we could all use a Good News Tuesday

Kamala’s up and Donny’s down

fuck this fucking nail-biter of an election. good news is out there — let’s have a look.

undecideds are deciding — and they’re breaking towards Kamala Harris.

A majority of voters (80%) say they made up their minds about which candidate to support over a month ago, while 11% made up their minds in the last month, 6% made up their minds in the past week, and 3% still have not made up their mind. 

“Voters who made their decision on who to support over a month ago break for Trump, 52% to 48%, while voters who made up their mind in the last month or week break for Harris, 60% to 36%,” Kimball said. “The three percent of voters who said they could still change their mind currently favor Harris, 48% to 43%.”

I know, right? who could be undecided in a race that’s basically everyone gets a puppy vs diarrhea forever?

but there are huge swaths of votes who just don’t pay attention to politics until the very last minute — and now that they’re finally tuned in, it’s dawning on them that wait, one of the candidates is ass-spraying mayhem? oh, fuck that shit.

think back to 1980. polling showed the race was a dead heat — but in the final weeks, just about every goddamned undecided broke towards Reagan, and what looked like a nail-biter ended up being a blowout.

this year, however, it looks like the fence-sitters are doing the right thing.

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hang on, you need some more good polling news? fine, be that way.

Kamala leads dong-obsessed fry chef Donny Convict in favorability by 11 percentage points, while 58% of registered voters fucking loathe Donny.

The nationwide poll, conducted last week, found Harris’s favorability to be significantly higher than Trump’s, with 51 percent of registered voters viewing Harris as a favorable candidate compared to just 40 percent who felt the same about Trump. Independent voters, notably, were equally split on their opinions of Harris, while the majority of independent voters—58 percent—felt negatively about Trump.

don’t forget that this is going to be the first post-Roe national election.

But perhaps no Democratic stance resonated more with voters than abortion, which saw Harris lead Trump by 23 percent.

reproductive rights continues to be a losing issue for Donny, and he’s still bragging about being the guy who shitcanned Roe.

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Donny is being abandoned by his base.

white folks who never went to college have long been Donny’s most hardcore cultists — but this year they seem to be suffering from Dear Leader Fatigue.

here’s CNN’s Harry Enten to explain.

“it’s been a key demographic for him — his base. and this is what’s so interesting … in fact, it’s moving away from him. this is Trump’s margin with non-college white voters. this group is not moving towards him. it’s moving slightly away. go back eight years ago, he won it by 33. you go back four years ago, he won it be 31. now we see he’s only up by 27.”

Donny’s losing the people who have been filing out of his hate-rallies early.

after a half hour of listening to him drone on about sharks and batteries and Hannibal Lecter wants to have you for dinner, they turn to their spouse and say Lurleen, let’s go home and see if NASCAR’s on TV.

plus-27 is still a fuck-ton of support from Donny’s base — but in a close election, he can’t afford to lose the additional 6% who voted for him in 2016. these people may never vote for Komrade Kamala, but enough of them may stay home on election day to make a difference.

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we’re all worried about post-election fuckery, but let’s not forget that nearly all swing state governors are Democrats.

here’s WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin to talk us all down off that ledge.

Constitutional expert Richard H. Pildes reminded us that scenarios involving mischief by governors are unlikely. “In nearly all the swing states, the governors are Democrats, who are hardly going to be receptive to any entreaties by Trump,” he wrote. Even in Georgia, Gov. Brian Kemp and Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger, both Republicans, “have done as much under fire as any political officials to prove their commitment to certifying an accurate, lawful count.” And although a few local boards might refuse to certify, there are remedies in court. (A Georgia court recently rejected the notion that officials could refuse to certify results.)

and, on that note, some Arizona dipshit who thought she could fuck around with certifying her state’s 2022 senate race is now learning that finding out truly sucks.

An Arizona County elections official has agreed to plead guilty after she refused to certify the 2022 election in which Kari Lake lost to Katie Hobbs.

The Washington Post reported Monday that Peggy Judd, who helps lead Cochise County southeast of Phoenix, was indicted last year for allegedly “flouting the state’s deadlines” for the 2022 election certification.

actions, consequences. it’s nice when things work out in that order.

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Jill Stein might be hurting Donny this year.

perpetual Kremlin dinner guest Jill Stein is like some fucked-up asteroid. every four years, her weird-ass orbit swings her too close to the Earth, and she ends up dicking with the tides and screwing with our electoral magnetic field.

Jilly’s back, but a new poll apparently indicates that this year, she’s taking away votes from Donny.

A new poll suggests that Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein is drawing more voters from former President Donald Trump than from Vice President Kamala Harris.

The poll shows Harris leading Trump 49 percent to 47 percent. However, with Stein in the race, Trump's support dips to 46 percent, while Harris maintains her 49 percent backing, suggesting that Stein draws more support from Trump than from Harris. Though Stein's voter base remains relatively small, at about 1 percent, it could prove crucial in an election that hinges on tight margins in swing states.

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the five innocent and exonerated black men known as the Central Park Five are suing Donny for defamation.

The five men who make up the Central Park Five and now call themselves the Exonerated Five have filed a defamation lawsuit against Donald Trump over his remarks during the presidential debate last month.

During the debate he said: "They admitted — they said, they pled guilty. And I said, well, if they pled guilty they badly hurt a person, killed a person ultimately. And if they pled guilty — then they pled we’re not guilty."

At the time of the trials, each had pleaded not guilty, and the victim of the attack survived.

ok, this one is not election-related news — but it still makes me laugh to see Donny get served another big, fat slice of Justice Pie.

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Donny continues to be an increasingly-deteriorating imbecile.

“it’s as big a water— y’know, it’s as big a water-storm, they say, as we’ve ever seen.”

‘water-storm?’ the word is hurricane, you decompensating dotard.

Alexa, what’s aphasia?

Aphasia is a language disorder that affects how you communicate. It's caused by damage in the area of the brain that controls language expression and comprehension. Aphasia leaves a person unable to communicate effectively with others.

Alexa, can aphasia be a sign of dementia?

what the fuck do you think?

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so, there’s lots of good news all around — but as a commenter under yesterday’s post said, “we still have to fight like we’re ten points down.” that person is exactly right. we don’t have the luxury of complacency. that’s how we fucked it up in 2016 — we all thought Hillary’s got this in the bag, and so we blew up the balloons and popped the champagne way too early, and too many of us decided it was totes okay stay home on election day. after all, Nate Silver promised us that Hillary had a 99% chance of victory, right? but polls don’t vote — people do.

this year, we all understand the assignment.

Kamala understands the assignment, too. unlike the email lady in 2016, Kamala and Uncle Tim are hitting all the swing states. meanwhile, Donny Convict is squandering his time doing vanity rallies in places like California and New York — states he hasn’t a snowball’s chance of winning.

14 days to the election. if we vote, we win.