yesterday, the pants-shittingest fuckface ever to soil himself in the Oval Bordello was asked to share his thoughts on the passing of an icon.
‘me,’ he replied. ‘me me me.’
‘me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me.’
“I knew her a little bit… she really liked me, I will tell you.”
shut the fuck up, Piggy.
Donny’s such a self-absorbed turd. right on cue, this malignant toad had to make the loss of a truly special person all about himself. ‘I knew her a little bit.’ yeah, right. sure you did.
that claim sounded pretty sus — so in the interest of Responsible Journalism and Everything™, I turned to Google’s janky, six-fingered plagiarism robot, and asked it, ‘did Donny and Dolly ever meet?’
Donald Trump stated that he “knew her a little bit,” but there is no prominent public record of Dolly Parton and Donald Trump having a formal or well-documented in-person meeting.
yeah, I thought so. fucking liar.
“she really liked me, I will tell you.”
oh, please. don’t make me laugh.
Dolly Parton and Donny Convict couldn’t have been two more completely different people. Dolly was everything Donny wishes he could be.
let’s compare.
Dolly was a success. she was born into poverty, but through her sheer talent and drive, rose to become an internationally-known star.
Donny was born into obscene wealth, and squandered every single fucking bit of it. he took the $413 million he inherited from his tyrant Klansman father and turned it into a 1.3 BILLION dollar loss. every one of his business ventures has failed miserably.
Dolly created things of value. the songs she wrote will live forever.
all Donny will leave behind is series of vulgar monuments to himself — gaudy statuary to be toppled, and fugly golden towers and golf motels that will fall into disrepair and decay, until they’re finally bulldozed and quickly forgotten.
Dolly was a solid winner. during her life, she collected 11 Grammy Awards, 10 Country Music Association (CMA) Awards, and multiple honors such as the Country Music Hall of Fame induction and the National Medal of Arts.
Donny is such a piss-baby loser that a laughably fake ‘Peace Prize’ had to be ginned up and handed to him at a pretend ceremony, just so he would finally stop whining about having never gotten one.
spoiler alert: the broken-inside narcissist kept right on whining about it anyway.
despite her massive success, Dolly remained modest and humble, telling an interviewer, “I’ll see a whole wall of my pictures somewhere, and I’ll wonder ‘how did that happen?’”
despite being the biggest fucking loser on the planet, Donny never stops talking about how amazing he is.
Dolly was kind and generous. during her life, she gave away millions of dollars to causes that were important to her. she funded research that led to the development of a covid vaccine.
can you imagine Donny doing any of that shit? fuck no. he’s the exact opposite. he’s a thief and con artist. he’s a felon, convicted of business fraud. he’s spent his entire life separating the gullible from their money. he ripped off the bankers who invested in his failing casinos. he cheated the hopefuls who enrolled in his scam university. he and his library-paste-eating failson Eric took money raised in the name of cancer-stricken children and stuffed it into their own pockets.
how fucked up is that?
Dolly promoted education. if any the 11,000 employees of the various businesses she had a stake in wanted to go to college, their books and tuition were paid for. she founded the Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, which gave away over 332 million books books to children in the United States, Australia, Canada, Ireland, and the United Kingdom.
Donny is an ignorant moron who quite famously said that he ‘loved the poorly-educated.’ I guess that’s because they’re easier to swindle.
oh, and Trump and his Republican enablers cut funding to Dolly’s Imagination Library. thanks for nothing, you fucking fucks.
Dolly was multi-talented. she could sing, she could write songs, she could play instruments. she could act.
Donny is a racist game show host.
Dolly was a humanitarian. she promoted gay rights, trans rights, women’s rights and workers’ rights. she was solidly pro-union. she fought for diversity. here’s a cool quote.
“And of course Black lives matter. Do we think our little white asses are the only ones that matter? No!”
Donny is still a racist game show host.
Dolly was universally beloved. the entire world is mourning her passing.
do you think anything like that is going to happen when Donny at long last shits his mortal coil? now comes the part where we throw our heads back in laughter. ready?
here’s your Hero of the Day: U.S. District Judge David Hittner, who smacked down as unconstitutional a ban on drag shows in Texas.
now, ruling that a law prohibiting wearing a costume violates First Amendment rights is a no-brainer. fucking duh, am I right?
but here’s what elevates Judge Hittner to hero status: it’s the impeccable logic and reason he used in reaching his decision.
Hittner, a Reagan-appointed judge, finished out with an obvious recommendation. “For those who find such activities as described in this case offensive, the solution is relatively simple … just don’t go.”
just don’t go.
don’t you wish that every single one of these bigoted, hateful busybodies would live by this simple rule?
just don’t go.
stop trying to police shit that doesn’t affect you. if it isn’t your thing, stay the fuck home. problem solved.
massive correction corner —
in yesterday’s post, I attributed the following not-tweet to Ontario Premier Doug Ford. it’s not real. it’s a photoshopped fake, and I fell for it.
it’s still a hell of a good idea, though.
hey, what do you say we have us some Daily Claudia? sounds like a plan, doesn’t it?
here’s a triptych from the Poughkeepsie restaurant Shadows on the Hudson, on July 28, 2024.
have a great Thursday, everyone. if it isn’t your thing, stay the fuck home.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
your reminder that Texas still has a lot of shitty judges:
"ICE Agent Released From Texas Jail After Minnesota Loses Court Fight
The state had sought to have the agent extradited from Texas to answer charges in Minneapolis related to an on-duty shooting that wounded an immigrant."
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/27/us/christian-castro-jail-minnesota-texas-ice-agent.html
Dolly was a firecracker, a creative genius and an all-around cool chick. One of the best examples of how to be a human being we'll ever see. Donny can try to glom onto her but it's water off a duck's back. Dolly stands alone. Not even the Dotard can sully her memory.
Anyway, under the heading of Judges Doing the Right Thing, the judge in Andrew Tate's case just threw out a 150-page filing arguing for pre-trial release. Turns out you can't just throw paperwork at a judge and expect them to read and consider it. There are procedures. Tate's lawyer didn't follow them.
When you're in deep legal shit, don't go for the cut-rate representation. Safe prediction: Tate bros will be on trial in the UK.