why the fuck is the New York Times both-sidesing abortion?

no, Joe Biden is not as bad as Trump

our worthless corporate-controlled media sure loves to create false equivalences. they’re fucking addicted to it. there isn’t one single Republican atrocity they can’t manage to also pin on the Democrats.

did Republicans tear a hole in the space-time continuum and unleash a horde of hellspawn demons? no prob, Bob — the media will find a Democrat who failed to pay a parking ticket and frame it as see? both sides suck all ass.

it’s fucking maddening and it never ends.

is Donald Trump bad on abortion? look, Joe Biden is bad, too.

wait, what? I had to have made that last example up, right? no fucking way would anyone in the media suggest that, right? that’s crazypants lunacy.

ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on this New York Times headline:

Two Imperfect Messengers Take On Abortion

Neither side of the abortion divide would probably design the exact candidate they have in 2024.

oh wait, the Times isn’t both-sidesing, they’re neither-sidesing. congratulations, New York Times, you’ve invented an all-new journalistic atrocity.

ok, NYT, we’ll bite. how is Joe Biden bad on abortion?

In the summer of 2019, as a crowded Democratic primary was picking up speed, Joe Biden was on the defensive, pummeled by abortion-rights groups and his opponents for his support of the Hyde Amendment, a measure that prohibits the use of federal funds for most abortions.

He reversed his position, but the episode underlined his wobbly standing in the eyes of abortion-rights activists as he faced off in 2020 against Donald Trump, who became a hero of the anti-abortion movement by using his presidency to appoint Supreme Court justices who appeared likely to overturn Roe v. Wade.

so Joe Biden used to be for the Hyde Amendment but now he’s against it?

IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

someone please explain to me how Biden’s position evolving in the right direction is just as problematic as the guy who is currently going around bragging that he “ended Roe,” and who just yesterday said that states have the right to punish doctors who perform abortions.

Asked whether doctors who provide abortions should be punished, Trump allowed that certain states could do that.

“I’d let that be to the states,” Trump said. “You know, everything we’re doing now is states and states’ rights. And what we wanted to do is get it back to the states, because for 53 years it’s been a fight. And now the states are handling it. And some have handled it very well, and the others will end up handling it very well.

oh, ok. perfectly normal stuff, and not at all batshit.

Jesus H. Christ on a crankshaft, calling for doctors to be punished is not being an “imperfect messenger on abortion.” it’s being a dangerous fucking extremist — and I’ll take Joe Biden’s flip on Hyde any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

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with Republicans, it’s always watch what they do, not what they say.

after Arizona’s Supreme Court handed down that draconian ruling imposing their 19th-century beliefs on reproductive rights, the state’s GOP bent over backwards to disavow it. oh no, they said, not us. we’re not at all down with this shit at all. it goes way too far.

from the sheer volume of their alleged outrage, you’d think that they’d jump at the chance to repeal the law, right?

ha fucking ha. as if.

Chaos erupted in the Arizona House on Wednesday as Democrats attempted to repeal the 1864 near-total abortion ban, only to be thwarted by the Republican majority.

The fracas started when Rep. Matt Gress, a Phoenix Republican from a crucial swing district, tried to initiate a vote on repealing the law. He was cut short by a motion to recess from Rep. David Livingston, R-Peoria. Gress told The Arizona Republic he voted against the motion.

the Democrats — joined by one lone Republican — called the GOP’s bluff, and the predictable happened. immediately after the Dems introduced the bill, the Republican majority screamed NO NO NO NO NO and gaveled the session to a close and went home. nice.

pro tip for Republicans: unless they’re backed up by action, words are meaningless.

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speaking of words literally being meaningless, check out this world-class fucknuttery that happened Monday on the floor of the Arizona Senate.

State Sen. Anthony Kern escorted a religious group to the senate floor Monday morning and led them in prayer, where he asked for divine intervention in legislative matters as those around him spoke in tongues.

that’s right: they. spoke. in. tongues.

what the fuck? what century are we in? oh right, the 1800s.

and speaking of the 19th century, here’s a charming portrait of the honcho who wrote that abortion law back in 1864.

While Jones lived in Arizona, he was elected to represent Tucson in the 1st Arizona Territorial Legislative Assembly. And then, when that legislature convened in 1864, he was elected speaker of the House.

And it was that legislature — the one Jones presided over in 1864, after he had already abandoned his first wife, and married a 12-year-old and was just weeks away from marrying a 15-year-old, though still a few years away from marrying a 14-year-old — it was that legislature that passed a law reading, “Every person who shall administer or cause to be administered or taken, any medicinal substances, or shall use or cause to be used any instruments whatever, with the intention to procure the miscarriage of any woman then being with child, and shall be thereof duly convicted, shall be punished by imprisonment in the Territorial prison for a term not less than two years nor more than five years.”

he seems nice.

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Dark Brandon’s in the 21st century.

Joe took some questions from reporters yesterday and he did not speak in tongues.

reporter: “on the issue of abortion, what do you say to the people in Arizona who are witnessing a law going into place that dates back to the civil war era?”
Biden: “elect me. I’m in the 21st century.”

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