Donald Trump and Mark Meadows both had a shitty day in court. boo fucking hoo

also in deep doody is Rudy Colludy

Mark Meadows, as I have written before, is the poster boy for the entitled male dipshit.

he’s too busy — he’s too goddamned important, son — to be held accountable for stupid little things like crimes.

Mark Meadows is one of these smug tiresome fucks who always thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room, always one step ahead, always winning at eleven-dimensional chess against the smoothbrains dumb enough to take him on.

which is why it’s so super fucking satisfying to once again watch him get smacked down by judges.

to catch you up, here’s what I wrote last August 23:

Meadows wants his case moved to federal court where he thinks his my crimes aren’t really crimes strategy will have a better chance of success (spoiler alert: nah, bro), and so he wants [Fulton County District Attorney] Willis to give him a free pass on Friday’s booking deadline.

Meadows’s lawyer drafted a letter to Willis explaining the whole crimes aren’t really crimes thing and please excuse my client, because he thinks this whole thing is bullshit and he really doesn’t want to come to Atlanta right now and you won’t mind if he doesn’t show up until maybe next week, will you?

Willis’s reply was short and oh so very sweet:

“yours in service” — holy shit, I love that. that’s going to be my fuck-you line for the rest of my life.

four months have passed, and the 11th Circuit Court has now ruled on Marky Med’s whole “please move this stupid case to a federal court, and give me a compliant judge while you’re at it” thing, and guess what: all three judges just unanimously yours-in-serviced the living fuck out of Meadows.

A federal appeals court panel on Monday rejected an effort by Mark Meadows, a White House chief of staff under former President Donald J. Trump, to move a Georgia election interference case against him to federal court.

The decision was made by judges from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit in Atlanta. Mr. Meadows and Mr. Trump were among 19 defendants charged in August with racketeering and other crimes related to their efforts to reverse the outcome of the 2020 presidential election.

too bad, so sad. get your ass to Atlanta, bro.

this ruling doesn’t just fuck Mark Meadow’s shit, it also fucks Oil Spill Lawyer Jeffrey Clark’s shit, and even Donald Trump’s.

And in the context of removal, the 11th Circuit ruled the statute doesn’t protect former officials in any event. This ruling also spells game over for former DOJ employee Jeff Clark, and ends any possibility of defendants resolving their cases outside of Fulton County.

Clark and Trump can forget all about having their own cases moved to federal court. see you in Atlanta, my dudes!

and we know these honchos are all going to have to stand trial, because Fani Willis has already stated that she has no intention of offering plea deals to any of the Big Georgia Election Fuckery ringleaders.

yours in service!

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meanwhile, up in New York City, our old pal Judge Engoron was doing a little yours-in-servicing of his own.

the issue is that Little Donny Fuckface won’t stop pestering the judge to just, y’know, drop the whole “prosecute me and my larcenous family for fraud” thing and let bygones be bygones.

For at least the fifth time, former President Donald Trump on Monday lost an attempt to dismiss his civil fraud case through a maneuver seeking a directed verdict in his favor.

five times! this guy just won’t quit. what’s that old saying about insanity being doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result?

here’s the gist of Trump’s most-recent attempt at dismissal:

Two of Trump's experts in particular, Jason Flemmons and Eli Bartov, argued that valuations are inherently subjective, and Engoron sharply criticized their testimony exculpating Trump, his family members and business associates of wrongdoing.

booyah, Judge — my expert witness says I did nothing wrong!

not so fast, countered Engoron, you fucking paid this guy to make shit up.

“Bartov is a tenured professor, but all that his testimony proves is that for a million or so dollars, some experts will say whatever you want them to say,” Engoron wrote.

A research professor at New York University's Stern School of Business, Bartov conceded that he billed nearly $877,500 to Trump for his testimony, and he said that money came from the Trump Organization and Save America PAC, the former president’s primary fundraising vehicle.

Judge Engoron is absolutely right here. slip someone enough cash, and they’ll pretty much say anything you want.

isn’t that right, Clarence Thomas?

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when last we saw Rudy Giuliani, he was on the losing end of the $148 million dollar defamation suit brought by Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss.

you’ll recall that all during last week’s trial, Colludy never stopped defaming Freeman and Moss — even when it was over, America’s Drunk and Disgraced Mayor would not stop lying about the two.

Rudy should have kept his stupid mouth shut, because Ruby and Shaye have responded with a little yours-in-servicing of their own.

Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, the two Georgia election workers who won a nearly $150 million verdict against Rudy Giuliani for defamation on Friday, have sued him again, asking a federal judge to permanently prohibit him from lying about them.

The lawsuit comes as Giuliani has continued to make false statements about their work as absentee ballot counters in the 2020 election.

you’ll never guess how Rudy reacted to the news.

no, actually you will absolutely guess how, because Giuliani did the most predictably stupid and self-destructive thing imaginable — he went on Newsmax last night and did a little more defaming.

The former Donald Trump attorney doubled down on his election fraud nonsense on Newsmax Monday, days after two Georgia election workers, Ruby Freeman and Wandrea “Shaye” Moss, won a $148 million defamation verdict against him.

fast forward to a couple of years from now, when Rudy will still be defaming Freeman and Moss while showing off his latest prison tattoos to his cellmates.

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as I wrote last August:

for these clowns, there are really only two paths forward at this point: there’s fuck around and find out, and there’s fuck around and find out the hard way.

yours in service!

it was true then, and it’s even truer now.