379 Comments
User's avatar
Alison Parker's avatar

I would literally pour boiling arsenic into my vagina through a rusty funnel than allow one molecule of that man's splooge anywhere near me.

Expand full comment
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

"splooge" — wish I'd thought to use that in my post. I'm jealous

Expand full comment
Bob Bowden's avatar

Saturday will write itself: DOGE stooge spreads his splooge, DeSantis sick-alo flashes piccolo… And so much more

Expand full comment
Stephen Brady's avatar

‘Piccolo’ means little in Italian…

Expand full comment
Marie Martin's avatar

🤭😆😆😆😆😆

Expand full comment
Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

Hahaha!!!

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Deborah T's avatar

Love it!!

Expand full comment
Mark Nelson's avatar

Dang Bob...I love that!

Expand full comment
Alison Parker's avatar

I offer it to you, good sir, for future use.

Expand full comment
Bob Bowden's avatar

Words no woman should *ever* utter to Elon Musk.

Expand full comment
Roberta MacInnis's avatar

Don‘t be. fucktacularly wins the day!

Expand full comment
Karen Hall's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Robert R's avatar

DUMPTY,FELON AND SAINT MIKEY of THE SELF PLEASURING ,

The 3 SPLOOGES ,coming to a Handy Oakley cinema near you 🫵 wipe the seats if You go commando girls ,things could get sticky!

Expand full comment
T L Mills's avatar

🤣

Expand full comment
Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I never even heard of that word but it sounds appropriate.

Expand full comment
meryl selig's avatar

Terrific word . Onomatopoeia

Expand full comment
Timothy Reid's avatar

Don't use it around Trump, he'll claim he discovered it ... such an old-fashioned word. Y'know, like 'groceries'.

Expand full comment
Ole Anderson's avatar

I’ve always been partial to ‘spagoo’ . I’m thinking that ‘splooge’ came from R. Crumb originally.

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂 Oh Alison…. you win the internet today! 😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Tama2U's avatar

Exactly my thoughts!! 😂

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

Yes she did!😂😂😂

Expand full comment
arne link's avatar

Oh, Alison. I think Jeff has competition. That really, really made me laugh.

Expand full comment
Tess's avatar

Yes! I think there would be a line behind you!!

Expand full comment
markwilson67's avatar

I came here for the comments from the women. They do not disappoint:-)

Expand full comment
Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Tell it, sister!

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

God, I just love the pictures you paint here Alison!!

Expand full comment
Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

I’m right there with you, Alison, helping you pour the arsenic, if you’ll help pour mine. UGH!!

Expand full comment
Marie Martin's avatar

Agree. Literally would harm myself to erase the mother fucker.

Expand full comment
Lisa Hansen's avatar

Thanks for the laugh, Alison. I needed it!😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Deborah Hunter's avatar

Couldn't have said it better.

Expand full comment
Morgan's avatar

I’ve never laughed so hard in years!! Fvck that was funny!! Thank you Alison!!

Expand full comment
Walt Svirsky's avatar

Ooo, Allison, I like your style.

Expand full comment
Babe Paley's avatar

We used to call them Cooter Grout, but yours is funnier!

Expand full comment
Lisa's avatar

Absolute brilliance! #MeToo.

Expand full comment
Lady Emsworth's avatar

No epidural strong enough. . .

Expand full comment
Mark Marderosian's avatar

And so it begins. Yesterday, an immediate family member lost their six-figure job because the company told them and fellow workers that due to the now-impossibility of getting needed parts from China, the project is being cancelled. And we’re not talking about some lamp or trash compactor, but a new building whose skeleton girders will now stand as a testament to utter destruction based on stupidity.

Make America Great Again, my ass.

Expand full comment
arne link's avatar

This is only the beginning. We live in terrifying times and the whole point is to make everyone afraid. We must fight back. Sorry about your family member. That is terrible.

Expand full comment
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

seriously, sorry. and it's only going to get worse before it gets better

Expand full comment
Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Can’t like the comment, Jeff. Indeed, you are correct. We ain’t seen nuthin’ yet.

Expand full comment
Cheryl Seybert's avatar

I’m going along with you Dana I can’t “like” Jeff’s comment.

😢

I can however agree with you we definitely haven’t seen a light at the end of the tunnel!!🤬🤬🤬

Expand full comment
Lee Ann Vindasius's avatar

Truth be told.

Expand full comment
David A Pitock's avatar

This is a terrible thing to happen.

Expand full comment
Linda Weide's avatar

In February, my friend who works with open lands doing wetlands restoration told me that Trump refused to pay all of the people they had contracted to clear invasives out of a body of water, and now, with them not able to continue everything that they got rid of is coming back because they could not finish. All of the federal employees were told to go into the office, but could not get in. My husband's scientific grant funding which had been approved is now on hold,. Trump believes that greatness is detroying everything, as in a toddler having a great big temper tantrum.

The Greenlanders Got MAGA hats, only they spelled the words out, and they said,

Make American Go Away!

Expand full comment
Cheryl Seybert's avatar

I am so sorry that this is happening to your husband and to so many others😡! This regime is out to hurt anything or anyone that is not a multibillionaire especially the middle working class & the poor citizens🤬🤬

Expand full comment
Linda Weide's avatar

Thanks Cheryl. I agree that damaged Trump the madman wants to hurt everyone except his super wealthy friends. And, since my husband is a scientist, I would say that they are out to destroy education and particularly science. Research in all areas of science including medicine has been cancelled and destroyed. It is awful. Life saving treatments will not be developed. People in treatment will die. The goal is to turn the US into a Christian Nationalist theocracy. CNs have no empathy and no mercy. Read Andra Watkins on it.

https://andrawatkins.substack.com/p/christian-nationalism-and-the-sin

https://open.substack.com/pub/andrawatkins/p/christian-nationalism-where-empathy?r=f0qfn&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

https://open.substack.com/pub/andrawatkins/p/christian-nationalism-where-dear?r=f0qfn&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

She defines Christian Nationalists as

https://open.substack.com/pub/andrawatkins/p/what-is-a-christian-nationalist?r=f0qfn&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false

And this piece really explains he behaviors we see from Trump and his MAGA Republicans in Congress and his administration. are about.

https://andrawatkins.substack.com/p/how-the-signal-scandal-is-a-master

Expand full comment
Kate's avatar

My sister, a virologist, had her grants cancelled as well. :(

Expand full comment
Lynn Van Haren's avatar

This is only the beginning, unfortunately . We all knew tRump2.0 would be a nightmare. Sorry about your family member

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’ve heard from friends similar stories… hopefully, they enjoyed their years of good fortune, I lost mine in the housing crisis years ago Mark!!

Expand full comment
HI2thDoc's avatar

Also mostly caused by conservatives. Like the savings and loan fiasco. Reverse Robin Hooding, stealing from the poor and average people and giving to the rich are always their play

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Nailed it mon frere!!

Expand full comment
David A Pitock's avatar

Right on remember the savings scam well.

Expand full comment
Ole Anderson's avatar

One of the GW Bush brothers was involved in one of the largest fraudulent S&Ls. Hundreds of $Millions of people’s life savings wiped out.

I’m trying to remember how much time that thieving scion of ‘Americas royalty’ served……. Oh, it was No time served-

Zip, Zilch, Nada!

Of course. What was I thinking?!

Expand full comment
Mark Marderosian's avatar

I’m sorry that happened to you. A drag to say the VERY least.

Expand full comment
Norma's avatar

That’s awful 😞

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Speaking of my ass, does anyone believe that the orange fatty weighs 224 lbs.? Hilarious. 😂

Expand full comment
Marla's avatar

Did I see, or am I dreaming, that there’s a booking photo from when he was arraigned in NY for his fraud trial which states his height as 5’10” and his weight as 324?

That sounds more like it, TBH.

Expand full comment
Ole Anderson's avatar

He’s at least 6’

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

That definitely sounds more like it. More cubic, if you will. We know he lies every time he opens his mouth. Liars gotta lie.

Expand full comment
Debra Slater's avatar

Is he still 6'3" or did he grow another inch taller??

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Ha! In his dreams.

Expand full comment
Ole Anderson's avatar

He gave a couple of inches to Baron. Kid is freakishly tall. Looks just like his mother.

Expand full comment
HI2thDoc's avatar

Is this person a MAGAt?

Expand full comment
Mark Marderosian's avatar

I forgot to mention they are not. I so wish there was some cosmic way that those who didn’t vote for this were spared the stupidity of stupid people.

Expand full comment
HI2thDoc's avatar

Yep, the biggest tragedy. We all go down with the ship, since despite years of Rethuglican efforts to divide us, we are all in the SAME FUCKING BOAT. Forgive my profanity but I am enraged at not only the stupidity of all this but also the willfully destructive, cruel, malevolent, and traitorous conduct of this M-Fer and all his evil stooges.

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Well stated Doc!!

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

I am most definitely enraged by the cruelty of it all.

Expand full comment
Ole Anderson's avatar

Hard not to be, Doc

Expand full comment
David A Pitock's avatar

Well said doc.

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

I’m sorry for your family member!

Expand full comment
Cats🐈‍⬛'s avatar

I am also very sorry this happened.

Expand full comment
Cherié Brodnax's avatar

I’m sorry to say that it is not the beginning. This has BEEN happening since January. It may have just visited your doorstep (and I am very sorry for that) but some of us have been dealing with the horrific fallout for some time.

Expand full comment
Eileen's avatar

Mark, I’m sorry for the completely unnecessary loss your immediate family member experienced. It’s coming for all of us. IMPEACH NOW!

Expand full comment
SPW's avatar

So we can now call it MAGAMA?

Expand full comment
Theresa Breach's avatar

The space nazi needs a visit to the veterinary clinic

Expand full comment
Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Yes! I’ve seen many a PSA, saying to spay and neuter your psychopaths.

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Well played Stephanie!!

Expand full comment
T L Mills's avatar

that gave me a laugh--thanks!

Expand full comment
Flower Child's avatar

🤣🙌💀

Expand full comment
Lorraine Morton's avatar

Or a visit with Lorena Bobbitt.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Even better! It saves money because it requires no anesthesia.

Expand full comment
Diane J's avatar

He's already usually high on ketamine so more anesthesia isn't required. I know how to neuter animals so I'd be willing.

Expand full comment
Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Id be happy to give him a ride to wherever you’re located.

Expand full comment
Diane J's avatar

Deal. All we have to do is catch him.

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Damn, I’d forgotten about that little adventure from the past Lorraine, nice!!

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

LOVE IT!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏

Expand full comment
Rick Calegari's avatar

Yup, a neutered Elno Riprock would be a big benefit. No more little Nazis would be brought into this world and subjected to his twisted, hateful bullshit. Makes you wonder how many women he's approached over the years and even with all of his money, how many told him to go fuck himself?

Expand full comment
T L Mills's avatar

His kids may be white, but already they hate their bio-dad. He's doesn't seem to be doing much to endear himself to them. (on the contrary!)

Expand full comment
Outdoorluvr's avatar

Well, if he wants to further populate whiteness, why is he hitting up Asian women? 🤔 Doesn't compute.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I think they get a pass because of the supremist belief of high intelligence (which the supremists obviously lack).

Expand full comment
T L Mills's avatar

The chick who said "no thanks", wins an award for smarts in my book! And in a typical incel move, as soon as she said "no", Elon cancelled his "following" and I think I read that she claims that cancellation cost her $42,000.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

He offered the Republican hate monger woman, 15 million plus 100,000 a month, to date he only paid 2.5 million, so she's suing him for the rest. So he's a liar on those who take him up on it.

Expand full comment
Ellis Weiner's avatar

Wait ten years, and they all become teenagers.

Expand full comment
Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

They’ll be obnoxious.

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The sperm spigot has been doing this shit for years, he’s a privileged, self important connard Rick!!

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

Read the whole article Jeff references, and there's speculation that Elmo's offspring may number in the triple digits. Ewwwww!!!

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

At least 15 because Amber Heard milked him for one. He figured out how crazy she was and that was what she wanted from him, and he sued her not to use the eggs. He lost, and she has a daughter suddenly (by surrogate of course.)

Recent documents leaked by Jennifer Howell, a close friend of Heard’s sister Whitney Henriquez and mum Paige, allege that Elon Musk, the Tesla billionaire, sued Amber in the past. Their issue was over frozen embryos comprised of the couples’ genetic material – he wanted to prevent her from using them.

"Family friend Jennifer stated that Amber “was in a legal battle with him over the rights to embryos they had created together

He wanted to destroy them and Amber tried to keep them to have a baby.

Tragically, mum Paige passed away in May. Jennifer made these statements in the January trial of the libel trial Depp has enacted against Heard. Depp’s lawyers subpoenaed her during his libel trial against The Sun for referring to him as a “wife-beater.”

However, Jennifer muddies this depiction of Amber as a victim

She said that Amber was, “extremely violent… I was worried she was going to kill” Depp.

So, how did Elon Musk get pulled into this mess?

He visited Amber at the LA penthouse she had previously lived in with Depp, but Musk swears that he did not engage in relations with Amber until she filed for divorce from her ex. Eventually, their relationship became serious enough that they retrieved and froze embryos, planning for a future pregnancy."

https://www.ivfbabble.com/new-gossip-emerges-amber-heards-legal-battles-elon-musk-frozen-embryos/

It has been revealed the baby was born in April and, according to US celebrity website Page Six, she was born via surrogate. But this has not been confirmed by Heard or her representatives...The actress has had quite a turbulent year, appearing as a witness in a high-profile libel court case involving her ex-husband, Johnny Depp, and the British newspaper, The Sun, which he subsequently lost.

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

Yuck! Sordid celebrity gossip about people who matter not in the least. But a weird connection there between Elmo and Amber, anyway. Just....bizarre all the way around, EFN.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

They are both extremely shitty people. But as much as Elon wants to breed, she is the only one he tried to claw back.

Expand full comment
Abigail Norling's avatar

Snip snip!

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Joann’s Fabrics has dull scissors on sale.

Expand full comment
Lisa's avatar

There’s a much easier way that involves fishing line and knotting skills. Cutting off circulation results in testicular demise. Sorry guys.

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

Most creative.😂😂

Expand full comment
T L Mills's avatar

No shit...but you know if you did take him to the vet, he'd try to make off with all their ketamine.

Expand full comment
Theresa Breach's avatar

That’s funny !

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yes, he needs to be neutered, because only the gold-diggers will breed with him for the money, making more bad people.

Expand full comment
David A Pitock's avatar

And get neutered

Expand full comment
Eric Smith's avatar

Got the MAGA/DOGE/X ick factor turned up to 11 today. Someone needs to tell Elon to lay off the Ketamine.

Expand full comment
Lee Ann Vindasius's avatar

Or send him a shitload of it.

Expand full comment
Teresa G's avatar

That is the correct answer

Expand full comment
Flo Plazo's avatar

I like your thinking

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

One could imagine that children birthed with ketamine and cocaine mixed “splooge” would surely suffer from some health problems Eric!!

Expand full comment
David A Pitock's avatar

Not be a pretty outcome.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Or take too much. That would solve many problems.

Expand full comment
Don A in Pennsultucky's avatar

I wonder if that dude got into his car naked or if he managed to drive while he took his pants off. Must have been one of those self-driving Teslas.

Expand full comment
arne link's avatar

I've experienced that more than once. I just can't imagine what men think is going to happen? What is the thought process? Do they think a woman is just going to jump on them when they see their magnificent four inches? Anyone?

Expand full comment
CL Tee's avatar

#metoo. When I was an innocent teenager. Ugh. Gross. Disgusting.

Expand full comment
Lois Henry's avatar

Yeah - I was 9 years old. Naked penis did not have the effect the guy apparently thought it would. I ran away.

Expand full comment
John Hampton's avatar

In her comedy standup special, "Hot Forever", Iliza Shlesinger took down all men who whine that a woman's vagina might not measure up, tightness-wise, to their titanic masculine endowment. She said, "It's tight enough for you and your five inches of fury, okay?"

I can't begin to say how much I love Iliza and her comedy, and how highly I recommend that you watch her specials. She is a master of both spoken and physical humor.

Expand full comment
Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

A friend once told me a joke about a woman who said to one of those types, "You thought you could hurt me with THAT"?

Expand full comment
Marian Goldsmith's avatar

Sounds equivalent to what a fearless mid 20s artist friend said to a guy who exposed himself to her when she was coming (no pun intended. It just happened on its own) home on a subway late one night in Philly with hardly anyone else in the car, "Is that the best you can do?" Needless to say he was crushed.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

"If you water that it may grow" works too.

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

Reminds me of the old joke: "Name three two-letter words that mean 'small' or 'little'."

Answer: "is it in?"

Expand full comment
Lee Ann Vindasius's avatar

Laughing. Take your magnifying glass with you. Salt and pepper, tweezers, and catch it when it sneezes.

Expand full comment
Megan Ross's avatar

Happened to me too, when I was about 9 years old. This disgusting perv stopped me and asked for directions and when I looked into his car, he was jacking off... I screamed so loud that people ran out of their houses, saw what he was doing, called the cops and surrounded his car. One guy took the keys out of the ignition and the pervert tried to get out of his car and run, but he couldn't. He was arrested and I had to go to court and identify him on the stand. It was scary, but, the guy was charged for multiple crimes and imprisoned.

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

YAY, you, Megan!!

Expand full comment
cablecargal's avatar

Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through that crap. Good job going to court at such a young age; that's an extremely daunting experience for a child.

Expand full comment
CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Magnificent 4 inches- 🤭😂😂

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

They are being generous!

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

Very

Expand full comment
247kath's avatar

Yes why do men(?)whip out the pant peen to wobble it around to mostly women? Or send dic pix? It impresses absolutely no one?

Afraid to google…🥴

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Unsolicited dic pics are the worst.

Expand full comment
Debra Slater's avatar

That's pretty much all of them, at least when shown to women.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Yes, I’m sure gay guys love them.

Expand full comment
CreakyKnees's avatar

When I was a young lass, myself and a few other grade school girls were called over by a driver, on our way home from school. When we approached the open car window, he threw a polaroid picture out at us. It was the original "dick pic". We had a serious discussion re/ whether we needed to go to confession. Then we drew straws to see who got to keep the pic.

Expand full comment
HI2thDoc's avatar

Haha, that they claim is 7

Expand full comment
Stranger Than Friction's avatar

It works in porn stories? I got nothin' but contempt for those weirdos.

Expand full comment
Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Lee Ann Vindasius's avatar

Bet his car seat smells like ass.

Expand full comment
Theresa Breach's avatar

🤢

Expand full comment
Betsy L's avatar

I'm trying to imagine an air freshener in the shape of a - ahem - mushroom with that smell.

Expand full comment
247kath's avatar

😂🥴🤢

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

🤮😂😂

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!!

Expand full comment
Babe Paley's avatar

I once had a case where the defendant was caught for drunk driving, and he was all the way nakey--this was in February, mind you--and I was just like, entirely what? He would never tell me the thought process there. It didn't matter for his case really (though I told him he might want a plea rather than show a jury of his peers the video) but I was SO curious.

Expand full comment
Marie Martin's avatar

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Expand full comment
Ellen McKenzie's avatar

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Wendymae's avatar

I googled him and was (not) surprised to learn he was charged with 3 previous incidents in October and New College still kept him on until 2 days ago. JFC.

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

STOP THE MADNESS. You cannot make this shit up. I mean, this is all true, right? The very concept of Musk Sperm makes me wanna puke. And, whatta pick up line: “to reach legion-level before the apocalypse” 😂😂😂😂 I just cant with America anymore. 🤦‍♀️

Expand full comment
Susan Keefer's avatar

All of Trump’s people are fucking insane!

Expand full comment
HI2thDoc's avatar

And stupid. Conspicuously stupid. Sec of Education doesn't know what AI is and calls it A1. Geezus criminy. How the fuck can you discuss a subject when you don't even know what the subject is?

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

How the fuck can you discuss education when you don't even know what education is?

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

Absolutely true. You cant make this shit up. 😳

Expand full comment
Susan Keefer's avatar

Right! If you read this in a movie script you would think that it’s way over the top, but now it’s our reality.

I was thinking about the trip to Portugal to check it out, but now I’m afraid that I might not be allowed back in here. Things have gotten so out of control and it’s not even three months in. 😱

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

I’m going to Madrid/Tenerife on May 5th. I’m not sure I WANT to come back. 😂 We’ll see.

Expand full comment
Susan Keefer's avatar

I hear you! Have a wonderful trip!! 😊

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

If I go to Portugal again it will be with the intention of not coming back, at least not until Pete or AOC or whoever replaces the current White House occupant.

Expand full comment
Marsha Moseley's avatar

Reminds me of the Pol Pot regime.

Expand full comment
Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Yes Susan. Rump’s crew are the dregs of our society.

Expand full comment
mary's avatar

MuskRat is South African, not American.

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh yes…I know. He needs to go back to South Africa.

Expand full comment
Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Ship him out!!!

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

.....preferably to CECOT.

Expand full comment
Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Sadly Susan, this insanity has been a focus of this odious cretin, since he became associated with the feckless orange fuck!!

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Did you feel it to, Susan? When I read that line, I got so hot I had to take a cold shower 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Expand full comment
Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

Really, if I had the money and didn't have a crippling fear of flying, I'd be out of here. Yes, I could go to Canada without having to fly, but I'm looking for someplace warm. I'd love Finland or Norway or one of those places if only they were further south. I've been thinking Spain or Portugal.

Expand full comment
Ibby's avatar

He declines to pay a woman because she won't carry his baby? Is he soliciting prostitution?

Expand full comment
Adrienne's avatar

Probably a good thing she decided against his offer; she’s not totally white 😮

Expand full comment
Marie Martin's avatar

Yeah. He’s thinking of experimenting. Like Goebbels.

Expand full comment
Robert R's avatar

HERES SPAWANNNNN EEEE!!

Expand full comment
s.Michael Morgan's avatar

All I can say is that these are truly sick motherfuckers. We need to keep publicizing their doucheness. Thanks, Jeff.

Expand full comment
Becky Daiss's avatar

No matter how much money he has or how much plastic surgery he undergoes, musk is and will remain the most unfuckable person on the planet.

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

Umm....I dunno, Becky. I think it's a tie with the orange blob.

Expand full comment
Becky Daiss's avatar

Yup. The thought occurred to me almost immediately after posting. Glad you pointed it out.

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

And how sad is it that two such repulsive specimens have gotten anywhere near our government???

Yeah, I know: sexist comment....

Expand full comment
Debra Slater's avatar

But it's not based on purely physical characteristics but far more on the ugliness of their character.

Expand full comment
Denise Donaldson's avatar

Oh, yeah, the creepiness goes to the bone. And the smug superiority, and the cruelty....

But they're both physically repulsive, as well.

Expand full comment
Karlene Escriba's avatar

Absolutely! Who looks at that loser and thinks “sure, we’d make beautiful babies!”🤮. I mean, there must be some really good looking rich guys you could mate with 🤷‍♀️

Expand full comment
Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

His mother on the other hand is gorgeous, jus saying results are ambiguous it’s a crapshoot.

Expand full comment
Rick A.'s avatar

Jeff, excellent column as always. This column is an all time champion on the creepy scale, however. These MAGA people, every single solitary one of them, are NUTS, but I truly believe Musk is the undisputed champion of that creepy, vulgar, disgusting subset of humanity. So much for the old cliche that certain things that are not said or done in polite and civilized society. Trump and his band of brothers and sisters have destroyed that “norm” too.

I was born in 1953, and people have for decades driven me CRAZY with the sanitized version of the 1950’s and a longing for our return to its supposed perfection. Never mind about the McCarthyites, the segregationists, racists, and worse. I would, however, welcome a return to the 1950’s and its high marginal tax rates for corporations and individuals. We could solve our deficits easier than you think!!

Keep it up in pointing out the vulgarity, cruelty and insanity of these lunatics. I have been waiting for ten years for the “normal” people supporting him to wake up. There really are millions who would never behave like this who still do drink the kool aid. I will never understand this madness. Never.

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Oh, yes, the fifties. Great times for women. What role models! All dressed up in dresses; cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and of course, always answering to her husband’s every whim. Barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. Yep, definitely great times for woman🤮

Expand full comment
Terri Nighswonger's avatar

And terrible dress styles. Mame Eisenhower. And then ……. ENTER JACKLYN KENEDY !!!! Talk about show up ……

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Jackie was all the fashion rage. I will remember for a long time her pink pillbox hat and pink suit she was wearing when JFK was assassinated😢

Expand full comment
meryl selig's avatar

Jacqueline

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Vacuuming in chiffon and pearls, while wearing high heels like Barbara Billingsly in "Leave it to Beaver."

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Exactly! Couldn’t possibly vacuum without pearls 😱

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

🤣😂😆😅😁

Expand full comment
shee-rah's avatar

There were also house dresses, made for wearing around the house as you cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids.

Expand full comment
CreakyKnees's avatar

My mom wore "slacks" but always with a season appropriate apron.

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

My mom used to wear house dresses. No pearls🤓

Expand full comment
shee-rah's avatar

When shopping with my mom when I was a kid, if she saw a junky, ugly dress, she’d say, “Echh! That looks like a house dress!” I wore pedal pushers. Girls didn’t wear jeans.

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

When I grew up, girls were not allowed to wear pants to school, from kindergarten through 12th grade. This is public school. Yes, I am that old 🥴

Expand full comment
shee-rah's avatar

True! I’m that old too.

Expand full comment
Rick A.'s avatar

Doreen, glad I triggered the 50’s “feminine ideal” (and fashion) discussion. Yes, nostalgia can be a wonderful thing, but we are always remembering what never was and a time—-just like the present—that had lots of unfairness, injustice and yes, misogyny…….

Expand full comment
Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Same here about the 50’s. Uggggg

Expand full comment
JJR's avatar

Elon is on his way to Howard Hughesing his way to saving his urine, and other body excretions, in pop bottles..

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

OMG! 😂😂

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I have thought that more than once, it just remains for the Mormons to stuff him in a vegas hotel room and steal most of his money.

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
DJ Headthrob's avatar

When my kids were much younger we took them to see Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus at Madison Square Garden. A splendid time was had by all but their absolute favorite part was watching the guys with the large brooms sweep-up while following the elephants. How's THAT as a Trump administration metaphor? Look for that disgraced DeSantis dude to be named Doge Director of Protocol in the very near future.

Expand full comment
Debra Slater's avatar

Astute observation, applies to Trump, Bush2, and Reagan (at least). An unfortunate (for Dems) result is people tend to forget how bad it really was after 4-8 years of Democratic administrations quietly and competently fixing what we inherited that Republicans broke.

Expand full comment
DJ Headthrob's avatar

In complete agreement. They somehow cannot avoid that circular firing squad.

Expand full comment
Wendy's avatar

I mean, Jack in the Box should do double duty as a sperm donor clinic for Elon Musk. Name would be perfect for him.

Thank you Jeff.

Here is our contribution today.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/when-the-president-pisses-on-the

Expand full comment
Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

Expand full comment
Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Thank you for the photo of Fred Piccolo. I burst out laughing and I so needed a laugh this morning. He sure has serial killer vibes!

Expand full comment
Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

Forget a dark alley, if I saw Piccolo in broad daylight I’d run as fast as I could in the other direction screaming 😱

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

so typical DeathSantis guy?

Expand full comment
Fastball Fredo's avatar

Poor poor Elon, everyone ganging up on him..sad… well, he made an agreement with China to build his shitty cars outside of Shanghai and not keep the technology privileged, so the Chinese have built better EV’s using some of Elons technology. “Golf with MAGAS” Tuesday revolved around the Trump tax= tariffs. MAGAS thrust was that sure there will be some pain..objection! Not stated in his campaign… MAGAS say China will come to the table, America has all the cards.. Objection.. for those who don’t know, China is a major player in our bond market..if they want to screw America they can merely call in the debt… not a word after my bond statement… Best to All.

Expand full comment
Mingo's avatar

I can't stand your MAGA golf buddies and I've never met them, but know that kool-aid swilling mindset. They must've gotten their Social Security checks so all is right in their world. No kvetching about their 401 K's yet? Our dotard president threw away all the cards and we have more to lose with the tariffs than China, while the dotard waits for Xi to call. Yes, you're right about the bond market and how China hold all those IOU's. It's called FAFO.

Expand full comment
Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

US won’t admit the hole dug by tax cuts to rich, China owns us and has a military to do what they like. Not afraid of the US.

Expand full comment
-Comment-'s avatar

“spermy multilevel marketing scheme” (chef’s kiss)

he also interacts with his other Xitter profiles.

Expand full comment