who needs an April Fool when we have Preznit Fuckwit all year round?
a day in the life of our Imbecile-in-Chief
who says Donny Convict doesn’t work hard? every single day of his life, this tireless maniac commits more dumbfuckery than most of us manage in an entire lifetime.
need proof? allow me to recount all the stupid shit Donny got up to yesterday.
the big lunkhead announced he would be attending the Supreme Court’s oral arguments in the birthright citizenship case.
why? there’s no reason for Donny to do this. there’s no precedent for it — no president has ever attended oral arguments at the Court. there isn’t even a place for a president to sit.
so why is Donny doing this? because Dear Leader loves him some performative assholery, that’s why.
he imagines that he’s going to intimidate everyone. he’s going give them that well-rehearsed mug-shot glare, and they’ll all be too scared to rule against him. how fucking delusional is that?
what an insolent child.
oh look — Preznit Fuckwit knows more about constitutional law than all the constitutional lawyers.
I have questions: who the fuck is Donny talking about? are these 56 Chinese kids in the room with us right now? who filled his ear with this incoherent racist nonsense about who birthright citizenship is for? my money’s on that noted constitutional scholar (and noted racist) Nosferatu McGoebbels.
Donny’s going to waste the entire Court’s time today, and do nothing but make a big nuisance of himself.
I hope the justices have the foresight to bring gas masks, because we all know what happens every time Don Snoreleone hangs out in a courtroom: the narcoleptic old fart factory is going to drift off to slumberland and fill the entire Supreme Court building with the pungent aroma of ass music.
Donny got Big Mad at the judge who ruled that he had no authority to build his garish Epstein Dance Hall™.
in a big win for We the People, U.S. district judge Richard Leon ruled that Donny had no authority to build his fugly dance hall without prior Congressional approval, and put an injunction on the whole shebang.
check out the first two sentences of Judge Leon’s decision.
The President of the United States is the steward of the White House for future generations of First Families. He is not, however, the owner!
that’s exactly right. the White House belongs to We the People, not some Mad King wanna-be who believes he has the divine right to do whatever the fuck he wants, just because some watery tart threw a sword at him.
Donny, of course, melted all the way down on his crappy app.
boo fucking hoo. stop whining and eat binky, you colicky piss-baby.
Donny is living in a dream world. he actually imagines he’s doing the country a favor by shitting his tasteless everything-must-be-big-and-golden aesthetic all over our nation’s capital. you’re welcome, America!
once again, how delusional is this?
Donny also got Big Mad at all our allies who are refusing to help him out of his Iranian debacle, basically telling them that if they want the Strait of Epstein™ re-opened, they should fucking well do it themselves.
can you believe this guy? he clownfucks himself into an unprovoked, unnecessary and illegal don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran and mismanages it so badly that he ends up getting the Strait of Epstein™ closed down — and now he’s just going to walk away from it all and pretend he had nothing to do with it. not my problem!
Donny can huff and puff all he wants, but this ‘do it yourself’ tantrum is nothing more than an outright admission of defeat. he’s lost his war, and Brave Sir Donny is bravely running away, away.
and, as always, he’s leaving behind an unholy mess for someone else to clean up.
Donny also told Americans unhappy about skyrocketing gas prices to just get over it.
reporter: “gas prices. today they hit $4.00.”
Donny: “$4.00, yeah, and we have a country that’s not gonna be throwing a nuclear weapon at us in six months.”
reporter: “but Americans are feeling the effects in the interim.”
Donny: “and they’re also feeling a lot safer.”
reporter: “what is the plan to bring them back down?”
Donny: “all I have to do is leave Iran.”
that’s right, all Brave Sir Donny has to do is bravely run away, away, and the issue of gas prices will magically be solved. really? it’s that simple? what about the part where the Strait of Epstein™ is still closed down, and Donny’s just going to bravely run away, away, and do nothing about it? how the fuck is that going to lower gas prices?
news flash for Donny Dumbfuck: Americans aren’t ‘getting over it.’ Dear Leader’s approval numbers are now south of Jimmy Carter’s.
take another victory lap, bro — you did that!
another thing Donny did yesterday was to announce that his official presidential library was going to be a ginormous garish hotel smack in the middle of Miami.
it’s going to feature a golden escalator, and that vulgar flying bordello that Qatar gave him as a bribe.
this architectural nightmare really looks tasteful, doesn’t it? Jesus wept.
what the hell is supposed to be going on in this rendering? is everyone assembled for a reading from the Book of Donny?
‘and then I moved on her like a bitch…’
fuck all that noise. everyone knows that Donny’s real presidential library is in the shitter of his vermin-infested Florida golf motel.
Donny also tried to commit a Grand Theft Election yesterday, signing another in a long line of illegal and unconstitutional executive orders — this one mandating the creation of a national voter list.
look at this fuckery:
The order signed Tuesday calls on the Department of Homeland Security, working in conjunction with the Social Security Administration, to make the list of eligible voters in each state. It also seeks to bar the U.S. Postal Service from sending absentee ballots to those not on each state’s approved list.
this is going to get smacked down by a judge so fast that it’s going to make Donny’s big dumb pumpkin head spin.
Legal experts noted other potential flaws with the order. David Becker, a former Justice Department lawyer who leads the Center for Election Innovation and Research, said the Postal Service is run by a board of governors, and the president has no power to tell it what mail it can and cannot deliver.
once again, as with his fugly Epstein Dance Hall™, Donny has no authority to impose his will on We the People.
can I just remind everyone of something that seems to have been forgotten? executive orders are not laws.
Executive orders are issued from the executive branch of the government, specifically the U.S. President. An executive order is not a law in the sense that it does not go through the legislative process. It is not binding on everyone, only on employees of the executive branch.
that’s why so many of Donny’s EOs have been so easily smacked down by judges. when Mad King Donny finally decrees that all his subjects must wear their underpants on their head, the judiciary is going to step in to say not so fast, Donny, only executive branch employees need humiliate themselves.
Donny’s fascistic blizzard of unconstitutional executive orders are being treated as laws of the land only because a Republican-controlled Congress — aided and abetted by the compliant scribblers of the corporate-controlled media — are allowing them to be treated as such.
according to Robert Reich, judges have batted down 89 of Donny’s executive orders to date. this bullshit about a national voter list is going to be the 90th.
hey, wait — Donny actually did get one win yesterday, and it was a fucking scary one.
oh, lovely. the federal government is collecting the names and phone numbers of Jews. why does that make the hair on the back of my neck stand up?
maybe it’s because— well, you know who else was obsessed with making lists of Jews, don’t you? of course you do.
holy shit — I wish I were April Fooling, but I’m not. that was just one day in the life of Captain Clownpants — and it was fucking exhausting.
it’s high time to cut to our heroes of the day: all the good people who booed Donny relentlessly when he showed his ugly mug at the Kennedy Center last night.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit —
Donny announces he's going to give a speech about the Iran debacle tonight, and Wall Street predictably gets giddy with glee.
yup, this time Charlie Brown's gonna kick that football a fucking mile.
https://www.reuters.com/business/us-stock-futures-climb-iran-war-de-escalation-optimism-lifts-sentiment-2026-04-01/
Thank you Jeff.
I'm old enough to remember when all the social discussion was around the Epstein-Trump-Maxwell files and Pam "Bribe Me" Bondi's refusal to comply with the Transparency Act signed into law last year.
Does anyone remember all that?