271 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

oh god, I wrote TWO THOUSAND WORDS on a Sunday morning. I'm so sorry, everyone. but there was literally that much to talk about.

remember when Joe Biden was president, and we could all just have normal quiet weekends?

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

When Biden was elected it was like the leafblower next door finally stopped after four years. Now that fucker is in the house every second of every day, and charging me for the privilege.

Susan Jane's avatar

Yes, the leafblower is INSIDE THE HOUSE 24/7.

Gary D's avatar

I’ve often described it as a car alarm next door - and they just went on vacation for 10 years.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Great analogy

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

😂😂😂😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭😭 excellent analogy! Fucking LEAFBLOWER!

Harry Borgerhoff's avatar

Best analogy I’ve heard yet 😂

Lady Emsworth's avatar

i'm having the roof replaced on my house, and two bedrooms installed.

Six men at a time, banging, drilling and sawing. They been at it for weeks, and every time I think "I can't take any more!" I remind myself that it drowns out the noise of trump. . .

Nancy's avatar

Oh, roof replacement is one of the worst!! I had no idea it would be what it was.

Cheri Collins's avatar

Excellent analogy! I hate those goddamn fucking leafblowers!

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

People accuse me of being a traitor when I order an ice-cream cone. It's creepy but if Biden can do it then I'm gonna do it!

Altamama2's avatar

It was a really great bunch of words and an informative bunch, besides being as enjoyable as usual!!!

Kimela Biers's avatar

The only normalcy for me is reading your razor sharp and hilarious words each day! It’s NORMAL to point out the stupid shit that happens and you so articulately refuse to normalize it. Hope doesn’t exist in dead air. It’s kept alive with truth and solidarity, and pointing out the absurdity of all that happens brings us together and keeps us going. 💙

Susan Jane's avatar

You wrote lots and lots of great words! I hope that Donnyverse gains traction.

MountainBoyMike's avatar

Uncle Jeff, YOU'RE the only one here concerned with writing too much!...those of us who read you every morning are stoked when we get "bonus words" from you...write on my man, write on...

Celine's avatar

"remember when Joe Biden was president, and we could all just have normal quiet weekends?"

I was raised Catholic. My father was a member of the Holy Name Society of our parish. So there was absolutely no taking the Lord's name in vain in our household. Nope, nope, nope.

To this day, I can't bring myself to say, or apparently type, g*ddamn, for example.

So that yammering flab goblin has made my life much more difficult what with me invariably starting each day with "Jesus fuck, what now?" 😡

Belfora's avatar

"yammering flab goblin." Ok, I'm keeping that one in my back pocket for later use. LOVE!

Blue Dawg's avatar

I was also raised Catholic. I struggle with capitalizing the g in god. The guilt tripping indoctrination is evil. I'm totally atheist now and never going back. : )

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Kinda sorta. Were we just… dreaming?

Joyce's avatar

If so, I'm heading back to bed to save humanity.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

A grateful nation thanks you.

Susan Jane's avatar

I get it. There are days when even my hair hurts.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

It's the only way,Joyce!

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

OMG. I laughed so hard I'm choking! Award HIMSELF the Medal of Honor? Oh good grief!

myhoopbabies's avatar

Awarding it to himself is the only way he's ever going to get it. It's too bad he won't be able to keep it with him when he goes to prison, though. (My little Sunday fantasy).

Deb's avatar

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little! 🤮

Cynthia Klein's avatar

Goniff schnook. That there’s Grade A!

myhoopbabies's avatar

My favorite too! Let's try to use that in a sentence today! 😁

AuntTeeFa's avatar

No, I can’t remember. Anxiety has been burned into daily existence with this band of chucklefucks “running” our country. Into the ground that is..

george  campbell's avatar

Keep up the much-needed writing ! Truth demands no limits .

Susan P Thatcher's avatar

I'll read 2,000 of your words any day.

FTrump And FPutin Too's avatar

We’re not counting, we’re soaking it in. Thank you Jeff for not missing a beat!

Will's avatar

Looking forward to you posting on a Sunday morning where you can proclaim that there's absolutely nothing to talk about -- except for the prosecutors prosecuting these bastards.

Noel's avatar

How I long for a return to those halcyon days.

Vee Cross's avatar

I'm just glad to have you here buddy, feeling happy enough to write for us. Thank you.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Writing This Shit—

Donny's back to vowing to bomb all of Iran's infrastructure.

"if they don’t, the United States is going to knock out every single Power Plant, and every single Bridge, in Iran. NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!"

ugh, this fucking shithead

https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116431297579272777

Ann Anderson's avatar

Meanwhile, back at the Senate, Susan (I'm concerned) Collins and her R pals keep voting down a measure to stop this insanity.

Blue Dawg's avatar

There must be a video of Suzie and Ghislaine.

SPW's avatar

Just learned a new word from another Substacker; “comemierdo”. Spanish for shit eater. Thank Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez for that one.

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Comemierdo! I’m using that one. Thank you!

Victoria Wilson's avatar

Love it! Little Donnie F F Commierdo!

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Jeff yeeted out some fabulous Yiddish today SPW…mangeur de merde is the French version, Alisa is a most excellent read!

arne link's avatar

That phrase sounds better in French. Non?

SPW's avatar

It probably does sound, if not better, then at least diplomatic but only if one speaks French. Comierdo works like a whip.

SPW's avatar

Indeed she is.

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Just in time for the markets to open. Hey Charlie Brown! Kick this football! Oh shit, I meant the WSJ and NYT. He's serious this time.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Who keeps falling for this? I know insiders are shorting oil stock or whatever but that only works if dumbdumbs keep buying Trump's lies.

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

I think there is a select group who gets the tip-off and they rake up short-term gains to the tune of billions. This is now seen as normal.

HI2thDoc's avatar

This is provably true. Even Neanderthal Greene made bank over SShitler's tariff pause last year. Profiteering has only gotten worse with the oil issue and prediction markets now.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Oh definitely but who are the suckers and losers that keep shorting profitable?

Gail (Chicago)'s avatar

Exactly. Somebody must be on the losing end of the shorts. WHY aren't they screaming from the rooftops? I'm sure 50 years from now we'll understand how the whole scam works.

Kim Steeves's avatar

It's not that they are falling for it, they are making big bucks playing the buy low, sell high game that Preznut sets into motion every time he opens his mouth to proclaim something!

rlritt's avatar

He did it his first term as well. I was actively trading S&P futures and had to stop because I lost money by the market swings he caused every other day.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Secret tell show is pretty obvious

kdsherpa's avatar

I didn't know that he had ever been a nice guy.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Unironically used by him. More conventional than "I WILL BE AN EVEN BIGGER PIECE OF SHIT THAN I NORMALLY AM"

Frank Nuts's avatar

Doc, the accuracy of your words is stunning and you’re right: he’s either awful or more awful; and, sometimes shifting into the third gear of “most horribly awful”

barb's avatar

Since there is no bottom to the lows he'll sink to, the awfuls, more awful and most horribly awfuls will continue to proliferate until we are hopefully beyond this sheer madness one day.

Kay-El's avatar

Alice Cooper was prescient?

No more Mister Nice Guy,

No more Mister Clean,

No more Mister Nice Guy,

They say he's sick, he's obscene.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Would never have thought of you as an AC fan Kay… always enjoyed photographing his gigs. Had an old friend who golfed with him…had no idea who he was.Excellent post per usual Kay!

Kay-El's avatar

I was Patrick, though I never saw him in concert. My loss

Mary Boudreau's avatar

He couldn’t have meant himself when he said no more mr. nice guy. He was never nice. Nice is a concept he cannot understand.

myhoopbabies's avatar

I'm enjoying the steady stream of Trump trolling coming out of Iran right now. The IRGC Navy has the following warning being broadcast to inbound ships: "The Strait of Hormuz is still closed. We will open it by the order of our leader, Imam Khamenei, not by the tweets of some idiot". 😂

Jane's avatar

I hate him! 😡

DJ Headthrob's avatar

"Nice guys finish last. Or sometimes not at all."--Austin Powers

Mps's avatar

Mr Nice Guy

Another thing that never ever happened

rlritt's avatar

When was he ever Mr. Nice Guy. I sincerely believe he is waiting for some pay off from Iran. Like if the Ayatola sends a message he'll give Trump, personally, a percentage of the toll money they are getting from ships passing thru the Strait. Let's say 5% to the Trump Ballroom Foundation.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Just making the threat is a war crime. Time have fly to Europe to receive "The Hague Peace Prize" so the International Criminal Court can assert jurisdiction.

SethTriggs's avatar

This is what million of Americans wanted, abject cruelty so they could kill as many people as possible. It's a death cult.

Celine's avatar

No more Mr. Nice Guy?

Uh, when was he ever nice?

Ann Anderson's avatar

Blessed are the sheetmakers, for I am six to the wind.

--Book of Kash

Richard Dorset's avatar

Funniest and wittiest comment I have ever read here

Mingo's avatar

I don't like Krazy Eyes Kash's implication that we love criminals. Unless of course he's talking about himself and the rest of the rump regime. The stupid does indeed burn.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

With MAGAts, every accusation is really a confession.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The quislings are easy to spot Mingo!

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Phenomenal! 😂😂😂

Jane's avatar

😂😂😂

SeekingReason's avatar

We have alcoholics, rapists, pedophiles, insurrectionists, convicted criminals, constitution violators, law breakers…ALL lecturing and threatening us! This is the common resume for republicans. It is time for a different tactic to remove these psychotic, demented terrorists from our White House. Waiting for another election is NOT it!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Don't forget adulterers, although the ranks have thinned slightly with the departure of Kill 'em Kristi.

Kristi Noem is viciously anti-trans

And reportedly told White House hands

Bryon dresses up whore-y

So I can bang Corey

They are such morality fans

SeekingReason's avatar

H12th, the list is so long and every characteristic they have is vile!

Cathy 98280's avatar

👍👍👏👏👏👏

Jane's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Noems husband is a trip Doc…

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

People like to ask "What's the worst case scenario?" Well, we now have the worst case scenario in the White House. We could not possibly have anyone worse than Trump as president. And the country was never adequately prepared to deal seriously with a worst case scenario of this type.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Worst case scenario: Democrats retake both the House and the Senate in November, and Johnson, Thune, and Trump conspire not to allow the new Congress to be called into session to swear in the new members and elect new leadership.

Is it possible? I hope not, but how many times have they ALREADY violated norms?

rlritt's avatar

I remember hearing that in the past Republicans called themselves value voters. Wow. Was that supposed to be ironic?

rlritt's avatar

Remember when they called Republucans "values voters." Now they are all crazy degenerates.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Exactly Seeking, acting on our present danger doesn’t appear to be of concern for Schumer and Jeffries!

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

Poor little Kash. There are a few men in the tRump maladministration who suffer deeply from "little man syndrome." Miller is another.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Kash is floundering. Miller is right where he wants to be. That is our devil's bargain. Put up with drunk incompetents or open the door to laser focused evil.

Richard Dorset's avatar

Yes, but maybe Miller would benefit from ingesting some substances. At least he might crack a smile for the cameras. Although I’m guessing he smiles ear to ear when he and his zombie wife get off to ICE porn

HI2thDoc's avatar
3hEdited

Krazee Eyed Kash, MAGA's FBI mole

Will find his misbehavior taking its toll

His bumbling pedantics

And drunken antics

Will soon cause his head to roll

arne link's avatar

Lord, hear our prayer. A woman is being brought in to clean up the man's mess. As always.

Cathy 98280's avatar

YOU are on a roll today! 👍👍👏👏👏

HI2thDoc's avatar

A roll today, a croissant tomorrow

Mingo's avatar

Soon isn't fast enough for me.

JoAnne Sapp's avatar

I just have to comment on the Obama/Mamdami video. Can I just say, it was a beautiful way to start my Sunday morning! As a former Early Childhood teacher, between the wonderful classroom, the sweet, sweet kiddos and two of the best men in this country, my heart just leapt! Made my day that much better and I am bookmarking the video to watch when the regime gets me down. Thank you, Jeff Tiedrich!

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Great one again, Jeff. 2000 words that flew by. You remember those glass weather stations with the floating balls? That's the way I view the Trump cabal, floating globes of the The Worst Person in Human History that change places every week. Pete is up, Kristi is down, now it's Scott, now it's Markwayne.

Meanwhile, floating on the bottom like a clot of so-called "flushable" butt wipes is ol' Googly Eyes Patel.

Kash Patel is the kind of walking HR violation who’d flunk a background check to deliver Pennysavers, but Captain Treasonpants handed him the FBI and a set of jet keys anyway.

He's a sloppy sewer clown whose reckless joyriding on $60 million government Gulfstreams allegedly burned pilot hours and grounded actual investigations — including a full‑day delay getting the shooting reconstruction team to the Charlie Kirk assassination, because there weren’t enough planes or rested pilots left after Kash’s little field trips.

The FBI agents he didn't fire had to drive overnight in a winter storm from Quantico to Providence for the Brown University mass shooting because His Highness had tied up the bureau’s aircraft on personal travel, including trips to see his country‑singer girlfriend and to hang with the U.S. men’s hockey team in Milan, chugging beer and belting Toby Keith in the locker room on the taxpayer dime. These are his career highlights.

And let us not forget Luigi Mangione. The UnitedHealth CEO murder case is bogged down in suppression fights over Miranda violations and a backpack full of evidence that might get tossed because cops apparently treated the Constitution like an FAQ they’d read later.

Crazy Eyes Kash is so catastrophically unfit for the role he shouldn’t be trusted with a paper route, let alone the FBI. On the other hand, it's a great time to be a criminal. McGruff the Crime Dog retired and Hoover is buried in his favorite Edith Head gown, so nobody is coming.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Barr was on target that Patel was and still is a dangerous dumbass. But also, fuck Bill Barr

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Hobson's choice. Dangerous dumb shits or dangerous competent psychopaths. They're all thieves.

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Don’t forget the botched investigation of Nancy Guthrie‘s disappearance. He’s a walking human error.

Major Kong's avatar

Can't Catch 'em Kash.

arne link's avatar

Ooooh, Good one!

Major Kong's avatar

Early in the Brown University shooting nvestigation Ka$h boasted that they had a suspect. The "suspect" was soon released.

Lisa Lerner's avatar

We've gone from DEI to DUI. What's next?

Maria Devereux's avatar

Hopefully DOI - Donny Out and Investigated.

arne link's avatar

I'm hoping for DOA.

Cheri Collins's avatar

Same here, Arne!

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Exactly what I was thinking...

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Donny has so many drunks in his as administration, he should open up his own rehab center. Or, he could just do what he does best and slap his name on top of Betty Ford’s in big, gold letters.

Mingo's avatar

Don't give him any ideas.

Joyce M. Shaw's avatar

The idiots and Heritage Foundation people he appointed were charged with dismantling our government and it's agencies. That's Project XX-XXV. Musk's unvetted 20-something hackers and coders were stealing our private information to sell it or give to the AI masters of the universe who think their money makes them better than everyone else. And while women lose their body autonomy, 62m men are learning how to drug their wives and sell them for sex. And no USA man has been atrested/tried for their involvement with Epstein, one woman has. This timeline s*cks.

Mike Janowski's avatar

It's a sad state of affairs when I'm siding with the Pope AND the Ayatollah!

Steve in SoCal's avatar

I frequently find myself siding with this Pope, and I'm literally a card-carrying atheist. Sometimes it makes my head hurt 🤕

Mike Janowski's avatar

Dude, I know! I left the church in 1971, and haven't looked back. But a pope from da Sout' Side a Chicaguh, and a Sox fan?! Guy's relateable, he coulda been the Bowling Team monitor at my high school!

Susan Jane's avatar

I'm not religious, but in my family we kids went to Sunday School. In seventh grade we were fascinated by the Book of Revelation. I really like this Pope and I'm grateful for him. But the friction between The Humpty of So Insane and Pope Leo feels almost apocalyptic!

myhoopbabies's avatar

This whole timeline is like some sort of fever dream, isn't it? A world where we wake up every day and check our phones to see if he's dead yet.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I gotta admit the Kash story still confuses me. I figured he was coked to the gills, not blackout drunk.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Could be both.. Coke and champagne for the Kash man… I guess it helps him deal with his gf singing..

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I guess. Just seems kinda “eighties”, doesn’t it. Then again, that’s kinda the vibe of the admin.

Mingo's avatar

Let's do the time warp again!

arne link's avatar

Oh, my. That is funny.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Haha, and the knowledge that he is an unqualified, incompetent sell out with insecurities galore that amount to ginormous self-loathing, best salved with ethanol and partying

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

And let's remember that virtually all of Trump's unqualified appointees were approved by THIS Senate. What makes anyone thinks the could get enough votes to convict in an impeachment.

Theresa Breach's avatar

Alcohol is a depressant and coke is a stimulant a really bad combination and dangerous

arne link's avatar

Could it kill you? Asking for a friend.

Theresa Breach's avatar

There’s case reports of suicides linked with using alcohol and cocaine together. Alcohol in excess can make folk feel depressed and have suicidal ideation, but the natural course of events is for them to get increasingly tired and sleep it off. Cocaine is a stimulant however, and can give them the energy and drive to follow through.

Joyce's avatar

Porque no los dos?

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

That’s the Occam’s Razor answer, for sure.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Jeff, Kash, the gift that keeps giving…. Pick a day that ends in Y and Kash is in the tank. Another gift is Kash’s gf, you know folks… the country western singer who sings between bouts of wrestling matches who must have armed security and a special FBI detail because… she is so special. And Kash is able to use taxpayer funded aircraft so he can watch his gf perform around the country, all the while doing important FBI work. As I said..the gift that keeps giving… Best to All fellow Travelers.

HI2thDoc's avatar

This entire cadre of soulless sycophants are superlative in their corruption. Not only do they lack any real qualifications for their jobs, but they also actively treat the public's money as a slush fund to blatantly abuse. Noem awarding a couple $hundred million to cronies for her to play dress up, speding millions to join the mile high adultery club, Hegseth buying crab, steak, lobsters, and a grand piano, Patel using the FBI SWAT team for his gf's security, ad nauseum. Breathtaking corruption. When these mofos die, they are so crooked that they can be screwed into the ground like a wine key.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

And Doc I forgot to mention the hacking of Kash’s civilian email account going back 10 years, hacked by Iran. I do hope they begin to release nuggets soon… no wonder that dude drinks so much, hell, he’s probably bumping lines along with the booze the way he seems to be sniffing all the time.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Right. The FBI DIRECTOR gets his emails hacked. Hahah, oh, them fun Iranians

HI2thDoc's avatar

Should we feel sorry for ol' Kash

Heading for the inevitable crash

All his ethanol guzzling

Won't erase his drumpf taint nuzzling

I think that can give you a rash

Kay-El's avatar

Are you sure it isn’t the grift that keeps on grifting?

AuntTeeFa's avatar

On the same wavelength

myhoopbabies's avatar

Me too! Watching him with Mamdani almost made me cry. The decency and caring and deep sense of duty they share is in such stark contrast to the giant pile of degenerate, lying turds we have in office today.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

"Kash Patel is hawking pills that claim to reverse the effects of the Covid vaccines."

You mean, pills that give you Covid? 🦠 🤔 🤷