no, seriously. fuck you, ABC. fuck all the way off. start fucking off over here, and then just fuck yourself all the way over to there — and then keep on going, until you’ve fucked yourself right to the very edge of the universe.
and when you get there, eat the bowl of fuck that’s waiting for you.
if those previous two sentences seem familiar to you, that’s because — with the exception of substituting ABC for CBS — it’s how I opened my July 20, 2025 post, ‘CBS can pretty much fuck all the way off.’
and now, two months later, here we are all over again.
ABC announced on Wednesday evening that it was pulling Jimmy Kimmel’s late night show “indefinitely” after conservatives accused the longtime host of inaccurately describing the politics of the man who is accused of fatally shooting the right-wing activist Charlie Kirk.
unlike with CBS’s shitcanning of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, ABC and their parent company, Disney, aren’t even pretending to come up with some bullshit cover story about canceling the show for ‘financial reasons.’ no, they’re straight up admitting they just folded like a pack of cards.
“In the hours leading up to the decision to pull Jimmy Kimmel, two sources familiar with the matter say, senior executives at ABC, its owner Disney, and affiliates convened emergency meetings to figure out how to minimize the damage. Multiple execs felt that Kimmel had not actually said anything over the line, the two sources say, but the threat of Trump administration retaliation loomed.”
hey, do you know why ‘multiple execs felt that Kimmel had not actually said anything over the line’? because he fucking well didn’t cross any lines, that’s why.
“we hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them, and doing everything they can to score political points from it. in between the finger-pointing, there was grieving. on Friday, the White House flew the flags at half staff which got some criticism but on a human level you can see how hard the president is taking this.”
Kimmel then plays the clip of Donny being asked how he’s ‘dealing with this loss of a friend,’ and blithering in response about his awesome new White House ballroom. Kimmel then concludes,
“yes, he’s at the fourth stage of grief: construction. demolition, construction. this is not how an adult grieves the murder of somebody he called a friend. this is how a four-year-old mourns a goldfish.”
just a late-night comedian, doing late-night comedian things. the horror.
let’s get real: Kimmel’s suspension has nothing to do with Charlie Kirk. that’s just a convenient pretext. the real reason is that the Mad King has had a grudge-shaped bug up his ass about Jimmy Kimmel Live since forever, because — just as with Colbert — Kimmel’s been using his show to mock Donny for years. the horror.
imagine being so thin-skinned and broken-inside that you can’t take a joke — that it ruins your entire day if someone mocks you. welcome to the fucked-up psyche of your average fascist. only Dear Leader gets to make jokes — at other peoples’ expense.
and now, with the entire media bending over backwards so as not to appear disrespectful of Charlie Kirk, what better time for Donny to settle a long-festering grievance?
“Frankly, when you see stuff like this — I mean, we can do this the easy way or the hard way,” FCC Chair Brendan Carr told the podcast’s host, Benny Johnson. “These companies can find ways to change conduct and take action, frankly, on Kimmel, or there’s going to be additional work for the F.C.C. ahead.”
‘the easy way or the hard way’? who talks like this? my god, every single one of Donny’s henchmen sounds like a cartoon mobster.
ABC and Disney just rolled right the fuck over and complied. it’s pure cowardice. here’s what I wrote two months ago about CBS and Paramount. again, you can swap in ABC and Disney.
CBS and Paramount are being cowards — and we don’t need any cowards right now. we’re all stocked up with cowards. we’ve got cowards up the yin-yang.
heroes, that’s what we’re in desperate need of.
no one ever went to bed with fascism and came up smelling like roses.
no one ever said gee, I’m so glad that faceless corporation collaborated with fascists.
fascist regimes come, and fascist regimes go. when this current nightmare finally runs its course, no one is going to say ‘wasn’t it awesome how Paramount slobbered all over Dear Leader’s shoes?’
the people we’re going to look back on with admiration will be the ones who stood up said ‘take your fascist bullshit and stick it where the sun don’t shine.’
unlike Colbert, who’s being allowed to continue his show until his contract runs out in May 2026, Kimmel’s show has already been yanked off the air. when will it return? no one knows. what is ABC airing in its place? who fucking cares, that’s what.
maybe ABC can just rerun old episodes of The Apprentice in place of Jimmy Kimmel Live. no, wait — why don’t they cancel every show, and just air The Apprentice all day long? I’ll bet Dear Leader would love that.
I understand it’s a great show. possibly the greatest show of all time. a show like no one’s ever seen. I’m told that big, strong network programming executives, tears in their eyes, come up to Donny all the time and say ‘sir! sir! no one has ever had a catchphrase like “you’re fired” before. how do you do it? sir!’
hey, you know who still has his show? this sociopath.
Brian Fucking Kilmeade, who absolutely covered himself in glory last week when he opined that the ‘solution’ to the issue of homeless Americans is just to kill them all.
Kilmeade gets to stay on the air and vomit vile hatred to his heart’s content, while Jimmy Kimmel is cordially invited to go fuck himself.
so, for those of you keeping score at home, it’s —
speaking truth to power, 0
calling for the slaughter of the powerless, 1
this is some bullshit.
let’s give the final word on this topic to former Obama advisor and current podcast host Dan Pfeiffer.
“The amount of cowardice being shown by the corporate media is galling If the press won’t fight for the First Amendment, who will?”
who, indeed?
when I told Ms. Spouse I was writing about Jimmy Kimmel today, she sighed and said, ‘can’t you write about Melania’s hat?’ — and the answer is yes. yes I can.
ladies and gentlemen, I offer you the spectacle of what Dear Leader’s Slovenian trophy wife wore to meet the King and Queen of England.
in case you can’t find her in this photo, she’s standing to the right of Camilla. what is she wearing? is she trying to scare Donny into thinking the Grim Reaper’s finally come for him?
and, once again, as Jesus sagely counseled us in his Sermon on the Mount, blessed are the meme creators, for they shall win the internet.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
843 / 932
sigh. I had so many fun clips of Kash Patel looking like an idiot, all queued up for today's post, and then -this- happens.
ABC/Disney CEO is Bob Iger. His email is Robert.Iger@Disney.com. If anyone reads his email, it's probably an unpaid intern who throws them in the trash, but I sent one anyway.
Dear Robert,
You don't know me, but years ago, you pitched a softball game against the team from Fattal and Collins. You tossed a wimpy pitch at me and I hit a double off you. I figured you were having a bad day, but in light of the Kimmel firing, no. You're just a wimp.
Sincerely,
Ann Anderson, still gloating about that double