world leaders, stop legitimizing Preznit Fuckwit with your presence

Donny shits the bed in front of King Charles

King Charles III, can we talk?

Charles, why are you doing this? why are you conferring legitimacy onto a piss-baby fascist by gracing him with your royal presence? there’s no good reason for it. what’s in it for you? you’re a literal king. it’s right there in your title. you could be doing anything else with your time right now.

no world leader needs to be giving Donny the time of day. he’s turned the United States into a pariah state, so treat him like the pariah he is. just say no.

plus, Donny’s an unpredictable ticking time bomb. meet with him, and you’re basically spinning the Big Wheel of Bugfuck. anything could happen. worst case, you’ll end up dogpiled in the Oval Bordello like Zelenskyy.

best case, you’ll simply stand around helplessly while Donny makes a fool of himself.

Donny, what the fuck are you doing? did you catch what just happened in that clip? dude cut in front of King Charles and prevented him from shaking hands. how rude. who does that?

but of course, blocking British royalty is kind of Donny’s signature move.

for fuck’s sake, Donny — how about having a little situational awareness?

in fact, do not ever stand between Donny and a camera, or you’ll be in for a rude awakening, as the Prime Minister of Montenegro found out during a 2017 NATO photo op.

what a dick.

but that’s what happens when you spin the Big Wheel of Bugfuck — and that’s why, when Donny invited King Charles to America, the king should have replied that he would have loved to, but he literally had to be doing anything else on the planet.

and of course Donny made the royal visit all about himself.

“in a few hours, His Majesty will stand in the heart— of the United States Capitol as the very first British king ever to adrist— a— joint session— of— the— United States Congress, so he’s gonna be addressing— Congress, and I’m gonna be watching. I was thinking of going but they said I don’t know. that might be a step too far. I would love to go— it’s not supposed to be protocol but I would love to be with you.”

yeah, he actually said ‘adrist.’

Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ rapidly-increasing deterioration is impossible to ignore. he can no longer read. he’s completely flummoxed by the one-syllable words his handlers have written for him. dragging Donny out in public and forcing him to speechify is really at this point a form of elder abuse.

do you think Donny has any idea what the words he’s struggling to pronounce mean? he seems completely mystified by what he’s saying. he also seems completely mystified by punctuation, as he mechanically gasps out each word.

“majestic inheritance their veins ran with Anglo-Saxon courage their hearts beat with an English faith in standing firm for what is right good and true.”

majestic inheritance whaaaaat?

I’m surprised that Republicans haven’t turned Donny’s cognitive decline into yet another reason for why he needs a vulgar Epstein Dance Hall™.

by the way, Donny missed a perfect opportunity to ask King Charles about the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow. I certainly would have.

when you’re a king, you’re supposed to know that shit. in fact, if it were me up there at the podium, I would have done the entire ‘strange women lying in ponds’ monologue for King Charles. I’ll bet he would have rather heard that than Donny’s fucked-up mangling of ‘Anglo-Saxon curge.’

now tell me, who wore it better, Melania—

or the lamp that’s on my desk right now?

oh, and fuck the entire White House social media team. can you believe they actually had the nerve to post this?

no. fuck no. this is repugnant. is it supposed to be a joke? because it’s not funny. we don’t have a king in the US of A. we fought a whole Revolutionary War about it, remember?

I’ve read the entire Constitution, and I don’t recall anything in it about ‘how about in 249 years we try having a king again only this time he’s really fucking dumb.’

credit: Jesse Duquette

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fucking shit up in front of the King of England wasn’t the only item on Donny’s agenda yesterday. dude actually had a busy day.

his Department of Don’t You Dare Call It Justice indicted James Comey for the heinous crime of Seashell Arrangement With Intent to Mock.

no, really. they’re calling this a ‘threat on Donny’s life.’ what utter fucking horse shit.

At a news conference on Tuesday, the F.B.I. director, Kash Patel, said that Mr. Comey “disgracefully encouraged a threat on President Trump’s life and posted it on Instagram for the world to see.”

The three-page indictment makes a similar claim, asserting that “a reasonable recipient who is familiar with the circumstances would interpret” the message written in seashells “as a serious expression of an intent to do harm to President Trump.”

of course this dumbfuck indictment is going to get laughed out of court in a heartbeat — but convicting Comey of Grand Arrangement Seashells isn’t the goal here. the goal is to intimidate you and I — We the People — into being afraid to exercise our First Amendment right to ridicule the shit out of Dear Leader.

do not obey in advance. obeying in advance is how fascism wins.

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Donny also found time to hallucinate all over his crappy app.

Iran has just informed us that they are in a “State of Collapse.” They want us to “Open the Hormuz Strait,” as soon as possible, as they try to figure out their leadership situation (Which I believe they will be able to do!). Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP

yeah, no. Iran said nothing of the kind. Donny’s just making shit up. he’s posting nonsense like this because — as we like to say around here — those markets aren’t going to manipulate themselves.

now let’s watch as ABC News teaches a master class in how you cover the mouth-farts of a lying liar who lies.

President Trump wrote, without citing evidence, that “Iran has just informed us that they are in a ‘State of Collapse.’”

oh look — ABC News actually put ‘without citing evidence’ in the header of their post.

that’s important, because all too often our media simply parrots verbatim whatever Dear Leader says, without noting that he has a propensity for lying about every fucking thing.

could the worthless scribblers actually be learning? let’s keep our fingers crossed.

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everything fucking sucks right now, so let’s just enjoy thirty seconds of Dear Leader’s Slovenian rent-a-wife, who seems completely grossed out at having to hold the rotting hand of the malignant toad she’s married to.

what a happy, well-adjusted couple. how much do you think Melly got paid for having to endure half a minute of physical contact?

oh, and tell me, who wore it better — Donny, or Elmer Fudd?

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.