Wednesday was a very bad day for Donald Trump. boo fucking hoo

Donald Trump has now been smacked by judges more times than he has been smacked by Melania

part one

Donald Trump is a stupid fucking moron. Lewis Kaplan is a federal district judge with a low tolerance for stupid fucking morons. these two men are on a collision course.

Lewis Kaplan is presiding over the E. Jean Carroll trial. Donald Trump is, of course, the defendant.

Judges do not like to be fucked with. I have been in jury selection pools and I have seen what happens to people who exasperate a judge. it’s not pretty.

Lewis Kaplan is one fucking exasperated judge right now.

strike one: Trump’s legal team has been making multiple attempts to learn the names of the jurors — so Trump can dox them and send his deranged goons after them. Judge Kaplan didn’t take kindly to any of this bullshit.

“Mr. Trump’s quite recent reaction to what he perceived as an imminent threat of indictment by a grand jury sitting virtually next door to this Court was to encourage ‘protest’ and to urge people to ‘take our country back.’ That reaction reportedly has been perceived by some as incitement to violence,” Kaplan wrote in an order Thursday.

“And it bears mention that Mr. Trump repeatedly has attacked courts, judges, various law enforcement officials and other public officials, and even individual jurors in other matters,” the judge added.

strike two: Trump wouldn’t commit to attending or not attending the trial.

Before trial, [Trump’s attorney] Tacopina didn’t tip his hand in legal filings about whether his client would attend court on any date, but he asked the judge to instruct the jury that he may skip trial to spare New Yorkers the logistical burdens that come with a visit from a former president.

again, judges hate being fucked with.

Last week, Senior U.S. District Judge Lewis Kaplan rejected that request.

“Mr. Trump is free to attend, to testify, or both. He is free also to do none of those things,” Kaplan wrote in a one-page order at the time.

spoiler alert: Trump didn’t show — a dumb as fuck move because now all the jurors get to stare at a chickenshit coward’s empty chair, day after day. for a guy obsessed with optics, weird move.

strike three: Donald Trump melts the way fuck down on his crappy app — while court is in session.

holy fuck, dude. shut the fuck up. what do you imagine you’re accomplishing here?

look, I get it. Donald Trump is his own worst enemy. he can’t keep out of his own way. saddled with an increasingly-deteriorating brain and the impulse control of a coked-up squirrel, Trump always manages to makes things worse for himself.

but jeez, this is basic ‘right now is a good time to keep your stupid mouth shut’ stuff.

Judge Kaplan was not a happy camper.

Judge Kaplan warned Trump’s attorney Joe Tacopina that the statement and any further statements about the case could open Trump up to “a new source of potential liability.” Tacopina said he would ask his client to refrain from any further comments about the case.

“a new source of potential liability,” is that a bad thing? it sure doesn’t sound like a good thing.

keep fucking around, Donny. the finding out is going to be specfuckingtacular.

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part two

later in the day, Donald Trump got some more bad news.

Trump has been trying to keep Mike Pence from testifying before a federal grand jury about January 6, citing imaginary executive privilege.

free clue, my man: you are not an executive and you have no privilege.

but don’t take my word for it. listen to the DC Circuit Court, who pretty much just said the same thing.

Mike Pence must testify.

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bad day all around, Donny. go cram a burger into your face and maybe call that dude who plays you show tunes to help calm you down.