what the fuck does Sam Alito think he’s doing

and Greg Abbott reminds us who he is

Samuel Alito is one of the luckiest sons of a bitches in America. he’s got one of the nation’s cushiest jobs — Supreme Court Justice. he’s accountable to no one. his word is literally the law. being a Justice is a lifetime gig, and it’s easy as pie — work a handful of days a week, for eight months a year. get your team of clerks to do the heavy lifting, rule on a few cases, and take the entire summer off.

on top of that, Supreme Sam’s plutocrat pals are forever gifting him all-expenses-paid luxury vacations. they’ll bundle him onto their private jets and zoom off to one exotic locale after another, where he’ll get to rub elbows and go fishing with the oligarchs whose cases are before him. all they ask in return is that he rule in their favor.

so how does Fishin’ Trip Sammy show his appreciation for the country that bestowed all this upon him? by aligning himself with the fuckfaces who tried to overthrow our government on January 6th.

check out this bullshit.

At Justice Alito’s House, a ‘Stop the Steal’ Symbol on Display

An upside-down flag, adopted by Trump supporters contesting the Biden victory, flew over the justice’s front lawn as the Supreme Court was considering an election case.

holy shit. on January 17, 2021 — eleven days after the failed insurrection — an upside-down flag — the symbol of these insurrectionists — hung for all to see on Sam Alito’s front lawn. and this happened while the Court was considering one of Trump’s bogus ‘rigged election’ cases. you’ll never guess which way Alito voted on that case. spoiler alert: in favor of Trump.

what did Flag Wavin’ Sammy do when caught dead to rights? he blamed the whole thing on his wife. he threw her right the fuck under the bus, and claimed she’d done it because she was mad at a neighbor.

“I had no involvement whatsoever in the flying of the flag,” Justice Alito said in an emailed statement to The Times. “It was briefly placed by Mrs. Alito in response to a neighbor’s use of objectionable and personally insulting language on yard signs.”

sure, that checks out. I know, because every time my dipshit neighbor powers up his leaf blower too early in the morning, I run out and hang my flag upside down.

doesn’t everyone?

Judicial experts said in interviews that the flag was a clear violation of ethics rules, which seek to avoid even the appearance of bias, and could sow doubt about Justice Alito’s impartiality in cases related to the election and the Capitol riot.

“could sow doubt.” that’s a laugh. there should already be no doubt in anyone’s mind that Alito is fully in the tank for Trump. we’ve already seen him twist the Constitution into a fucking pretzel in order to completely align himself with Donald Trump’s assertion that laws are bullshit and I should get to crime all I want.

remember this gobbledygook, from last month’s oral arguments in the Trump immunity case?

check out this Trumpist fairy tale from Alito:

“Now, if an incumbent who loses a very close, hotly contested election knows that a real possibility after leaving office is not that the president is going to be able to go off into a peaceful retirement but that the president may be criminally prosecuted by a bitter political opponent, will that not lead us into a cycle that destabilizes the functioning of our country as a democracy?”

here’s Dalia Lithwick to explain the insanity of this line of reasoning.

Never mind that the president in question did not leave office peacefully and is not sitting quietly in retirement but is instead running for presidential office once again. No, if we want criminal presidents to leave office when they lose, we have to let them commit crimes scot-free. If ever a better articulation of the legal principle “Don’t make me hit you again” has been proffered at an oral argument, it’s hard to imagine it.

remember this?

Sam Alito and the other insurrectionist — that bought-and-paid-for hack Clarence Thomas — should be recusing themselves from every Trump case that comes before them — but they never will. why not? because fuck you, that’s why.

here’s a thought experiment. imagine that Ketanji Brown Jackson put a Black Lives Matter sign on her front lawn. how many microseconds do you think it would take before the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complete exploded in a fury?

the howler monkeys would never stop screeching. Fox News would turn it into a months-long scandal. calls for Jackson’s resignation would never end — and the New York Times would publish one tut-tutting editorial after another.

of course, Ketanji Brown Jackson would never do such a thing — because she has ethics, and because she knows that it’s vital for a Supreme Court Justice to appear impartial.

but Steal Stoppin’ Sammy couldn’t give a fuck about any of that. ethics be damned. impartiality be damned. an election was stolen from Dear Leader, and that’s all that matters.

hell, Alito shouldn’t just be recusing himself — he should resign, effective immediately. but he won’t. why not?

because fuck you, that’s why.

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here’s the other atrocity that was in yesterday’s news.

Greg Abbot, the psychopath Texas governor who high-fives every time a migrant drowns in one of his razor wire booby traps, just pardoned a murderer — but not just any murderer.

Texas Governor Pardons Man in Fatal Shooting of Protester in 2020

The man, Daniel S. Perry, was convicted of killing a protester during a Black Lives Matter demonstration in Austin.

this guy, Daniel S. Perry, was a real piece of work — a Trump cultist with a long history of rabid racism.

According to court documents, Perry began searching for the locations of Black Lives Matter protests weeks before the shooting and messaged friends on social media, comparing protesters to “a bunch of monkeys flinging [expletive] at a zoo.”

In May 2020, shortly after George Floyd’s death, he sent a text message saying: “I might go to Dallas to shoot looters.”

He also sent messages about “hunting Muslims” and about killing a daughter if she had a crush on “a little negro boy.”

on July 25, 2020, Perry made good on his violent fantasies — he rolled up to a Black Lives Matter demonstration, raised his weapon and blew away a protestor. he then turned his car around and drove away. Perry was convicted of murder and sentenced to 25 years in prison.

but Greg Abbott decided that this shitbag was just “standing his ground” and granted him a full pardon. Abbott’s fuckery didn’t end there. he’s also going after the prosecutor who convicted Perry.

Mr. Garza, a Democrat, is currently facing a proceeding that could remove him from office under a new law signed by the governor aimed at limiting the discretion of local prosecutors.

why is Abbott doing all this? because fuck you, that’s why — and because in Red State America, this is how the law works now. murder is totally awesome, as long as the people you kill are playing for the other team.

just ask Kyle Rittenhouse.

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let’s go out on a high note.

at Trump’s trial yesterday, Matt Gaezt, Handy Oakley and a bunch of toadies did the Red Tie Cosplay thing outside the courthouse.

can we arrange for Dark Brandon to issue a Presidential Medal of Freedom to the dude who stood behind them and held up a “BOOTLICKERS” sign? because that would be awesome.