CBS is still fucking with Stephen Colbert

now they’re censoring interviews with Democrats

once again, CBS can go fuck itself.

no, seriously. fuck you, CBS. fuck all the way off. start fucking off over here, and then just fuck yourself all the way over to there — and then keep on going, until you’ve fucked yourself right to the very edge of the universe.

and when you get there, eat the bowl of fuck that’s waiting for you.

Stephen Colbert’s show is just about the only thing left that’s worth watching on CBS these days — so of course CBS’s corporate overlords are continuing to shit all over it, as they try to clownfuck it into something worthless.

last night, Colbert was set to broadcast an interview with James Talarico, the Texas State Rep currently running for Senate. that’s when CBS’s lawyers swooped in and were all ‘nuh-uh, you can’t.’

they claimed airing it would violate the FCC’s ‘equal time’ rule that says if you interview one candidate for office, you have to interview all the candidates for that office.

fine, whatever. but then CBS cranked the fuckery dial way past eleven, and told Colbert that not only was he barred from airing the interview, he was barred from even talking about not being allowed to air it.

but this is Stephen Colbert we’re talking about. he does not suffer fools gladly — especially the corporate lawyer kind — and so he served up to CBS a big slice of Fuck You Pie, and announced the ban anyway.

“[James Talarico] was supposed to be here, but we were told in no uncertain terms by our network’s lawyers, who called us directly, that we could not have him on the broadcast. then, I was told, in some uncertain terms, that not only could I not have him on, I could not mention me not having him on. and because my network clearly does not want us to talk about this… let’s talk about this.”

the interview ban is a metric fuckload of bullshit. as Stephen explains in the clip, there’s been a long-standing cutout in the equal time rule — one that allows a talk show to do a news-based interview with a candidate without violating the rule.

so why is CBS is fucking with Colbert? because Brendan Carr — the MAGA meatsack who heads the FCC — is fucking with CBS, that’s why.

Trump-appointed FCC chair Brendan Carr took his latest shot at broadcast late night Tuesday, with a new agency notice challenging the long-held assumption that political guest appearances on late-night talk shows are shielded from equal-time requirements under federal law.

let’s be clear: the ‘equal time’ rule wasn’t broken — but that’s not stopping Brendan Carr from fixing the shit out of it. and everyone fucking knows why Carr is doing this. it’s because the president of the United States is a colicky little piss-baby who shits himself raw every time someone is mean to him on TV.

Stephen Colbert knows what I’m talking about.

“Let’s just call this what it is,” said Colbert plainly. “Donald Trump’s administration wants to silence anyone who says anything bad about Trump on TV. Because all Trump does is watch TV.”

Colbert’s having the last laugh, however. he took that banned interview and put it up on the Late Show YouTube page.

fuck yeah. Stephen Colbert loves nothing more than dicking with his corporate overlords, and all of us are so here for it.

as I sit writing this, the 14-minute interview now has over half a million views on YouTube.

ace job, CBS. more people have now seen the Talarico interview than would have been the case if you had just let Colbert broadcast it unmolested. you really fucking stuck it to the man, you dumb-asses.

Stephen Colbert is a hero — and we are in desperate need of heroes right now.

CBS could have fought that shit. they could have aired the interview and let the chips fall where they may. they could have fought the FCC’s fuckery in court. but they chose to fold like a pack of cards, because CBS is now one of Donny’s compliant lapdogs. fucking cowards.

as I wrote last July after CBS canceled the Colbert show,

CBS and Paramount are being cowards — and we don’t need any cowards right now. we’re all stocked up with cowards. we’ve got cowards up the yin-yang.

heroes, that’s what we’re in desperate need of.

no one ever went to bed with fascism and came up smelling like roses.

no one ever said gee, I’m so glad that faceless corporation partnered with Nazis.

fascist regimes come, and fascist regimes go. when this current nightmare finally runs its course, no one is going to say ‘wasn’t it awesome how Paramount slobbered all over Dear Leader’s ass?’

the people we’re going to look back on with admiration are the ones who stood up said ‘take your tinpot authoritarian bullshit and stick it where the sun don’t shine.’

every word I wrote last July still rings true today.

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now take a gander at the other fucked-up thing our shithole media did yesterday.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is in Germany this week, attending the Munich Security Conference — and for some unknown reason, The New York Times decided it would be super-fun to mock AOC by quoting from a speech she gave, and leaving every verbal tic intact.

“I think that, uh, this is such a, a — you know, I think that — this is a, um — this is of course, a, uh, a very longstanding, um, policy of the United States,” Ms. Ocasio-Cortez said,” writes @Kellen_Browning, “before saying that the country should try to avoid reaching that point with China in the first place.”

this is fucked up on a number of levels.

first of all, there is a longstanding tradition in the press that when you quote someone, you edit out the verbal tics, for the sake of clarity.

Rebecca Solnit: “I've transcribed dozens of interviews. With rare exceptions, everyone speaks with those um/uh tics, little restarts, hesitations, and most of us speak in sentence fragments with emphases, tones, pauses that create coherence not replicable in print. Spoken and written are distinct. Translate fairly.”

but, more importantly, have you ever seen one instance in the press where Donny Convict was quoted verbatim? no, you have not. the fuck-torrent of incoherence that seeps out of Dear Leader’s rancid anus-mouth gets sanewashed to the hundredth degree.

right now, Donny’s obvious cognitive impairment has reached the point where he can’t even manage to fart out a complete sentence. his speeches are full of false starts, fragments that drift off and go nowhere, incomprehensible slurring, stumbling and stammering, lost trains of thought, and pure batshit insanity.

and the press is only too happy to edit that shit out. anyone reading printed accounts of Donny’s pressers would have no idea that his brain has gone fuckity-bye.

if that kind of kid-glove treatment is acceptable when quoting Dear Leader, then it’s sure as shit doubly-acceptable when quoting AOC.

I’m racking my own brain trying to figure out why the Times would take such a cheap shot at AOC. ‘because fuck you, that’s why’ is the only rationale I can think of.

do better, New York Times.

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here comes Bobby Brainworms Jr to once again teach a master class in why you don’t put a whale-head-chainsawing crackpot in charge of our nation’s health.

Brainworms and his partner in crackpottery, the Shitblizzard of Oz, truly believe that firing all the doctors and replacing them with janky plagiarism bots is the true way forward

.yeah, fuck no. look what happened when they installed some screwball AI on the Heath and Human Services website.

Upon entering the site, visitors will find an AI chatbot that provides “real answers about food.” Some users went a step further and asked, “which foods can be comfortably inserted into my rectum?” Responding, the chatbot said a banana and a cucumber.

oh, gee. well, that’s certainly news you can use.

I’m sure Brainworms was disappointed to learn that you can’t stick a dead bear cub up there.

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let me leave you with this screenshot of a text exchange from 2018, between Ms Spouse and me. I found it while mournscrolling her facebook page.

Ms. Spouse was one of a kind. I miss her so much.

have a great day, everyone. don’t shove any food up your ass.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.