265 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

the doddering old shit fell asleep in court again. that's four days in a row.

https://twitter.com/svdate/status/1781334563878326781

Expand full comment
Kathleen Weber's avatar

Of course not! He's just in deep thought!

Stop spreading Fake Snooze!

Expand full comment
Ellis Weiner's avatar

He's pining for the fjords.

Expand full comment
un poco loco's avatar

His lawyers have him nailed to the perch?

Expand full comment
Sharon C Storm's avatar

One of my favorite Monty Python skits. It still makes me laugh and I’ve seen it dozens of times.

Expand full comment
un poco loco's avatar

me too... when PBS started showing them in the 70s, as a sort of filler later in the evening (in rotation with Dr Who) I watched each episode many times. It was formative. :)

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

"crunchy Frog", too!

Expand full comment
Richard Von Busack's avatar

Cleese said it was a puppy but that was too sad, so they changed it to a parrot because nobody likes them, even the people who love them.

Expand full comment
Ellis Weiner's avatar

That's hilarious.

Expand full comment
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

besides, puppies don't pine for the fjords

Expand full comment
Lairbo's avatar

Maybe the occasional Norwegian Elk Hound...

Expand full comment
Kathleen Weber's avatar

“The reports of my deaths are greatly exaggerated."

Expand full comment
Patris's avatar

If only

Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Its metabolic processes are a matter of interest only to historians!

Expand full comment
MARTHA REDSECKER's avatar

Ms. Weber, Me thinks you mean this to be TRUE, and that makes me sad! Spread all the TRUTH about the most evil humanoid to sit in our oval, get booted out by the EC and then comes roaring back to get caught by the very laws our Country has succeeded on since we got some brains!

Expand full comment
Susan Keefer's avatar

BREAKING!

Meiselas: What I’m hearing from credible sources is that Donald Trump is actually farting in the courtroom… I’m hearing it from actual credible people that as he’s kind of falling asleep, he’s actually passing gas and that his lawyers are really struggling with the smell.

Expand full comment
Deb's avatar

I absolutely wouldn't doubt It, would you? He is such a disgustingly horrible POS that shouldn't be allowed in decent society....and he's been that way since he stumbled on the scene back in the early 80's in NYC. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd have a diaper explosion along with one of his fart attacks. Nothing horrible or disgusting surprises me about him, and I don't think it ever did!

Expand full comment
William Burke's avatar

I think what you might be referring to is now colloquially known as a “shart”. May have to do some forensics on the undergarments to confirm. May we have a volunteer please.🙋‍♂️

Expand full comment
Rebecca Elliott's avatar

OK, first, everything you said about Trump being horrible and disgusting is absolutely true. I cannot adequately express my disgust concerning him. It is beyond measure. I frequently liken him to slugs, but that does slugs a disservice. HOWEVER, EVERYONE farts in their sleep at some point or another, most people do so regularly. It's because ALL of their muscles are deeply relaxed. Few of us are ever aware of it. But we do. So let's stick to the nasty things he does that most of us do not do, whether we want to admit it or not. Farts happen. Especially when sleeping.

Expand full comment
Deb's avatar

What you say is true. However, most of us never have to worry about whether we’re caught farting in our sleep because it usually doesn’t overlap with our dozing off while a defendant in a court case as to whether or not we covered up hush money payments to hookers while we were running for President. But I promise never to slander a slug!🐌

Expand full comment
Rebecca Elliott's avatar

Yeah, most defendants manage to stay awake in court. Maybe they cut off his adderal for the duration?

And thank you for not slandering the slugs. I am trying to do better, myself, but it's hard to come up with a more disgusting comparison. LOL, favorite current "bad" joke? Bats are now referring to their fellows as "Trump-shit crazy."

Expand full comment
Deb's avatar

😂

Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Mine wait until I awaken. Not "everyone" -unless "we" translated means, Rebecca Elliott.

Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Good. Any attorney who would voluntarily represent this whore and traitor to America should have their faces duct-taped to its butt-crack and kept there for the entire day.

Expand full comment
Kay G's avatar

Love hearing that - every accusation is a confession - people are starting to understand with the sleeping Don

Expand full comment
Karla's avatar

I can’t give credit because there was no source named, but someone said he’s just being anti woke.

Expand full comment
David Browne's avatar

Wonder what he was reading last night. Maybe Alina Habba knows.

Expand full comment
Bonnie Council's avatar

He's meditating, or...method-hating. When kids get sent to their rooms as punishment, after awhile they cry themselves to sleep. This is exactly what he reminds me of, an angry 6-year-old. He pouts, he sulks, he falls asleep.

Expand full comment
Doreen Garza's avatar

With no repercussions whatsoever!!

Expand full comment
Deb Martina's avatar

Adderall

Expand full comment
Joanne Beck's avatar

Take off the hideous orange make up, go to natural gray color hair, stop the flat head combover and he'd look like some dip shit old geezer ready for the home.

Expand full comment
Toby Koch's avatar

I am sooooo happy I cancelled my subscription to the NYT.

Expand full comment
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I didn't link to the Times article, and I won't read it. I really don't want to know anything about the jurors

Expand full comment
KL Pierce's avatar

Thanks for not linking to NYT!

Expand full comment
steve robertshaw's avatar

If we don't click it, it will go away one day!

Expand full comment
Deb Martina's avatar

I keep saying that about drumpf and the other clowns in the gqp

Expand full comment
insert_something_creative's avatar

I hope they're getting enough pushback that they'll stop with this stupid dangerous bullshit, but I'm not holding my breath.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

They have become a bastion of clickbait.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Apr 19, 2024
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Too many times our friend Mary is a day late.

Expand full comment
Victoria Wilson's avatar

Yes,I agree.I was growing wary of the NYT before 2016 when Little Donnie Fuckface first ran for POTUS.They were hanging on his every word but I thought maybe it was just me, that I was being a bit sensitive about it since I despised the man so much from his Apprentice show days and all of the other bull pucky that he had done throughout the years. When I finally cancelled my NYT subscription last November I absolutely KNEW that they were propping him up and both sidesing him at every turn and old manning Joe Biden to death.Good riddance to them and their garbage rag.

Expand full comment
skangirl's avatar

I canceled my online NYT subscription after they expressed outrage over the expensive watch worn by Biden at his inauguration. (IIRC, it cost less than 1/3 the cost of rump's everyday watch. Of course, the NYT failed to mention rump's timepiece at all.)

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

👏👏👏👏👏👏They "but her emails" us to death. And were solid cheerleaders for W's wars.

Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Remember D-rumsfeld's "We know where they are. They are east, west, north, and south, of Bagdad, somewhat."

And Colin Powell's little vial of milk powder,

JEEESSUS kill me now.

Expand full comment
Kim Nesvig's avatar

Me too. Utterly fed up with their constant false equivalency and both sides-isms. At best, they are trying ensure a horse race simply because NYT makes money on campaign spending.

Expand full comment
MountainBoyMike's avatar

I canceled yesterday and told them that they may not exist in another drumpf presidency and that they are in fact helping to elect that bloated sack of shit by normalizing him and making him seem like just another presidential candidate...I hope the fucking paper tanks!!...FUCK EM!!!

Expand full comment
DeeDee Reinert's avatar

Hear hear!

Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Bravo, welcome to the fk NYT club.

Expand full comment
Kristy Kanen's avatar

I like Nicole Wallace. But she married to NYT reporter Michael Schmidt. & has NYT

reporters on all the time. 🤨

Expand full comment
Ema's avatar

For a while, it was almost every Monday & Friday that Schmidt was on Deadline White House and he has the delivery and animation of someone who should stick to newspapers. Even radio would be too much for the non-smiling monotone. man

Expand full comment
Kristy Kanen's avatar

I don't lnow what she sees in him.

Expand full comment
Lorraine Parish's avatar

me too

Expand full comment
Ema's avatar

I know, right? Yuck!

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Maybe he can lick his eyebrows? (like that old joke.)

Expand full comment
Doreen Garza's avatar

I’m happy to know that!

Expand full comment
Mark L's avatar

Me too.

Expand full comment
Caelesto's avatar

Same, I cancelled it like 6 months ago. Can't believe how far they have fallen.

Expand full comment
Janan Broadbent's avatar

Me too!

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Everyone should follow your fine example, I dropped them after they published Tom Cotton's ridiculous performance piece, which he had to know that what he was calling for was illegal.

Expand full comment
Pye's avatar

Me too!

Expand full comment
Ann Anderson's avatar

There's a special chamber of hell where Fox talking heads go when they shed their lizard skins, and there's a spot with Jesse Watters name on it. That said, a jury and alternates will be seated, and the trial will proceed. When witnesses describe Trump's behavior, it will jibe with the pouty guy in front of the jury. I'm counting on his lack of self-control to seal the prosecution's case.

Expand full comment
Kathleen Weber's avatar

what the fuck does Fox News think it’s doing?

Making tons of money and enjoying the blank feeling of slack jawed stupidity as they surrender control of their bodily orifices.

Expand full comment
Rick Calegari's avatar

If Fox and the NYT are making so much money by constantly glorifying Sir Fuckface and putting jurors in danger, then perhaps the FCC and the DOJ should step in and tell them to knock this shit off or fine the hell out of them. No one on any jury should have to fear retaliation for doing their civic duty. Rip Van Stinkle can't even go one day without breaking another law even while on trial and his out of control behavior is allowed to continue. That first conviction can't happen soon enough which may finally cause him to flip his biscuits.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I see no lie, in your analysis.

Expand full comment
Derek Smith's avatar

Old Scratch won’t take him.

Expand full comment
Samantha M's avatar

Too bad being a petulant self-absorbed whiny little asshole isn’t a crime. This trial would already be finito.

Expand full comment
Eva Porter's avatar

Amen

Expand full comment
Mari's avatar

I hope that juror sues the bejesus out of Fox for endangering her life.

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I would contribute to her GFM, for that!

Expand full comment
Tess's avatar

“jesus h. christ on a corroded candy cane!!!!” (nice one!) the pics of him in the red dress and the pic of Hillary made ME spit out my coffee! And it literally is freezing cold in central WI right now—-and I’m not complaining—because warm weather and jail time for bonzo is in the forecast 🤞🏼! Happy Friday everyone!

Expand full comment
Kathleen Weber's avatar

Go get him, Hillary!

Expand full comment
Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I wish she really was the ninja assassin the right painted her to be, in their fever-dream conspiracy theories.

Expand full comment
Ema's avatar

I'm in WI and it's 43 right now. That's warm to me! 😀

Expand full comment
Tess's avatar

And no snow! lol

Expand full comment
Ema's avatar

Tess knows! 🤣

Expand full comment
Vickie Berry's avatar

Happy Friday to you!

Expand full comment
Karen Livolsi's avatar

Remember when Trump was taking down portraits of Democrat’s artwork in the White House and replacing it with white supremacist members of certain administrations?

Please have a professional portrait of this meme, title and all, and hang it in a noticeable place where Trump’s is supposed to hang.

Other temporary Trump portraits include; mug shot with ID number.

Trump boarding his plane with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe, (even though it doesn’t show his face, you know it’s got to be him).

Trump dancing…anywhere. Sleeping during his own criminal trial.

Finally, the portrait of Trump and wife disembarking a plane when said wife slapped Trump’s hand away from her’s. Marital bliss.

Expand full comment
Mark L's avatar

The Judge had the temperature lowered in the courtroom so that the defendant Donald Drunk would be more likely to stay awake.

Just saying.....

Expand full comment
Kristy Kanen's avatar

And to minimize the stench that apparently has everybody in the room complaining.

Expand full comment
Karen Livolsi's avatar

😆😆😆

Expand full comment
Tess's avatar

😆

Expand full comment
Doc Blase''s avatar

Seriously, the thermostat in the room doesn't work correctly. It's either cold or sweltering in there.

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

First: FUCK THE NEW YORK TIMES ALL THE WAY TO HELL. Second: jesus h. christ on a corroded candy cane. Brilliant. Also, Tanner Ballsack. Brilliant. I expect this shit from Faux News, though. This cult is actively trying to endanger peoples lives. I'm trying to figure out when Merchan will finally put this asshole in jail...or a glass box with his back to the jury so he cant see them? I wanna be on the jury...I'll get this ended real quick. HANG HIM! Adjourned.

Expand full comment
Morgan's avatar

I love how you think Susan.. agreed hang the fvcker!

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

He has not ONE redeeming quality. NOT ONE. I thought about a guillotine but thats too messy. 😂😂😂😂

Expand full comment
NEAL O'CONNOR's avatar

no, it's not. The blood won't get on my yarn.

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!!!

Expand full comment
Mark L's avatar

Ladies Ladies now now!

Behave! Im sure your mind could find better ways.........

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh yes! Given the time, we could come up with even more creative ways to rid America of this evil. 🤣

Expand full comment
Eva Porter's avatar

Line of the day: Donald Trump has been a soft, pampered piece of shit his entire life.

Expand full comment
Deb Martina's avatar

Yup

Expand full comment
Morgan's avatar

Faux News should be sanctioned heavily for outing jurors.

Expand full comment
Kim Nesvig's avatar

As a propaganda arm of the Putin/Republican Party, Fox is doing whatever they can to undermine our system of justice and government. I’m sure Rupert and Lachlan expect a great reward if/when they finally succeed.

Expand full comment
steve robertshaw's avatar

..."a soft, pampered piece of shit his entire life..." . Jeff T., the master of succinctness. (And LOVE the picture of little trump in a red dress!)

Expand full comment
Mike Hammer's avatar

He’s a two bit punk in search of an audience.

Expand full comment
Vickie Berry's avatar

Did NYT retract the article? Did they make an apology? Of course not, fuck the NYT and spread the word to all you know to cancel their subscription on the phone since they’ll ask you why (at least they did me).

Expand full comment
Morgan's avatar

Fvck the New York Times is spot on. Do not give that OrangeDouche MFKR ANY attention.. what a F’d up world we live in where a grifting despot lying sack o’ shit can take over The Presidency and use it for his own bank and corruption.. dirty deeds indeed.. and his supporters want more grifting lying treason and drain America’s life force.. they’re not Patriots they’re fvcking CRIMINALS

Expand full comment
Larry Yungk's avatar

Everything that Trump gets away with is a condemnation to he Constitution and laws that I /we used to blindly believe in. Now things are clearer - either the Constitution and the law exceptionally don't apply to Trump, or they were purposely written to ensure scumbags like him are treated better than the hoi polloi. More and more I think the case is the latter. Could men who owned other human beings as slaves, ever have been capable of creating a system of equal justice and representation for all? Would they have ever wanted to? What is a stake with Trump - is if we can overcome all of the impingements against equity and justice with that were baked into our system and psyche by slave-owning men in white-powdered wigs, and have a just result. The jury (whoever they are) is still out on this.

Expand full comment
Stephen Brady's avatar

Remember, the Founding Fathers wrote the Constitution to be palatable to the landed. If you weren’t a property owning white male(eligible to vote)you were a woman, child, or a 3/5 nobody.

Expand full comment
Larry Yungk's avatar

Yes, the particularly atrocious compromise was the slave states insisting the counting of slaves for population census purposes or boycotting signing the Constitution, and the compromise by other states thus to count slaves as 3/5 of a person. But slavery also drove the establishment of equal state presentation in the Senate, and by extension over representation of those same slave states in the Electoral College. The Senate and the EC remain the most broadly antidemocratic institutions in our government.

Expand full comment
Stephen Brady's avatar

And, the chances that we could fix this malign compromise now are likely non-existant.

Expand full comment
Larry Yungk's avatar

Ironically, I think it only happens if Trump is elected and we suffer through a few Caligula years. And once he is in the ground, part of the rebuilding would be to start with writing a new constitution. That is pretty much the pattern in most countries after the demise of totalitarian or fascist regimes.

Expand full comment