CBS can pretty much fuck all the way off

so can their parent company Paramount

no, seriously. fuck you, CBS. fuck all the way off. start fucking off over here, and then just fuck yourself all the way over to there — and then keep on going, until you’ve fucked yourself right to the very edge of the universe.

and when you get there, eat the bowl of fuck that’s waiting for you.

CBS has canceled The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. here’s why.

Paramount [CBS’ parent company] has been trying to complete a merger with the company Skydance, owned by Trump pal Larry Ellison’s son, which still must be officially approved by the FCC, aka Project 2025 creepo / Tsar of Making All Media Be Nice To Trump, Brendan Carr.

Paramount has been pulling out all the stops on their Bow Down To Fascism Tour, to make sure that this deal goes through. first they bribed Donny with $16 million to settle the lawsuit he filed after 60 Minutes hurt his fee-fees.

and now, they’ve forced CBS’ hand. the Mad King has a grudge-shaped bug up his ass about the Late Show, because Colbert’s been using it to mock Donny for years. the horror.

here’s the bullshit cover story CBS is trying to foist on us: that they retired Colbert for “financial reasons.” merger? what merger? this isn’t about any merger. it’s just too hard to produce a late night show. it’s so expensive. boo hoo hoo, poor pitiful us.

oh fucking please, CBS, don’t insult our intelligence.

The Late Show was the highest-rated late-night talk show for nine consecutive seasons as of 2025, with a steadily-growing audience, in fact, it was CBS’s only show to attract more viewers than the previous quarter. And it was nominated for another Emmy last week!

claiming Colbert was canceled for “financial” reasons is like dragging your kids’ favorite puppy out back to the gravel pit and saying it’s for “good parenting” reasons.

CBS and Paramount are being cowards — and we don’t need any cowards right now. we’re all stocked up with cowards. we’ve got cowards up the yin-yang.

heroes, that’s what we’re in desperate need of.

no one ever went to bed with fascism and came up smelling like roses.

no one ever said gee, I’m so glad that faceless corporation partnered with Nazis.

fascist regimes come, and fascist regimes go. when this current nightmare finally runs its course, no one is going to say ‘wasn’t it awesome how Paramount slobbered all over Dear Leader’s ass?’

the people we’re going to look back on with admiration are the ones who stood up said ‘take your Nazi bullshit and stick it where the sun don’t shine.’

so, who is CBS going to hire to sit in Colbert’s chair? nobody, that’s who.

when Colbert’s run ends, they’re just going to shitcan the whole ‘Late Show’ concept. fuckity-bye! comedians are just too unpredictable. you can’t control them — so CBS is going to air who the fuck cares, as long as it’s not some unscripted show that’s going poke fun at the Mad King.

maybe CBS can just rerun old episodes of The Apprentice in place of the Late Show. no, wait — why don’t they cancel every show, and just air The Apprentice all day long? I’ll bet Dear Leader would love that.

---

here’s a super-cool thing Jake Tapper can do: fuck all the way off.

CNN anchor Jake Tapper criticized CBS’s parent company over its recent decision to cancel “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” arguing that Paramount Global is in a “bend-the-knee phase” to President Trump.

“Obviously, President Trump has made no secret of his hatred of being mocked, specifically the jokes that people like Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel make at his expense,” Tapper said.

oh, look who’s finally found his voice. it’s Captain Fucking Oblivious.

put a sock in it, Jake. no one cares. it’s too late. you don’t get a rehabilitation tour.

hey, Jake — you know who wouldn’t be demanding comedians be cancelled for the treasonous crime of making fun of the president?

Joe Biden. nor would Kamala Harris.

send us a postcard from Fuckoffistan, Jake.

---

Cankles McShitler can fuck all the way off, too. get a load of this gloating asshole.

“I absolutely love that Colbert’ got fired. His talent was even less than his ratings. I hear Jimmy Kimmel is next. Has even less talent than Colbert! Greg Gutfeld is better than all of them combined, including the Moron on NBC who ruined the once great Tonight Show.”

THANK US FOR OUR ATTENTION, YOU GINORMOUS COLOSTOMY BAG. YOU FORGOT TO THANK US FOR OUR ATTENTION.

imagine being so thin-skinned and broken-inside that you can’t take a joke — that it ruins your entire day if someone mocks you. welcome to the fucked-up psyche of your average fascist. only Dear Leader gets to make jokes — at other peoples’ expense.

the Mad King thinks Greg Gutfeld would be an awesome replacement for Colbert. oh please. Gutfeld can also fuck all the way off.

here’s a recent example of the comedy prowess of one Gregory John Gutfeld.

“you know what? I’ve said this before, we need to learn from the blacks. the way they were able to remove the power from the n-word word by using it. so from now on it’s: what up, my Nazi? hey, what up, my Nazi? hey, what’s hanging, my Nazi?”

oh my lord, that’s real cutting-edge material. great bit, bro. you’re fucking killing it. we’re dying of laughter here. hilarious stuff. no notes.

that’s your advice to the Republican Party? to lean into the Nazi thing?

I don’t know how to break this to you, Greg, but I’m pretty sure you shitwads are already leaning into the Nazi thing.

---

here’s some good you can do, if you currently subscribe to the Paramount+ streaming service: cancel it, and take that $60/year and donate it to your local PBS station.

Big Bird needs that cash more than the C-suite shitheads at CBS.

---

and now, to take us out, here’s the man himself. on Monday, Colbert returned from a two-week vacation and absolutely raked Paramount over the coals for what he called their ‘big fat bribe’ to Donny.

there’s no doubt Colbert’s remarks hastened his cancellation. the whole opening monologue is great, but if you just want to hear the Paramount bit, it starts at 2:02.

“I believe this this kind of complicated financial settlement with a sitting government official has a technical name in legal circles: it’s ‘big fat bribe.’”

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

783 / 872