three cheers for Jack Smith
the man who indicts war criminals in The Hague is not fucking around
for the second time this week, let’s put our Hero of the Day right up top. here he is: the man who indicts war criminals in The Hague.
because Americans have a collective attention span of about 23 seconds, Donny and his Republican enablers have been able memory-hole the entirely of the January 6th fuckery. the rioting, the cop-beating, the sacking of the Capitol — all of it has virtually disappeared from the national discourse, replaced with some bullshit fever-swamp fairy tale about how it was some kind of ‘peaceful protest’ against a ‘stolen election.’
fact check: fuck off.
Jack Smith testified before Congress yesterday. he was there to set the record straight.
Republicans — especially the shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan — pissed and moaned, trying and failing to discredit Smith by interrupting him, talking over him, and implying that he had some kind of personal vendetta against their beloved Dear Leader.
but you know what? fuck that noise. let’s let the man speak for himself.
“President Trump was charged because the evidence established that he willfully broke the law — the very laws he took an oath to uphold. grand juries in two separate districts reached this conclusion based on his actions, as alleged in the indictments they returned. rather than accept his defeat in the 2020 election, President Trump engaged in a criminal scheme to overturn the results and prevent the lawful transfer of power. after leaving office in January of ’21, President Trump illegally kept classified documents at his Mar-a-Lago social club, and repeatedly tried to obstruct justice to conceal his continued retention of those documents. highly sensitive national security information was held in a ballroom and bathroom. as I testify before the committee today, I want to be clear. I stand by my decisions as Special Counsel, including the decision to bring charges against President Trump. our investigation developed proof beyond a reasonable doubt that President Trump engaged in criminal activity. if asked whether to prosecute a former president based on the same facts today, I would do so regardless of whether that president was a Democrat or a Republican. no one — no one should be above the law in this country, and the law required that he be held to account, so that is what I did.”
in any sane world, Jack Smith would be a national hero, and our 34-count convicted felon president would have long ago been chucked straight the fuck into prison — but what can I say? shitty timelines gonna shitty timeline.
meanwhile, Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ brain and body seem to be locked in some sort of fucked-up Battle Royale to see which can completely collapse first.
Donny showed up at Davos yesterday with hideous bruise on his obviously swollen left hand.
Jesus. what the fuck happened there? the damned thing looks like it got slammed in a car door.
yeesh.
here’s how Donny and the White House waved it away:
reporter: “we saw the bruising on your hand. are you okay?”
Donny: “I’m very good. I clipped it on the table. So I put a little, uh— what do they call it — cream on it. but I clipped it. I would say take aspirin if you like your heart, but don’t take aspirin if you don’t want to have a little bruising. you know if you take the— I take the big aspirin. when you take the big aspirin, they tell you, you bruise. the doctors said, ‘you don’t have to take that, sir. you are very healthy.’ I said, ‘I’m not taking any chances.’ so anyway but that’s one of the side effects.”
thank god Donny lost interest and wandered away without bragging once again about pointing to the drawing of the camel.
I swear, talking to President Pudding Cup is like talking to a two-year-old. he can’t ever put anything in adult terms. it’s all dumbed-down. oh, you take the big-boy aspirin? and did you go boom-boom in your pants again?
fact check: yes, he did. we’ve all seen that look on a toddler’s face when — oh shit, he’s doing it right now, isn’t he?
you know, it’s really weird how Donny can magically regrow an ear but he can’t regrow his hand.
it’s too bad Donny can’t regrow his brain, either — because his cortex is fucking cooked.
“peace is so destructive for everyone. even countries that are not involved. it’s so destructive for everyone, when you have wars.”
now, I know what you’re going to ask next — and I’m sorry to report that no, no one won the What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™.
here’s why Donny had peace on what remains of his mind: yesterday was the big signing ceremony for his five-and-dime United Nations knock-off, the Board of Peace™ — Donny’s little foreign-policy grift where he gets to be Board president forever, gets to have veto power over everything, and gets to pocket each country’s billion-dollar initiation fee.
here are some of the countries who have signed on:
* Argentina * Armenia * Azerbaijan * Bahrain * Bulgaria * Hungary * Indonesia * Jordan * Kazakhstan * Kosovo * Mongolia * Morocco * Pakistan * Paraguay * Qatar * Saudi-Arabia * Turkey * United Arab Emirates * Uzbekistan
holy shit, it’s a Murder’s Row of autocracies, D-list fiefdoms, failed states, repressive kingdoms — and literal murderers.
tell me, is it bad optics when a charter member of your ‘peace board’ can’t show up for your signing ceremony because he’ll be arrested on the spot for war crimes?
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is on President Donald Trump’s so-called “Board of Peace” for Gaza. But he couldn’t attend the ceremony in Davos, Switzerland, on Wednesday because he’d likely be arrested for war crimes if he set foot in the country.
Prior to Davos, the Swiss government stated a firm commitment to arresting Netanyahu if he ever sets foot in its territory.
you know what you don’t see on that list? any of our allies.
that’s because anyone who isn’t a tinpot despot trying to curry favor with Dear Leader can see that this whole thing is both a sham and a scam all rolled into one.
European partners have expressed skepticism about the “Board of Peace” given the U.S. president’s decision to invite Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin, who’s engaged in a bloody war against Western ally Ukraine, and Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko, a close Putin ally and key enabler of that conflict.
so of course the White House did what it does best — they just outright lied their faces off about who had signed on.
Belgium would like it to be known that go fuck yourself, we didn’t agree to shit.
now, as always, I have a question. this Peace thing costs a billion dollars to join. over a dozen countries are already chipped in. that’s a fuckload of money — so why couldn’t anyone have hired a decent designer to create their logo?
look at this rinky-dink piece of shit. someone spent all of seven seconds typing ‘board of peace logo’ into a ChatGPT prompt.
have you noticed that everything Donny does is cheap and half-baked? of course you have — he’s the laziest fucksnot ever to have crapped a diaper in the Oval Bordello, and he puts the barest amount of effort into any task at hand. that is one huge reason why he fails at everything. he refuses to put in the work.
here’s a super fucking hilarious thing: there’s one guy who’s already been banned from joining of Donny’s Big-Boy He-Man Peace Club: Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney.
Donny is hella mad at Canada’s PM right now, because of Carney’s speech at Davos where he raked Donny over the coals for ‘rupturing the world order’ — and called for the end of American hegemony.
and so Donny reacted in the most Donny way possible — by throwing a shit-fit on social media.
he’s so mature.
and now we go live to Canada for its reaction to being disinvited from Donny’s sleazy peace grift.
oh wait, we have a second hero of the day: former Capitol Police Officer Michael Fanone.
Fanone put his life on the line January 6, suffering injuries in the process of protecting the yappy little shitweasels who now blame him and his colleagues for what happened.
Fanone was in the hearing room yesterday, in support of Jack Smith, as every Republican straight-up lied about what went on. when Trey Nehls had the utter fucking temerity to claim that the Capitol Police were at fault for the violence, Fanone lost his shit, cough-shouting “GO FUCK YOURSELF!”
I could not have said it better myself. none of us could have.
Fanone also got into an in-your-face screaming match with freelance piece of shit Ivan Raiklin.
and, lastly, today is the ‘Day of Truth & Freedom’ in Minnesota.
let’s all stand with the good people of Minnesota as they fight the fuckery.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
970 / 1059
sorry to post so late. this one was another bear to write. COULD THE TORRENT OF NEWS PLEASE SLOW DOWN AND LET ME CATCH MY BREATH?
Board of Piece. Piece of Venezuela, piece of Ukraine ….