Tucker Carlson is out at Fox News. let's raise a glass while we revisit this shithead's worst moments

imagine being so fucking toxic that you’re unceremoniously tossed out on your ass despite being your company’s most-profitable bobble-head

the deranged chorus of howling screech monkeys that is the wingnut outrage-industrial complex just lost one of its screechiest howlers.

soft, pampered frozen-fish-stick heir Tucker Carlson is out at Fox News.

imagine being so fucking toxic that you’re unceremoniously tossed out on your ass despite being your company’s most-profitable bobble-head.

ha fucking ha.

Tucker Carlson was arguably the worst of Fox News’s worst. he snuggled up to dictators and white supremacists and he promoted toxic masculinity, all in a cynical grab for ratings.

so fuck Tucker Carlson. let’s mock him at his worst.

---

Tucks is now the only person on the planet to be fired by PBS, MSNBC, CNN and Fox. take a victory lap, you dipshit.

---

big stupid hypocrite Carlson once wrote a groveling email to his friend Hunter Biden asking for help in getting his son Buckley into Georgetown. (also, who the fuck names their kid Buckley? that’s a crime against humanity right there.)

---

guys, please don’t microwave your balls. I mean, what in actual fuck.

---

then there was the time Tucks openly opined about how cool it would be to watch 14-year-old girls “experiment sexually with each other.”

keep in mind that these are Carlson’s own daughter’s classmates that he’s drooling over here. ewww. ewwwwwwww.

---

imagine being such a pro-Russian (and anti-American) stooge that the Kremlin orders its own state-run media to air clips of your show.

---

now let’s all sit back and enjoy this unaired interview where Carlson calls his guest a ‘tiny brain moron’ and asks him ‘why don’t you go fuck yourself?’

---

and, finally, I have for years been trying to best describe that vacuous, confused, bewildered expression that so often crosses Tuck’s face. but it’s time to give up and go home, because I have been bested by twitterer Rufus Hickok:

A+ tweet. no notes.