396 Comments

fun fact: in the first draft, it was Severe Head Trauma Jesus

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I think that would have worked too. It’s long been obvious that Donny was dropped on his head as a baby.

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here's a thing I once said about Don Jr: "it's like Dunning and Kruger had a baby, and then dropped it on its head"

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A turdeken of accurate reportage in that line.

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Hahahahaha!!

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Speaking of Jr, I just read Ron Filipkowski’s Substack for Meidas Touch that Jr and Kimberly Gilfoyle have split. She had all that plastic surgery done for nothing. On top of that, apparently trmp will be appointing her as Ambassador to Greece. . Lord god, the mess he’s making of this country!

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Dunning AND Kruger? In this economy?

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Hahahahaha!

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I remember that, it was perfect!

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Hey, I was dropped on my head as a baby...look, there's a chicken!...and I turned out fine.

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I prefer drop-kicked through the Goalposts of Life.

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And maybe kicked around the room a coupla times....

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Repeatedly

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Many times!

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Several times too.

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It may be time for you to think about selling merch. You have your own brand of quips and quotes, and I am here for it. Who else writes phrases like,"fire-hose of five-alarm fucknuttery"? What an awesome v-neck t-shirt would that be? OTOH, take Bill Watterson who refused all offers to license Calvin & Hobbes to preserve the subtleties and integrity of his work by keeping it only in the strip. That seems like a righteous mindset or a missed opportunity to make millions annually or both. If you do go the mugs and t-shirt route, you will have at least one customer. If you have already done it, we need links.

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I’m keeping a list and so far we have Jesus Christ on a cracker, a crab cake, a deep fried crustacean, on a crankshaft, my personal favorite — Jesus Ketamine Christ — and today’s wonderful tidbit, In the Hallowed Name of Massive Head Wound Jesus. These make my day, for some reason!

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I’m rather partial to Christ on a catamaran.

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Adding this one to my list!

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Christ on a Pogo Stick

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The visual here made me drop the phone the first time I heard it - I was laughing so hard. I start laughing again just thinking about it.

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Adding this one also!

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XKetamine Christ FTW

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All of them crack me the hell right up

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I want a poster that has the most reject adjective-laden paragraph about the elderly golfer.

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I'm nor sure why reject is up there.

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auto correct for recent?

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There's nothing like AI. You not only have to proofread for your typos, you have to proofread for its errors. It's not made for people writing with intelligence.

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True dat Ellen!!

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Yes

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Agolf shitler?

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I’m in for a full set of mugs for the college I teach at: in the Broadcast dept, no less! Jeff, let’s do this! And thanks to Cheri!!!

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I so agree...I will be a customer too.

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I still wonder if Herr Stephen Miller Goebbles set that whole thing up. I can imagine a specially sharpened and cut thumbnail snagging a hole in that ear. No bullet required.

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Nah ,blood bag behind the ear. He slapped himself hard. Wish I could have done it for him- he’d have needed more than a maxi pad on an invisible injury.

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Like

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Someone WAS shooting live ammo. There's a dead bystander.

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100% agreed!

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Please refer to him here by the Tiedrich nickname, Nosferatu McGoebbels™.

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It has been suggested that with Donnie's WWE connections, the ear job was done by a razor.

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Blood pod, crushed when he grabbed his head

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It was obviously a set-up, in my opinion. I don't think the Orange Thing knew about it because that would have spoiled the surprise. Too bad the shooter missed.

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Had to be shrapnel, if a fully copper jacketed 223 grained AR bullet had hit, his ear would of disintegrated completely, since it's basically cartilage. I believe Director Wray had it correct in the first place and can't really blame him for wanting to leave. Plus you know cheeto boy would of just skipped conformation and apointed Patel as deputy director and then fired Wray. Maybe this way we can stop some of the madness 😠.

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If was plastic fragments from the shattered lectern that cut fat boys ear.

No bullet ever touched little Donnie Two Scoops

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Holding up a mirror to the fool as he pulls his pants down and shows his ass doesn't have much effect. On him or his followers. They just pull their pants down in solidarity.

What might be effective is the Not Stupids to coordinate to work around the idiots. (See Kornbluth's story Marching Morons.) The Deep State (competent government workers) must become even more effective. For example, DeJoy and the Postal Service. He's tried to fuck up the service but the postal workers are doing their best to deliver the mail. Same with all the other departments Donnie tries to destroy. Even the MAGAs have manners and courtesy and have pride in their jobs.

LSMFT

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As a result of discussions with my postal carrier over the years, I've considered that Trump's plan is to privatize mail delivery and hand it to Amazon. Bezos kissing the ring moves that possibility forward in my mind.

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Seeing as how Amazon uses the USPS for 'last mile' delivery, I can't see that happening.

Also, the Postal Service is established in the Constitution as one of the duties of Congress. Article I, Section 8: "The Congress shall have Power To establish Post Offices and post Roads"

Also, the USPS is mandated to deliver the mail to every address, no matter how remote. No for profit business could ever take that on. They'd lose a bundle.

Oh wait.

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lol yeah. In the pile of shit that is DeJoy I choose to believe there's a pony in there somewhere... perhaps for my very own pony express.

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Interesting idea, but I'm not sure Bezos would even want to take it on...especially since they're unionized.

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I think the union would go away once the USP is sold into private hands.

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Yes, that's what I think, Mike Phelan.

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Paula Dean, I hadn't even considered that so thanks for bringing it up. My pessimistic side whispers the dehumanized incoming administration would love to deunionize but I'll try to believe it won't come to that.

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"They just pull their pants down in solidarity."

You say that as though they would wear diapers in solidarity. Oh, wait a minute…

WHY has Biden left DeJoy in the post office?

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Because Biden can’t fire him. Only the Board of governors can, and the GOP is holding up the appointments of Biden’s nominees.

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Thanks, good to know.

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Maybe DeJoy has an unbreakable contract?

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yes, WHY

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On Biden's election I had looked fwd to DeJoy's expulsion...why was he kept on...

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Likely already explained… fact is Biden can’t!

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Only the board of governors can fire him, and it's political so Biden nominated 2 or 3 positions that would tilt numbers in his favor but they aren't confirmed yet...🙄

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I thought we had a 1 vote majority in the Senate With Harris?? Is this another Manchin/Sinema hold up?

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It's probably the committee that does it, Dems don't hold any chairs, then they send to Senate? I'm guessing tbh

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I don’t know the numbers but it has to do with Congress. It’s not under Bidens control. My full memory has not returned yet from my bout with Sepsis last year. Maybe someone else knows what it is called.

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Only the Board of Governors can fire him. Biden’s nominees have been blocked by the GOP, or else he would have been gone.

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Thanks Sharon! I’m glad you stepped up

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Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco? I’m behind the 8 Ball on what that means in today’s world of politics

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Lord Save Me From Trump

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JFC Jeff, the interview with Welker then his reaction after.. as I said JFC. That guy is lost in the wilderness imagining Welker interviewed Biden… Thanks for pointing out his lack of ANYTHING that any normal person could respond to… no wonder Mel slaps his hand away..he doesn’t know anything about anything. 😂😂

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She didn't want him grabbing her genitalia in public.

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I guess that action wasn't in the contract?

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🤣😂🤣👏👏

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I gotta put this phrase on the Wall of Fame:

Donny’s brain is out where the buses don’t run

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Severe Head Trauma is good, but Severe Head Wound Jesus made me giggle out loud!

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Massive Head Wound Jesus immediately brought to mind a crown of thorns replete with dripping blood—and I’m not a Catholic! Good job with the imagery.

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Well, Dumbass does think he’s the victim since the Democrats are always out to get him.

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I say “well dug” to both Jeff!

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I already despise Trump but it bothers me no end when he makes insulting jones about Canada. First it was the big faucet, now he’s talking about Canada being a state and Trudeau being its governor. Trudeau has more knowledge and class in his baby finger than the entire Trump clan. And I hope Canada sticks to its principles and continues to bar convicted felons from entering the country.

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Don't you remember that picture of Melania giving Trudeau an air kiss with Trump standing right next to her? I've NEVER seen her look at Diaper Don the way she looked at Justin. Even when she was dating the loser. August, 2019. She had on a red dress. Just Google her name and Trudeau's. Trump is an extremely insecure moron and how much of him dumping on Canada now has to do with Trudeau and the look his wife gave him (Trudeau). I bet Trump can't stand the way his pretty wife looked at a handsome man and it sure wasn't his ugly ass she was looking at. You know how men can be when they are threatened by another man.................................

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She looked like she wanted a lot more than a smile ! She made her bed when she married rump and she’s been stuffing the mattress ever since.

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She REALLY expected to be a merry widow by now, if not decades ago.

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May she get her wish for Christmas!

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On that quest, I support Melanie* wholeheartedly.

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More shocking news from the state of Canada 🇨🇦.

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Who could blame Melanoma - Justin is such a hunk!

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As a Canadian, I would have absolutely no problem telling that disrespectful, moronic Orange Wanker to fuck straight off. To his disgusting face. Ditto any of his equally moronic supporters. That daft beggar and his unqualified, day-drunk asskissers couldn't find Ottawa on a map with both hands and a flashlight.

Here’s the sad thing. While Trudeau has stayed above the fray, we have Pierre Poillievre, leader of the Conservative Party, waiting in the wings. This obsequious, whinging little twat is like a very lite version of Trump. And many Canadians believe his “Canada is broken” or recycled slogans like “Axe the tax” rhetoric. He is playing directly from Trump’s playbook. Like Trump, the Conservatives have many concepts and slogans but very little in the way of policies. But people are buying into it. Not as overtly as the MAGAs.

I voted Conservative until the last election. I already told my Member of Parliament (MP) I won’t be voting for him. A vote for my MP, whom I actually like, is a vote for Poillievre. But next year, Trump will likely have a spineless “governor” as PM. It won't be good for us, and it may not be good for you either.

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I’m a Canadian too, and I also despise Poilievre. He wants to be the PM of a country he seemingly doesn’t like at all - he never has a positive thing to say about Canada and he can’t open his mouth without blaming Trudeau for something. Empty slogans and a smarmy personality are all he has.

I’d suggest that Poilievre move to the US to be with his idol Trump - but that would be cruel to Americans.

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And we thank you for that... Trump and his not-so-merry band of lickspittles, loyalists, idiots and smirking goombahs are more than enough to have to deal with.

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It’s almost as if they wake up every day and wonder how they can leave this country worse off than it was when they were (surprisingly) elected. There’s really no other explanation for this behaviour.

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Oh! That's what the tariffs on Canada are about!! He's trying to tank the Canadian econ so Trudeau will lose and 45 will get to run roughshod with the next PM instead of over the current PM. It was totally a hurry down here to motel a Lago and beg for your job tweet. Fucking wanker. God what if all the world leaders just stopped responding to his fucking tweets.

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Putin playbook

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Putin has wanted access to our great white north since he was elected, and someone close to Putin has planted this in the moron’s ear, if not Putin himself. If he thinks that we’re going to give up our universal healthcare, our negotiated drug program, educational standards and our liberal laws especially on women’s healthcare in favor of America’s they are both seriously demented. He’ll find out quickly that we’re not that polite!

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Lisa, in 68 years I have heard only positive, good things about our Canadian friends. Family spent at least two beautiful vacays there. elderly insane golfer's insults to Prime Minister Trudeau are like a rabid dog bite. It's not about person bitten, it's what rabid dogs do. Imo PM Trudeau's trip to FL was a selfless act of patriotism. Visit, be kind, but not a pushover. Put his pride behind to protect his country from being bitten by an insane rabid dog. Much love and respect from California. 🇨🇦

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❤️ Thanks Teri! My entire family on my mum’s side lives in California!

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Elderly golfer can't remember the differences between a country and a US state, a Prime Minister and a Governor. I'm predicting he makes a similar gaff with Mexico, Norway, Greenland -- which he will likely want to annex again. What. An. Idiot.

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He won't dare after Mexico's female President handed him his ass over tariffs.

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About elderly insane golfer's calling Canada a "state" & referring to PM Trudeau as a "Gov.": My #1 wish is seeing inane golfer thrown into a 50 foot small hole in the ground. No phone or wifi -- no bed. Insane traitor regularly misnames the cities or states he is in. Recently, the crowd called out the city's correct name. As far back as 2018 when touring fire damage he called our CA town "Pleasure". Then-Gov. Jerry Brown and Gov.-Elect Gavin Newsome, in unison standing behind him loudly said "Paradise"! He also recently called to the rally stage "the "hot female singer" by name ... it was a guy. So he does have rats eating his brain wires. 🇨🇦

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I wish the rats would speed it up.

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🧨🧨🧨🧨 DON'T MISS THIS!!! 💥💥💥💥💥

Here's a great cartoon by a great Canadian cartoonist that responds to trumps latest insult.

https://deadder.substack.com/p/the-media

Trump's mouth is an awesome weapon. It will destroy a healthy brain. But fortunately he doesn't know how to use any other weapon. Remember infrastructure week. Remember concepts of a health plan. Bla bla bla. For more, see:

https://kathleenweber.substack.com/p/the-mouth-that-roars

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Michael de Adder is terrific. I