where have all the airplanes gone, and other questions for Piss-Drunk Pete

we have questions for Transport Sec Sean Duffy, too

there are basically two people in Donny’s Confederacy of Sewer Clowns who are in charge of keeping planes from falling out of the sky.

one of them is a Fox News chat show host with ahem alleged affinities for binge drinking and sexual assault. his main qualification for overseeing all of America’s military might is that his hair is always perfectly coifed.

the other is a found-object rando who was in the cast of not one, but three TV reality shows. his main qualification for running America’s airports is apparently a closely-guarded state secret, because no one fucking knows.

let’s check in on both of these honchos and see how they’ve been handling their jobs.

here’s a fun story that’s been in the news.

For the second time in eight days, a fighter jet was lost in the Red Sea after it went overboard from the USS Harry S. Truman aircraft carrier Tuesday, two U.S. officials told NBC News.

The two aviators aboard ejected after the failed landing, in which the aircraft failed to catch the wire, known as a “failed arrestment,” one of the officials said. The incident is under investigation.

It was an F/A-18F, the officials said. Just over a week ago, another fighter jet, a $67 million F/A-18E, was lost from the Harry S. Truman.

hang on — are you telling me that a $67 million jet fighter making a landing on an aircraft carrier somehow skidded off the runway and crashed into the Red Sea, and then eight days later, the exact same thing happened again, on the exact same carrier?

gee, that sounds kind of bad.

but I’m sure Plastered Pete Kegstand is all over this, and demanding answers, right? there’s no doubt he’s already put out some soothing public statement about pending investigations, yes?

please tell me that at the very least, Pete’s put the blame on Joe Biden. that’s a no-brainer, right? any time shit goes sideways, it’s always Sleepy Brandon’s fault.

what, he’s done none of that? then what the fuck has Pete been up to? has anyone checked the taverns near the Pentagon?

oh wait, we found the SecDef. he’s been making videos again.

“We are leaving WOKENESS and WEAKNESS behind. No more pronouns, no more climate change obsessions, no more emergency vaccine mandates, no more DUDES IN DRESSES. We are done with that sh*t.”

are you fucking kidding me? great use of your time, ace. way to keep your eyes on the prize, dumb-ass.

no more pronouns, seriously? are pronouns why $67 million jets are missing their marks and going splooshity-bye?

but you’re looking good, bro. perfect hair, as always. nice patriotic pocket square. it’s great to see you’re putting that expensive new make-up studio at the Pentagon to good use. totally worth it.

I hope Plastered Pete issues a statement soon, because I can’t wait to find out how all of this is Joe Biden’s fault.

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now let’s check in on Sean Duffy and see how he’s been handling his responsibilities as Transportation Secretary.

hey, remember back a couple of months ago when a military helicopter crashed into a civilian airliner and everything went all explodey in the sky above Washington National Airport? remember how it was all that senile bastard Joe Biden’s fault, even though he was no longer president?

well guess fucking what: it almost happened again.

Federal transportation safety officials were investigating on Friday after two commercial flights aborted landings because an Army helicopter had entered the airspace around Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, where helicopter traffic has been restricted since a fatal collision in January.

oh look, Newark Airport is a complete mess, too.

“On Monday, April 28, air traffic controllers in Area C of the Philadelphia TRACON (PHL), who are responsible for separating and sequencing aircraft in and out of Newark Airport (EWR), temporarily lost radar and communications with the aircraft under their control, unable to see, hear, or talk to them," the union said in a statement.

and guess fucking what else: all that shit is still Joe Biden’s fault.

“everyone is shocked that the system is old and antiquated, but it wasn’t shocking to Joe Biden, and it wasn’t shocking to Pete Buttigieg.”

hey, here’s a fun fact about Sean Duffy. tell me if you think it has anything to do with the air traffic control system being ‘antiquated.’

weird how there wasn’t a single air incident during the the entirety of Biden’s four years, but as soon as Donny’s team of unqualified TV personalities took over — and fired the entire Aviation Safety Committee, and then forced the head of the FAA to resign, without replacing him — the whole fucking system fell to pieces.

meanwhile, back to the DC incident. I’ll bet you want to know why some unidentified general took a helicopter out for a joyride near Washington National. well, don’t look at Reality Show Sean, he’s completely in the dark about it, too — because, apparently, he hasn’t a clue how to find out.

Sean Duffy: “the question is, who are the VIPs? who? is it a two-star, a three-star general? there’s a lot of traffic going into the Pentagon. who do these generals think they are that they have to take helicopters to go to meetings?”

Laura Ingraham: “who was it?”

Sean: “I don’t know who it was. we should find out.”

Laura: “who do we ask? I mean, you’re the Transportation Secretary. how do you not know?”

Sean: “the DOD should tell us who is qualified to take a helicopter out of the Pentagon.”

Laura: “can’t you just call up Hegseth?”

Sean: “I … I … I should, actually. why don’t you call him?”

holy shit, Laura committed a journalism.

fuck Sean Duffy for making me agree with Laura Ingraham, but how does the Transportation Secretary of the United States not know to pick up a phone and ask for answers?

is finding out basic shit not a skill they teach you on the set of a reality show? does Sean think his job is to sit there like a bump on a fucking log while the world happens around him — and then go on TV and whine about it?

‘I’m not here to make friends’ has been said so often on reality shows that it’s become a meme — but for fuck’s sake, Sean, that’s now how it’s supposed to work in real life.

The months of worries about risks to safety at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport have turned into a public war of words involving the two former Fox News personalities who head President Donald Trump’s Transportation and Defense departments.

oh great, now Piss-Drunk Pete and Reality Show Sean are fighting — all because Sean doesn’t know how to open up his Signal app and type ‘SecDefKegstand’ into the ‘new message’ box.

don’t look to Commander Clownfuck for any leadership here — he thinks Sean Duffy is doing an awesome job.

“our very … great … new Secretary of Transportation, she’s doing a good job, Sean Duffy.”

she? jeezuz, even when reading off a script, this buffoon can’t help being an imbecile.

elect a bunch of TV clowns, end up with a televised circus.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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