Comer Fudd and Half-Dressed Jimmy are vowing to ‘lock Biden up’ — have fun with that, morons

yeah, that’ll work

you have to wonder if Hog Romancin’ Jimmy Comer spreads rakes around his bed at night, so he can wake up in the morning and get right to work humiliating himself.

who the fuck knows what shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jimmy Jordan does to prepare himself for the humiliations to come. maybe he dresses like the Gimp from Pulp Fiction.

the Jimmys are caught up in a Big Sad right now, because Little Donny Fuckface keeps screaming at them to TAKE DOWN JOE BIDEN GODDAMMIT — but everything these clowns cook up fails miserably.

they tried impeaching Biden. their first star witness turned out to be a Chinese spy. he’s on the lam, a fugitive from justice. no one has a fucking clue where he is. their second star witness turned out to be a Russian spy. he’s currently being held without bail.

and so they launched an investigation into figuring out just how old Biden is. that one blew up all to fuck, too — because their star witness, MAGA operative Robert Hur, turned out to be a partisan hack who curled up into the fetal position upon having his vicious lies exposed.

everyone just pointed at the Jimmys and laughed.

but these dummies just don’t know when to quit — and so they’ve got a whole new plan, one that this time can’t miss. it goes like this:

they’re gonna lock Joe Biden up.

no, seriously.

the Jimmys are going to take all that yadda-yadda about Burisma and car loans and canceled checks and phone calls and Hunter Biden’s freakishly enormous trouser hog — all the crap they’ve been droning on about for three years running — and they’re going to repackage it as a criminal referral.

I shit you not.

In recent weeks, a political and factual reality has set in on Capitol Hill. Despite their subpoenas and depositions, House Republicans have been unable to produce any solid evidence of wrongdoing by Mr. Biden and lack the votes in their own party to charge him with high crimes and misdemeanors, the constitutional standard for impeachment.

Instead, top G.O.P. lawmakers have begun strategizing about making criminal referrals against Mr. Biden, members of his family and his associates, essentially sending letters to the Justice Department urging prosecutors to investigate specific crimes they believe may have been committed.

yeah, that’ll work. they’re going to walk that criminal referral over to Merrick Garland — and, after he eventually tires himself out from laughing, he’s going to wad it up and toss it in the nearest trash can — and then what?

then I guess Comer Fudd and Half-Dressed Jimmy go on Hannity to sputter and whine about the deep state cover-up protecting Sleepy Brandon.

and then — again — everyone will point and laugh — because absolutely no one gives a shit any more. even the Jimmys’ own party has lost patience with The Clownshoes Assholes Who Never Stop Crying Wolf.

Despite drumbeating for more than a year to impeach Joe Biden, House Republicans have quietly begun looking for an off-ramp in the face of an overwhelming lack of evidence against the president—and a rapidly shrinking majority in the chamber.

but don’t expect the Jimmys to give up. after this, it will be on to the next hare-brained scheme — because it’s either that, or go back to ducking the Motel-a-Lago ketchup bottles being hurled at their heads. and that shit gets old, fast.

---

I mentioned yesterday how Trump’s “bloodbath” rhetoric was so over the top that the mainstream media actually sat up and took notice.

well, the screech monkeys of the wingnut outrage-industrial complex are desperately trying to change the narrative from “Trump said scary shit again” to “that’s not what Trump meant” — and also “this is going to backfire on you libs.”

here’s Jonah Goldberg:

don’t understand how some folks don’t understand that distorting the “bloodbath” thing helps Trump. It bolsters the spin from Trumpers that *all* of his indefensible utterances are distorted by media. The election will be decided by folks susceptible to those defenses.

oh fuck you. you nitwits have been trying to force “this will only help Trump” down our throats for eight years. enough already.

remember in 2016, after the email lady called Trump supporters a “basket of deplorables”? the noise machine wanted us to believe that a bunch of racist yahoos were all set to vote for Hillary — but then she called them deplorable, and they switched their votes to Trump.

yeah, serve me up another steaming mug of it never fucking happened.

and how many times did we hear that impeaching Trump would only serve to guarantee his re-election?

A Trump impeachment would guarantee the president’s re-election, according to political expert Jeanne Zaino.

Taking on the party’s leadership in a new episode of Fox Nation’s “Deep Dive,'“ Zaino called the impeachment push “dangerous” and warned of potential ramifications for Democrats heading into 2020.

remind me, how did that work out for Mr. One Term Two Impeachments?

enough with the gaslighting.

stop trying to make this will only help Trump happen. it’s never going to happen.

---

oh look, here’s Bargain Basement Hitler caught unawares on a hot mic, telling us once again who he is.

toady: “are we close to seeing Mr. Kim here at the White House?”
Trump: “uhhhh it could happen. I think it’s something that could happen. hey, [Kim Jong-un is] the head of a country, and I mean, he’s the strong head. don’t let anyone think anything different. he speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”

piss up a rope, Day One Dipshit. fuck all the way off. we’re not your people, and we’re never going to sit up at attention.

it’s an old clip that surfaced again yesterday — it dates back to mid-Trump administration — but it’s a reminder that Donny has always wanted to be a dictator. the events of the last three years — the 2020 loss, the half billion dollars in judgements, and the coming criminal trials — have only made this dangerous fuckhead’s lust for absolute power that much stronger.