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User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

the Supreme Court just told Donny to shut the fuck up and pay E. Jean Carroll the $5.6 million he owes her

https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/17/politics/supreme-court-trump-e-jean-carroll?cid=android_app

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

He is a piece of shit jeff.

Kristen Welker asks Todd Blanche the easiest damn question in American civics — will the Justice Department always act independently of the White House — and he says, flat: "no, I'm not going to pledge that. and no attorney general should ever pledge that."

the first sentence is the fuckwad. the second is a philosophy.

So then: should Trump have a voice in individual prosecutions? "yes, of course."

he keeps swatting at the "false narrative" that Trump phones him up and orders prosecutions. nobody said telephone, sparky. it travels by weather.

Fuck Blanche. no lube.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/todd-blanche-is-still-trump-s-ass-monkey-trans-erasure-continues

HI2thDoc's avatar
2hEdited

From July:

MAGA AGs have the same styles

And are the worst ever by miles

Motherfucker Blanche

Must release every tranche

Of drumpf in the Epstein files

Sheila Riley-Callahan's avatar

Welker has to go. She is a joke.

Angie Longenecker's avatar

Jeff. You know you’re hitting a raw nerve when tPLUmPsters infiltrate your works.

Sue Munda's avatar

Welker was just recorded chatting & laughing with Stephen Miller like old friends at the correspondence dinner. That’s most likely what she’s disgusted by, as was I.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I thought it was just me. is that how you read that, Angie?

Angie Longenecker's avatar

Yes. I could be wrong, but that is what I saw too!

Carol Jacobson's avatar

Fuck him with a cactus and no lube.

RZolu's avatar

Has Todd Blanche not been paying attention? A short list of Formers lawyers:

Rudy Giuliani: disbarred and his shenanigans could be a whole post by itself

Jenna Ellis: suspended 3 years

Michael Cohen: disbarred and 3 years in prison

Alina Habba: Sanctioned ordered to pay the email lady 1M

Jeffrey Clark: suspended for 2 years from practicing law also criminally charged in

Georgia.

Sidney Powell: sanctioned and under investigation.

I could go on…

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Roy Cohn: Spending eternity somewhere in the Fifth Circle of Hell.

RZolu's avatar

I was hoping others would join in on the list…the morons that they are thinking “I’m different” - as if!

SethTriggs's avatar

Judge Boxwine is about to get on that list too. Also I am sure Susan Necheles' reputation must be in tatters after that shitshow in the Stormy Daniels case.

On edit: I forgot who that clownshoes lolyer in Virginia was who violated James Comey's constitutional rights (and probably Letitia James' too)?

Ellen McKenzie's avatar

This is better than a Christmas wish list!

zuzu's avatar

He thinks he's getting a pardon.

He's dreaming.

Donnie Dimwit isn't pardoning anyone until he's done with being in office, and he has no intention of leaving office. It's a race between the Grim Reaper or the National Guard under President Ossoff extracting him from the bunker at 12:01 p.m. on January 21, 2029. If it's the Grim Reaper, he won't have anything prepared in advance, and if he does, no fucking way is Vance going to let them see the light of day. If it's the NG, no fucking way is Ossoff going to let them see the light of day.

SethTriggs's avatar

Besides criming and being a sex predator, America's Pilonidal Cyst is a gold star expert in being a legal career disposal service!

But all these people think they're The World's Smartest Gnat and will totally defeat that pesky bug zapper!

Stephen Brady's avatar

I can hardly wait for them to tell him to pay her the other $83 million! So glad Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock are my 2 Senators!

Gail (Chicago)'s avatar

I LOVE both of your Senators! Looking forward to 6 more years of Senator Ossoff.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Lucky you! Mine is Susan “I’m concerned” Collins but not for long.

Hollie Rood's avatar

My condolences Mike

Angie Longenecker's avatar

You could have Tommy Booberville.

Polly Sears's avatar

I have a Spitfire -Elizabeth Warren!

LINDA ADAMS's avatar

Lucky you. I get Rick Scott and Ashley Moody. 😭

Stephen Brady's avatar

I picked up and moved from S FL to S GA 4 years ago. I just couldn't handle the politics and hurricanes any more.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

You are so lucky. Mine are Fetterman and McCormick. Ugh.

Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Seriously Jeff. Some progressive bitches need to swat his ass , a few times over.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I guarantee you, if he had assaulted Carroll while he was POtuS, Thomas and Alito would have found the a way to make raping part of his official duties.

Cathy Rady's avatar

because he got confused and Goldfingered both her and the Oval Office?

Leu2500's avatar

Again. This was "didn't you hear us the 1st time" in legalese.

Marc R Hapke's avatar

Is he still sitting on that? I thought that money had been paid out and we had moved on to the $83M he owes her.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

according to the Guardian report, "Under a lower court order, Trump had already paid Carroll the $5.6 million. Carroll’s lawyers said in a court filing that she would 'place the award in an interest-bearing account until Defendant’s petition for rehearing is denied.'"

Anna Bolique's avatar

"The American People stand with President Trump as they demand an immediate end to all of the Witch Hunts, including the Democrat-funded travesty of the Carroll Hoaxes,” a spokesperson for Trump’s legal team said in a statement. “President Trump will keep winning against Liberal Lawfare, as he continues to focus on his mission to Make America Great Again.”

This is next-level gaslighting that would be hilarious if there weren't still people who believe it...including some in my own family. 🤦🏻‍♀️

2Cats2Furious's avatar

All of Donnie’s spokesliars have the same training.

JoJoRa's avatar

I could have written this comment. Unfortunately, too many of us still have "loved ones" drinking the Kool-Aid. I cannot forgive them for all the damage to this country (world!) that every MAGA moron allowed because they voted for him again, I saw the writing on the wall when he rose the golden escalator and never thought he could get elected, not once but TWICE. Unfortunately, when the Democrats take charge and try to rebuild this republic, every one of those morons will benefit (Medicare for all, free child care etc). Wouldn't it be nice to ration out the "giveaways" based on your voting record?

Kay-El's avatar

SCOTUS should do that more often. Maybe every fucking time. With a “you’re not special” dollop on top.

Hollie Rood's avatar

Along with a few sprinkles for good measure

SethTriggs's avatar

Sprinkles are for winners!

SethTriggs's avatar

Wooooooow!

So I wonder what he's going to do to slow walk THIS!

Joyce's avatar

Declare bankruptcy? That's worked before for him.....

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Try to pay her out in his shitty crypto currency.

Joyce's avatar

Maybe she would like a slightly used Qatar jet.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Complete with catering cart. . .

arne link's avatar

Wow

Really? Will he finally stop legal action and let her cash her check?

zuzu's avatar

There's nowhere else to go if SCOTUS tells him to fuck off.

She's also gotten her money, but has put it in an account while this plays out. If I'm not mistaken, he had to post a bond when he appealed, and that's how she was paid.

The $83 mil is the same - still working its way through, bond posted, he's lost, and just dragging it out to avoid having to admit defeat/pay her. It's going to be the same outcome.

Ellen H's avatar

A miracle in and of itself.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

LOL. Trump thinks SCOTUS is his pawn. He doesn't realize that he is Robert's pawn.

zuzu's avatar

Roberts is so damn concerned about his legacy, I wonder at what point he wakes up and realizes that Trump is dragging it down into the sewer.

Brett Beiner's avatar

Dr. Harm, Bill Cassidy, should be not have a moment’s peace while in public for the rest of his life. Hearing him complain about being lied to by RFK Jr, is an indictment on him for allowing himself to be lied to again, this time by Tod Blanche. He’s a liar telling us he was lied to. Take his fucking medical license.

Regarding Hakeem Jeffries, his true bosses don’t want him wasting money on the American taxpayer.

https://www.trackaipac.com/states/newyork?rq=Jeffries

David Simpson's avatar

Meh. His feefees are hurt over this and he’s likely already thrown a few ketchup bottles at the wall but this is A set up. Next, he’ll get his golden bordello. They think we’re stupid?! 😂

Jennifer's avatar
2hEdited

Blanche says Trumpy doesn’t give orders? Not one week ago did he throw a fit because Winebox dismissed the vandalism charges against the Olympian. Never mind the “tweet that was meant to be a text”

I cannot for the life of me understand why so many people have sold their soul for this repugnant piece of shit garbage man.

ETA since it's not OBVIOUSLY apparent, I'm not equating the orange POS to garbage men (and women) who pick up our trash. I'm saying he's a garbage. Man. As in "thinking I would insult hard working people is a garbage take." Capiche?

zuzu's avatar

He was making a lot more money as a law partner, and even as Donny's personal lawyer.

It's the power. He gets to put anyone in prison, investigate anyone, and he has the full power of the US government behind him.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Money or power? Why not both?

2Cats2Furious's avatar

There have to be better and more ethical options for making money. Becoming a drug lord, for example.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Must be a helluva drug.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

That's a VERY unfair statement.

Garbage men fulfill an important and respectable role.

Jennifer's avatar

LOL trump is a *garbage* man. Not a *garbage man.*

Mike Hammer's avatar

Because he hates the same people they do.

rlritt's avatar

Why is he still trying to get this poor guy, who did nothing? And its even on video that he did nothing.

Irascible Ink's avatar

Because that fact makes the lying pile of fly-covered shit look like the lying liar he fucking well is. I'm surprised he didn't whip out a sharpie and draw a Snidley Whiplash 'stache on the guy and go "see? See?? Bad person! Bad guy! Bad bad bad evil Antifa commie bastard!! Argle-bargle blah blah blargh!!!"

Jennifer's avatar

Because they are teaching their minions to distrust their very own eyes.

Bob Bowden's avatar

Garbage men have important jobs, and we thank them for their service. Please do not shame them by associating the dishonest orange wig-wearing sexual assault specialist in the Oval Bordello with their occupation

Jennifer's avatar

I'm not shaming anyone but trump. He's garbage, is the point. Like saying "that's a garbage take" he's a garbage man. cripes.

Norma's avatar

Bc somehow he stumbled into being the most powerful man in the world. On paper anyway. But believe me I ask myself this question every day

rlritt's avatar

It is weird considering he is even becoming unpopular with Republicans. I can only imagine he plans to stay in office and threaten anyone who tries to stop him with his masked ICE Gestapo.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Fatfuck has a blonde human binky

Who doesn't care that he's gross and stinky

Whereas Melania is ice

Mizz Natalie is nice

And may actually see his winky

Dave Drell's avatar

His widdle widdle winky!

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

You outdid yourself Doc!!!!

Hollie Rood's avatar

Did you mean to be that generous AuntTeeFa?

Suessl's avatar

She should be called Natalie Lewinsky.

Leu2500's avatar

re "Blanche used to be a good guy" when he worked at SDNY. Remember: the felon REVEALS who people are.

zuzu's avatar

I'm not sure I'd characterize prosecutors as "the good guys." Individual ones, yes. But there is a whole lot of cavalier disregard for suspects' rights and some offices are very, very loath to turn over exculpatory evidence despite it being constitutionally required.

Angie Longenecker's avatar

He brings out the worst in EVERYONE, most importantly those closest to him. And WTF is up with the diaper changer? Really sick.

Will's avatar

Ossoff never had any shits to give. He’s incredibly smart and articulate, and he’s bringin’ it.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

We need more like him. I’m hoping we can pick up some more progressive Senators after November. 🤞🤞

Fastball Fredo's avatar

“Even if you fire me Mr. President I will always love you” Todd, our newly minted AG and former criminal defense attorney for Donald…. Sworn in by judge Bove, Todd’s criminal defense law partner.. and that completes the circle.

HI2thDoc's avatar

🎶I will stay

And make sure to get in the way

Of each accuser

'Cuz you're an abuser

Pretty much every dayyy

And I-I-I will always love you

I will always love you,

My preznit, you

I know my job

Is to shine your knob

And keep you out of harm's way

And I-I-I will always love you

I will always love youuuu 🎶

Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂 Superb doc!

Hollie Rood's avatar

OMG-hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣

michellefromchicago's avatar

More like the worm ouroboros… but with multiple worms

Veronica Speedwell's avatar

is the diaper girl actually stepping off Marine One barefoot?

these people have zero understanding of dignity, gravitas and decorum. It's like they're two-digit-IQ teenagers off for a house party and joyride while the grownups are away.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

no, she's wearing low-slung yellow shoes — but it does look like she's barefoot

HI2thDoc's avatar

I'm surprised he doesn't make her wear stilettos. Or is that reserved for his dominatrix (Mel?)

HI2thDoc's avatar

As I step off the chopper

And into the grass

to follow after his waddling ass

Don't you troll on my low-slung yellow shoes

You can do anything but

Lay off my low-slung yellow shoes

You can make fun of me and my diaper bag

You can wonder why I don't even gag

Do anything you want to do

But lay off my low-slung yellow shoes

(So sorry, Elvis)

Steve in SoCal's avatar

She may have gone commando tho

Lady Emsworth's avatar

As long as he doesn't. . .

HI2thDoc's avatar

Wearing a diaper is not commando

Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂

DuduLovesBubu's avatar

Daddy does like his fingers doing the walking.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

Tiny, tiny fingers 👐

DJ Headthrob's avatar

But not (YET) barefoot, in the White House Kitchen and pregnant.

Veronica Speedwell's avatar

Ah, thanks. My computer screen resolution needs to be upgraded.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

I think the color is referred to as “nude,” meaning they can go with anything. Also, a nude pump is supposed to make your legs look longer.

Sheesh, Jeff. Read a fashion magazine once in a while!

Lisa Bieber's avatar

Jeff's right, she is wearing shoes. The multi-zipper-easy-access-dress says it all though.

Marion's avatar

Ugh all these R women dress like tarts

T L Mills's avatar

No--upon looking closely, Diaper Girl does appear to have beige pumps on. But who on Earth wears cut-out pumps with a casual chambray shirt dress, knowing that she will be stepping out of helicopter onto a grass lawn?? Wouldn't sandal flats been just as appropriate? Probably Big Daddy Depends doesn't like the look of women's feet unless said feet are encased in pointy high heel pumps--just like in the beauty pageants, hmmm?

zuzu's avatar

Maybe that's why he's making the helipad. So she doesn't have to get her high heels stuck in the grass.

Or so he doesn't have to stumble on it.

Angie Longenecker's avatar

Seriously, that would be the least of her offenses.

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

There once was a Blanchey named Todd

Who thought Donny Drumpfdouche was God

"He'll pay me big moneys

And thinks that he's funnies"

I'd rather take orders from scrod.

Yes! Scrod is a fish! Yes, that's right!

It's smarter than these two, all night

An orange-faced bloaty

The other a toady

On this country, they've caused quite a blight.

But morons like this cannot last

November comes, give 'em a blast

With Democrats winning

Republicans sinning

Let's kick them straight out on their ass!

HI2thDoc's avatar

There once was a liar named Todd

Who worshipped his orange god

He was too crooked to see

His idolatry

Was for a demon in a human bod

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Idolatry! Man.... dat's one a' dem nickel an' dime woids.

Dave Drell's avatar

Brilliant frosty ol’ boy!

A triple decker slammer!

💣💣💣

Victoria Wilson's avatar

Yeah We the People need more Ossoff, more Mamdani, more El Sayed and less luke warm compromise addled old/ semi/old men who are getting us exactly nothing that we have been asking for for years!

Angie Longenecker's avatar

We also need more AOCs. Many, many more.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Blanche showed what a shameless sycophant he was when he stood in front of the cameras and said “I love you, Sir” to Trump. Did these idiots actually think he was going to miraculously grow a spine or develop a set of ethics AFTER he had the job? I hate everyone! But I do love the Daily Claudia. Looking at the photos makes me realize how important it is to memorialize all the moments, big and small.

Diana Hembree's avatar

If Democrats sweep Congress in the mid-terms, they could impeach Blanche. It just seems so far away...

Mary Greenwald's avatar

Not with Jeffries et.al. in charge of the House. They are MAGA Democrats...trumpys in sheep's clothing.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

They are "decorum" democrats who refuse to open their eyes and acknowledge who their counterparts have become.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Yep. As my son says sadly of his Millennium Generation, "They were trained for a world that no longer exists."

Susan Niemann's avatar

MAGA Democrats. Yes they are!

Outdoorluvr's avatar

If they do that, exactly WHO is going to physically remove him? Or remove his head from trump's butt, as the case may be?

Veronica Speedwell's avatar

When trump won in 2024, many of us were of course freaking out, and an older friend -- head of a biomedical research unit at a major university -- patronizingly told us "don't worry, the courts will rein him in..." and a few of us retorted "and who is going to enforce any court orders?"

Well, here we are.

And my researcher friend is the one having meltdowns as he watches the irreparable devastation of labs that were finding therapies for cancer, macular degeneration, retina disease, autoimmune disorders, and so on.....

HI2thDoc's avatar

File his initial thoughts in the "Famous Last Words" drawer. My personal favorite is from Union General John Sedgwick, at the Battle of Gettysburg, paraphrasing slightly: What are you boys afraid of? Those rebel snipers couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-"

2Cats2Furious's avatar

The damage that Trump and his minions have caused to this country in under 2 years is incalculable.

Fuck RFK Jr., also too.

zuzu's avatar

They could. And then it would result in bupkis in the Senate, and he wouldn't be removed.

The strategic question is whether a public impeachment hearing and trial would do more harm than good if you know going in that he's not going to get 2/3 of the Senate to remove him. And would an acquittal in the Senate just embolden him?

There are grounds to impeach any or all of the cabinet officers and Trump. But who would be first, and are there any of them who might become more popular after an impeachment? It's a political process, so it has to be managed carefully.

Linda Silfven's avatar

Bill Cassidy can go to hell, along with the rest of the Republican traitors. We need Democratic FIGHTERS to stand up to the fascists and to fight for the people. Like Jon Ossoff, who is sounding more presidential with every speech he gives. That one was a doozy. AOC for Speaker!

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Gag. A swearing in, what a terrible reminder of the judicial elevation Emil Bove weaseled himself into.

Bet those two sleaze bags were out yukking it up together at Jr’s private pay to play club in Georgetown after.

Laughing at us of course.

The orange abomination has found his Roy Cohn.

Speaking of dead to me, where’s Mitch?

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

I’d like to know that too. No proof of life audio or video. What are they waiting for? It’s already well past August 3. He must be brain dead and they’re continuing to cover it up.

john palmieri's avatar

Jeff, I’ve been following you for years but only recently subscribed. You capture my anger and north jersey fuck-you asshole attitude. And your wife was beautiful, much like mine. So keep going after these scumbags and making us laugh with revenge in our hearts.

Sandra Waide's avatar

I truly appreciate what you write and share and I love the pictures of Claudia. The more I see pictures of her, the more I see a woman who was deeply loved. I also see a woman who could give you a look that said "that's enough Jeff" and it would stop you right in your tracks. We need more Claudias in today's world.

John Widdowson's avatar

No surprise about Blanche--he blurted out that he was donnies' personal attorney during his confirmation hearing and those dumb fuck Rapeublicans still voted to confirm.

Dave Drell's avatar

Of course, just following orders!