this week in stupid: September 6 edition
Morning Joe blithers, Senator Kennedy dithers, and so much more...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: this space for rent
Monday was Labor Day, and, mercifully, stupid took the day off. stupid spent the entire day pining for the fjords.
so let’s move on.
tuesday: is this some kind of Morning Joke?
here’s a thing Illinois Governor JB Pritzger said recently: “to the media — I am asking for your courage to tell it like it is.”
a reasonable request, right? now let’s check in with Morning Joe and see if he’s listening.
“I actually think that JB Pritzger should do something radical. I think he should pick up the phone, call the president and say ‘you know and I know you don’t have the authority to deploy the national guard here … but let’s partner up. these are the most dangerous parts of my state, we would love to figure out how to have a partnership.’”
Morning Joe, can we talk? are you on drugs right now? are you higher than a fucking kite? what’s this nonsense about how Pritzker should pick up the phone and say ‘please come to my state and do a fascism?’
do you live in the real world, Joe? how do you not understand that Donny’s police state isn’t about law and order? it’s about a naked show of force for the sake of it.
Joe, what do you imagine is going to happen if JB is all ‘hey there, pardner — go ahead, invade the shit out of Chicago’? they’re going to become fast friends, as they fight imaginary crime together? and then what? Donny and JB go off into the fog, and have wonderful adventures together?
what other great ideas have you got up that sleeve of yours, Morning Joe? should Gavin Newsom give Donny a ring and say ‘hey, prezzy baby, let’s you and me go up to Canada and open that big fucking faucet together, whattaya say, homey?’
Joe, could you please, at long last, fuck all the way off? we’ve got a country here in need of saving. we don’t have time for your pie-in-the-sky kumbaya bullshit.
thank you for your attention to this matter, Joe.
wednesday: in space, no one can hear you spew stupid shit
and now we interrupt ‘this week in stupid’ with an urgent message from Senator John Kennedy: don’t become an alien!
“this is a photograph of the alien from the movie Alien. this is what you could end up looking like if you eat some of the raw, frozen shrimp being sent to the United States by other countries. now let me tell you what I’m talking about. in late August, the FDA found that raw, frozen shrimp from Indonesia was being sold in Walmart. if you eat it, how could you end up looking like the alien in the Alien? because the shrimp was radioactive, I kid you not. it had a radioactive isotope in it called Caesium 137. it’ll kill you. even if it doesn’t turn you into the alien, if you eat this stuff, I guarantee you’ll grow an extra ear.”
and you may ask yourself, ‘what the fuck is the Esteemed Senator Mushmouth gibbering about?’
this:
The 2025 radioactive shrimp recall began on 18 August 2025, when the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) issued a statement that shipments of shrimp from Indonesia had been contaminated by caesium-137. This initial report indicated that none of the contaminated shrimp had entered the marketplace; an update, on 19 August, stated that three batches sold under the Walmart store brand Great Value had been distributed after a lack of prior detection.
got that? the FDA discovered a problem, and issued a recall. the FDA did its job, and government worked as it should. no injuries have been reported.
this is the same FDA, by the way, that will no longer be able to do its job, once Republicans get through destroying it.
so, why does Kennedy feel the need to take an unremarkable news item and crank the ‘stupid’ dial so far that it snaps off in his hand? because he’s a fearmongering buffoon, that’s why. it’s all for show. Kennedy is an actual Oxford-educated Rhodes Scholar who pretends to be a moron in order to pander to the rubes who vote for him. they eat that shit up.
Kennedy’s proud of his Cornpone McYokel act. he actually tweeted it out on Elon’s Nazi Bar.
“I guarantee you’ll grow an extra ear.”
seriously? is that how Dear Leader magically grew his all-shot-to-fuck ear back? by eating Indonesian shrimp?
thursday: who’s ‘we,’ bro?
look who’s come to the defense of kidnapped dead bear cub aficionado Bobby Brainworms. it’s the Fox News found object, Jesse Watters. according to Jesse, here’s why we need Bobby to head the Department of Health and Human Services.
“we’re the fattest, sickest and most mentally ill we’ve ever been.”
fact check:
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
some fucking idiot held a press conference on Friday, during which he and his piss-drunk dunk-tank-clown bestie announced that they were changing the name of the Department of Defense to the Department of War — as one does when you’re thirsty for a Nobel Peace Prize.
the fucking idiot then invited his dunk-tank bestie to do a little rapping.
the fucking idiot then blamed the loss of the Vietnam war on all the ‘wokey.’
the fucking idiot then bragged about his fuckity-bye-ing of eleven Venezuelan civilians, who Donny eighty-sixed because he had a feeling that they might be doing crimes.
the fucking idiot then predicted the economy he destroyed will be good two years from now, which is totally weird, because up to now he’s been bragging about shit like how he’s brought the price of drugs down by a skillionty percent.
the fucking idiot then threatened to send the National Guard to Portland, because he saw something on TV.
wait — let’s fact check that last bit.
oh, that is lovely. the fucking idiot was glued to Fox News, and they shows clips from Portland protests four years ago — and because the fucking idiot is a demented old fool who can’t discern fact from fantasy, he’s now going to do a fascism in Portland.
how fucking stupid is that?
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
831 / 920
here's your Saturday stupid:
"West Point alumni group cancels award ceremony for Tom Hanks"
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2025/09/06/tom-hanks-west-point/
The alumni association at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point has canceled an award ceremony for actor and veterans advocate Tom Hanks, citing a desire for the Army service academy to focus on preparing future officers for war after several political controversies involving the Trump administration shook the institution this year.
Retired Army Col. Mark Bieger, president and chief executive officer of the West Point Association of Graduates, disclosed the decision in an email to faculty circulated Friday. A copy of Bieger’s message was reviewed and verified by The Washington Post."
The person who ordered a missile strike on 11 noncombatants in a speed boat without warning 2000 miles from the US mainland was most likely Rear Admiral Carlos Sardiello. Killing these people in this manner is first degree murder in times of peace, and a violation of the officers oath not to follow illegal orders.