotlight in front of the entire world and they almost have no choice but to follow the rule of law here...this guy is no one to be fucked with!!!...I hope I'm right, or the guy next to you "losing his shit" will be me!!!

Charlie Austin's avatar

You'll respond with a frightening descriptive adjective stream.

Morgan's avatar

Hey Charlie!! Yup me and my adjectives! Gonna wish you a very happy holiday my friend. Just finished with my dentist.. I’m all numbed up.. and half my face is droopy 🤤I think he numbed my left eyeball too

Charlie Austin's avatar

Sounds like you had a fun day.

Geoff Anderson's avatar

Damn, another great read from Jeff!

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

The hustle to find more lawyers hath begun, I imagine. Stir it up.

RV maxima's avatar

Big Spoon time for sure!

un poco loco's avatar

Not that there's any shortage of talent among the people who are prosecuting Trump, but I do appreciate a prosecutor who is proficient at 3D chess while Trump is still playing tiddly-winks.