Trump trial day 3: the wrath of Letitia James

“the Donald Trump Show is over”

Little Donny Fuckface is a low-wattage dimwit with a short fuse, the impulse control of a coked-up squirrel, and the infantile need to be the constant center of attention — all of which makes sitting for hours in a courtroom sheer fucking torture for him.

he’s not in control. he has to remain quiet. he can’t interrupt. he can’t get up and walk around. he can’t play with his phone. there’s no magic button to press to get a diet coke.

and so he is forced to seethe in silence as he listens to people say mean things about him, when what he really wants to do is stand up and hurl a ketchup bottle at someone’s head.

this is why Trump spent the lunch breaks on Monday and Tuesday getting it all out of his system by screaming at reporters.

this is a witch hunt, I did nothing wrong, nobody in history has ever been treated so unfairly, the attorney general is a racist, the judge hates me, it’s all a DOJ plot, WITCH HUNT WITCH HUNT

but yesterday, on the trial’s third day, Donald Trump did a fun new thing: as soon as the lunch recess was announced, he bolted out of the courthouse, headed straight to the airport and hightailed it down to his deteriorating vermin-infested Florida golf motel.

good fucking riddance to bad fucking rubbish.

Attorney General Letitia James had already had it up to here with Trump’s bullshit.

“Trump’s comments were offensive, they were baseless, they were devoid of any facts and of any evidence. what they were, were comments that unfortunately fomented violence, comments that I would describe as race-baiting, and comments that unfortunately appeal to the bottom of our humanity. this case was brought simply because individuals have engaged in a pattern and practice of fraud. I will not sit idly by and allow anyone to subvert the law. and lastly, I will not be bullied. and so Mr. Trump is no longer here. the Donald Trump Show is over. this was nothing more than a political stunt.”

gee, angering an attorney general, is that a sound legal strategy?

Trump’s courtroom antics had also been getting on Judge Engoron’s nerves.

when the fraud trial resumed after lunch, with Trump now absent, his lawyers became Judge Engoron’s chief antagonists.

The New York judge presiding over Donald Trump's civil fraud case lost his cool with the former president's legal team as they tried to employ their typical delay tactics while questioning a witness during Wednesday’s trial. According to Daily Beast reporter Jose Pagliery, after Trump lawyer Jesus Suarez repeatedly asked longtime Trump accountant Donald Bender lengthy questions about specifics from 2020 to 2011, New York Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron exclaimed, “Jesus!”

gee, exasperating a judge, is that a sound legal strategy?

Donny’s presence at this trial was indeed — as Letitia James pointed out — a political stunt — but it also served a dual purpose.

by insisting that he needed to be present at his civil fraud trial (spoiler alert: he didn’t), he was able to convince the judge presiding over his defamation case against Michael Cohen — holy shit, how many simultaneous fucking legal battles is Trump involved in? — to delay the deposition that he had originally been ordered to sit for on October 3rd.

which raises this question: now that Trump has quit showing up for his fraud trial, shouldn’t he be compelled to sit for the deposition? Michael Cohen, for one, would very much like an answer.

would some judge please make an example out of Donald Trump already? how much more bullshit do we have to watch Trump get away with?

anyway, now that Trump is hiding out in his golf motel, he is free to run his stupid mouth all day long:

whatever, dude.

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.