Donald Trump is a stumblefuck idiot who can’t stop obstructing justice and confessing to crimes

keep it up, Donny. confess yourself straight the fuck into prison.

the name Molly Michael may be unfamiliar to you now, but you’ll be hearing more and more about her as Donald Trump sinks deeper and deeper into a legal hell of his own making.

because holy shit, Molly is a patriot.

identified in the classified document indictment papers as “Trump employee number two,” Molly Michael was a long-time assistant to Donald Trump.

in that dipshit sharpie scrawl of his, Trump would give Molly handwritten to-do lists. that’s all well and good, but Molly began to notice something weird about the lists — she turned one over and discovered that it was written on the back of a classified document — as were all of the to-do lists Trump had given her.

what the fuck, Molly wondered.

she soon realized that Trump’s vermin-infested Florida golf motel was littered with boxes and boxes of stolen classified documents.

this right here is some fucked up bullshit, she said to herself, and decided to start taking photographs.

you’ve already seen some of these snapshots. here’s one of them:

that’s right — we have Molly to thank for the legendary photo of the unspeakably ugly shitter packed to the gills with stolen war plans.

the story gets better. the day after the FBI searched Mar-a-Lago and confiscated cartons upon cartons of purloined papers, Molly returned to her office, sat down at her desk and noticed that she still had a drawerful of scrawled-on classified to-do lists.

so she called the FBI and was all yo my dudes, there’s more shit you overlooked, and sent the to-do lists over to the feds that same day.

I told you that Molly Michael is a patriot.

oh, and when word got to Trump that the FBI was interested in talking to Molly, he had this charming bit of advice for her:

“you don’t know anything about the boxes.”

isn’t that cute? what an irrepressible scamp. just like the shitty mob boss that Trump has always imagined himself to be.

I’ll bet Jack Smith jumped for joy when he heard that. witness-tampering and obstruction of justice, anyone?

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meanwhile, after I posted yesterday’s piece about NBC’s awful decision to air an “interview” with Trump, many commenters pointed out the obvious silver lining: Little Donny Fuckface can’t stop confessing to his crimes, and had done it again during the “interview.”

and indeed you are all correct, Trump absolutely did confess the fuck out of that “interview.”

here’s lawyer and law professor Neal Kaytal, on MSNBC’s Inside with Jen Psaki:

Donald Trump’s defense to January 6 has been one basic thing, which is, “I relied on the advice of my lawyers. I didn’t have bad criminal intent. It’s my lawyers who were telling me to do this.” And she got him, through masterful interviewing and playing to his ego, to say, “Oh, no, I did it all myself.” 

And if you’re Jack Smith this morning, you’re going, “Thank you, that’s what I always thought, and yes, you hired these kind of cockamamie crazy lawyers, but at the end of the day, this was you, through and through.” This demonstrates his culpability right there and then, and I think makes this case that Judge Chutkan has going to trial on March 4 a lot easier.

and the hits just keep on coming. over at Salon, Heather Digby Parton points out that Trump also fucked himself royally during last week’s appearance on Megyn Kelly’s show:

It started with an interview with Megyn Kelly for her Sirius XM show last Thursday, the first since shortly after Trump crudely insulted her back in 2015 during the first presidential primary debate. Trump seemed to expect a friendly, Fox-like, interview and she gave him plenty of softballs and expressed her agreement with much of his nonsense. But she did ask some probing questions about his legal troubles and once again he more or less confessed to his crimes. He must have said the words “Presidential Records Act” a dozen times, reiterating over and over that he had every right to take any document he chose. And he slipped up continuously, providing the prosecution plenty of fodder.

keep it up, Donny. confess yourself straight the fuck into prison. you’ll finally be doing a service for your country.