Todd Blanche fucking sucks

his appearance on Meet the Press proves it

believe it or not, Todd Blanche — Preznit Fuckwit’s hand-picked Attorney General — didn’t always totally fucking suck.

in fact, Blanche used to be one of the good guys. right out of law school, dude went to work for the Southern District of New York, eventually rising to become co-chief of the office’s violent crimes unit. for a time, he actually worked alongside Alvin Bragg. after leaving the SDNY, Blanche was a partner in various Wall Street law firms.

but in 2023, Todd chucked it all become Donny’s personal criminal attorney. Donny rewarded Todd’s unwavering loyalty by naming him to be his latest AG — and now, he will for the rest of his life be known as the sleazy weasel who allowed the Department of What Used To Be Justice to operate as Dear Leader’s own dedicated score-settling revenge factory.

the first thing you need to know about Todd Blanche is that he’s a lying liar who lies.

“the president does not expect any of his leaders, including me, to just say yes to him no matter what he says ... there’s this extraordinarily false narrative that the president wakes up and calls me and says, ‘Todd, go prosecute x or y.’ he does not do that. he has never done that. he will never do that.”

bull. fucking. shit, Todd. don’t piss on our heads and tell us it’s raining.

we all know that Donny expects all his Attorneys General to be his personal errand-boys and girls. we know this for a fact, because we all have eyes, and we all saw what he posted on his crappy app way back on September 20, 2025.

Pam: I have reviewed over 30 statements and posts saying that, essentially, “same old story as last time, all talk, no action. Nothing is being done. What about Comey, Adam “Shifty” Schiff, Leticia??? They’re all guilty as hell, but nothing is going to be done.”

first of all, we should thank our lucky stars that Donny is a fumble-fingered pus-bag who is too demented to be fully cognizant of what he’s doing, because that public post was supposed to be a private text. this is the kind of shit Donny orders his flunkies to get up to, when he thinks no one else is listening.

second, it’s really weird how immediately after Donny’s wasn’t-supposed-to-be-a-post, Pam Bondi opened investigations into James Comey, Adam Schiff and Letitia James. I guess that was just some bizarre fucking coincidence.

at least Pam Bondi used to pretend she was acting independently. Todd won’t even bother to do that.

Kristen Welker: “can you pledge the Justice Department will always act independently of the White House?”

Todd Blanche: “act independently of the White House? no, I’m not going to do that.”

Welker: “if the president asked you do to something that you feel crosses an ethical or legal line, would you do it?”

Blanche: “the president will never ask me to do something unethical or or illegal. he never has. he never will.”

look at that. Blanche repeats the lie that we just so easily batted down, about how Dear Leader would never ever ever EVER, he pinky-swears, ask Todd to do something unethical or illegal. oh, fucking please. this is Donny we’re talking about. the guy can’t go ten whole minutes without breaking some law.

what kind of fool does Todd Blanche take us for?

but worse than that, Blanche won’t commit to acting independently. what in the actual fuck? Todd Blanche just took a huge dump all over the Department of Justice’s fifty-year-long commitment to acting as a firewall to presidential fuckery.

let’s go back those fifty years, and find out why.

Todd Blanche might want to keep in mind that the last bro who shit all over the law in the service of his own Dear Leader ended up with his own mug shot.

John Mitchell was Richard Nixon’s AG. he spent nineteen months behind bars after being convicted of conspiracy, perjury, and obstruction of justice during the Watergate scandal.

all of Donny’s flunkies might want to keep Good Old John in their thoughts — because while the Supreme Court may have ruled that Donny is A Very Special Boy Who Gets To Crime All He Wants, they didn’t declare any of that shit for his underlings.

John Mitchell so disgraced his office that for fifty years, he was a shining example to all Attorneys General of how not to be.

but here comes Todd Blanche, and his shameful appearance on Meet the Press proved exactly why none of us wanted him confirmed as AG. he’s a bold-faced liar. he’s a moral and ethical void. he truly believes that his job is to be Donny’s personal score-settling revenge-monkey. he’s going to ratfuck exactly who Dear Leader tells him to. he’s going to prosecute exactly who Dear Leader tells him to, and he’s going to ruin a lot of innocent lives in the process.

he’s going to normalize a weaponized DOJ, and a president who treats the entire government as a his own person fiefdom.

fuck everyone who voted to confirm this shitweasel.

remember last week, how Senator Bill Cassidy believed he deserved a cookie for almost voting against Blanche?

fuck you, Bill. Todd Blanche’s appearance on Meet the Press proves exactly why you don’t get a cookie.

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oh, look — here comes House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries to teach a master class in how centrist Democrats can totally fucking suck, too, if they try hard enough.

Kristen Welker: “let’s move on to Medicare for All. you co-sponsored Medicare of All legislation from 2013 to 2021. you’ve not cosponsored it since you became Democratic Leader. will you put Medicare for All up for a vote, if you become Speaker?”

Hakeem Jeffries: “it’s not legislation that I currently am co-sponsoring or that I support, but we do support the notion we’ve got to find a path forward to fix our broken healthcare system.”

at some level, you have to admire Jeffries’ commitment to punching himself in the face.

if you listen to his entire two-minute long answer, and not just the part I transcribed, you’ll hear Hakeem Jeffries be both for and against Medicare for All, taking both sides and no side at the same time.

take a fucking stand, bro. what are you afraid of?

Medicare for All is popular. it’s necessary. almost every other civilized country on the planet has some form of it.

We the People are stick of this tepid bowl of oatmeal being fed to us by centrist Dems. write us a strongly-worded letter, why don’t you. We the People are tired of holding our noses and voting for mealy-mouthed cowards, because the only choice we have is either them or straight-up fascism.

We the People want Democrats who will inspire us. is that really too much to ask?

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we need more Democrats like today’s Hero of the Day: Jon Ossoff, who is absolutely unafraid to speak his mind.

“there’s something uniquely despicable about lying a nation into war. treating its citizens as fools, and those who serve as pawns. aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, they’ve now been at sea for 244-plus days, without a port call. it’s a Navy record. and still, they serve with excellence. God bless the sailors, marines, aviators, and all about the United States Ship Abraham Lincoln. see, they don’t expect luxury. they’ll endure hardship, but they deserve competent leaders who send them into combat only when necessary, and with decisive clarity of purpose — not fools who lie about the purpose and progress of war. and while the sailors on the Lincoln fight his war, while he fruitlessly drains our munitions and oil reserves, the president sleeps through his meetings. he golfs and trades stocks. see, he doesn’t want to do the job. he wants to build his ballroom and travel with Natalie on their apparently defenseless flying palace gifted by the Emir of Qatar.”

Jon Ossoff, fuck yeah.

and with that, I’m pretty certain that Ossoff becomes the first elected Democrat to publicly utter the name of Donny’s stalker-slash-diaper-nurse.

more like this, Democrats.

speaking of which, here’s Natalie, diaper bag at the ready, as she and her beloved stepped off Marine One yesterday evening, returning to the White House after the weekend they spent together at Donny’s New Jersey golf motel.

has anyone seen Melania lately?

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as Cole Porter famously wrote, ‘birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, let’s do it, let’s have us our Daily Claudia.’

here’s Ms Spouse in a trio from the Dobbs Ferry, NY restaurant Half Moon, on March 8, 2024.

have a great Monday, everyone. take a fucking stand.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.