demented dipshit Donald Trump babbles about “perfectly handsome” pilots

Donny keeps fixating on bizarre shit

the correct answer to the question “what is wrong with Donald Trump?” is “how much time do you have?”

you know that Donny is a burst trash bag of personality defects and pathologies — anything that could possibly go wrong inside a person, has profoundly gone wrong inside Trump. he just might be the most thoroughly broken-inside person who ever lived.

as I have written before,

Little Donny Fuckface is what would happen if the seven Deadly Sins became a real boy. let’s run through the list: pride — yup. greed — you betcha. lust — just ask Ivanka. envy — no shit. gluttony — have you seen his waistline? wrath — ducked any ketchup bottles lately? sloth — the lazy fuck drives his golf cart right up onto the green.

but in addition to being a quadrice-indicted twice-impeached once-convicted popular-vote-losing adderall-huffing insurrection-leading testimony-ducking judge-threatening lawyer-ignoring witness-tampering day-one-dictatoring disabled-veteran-dishonoring inheritance-squandering rube-fleecing clown-makeup-smearing language-mangling serial-sexual-predating draft-dodging casino-bankrupting butler-bullying daughter-perving hush-money-paying real-estate-scamming bone-spur-faking ketchup-hurling justice-obstructing classified-war-plan-thieving golf-cheating weather-map-defacing horse-paste-promoting paper-towel-flinging race-baiting tax-evading evidence-destroying charity-defrauding money-laundering diaper-filling 88-count fluorescent tangerine felony factory, Donald Trump is a fucking bizarro.

strip away all the pomp and circumstance, all the criminality and pathology — even take away the dementia — and Donny would still be the batshittiest person you’ve ever met — because he fixates on truly strange stuff that no normal person thinks about.

In an interview with podcaster and internet star Logan Paul, Donald Trump shared some strange takes on UFOs, revealing that “handsome, perfect” pilots keyed him into the possibility of extraterrestrial life.

“I met with pilots, like beautiful Tom Cruise but taller. Handsome, perfect people,” he told Paul on his “Impulsive” podcast, sharing that the pilots told him, “Sir, there was something there that was round in form and going, like, four times faster than my super jet fighter plane.” 

hello, what? handsome, perfect pilots?

first of all, this one of Donny’s “sir story” — which means that none of it happened. any tale that begins with someone calling Trump “sir” is your clue that everything oozing out of Donny’s rotting anus-mouth is a lie.

Trump didn’t talk to any pilots, and these imaginary pilots didn’t tell him about any UFOs.

but holy shit — the embellishment. “beautiful like Tom Cruise but taller.” Donny can’t just tell you that he was talking to some pilots. no, he has to turn the bullshit dial up way past eleven.

Donny’s so desperate for approval that he can’t just make up a story about any old pilots. they have to be the goddamned best fucking pilots ever — but to prove they’re the best, does Donny tell you how competent they are? no, he blithers on about how handsome and tall the pilots are — because Donny is a shallow idiot, and appearance is all he cares about.

it’s how he picks the people he hires, whether it’s a parking garage lawyer or an attorney general. they have to look good on TV, like they’re “straight out of central casting.”

Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants continues his strange obsession with … batteries.

“they want to make them now electric, so that when you go into enemy territory, and you obliterate the enemy and you knock down and those tanks are firing, you do it in an environmentally-friendly way. the problem with the army tanks, like cars and like trucks, the problem is that you have to bring a battery pack along. you have to pull it, like a little wagon, like a child pulls a wagon. so they want to build an army tank, but you know the battery is very big and very heavy, much heavier than a thing called diesel, much heavier than diesel fuel, and you gotta see this tank. it’s like a wagon and there’s a big thing that is pulling in the back, and even with that it doesn’t go far and lots of bad things happen like it doesn’t take cold weather very well and it’s really bad in heat.”

army tanks with batteries on wagons? bro, where are you getting this information? was it a tank driver? did he call you sir? were tears of gratitude running down his cheeks as he told you of the sheer hell of being forced to pull a battery on a cart in the middle of combat? was he impossibly handsome — like John Wayne, but less of a drunk racist asshole?

hey, but at least Donny didn’t claim there were sharks on the tanks — not yet, anyway, but give it time. by the fiftieth retelling of this bullshit story, we’re going to be hearing about how the Twelfth Tank Battalion bravely defeated a platoon of enemy sharks.

by the way, this “electric tank” story isn’t true.

The military currently has no plans for all-electric tanks.

The military is moving toward the electrification of its vehicle fleets, starting with light-duty, non-tactical vehicles, citing not only environmental benefits but cost savings and operational advantages. As part of the military’s Climate Strategy released in 2022, the military also aspires to move to fully electric tactical vehicles by 2050. But even that doesn’t include combat vehicles such as tanks.

but facts don’t stop Donny from shitting out these delusions over and over.

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oh look, it’s a brand-new week, and we have a brand-new journalistic war crime from The New York Times.

Biden Campaign Ad Paints Trump as a Felon

Democrats have been urging the president to more forcefully attack Donald Trump after his felony conviction by a New York jury.

look at what the Times is doing here. they’ve worded their headline to imply that the Biden campaign is doing something underhanded. they’re “painting” Trump as a felon — as if that were an unfair accusation. you know, much the way the Times “paints” Joe Biden as a “frail old man.”

fuck straight off, New York Times. pointing out that convicted felon Donald Trump is a convicted felon isn’t “painting” Trump as anything — it’s telling the truth.

telling the truth is something The New York Times might want to try. right now — in the middle of an election season where democracy is at stake — would be a good time to start.