I really can’t express to you how much appreciate you. It’s not just the daily gems you write. It’s also the community you’ve created among your readers. This is one of the few places I feel safe speaking my mind without mincing any words.
Your daily comment is a work of art, that’s what makes it so special! I thought that was spray paint not mace the first eleventy times I watched it. And I want that hat to confuse the magats with truth. The truth is out there, and it’s sharpened here. Thank you, again. A good day to you and Mrs Spouse!
I finally got online after finding out my daughter's wedding has been called off. Typical for this week. So, Jeff, I just want you to know that I was able to laugh (hysterically at times) at a couple of your comments. Thank you. "Brenden seems nice." And the oral diarrhea pouring out of Pres. Nutjob's pie-hole I could almost laugh at, but not quite. But I didn't cry. And what the fuck is wrong with Christian Nationalists? Are they really human?
I began watching part of a video of frump's personal IN-house one, Paula White literally declare HERSELF 'god'. That did it for me. I'm not a god worshiper, not that anyone here would be overly surprised given my background, but the very idea that this crazy lunatic would scream that when SHE SPEAKS ~ GOD IS SPEAKING! (shades of my own mother) made me question why IF there was a real one, a lightning bolt hadn't come clean through that ceiling and SMOTE her.
I think somewhere on a much different level , another plane, another universe there is a wide body of souls in a non-physical space...and who or what is exactly in charge of that realm is anyone's guess. Will find out when the time is appropriate. For now, I'm not clinging on to any man-made theories about God. hahah...I am spiritual and try to be good on Earth and try not to kill anyone during my stay here. LOL
Hopefully nobody 'in charge'. Why would there be, especially after shuffling off THIS mortal coil where we have to go through so much pain and angst? At LEAST we (those of us who don't hurt or kill others and even doing good!) deserve to handle whatever 'might' come after with SOME autonomy and REAL freedom. IF there's such a place, I sure hope frump and his ilk are elsewhere - he can go to Mars or, even better: the SUN where he and they can burn up on entry. Heck, they just might consider it being 'raptured' for a half-second? (Excuse my flight of fancy...your post triggered some ideas.) ;)
Don't forget, the televangelists are rich. So strongly do Americans want to feel god at their side, they'll listen to someone who makes them think they're doing the right thing. As an aside, most of the "inspirational" christian television programming I've seen is such utter useless fodder, that I question what religious americans are thinking, nothing it looks like. Anyway, you're a rich preacher with a TV show, and people shower money on them, becuz, well becuz of JEEZUS. The typical rich are wealthy not because they're smart and working hard, they're wealthy because they found a way to make lots of money, and being a shyster and telling people what they want to hear is one of the best ways to make big bucks. Even in high tech, getting venture money is no harder than a foil deck, and confidence delivery. Intelligence, education, awareness, screw that, just need that special formula to make people give you money. Just give it to them. Nothing in return. Zero. Zilch. To quote Yakov Smirnoff, "What a Country!"
Oh, I'm SO glad! Jeff's humour does that for me too. I find myself giggling or even chortling (my dogs look at me funny when I do 'that' - then each other 'what's that strange sound our hooman is making, should we be worried'?) Occasionally it IS also (for me) at the most inopportune times, which turn out to be - as with you, a blessing. I suspect so many of us are actually related but don't know it - since we all react similarly to Jeff's wit - and each other!
That was particularly idiotic. The peedo in chief really does have dementia and very little interest in America. I can't help but wonder how much he's grifting from the little Versailles ballroom. Also, the Epstein files must be released.
I really admire how well you keep it together in the face of the never ending bullshit firehouse of these times. You keep the rest of us (relatively) sane. Thank you so much, my friend! Take very good care of yourself! ❤️
MY thoughts exactly. Thank you for saying it so well Cheri. Methinks if Jeff and Mrs. Spouse wanted to run for office they'd have a built-in constituency and so many of us who'd work for free! It's long past time for the " 'I'm going to say FUCK and I don't give a FUCK if you don't like it' Party". Frump says it all the time yet they let HIM skate so why not one of our own?
I SO hoped she'd do it again OR fly into yet another Karen rage and trip over her own feet - or something. Wasn't that one of the protesters showing real concern for her now-painfully-maced eyes? In a nutshell, the difference.
But you still made me laugh Jeff. And that is one of God’s greatest gifts. My husband and I have been watching SpongeBob SquarePants in the evenings. (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
Perhaps it's from that song: 'Lavender Blue, dilly dilly, Lavender Blue - and so on with some VERY suspicious lyrics from a magat POV. Y'know, I'd seriously wonder about ol' Brenden and his 'get thee to the kitchen, woman' ideas which remind me of l'il holy mikey johnson and HIS dominionist submissive wifey - after his adopted son magically vanished. In fact I'm quite curious about CK's 'instructions' to Taylor Swift(!) for her to 'submit to her husband' (she's barely engaged). What IS IT with these weird right-wingers about 'submitting' and 'hie thee to the kitchen'? Is there something going on inside the cupboards WE don't yet know about? Enquiring minds and all that.
Thanks, Susan. You too! We all desperately need a calm weekend for a change. I came into the comments to mention the Karl Marx bit, so thank you for mentioning it already. Funniest bit today, Jeff! Thanks.
With me it's a hot cuppa tea or my vita coco drink, but ALWAYS something to choke with laughter on. I try not to even sip my normal water when reading....never know what's about to come up next. 'Jesse Watters found object' is still one of my very favourites. What a TOOL that in-love-with-himself fool is.
The MAGA cult went certifiably crazy this week—not that they weren’t crazy before—but this week I saw a really scary shift in them, and I’m not even talking about the politicians. I’m referring to private citizens, some of whom live right here in my neighborhood. The vitriol and the threats I was reading ;when they thought the killer was a “leftist wing nut” reached another level. And of course, now that we know, he was a white, Christian male from a conservative family, we hear crickets. No retraction, no apologies.,.nada! It’s the first time that I actually feel unsafe speaking my mind.
You honestly could have written: 'I wish we had a president'. NO ONE has ever been this horrid, racist, bigoted, misogynistic and downright DELIBERATELY divisive, accusing half our country of being treasonous and awful when every bit of that applies to him!
I refuse to consider Trump a President. A President "takes care that the laws are faithfully executed": he doesn't pick and choose which laws he likes, or make laws by his own whim. A President is our servant, not our boss, but Trump cannot be any kind of public servant because the concept of "service" is beyond his understanding. He was not constitutionally eligible to run, having been found to be an insurrectionist: the Constitution is explicit that appeal from such a finding is direct to the Congress and nowhere else, with zero role for the Supreme Court, which arrogated to itself a political power it is not entitled to, as in Bush v. Gore. The Presidency has been vacant since late January, when our constitutional republic ended. I hope it can be restored.
I don't take anything - I'm just a naturally late-night person and occasionally get my best thoughts at 2 - 3a.m. then am surprised that everyone else is asleep and uninterested. Hmph.
I have a long history of insomnia and there's very few nights when I'm not up by 2 and always by 3. I like that time. The world is asleep and my creativity is strong. Of the hundreds of essays I've posted on my two stacks, the majority were written before 5 am
Trump says “they’ve been trying for about 150 years to get” a ballroom. 150 years? Hmm. Maybe he’s confused about that time LBJ asked the Haggar slacks guy for more ball room.
I'd doubt even Democratic presidents would want to waste that kind of money. Better to divide it into meeting rooms, other GOOD uses: hey, a place for staffers' day care for children as well? Who the fuck wants a BALLROOM nowadays except the gaudy conman grifter with his demand to imprint HIS crudeness onto OUR White House!
This is a great segue to the rumored Secret Second Cold War of the Sixties when Haggar and Sansabelt vied for the bragging rights of who could accommodate LBJ's large, ahem, anatomy. This cold war was less end-of-the-world than the other one and much more interesting.
I do remember that he had no problem conducting presidential business while seated on the porcelain throne. Was that what got taped? Crude man, but at least he succeeded in efforts to remake much of our social supports. Until Reagan and his myth of the Cadillac driving welfare mother.
Luckily, it was in the Oval Office. His days after the White House were kind of sad. He’d have a morning meeting on his ranch, but it wasn’t as if the staff didn’t know what to do. All presidents are a mixed bag, the ratio of good to shit is what matters.
"they fell into an airspace". Is that like "throwing something 'away' "? The concept eludes me. Is there a tear or portal or whatever in the time-space continuum that disappears things as though they never existed? Why have I never seen this wonderful thing? Enquiring minds want to know!! Think how useful a thing like that would be....we could put all the plastic clogging up the oceans in there, and--POOF!
Can confirm the existence of a tear in the time-space continuum. It’s a black hole that regularly disappears my reading glasses, cigarette lighters, and TV remote control.
Honestly! I sometimes think that there is someone secretly living in my house and moving stuff around. Sometimes I think I get a glimpse of them out of the corner of my eye...
Hmm. My husband has never thought of using my phone. I don't do cell phones because I don't like to be tracked. It's a leftover from the Sixties and Seventies when J Edgar Hoover was still alive.
I think there's a portal. I'm almost certain and the rubes are having a feeding frenzy with each other. Snapping at each other's tiny nuts while they're wives are cooking up stuff.
Yes there is whatever dear leader says must be so Levtistupidis 11: If dear leader says it then let there be misc. portals swallowing thy drones. Thanks God because we were thinking #25 for his ass’ .
Fell into an airspace? From ChatGPT: There is credible evidence that some of the Gerbera drones used in the incursion had been modified with additional fuel capacity (nose fuel tanks). That suggests an intent or capability to increase range.
The deepest confirmed penetration so far is ~240 km from the border (Łódź province), with debris in central Poland. So they flew quite far in. Because of the modifications, it now appears plausible that these drones were designed to reach more interior regions of Poland.
Pastor Webbon missed the parable of the Good Samaritan if he ever did read the New Testament, and much, much more. As a Christian parent, teach your kids to fear Blacks? The label “Christian” needs to be replaced with something accurate.
Drop the term "Christian." The Christ I learned about would throw these evil people out of the temple faster than he ousted the grifters and the like from the Pharisees' temple.
Whose Governor SO hoped 'it was a migrant' who shot Kirk. Ruminate on that for a second or two. He had seemed to come across fairly sincerely in his wish for peace and unity - until I heard THAT. Zo - peace and unity for we white Utahns but not for thee. Got it.
At least he was honest about not wanting it to be a member of his tribe that killed Kirk. I hoped the shooter was not trans, gay, immigrant, etc., because of backlash against those groups already seen as dangerous.
In London today there was a massive right wing “unity” rally. Unity of whites against immigrants, especially Muslim immigrants, was the kind of unity promoted.
Eggsactly! Why are you bothering him with “issues” and “problems” and things that he SHOULD. be doing, instead of playing fake golf and sleeping the rest of the day.
Today is my 76th birthday and I am afraid, not of wrinkles and broken bones, but of the future.
My wish is that everyone experience life as I have - full of possibilities, joy overflowing, laughter, rewarding work, love and most of all - freedom.
The darkness saddens me. But there is a star that is growing brighter. It is you, Jeff and all the passionate, smart and ever so clever folks who follow you. We do what needs to be done. In our own way, but we do it.
Yes - have a wonderful birthday - rest your thoughts, enjoy the music which makes you happy and ignore the magat cult craziness - even if only for today, YOUR special day. We all need to take a breather once in a while (even Jeff who doesn't seem to be able to, so I worry). ENJOY!
I’m actually glad Trump is allowing the squirrel in his brain to lead the conversation and that he leaves on the weekend to cheat at golf. He does less damage to the country that way. Imagine if he were as savvy as Putin. We wouldn’t stand a chance.
We could call it sun upping. I think at this point his dementia is present 24 hours a day. We're going to feel it really big. Lord, if you're listening please take him.
As always, you hit it out of the park today. Perhaps it’s just me, but Trump‘s comments on Fox News seemed even more psychotic than previously. I’m wondering if this has anything to do with what Simon Rosenberg has proposed – that during Trump‘s absence of a week, he had a stroke. The photos of him at a 9/11 commemoration show a distinct drooping on the right side of his face. This has not been confirmed, of course. So I don’t claim it as fact. In any case, he seems to be deteriorating further. One wonders what it would take to remove him from office on health grounds. He could probably be crawling on the floor, mumbling to cockroaches and no one would do anything.
folks, every now and then we get a week where there's very little funny and way too much horrible, and this was one of those weeks
I really can’t express to you how much appreciate you. It’s not just the daily gems you write. It’s also the community you’ve created among your readers. This is one of the few places I feel safe speaking my mind without mincing any words.
Same here…I’ve met truly wonderful people here. 🥰
Amen
Agree
Me two - or three, or four,5,6 to infinitum. :)
Come over to Wonkette in addition to here. You'll find a warm supportive community there and Uncle Jeff shows up occasionally too.
LOVE Wonkette… been reading there a lot lately!
Very true. Being married to a maga (no red hat). This is my place, right here to respond, and laugh.
As always, you do such a fine job with what you're given.
You must have been a copywriter in the ad biz. Always challenging.
I was an art director. Ms Spouse was a copywriter.
Your daily comment is a work of art, that’s what makes it so special! I thought that was spray paint not mace the first eleventy times I watched it. And I want that hat to confuse the magats with truth. The truth is out there, and it’s sharpened here. Thank you, again. A good day to you and Mrs Spouse!
The creative runs deep in the Tiedrich household, then. 👏👏👏
If you ain't eating Wham, you ain't eating ham!
But you have to admit that Monday's segment was hilarious. Shame the rest of the week had to be so shitty.
I really thought it was referring to self appointed genitalia inspector Nancy Mace
I hoped it was, anyway! That would have been hilarious.
That should be her lifetime title.
You always find a way to help us smile through the shit storm. Thank you for covering the nonsense.
But you always wrap up this bad shit in complete absurdity and insult the hell out of these morons in your unique way, that makes me laugh.
I'm sitting in an ER reception area and you had me LOL—not the usual behavior for someone here. I needed this. Thank you!!
I finally got online after finding out my daughter's wedding has been called off. Typical for this week. So, Jeff, I just want you to know that I was able to laugh (hysterically at times) at a couple of your comments. Thank you. "Brenden seems nice." And the oral diarrhea pouring out of Pres. Nutjob's pie-hole I could almost laugh at, but not quite. But I didn't cry. And what the fuck is wrong with Christian Nationalists? Are they really human?
for those American televangelists, their racism and ignorance is astronomical in scope and goes beyond the bend of space.
I began watching part of a video of frump's personal IN-house one, Paula White literally declare HERSELF 'god'. That did it for me. I'm not a god worshiper, not that anyone here would be overly surprised given my background, but the very idea that this crazy lunatic would scream that when SHE SPEAKS ~ GOD IS SPEAKING! (shades of my own mother) made me question why IF there was a real one, a lightning bolt hadn't come clean through that ceiling and SMOTE her.
I think somewhere on a much different level , another plane, another universe there is a wide body of souls in a non-physical space...and who or what is exactly in charge of that realm is anyone's guess. Will find out when the time is appropriate. For now, I'm not clinging on to any man-made theories about God. hahah...I am spiritual and try to be good on Earth and try not to kill anyone during my stay here. LOL
Hopefully nobody 'in charge'. Why would there be, especially after shuffling off THIS mortal coil where we have to go through so much pain and angst? At LEAST we (those of us who don't hurt or kill others and even doing good!) deserve to handle whatever 'might' come after with SOME autonomy and REAL freedom. IF there's such a place, I sure hope frump and his ilk are elsewhere - he can go to Mars or, even better: the SUN where he and they can burn up on entry. Heck, they just might consider it being 'raptured' for a half-second? (Excuse my flight of fancy...your post triggered some ideas.) ;)
Don't forget, the televangelists are rich. So strongly do Americans want to feel god at their side, they'll listen to someone who makes them think they're doing the right thing. As an aside, most of the "inspirational" christian television programming I've seen is such utter useless fodder, that I question what religious americans are thinking, nothing it looks like. Anyway, you're a rich preacher with a TV show, and people shower money on them, becuz, well becuz of JEEZUS. The typical rich are wealthy not because they're smart and working hard, they're wealthy because they found a way to make lots of money, and being a shyster and telling people what they want to hear is one of the best ways to make big bucks. Even in high tech, getting venture money is no harder than a foil deck, and confidence delivery. Intelligence, education, awareness, screw that, just need that special formula to make people give you money. Just give it to them. Nothing in return. Zero. Zilch. To quote Yakov Smirnoff, "What a Country!"
Yowch! SO hope it's for HER good reasons. Been there (not in your shoes, but hers).
Oh, I hope you - or a loved one is ok! Keep laughing, it's a great pain chaser-away (at least momentarily, I can aver).
That's so kind of you, Elizabeth. It was my wife, and she's fine now. Thank you for reaching out.
And Jeff's post was exactly what I needed at that time. He did chase pain away!
Oh, I'm SO glad! Jeff's humour does that for me too. I find myself giggling or even chortling (my dogs look at me funny when I do 'that' - then each other 'what's that strange sound our hooman is making, should we be worried'?) Occasionally it IS also (for me) at the most inopportune times, which turn out to be - as with you, a blessing. I suspect so many of us are actually related but don't know it - since we all react similarly to Jeff's wit - and each other!
Lots of stupid this week. Starting with Kash Patel
Yes, but "they fell into an airspace" is tip-top.
That was particularly idiotic. The peedo in chief really does have dementia and very little interest in America. I can't help but wonder how much he's grifting from the little Versailles ballroom. Also, the Epstein files must be released.
Arne: you're much too kind. Let's rewrite 'very little' to 'ZERO' interest to be far more factual. ;)
I mean......ummmmm........yes.
If I were still teaching, I would absolutely take my students aside and tell them this EXCELLENT excuse for not having their homework.
I was thinking that as I read your column. Nothing funny about this week’s events
Maybe not, but we at least got to see another example or two or maybe even three of how republicans never think about or understand consequences.
I really admire how well you keep it together in the face of the never ending bullshit firehouse of these times. You keep the rest of us (relatively) sane. Thank you so much, my friend! Take very good care of yourself! ❤️
MY thoughts exactly. Thank you for saying it so well Cheri. Methinks if Jeff and Mrs. Spouse wanted to run for office they'd have a built-in constituency and so many of us who'd work for free! It's long past time for the " 'I'm going to say FUCK and I don't give a FUCK if you don't like it' Party". Frump says it all the time yet they let HIM skate so why not one of our own?
Other than the so called pastor I laughed my ass off. What else are we going to do!
Still the way the news was delivered was funny and that's something. It's *something.*
I thought you did some good funny.
True but you raised above it - thanks to the MAGA lady at the top
I SO hoped she'd do it again OR fly into yet another Karen rage and trip over her own feet - or something. Wasn't that one of the protesters showing real concern for her now-painfully-maced eyes? In a nutshell, the difference.
But you still made me laugh Jeff. And that is one of God’s greatest gifts. My husband and I have been watching SpongeBob SquarePants in the evenings. (⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️)
check out @spongebob on X. 😎 ✌🏼☮️
"I’ve got Karl Marx on the phone. he says he’s got a cool new hat that he wants to send you." That Image made me spit coffee...😂😂😂 SO GOOD!
Katie Britt would serve us all if she would make us all a sandwich. How in the hell did this woman get elec... oh never mind.
Brenden Dilly? Thankfully I've never heard of this simple minded lunatic.
Have a calm weekend, all you fine people. ✌️
I find it hilarious he couldn't come up with a better name than "The Dilly Show"
I guess it's "ha ha just like 'The Daily Show'" but I don't remember TDS being just Jon Stewart sitting in a dark studio yelling bigoted shit
And all that oink (oops), pink!! I found that to be interesting. 🤔
How about Dilly Dally?
Dilly Dull-ly, maybe?
Perhaps it's from that song: 'Lavender Blue, dilly dilly, Lavender Blue - and so on with some VERY suspicious lyrics from a magat POV. Y'know, I'd seriously wonder about ol' Brenden and his 'get thee to the kitchen, woman' ideas which remind me of l'il holy mikey johnson and HIS dominionist submissive wifey - after his adopted son magically vanished. In fact I'm quite curious about CK's 'instructions' to Taylor Swift(!) for her to 'submit to her husband' (she's barely engaged). What IS IT with these weird right-wingers about 'submitting' and 'hie thee to the kitchen'? Is there something going on inside the cupboards WE don't yet know about? Enquiring minds and all that.
Britt: gerrymandering. That’s how we got all the maga idiots in Congress.
Just appalling... the cheating, lying. If they had to win an election fairly, they couldnt do it.
Britt is a Senator, elected statewide. We got an idiot Senator from Alabama because, well....
Thanks, Susan. You too! We all desperately need a calm weekend for a change. I came into the comments to mention the Karl Marx bit, so thank you for mentioning it already. Funniest bit today, Jeff! Thanks.
Katie Britt has been serving us a shit sandwich for a long time.
😂😂😂
You too, Susan! 💙
I suppose that a person with a name like Brenden Dilly was destined to be an idiot. I'm sure he was bullied as a child.
Karl Marx on the phone was a good one!🤓
🤣🤣✌️
A ham sandwich from Katie for all of us. LOL, Susan!
My husband makes one for me almost every day. I guarantee they are better than hers.
My husband's a retired chef. He'll make me anything I want and I still eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner sometimes.
Yes, if I have to do something for myself, it's peanut butter and jelly.
You’ve got him well trained, I see
😂😂 Katie is pretty freaky. UGH.
Gotta say: we have lots of coffee-spitters in this community 😂
For sure...one minute you're casually enjoying that blueberry muffin, the next you choke on your coffee. 🤣🤣
Maybe not safe to read Jeff while eating or drinking!!
Absolutely! 😄
With me it's a hot cuppa tea or my vita coco drink, but ALWAYS something to choke with laughter on. I try not to even sip my normal water when reading....never know what's about to come up next. 'Jesse Watters found object' is still one of my very favourites. What a TOOL that in-love-with-himself fool is.
Yes. You’d think people would have figured it out by now but No 👎 We still get a report of at least one coffee spitter every column.
I've got Groucho Marx on the phone. He said: "Those are the most ridiculous things he's ever seen!"🥸🥸🥸😂😂
I can’t even 🤦🏼♀️
The MAGA cult went certifiably crazy this week—not that they weren’t crazy before—but this week I saw a really scary shift in them, and I’m not even talking about the politicians. I’m referring to private citizens, some of whom live right here in my neighborhood. The vitriol and the threats I was reading ;when they thought the killer was a “leftist wing nut” reached another level. And of course, now that we know, he was a white, Christian male from a conservative family, we hear crickets. No retraction, no apologies.,.nada! It’s the first time that I actually feel unsafe speaking my mind.
Perfectly understandable. The upside is that the vast majority of diehard Trump supporters are just as cowardly and full of crap as their heathen idol
Thank you. I needed this reminder. 🥰
You’re welcome! It’s easy to forget this point because Maga people are so noisy and relentless
We hear the same reaction they had to Melissa Hortman’s murder by one of theirs.
It's wild they tried to get ahead of the news cycle with their "it's the left" claims.
I wish we didn't have a president that tried to divide us all so much.
You honestly could have written: 'I wish we had a president'. NO ONE has ever been this horrid, racist, bigoted, misogynistic and downright DELIBERATELY divisive, accusing half our country of being treasonous and awful when every bit of that applies to him!
I refuse to consider Trump a President. A President "takes care that the laws are faithfully executed": he doesn't pick and choose which laws he likes, or make laws by his own whim. A President is our servant, not our boss, but Trump cannot be any kind of public servant because the concept of "service" is beyond his understanding. He was not constitutionally eligible to run, having been found to be an insurrectionist: the Constitution is explicit that appeal from such a finding is direct to the Congress and nowhere else, with zero role for the Supreme Court, which arrogated to itself a political power it is not entitled to, as in Bush v. Gore. The Presidency has been vacant since late January, when our constitutional republic ended. I hope it can be restored.
He’s way past the trying stage. He has succeeded BIGLY!
He's done Putin's work for many years. Now Putin is ghosting him and he's oh so sad. Can you die of a broken heart?
No, I think all his pretend frustration with Putin is just cover so we don't notice that he doesn't do anything against Putin, ever.
Maybe Kirk’s death is what he meant by “abortion after the ninth month”. If so, there’s a whole lotta right wingers doing the aborting.
To summarize: Kirk's assassination was a horrible act by a horrible person against another horrible person.
But let's talk about the Epstein files!
Charlie Kirk would have wanted that. I mean it.
Personally I want proof, ballistics and forensics that his rifle was the one.
Good one JT - I was thinking a lot of the Donny Dachau character and here’s what i came up with:
1. He’s as useless as a pimple on a boar’s ass.
2.When he enters a room, he’s about as welcome as a bean fart on a crowded elevator.
3. 99% of the people in the world would rather listen to a crying baby for 12 hours than to him blabber on for 5 minutes…the other 1% are deaf.
4. As a human being, he is so cold & heartless, that if launched into the sun, its fire would be extinguished in 10 minutes.
5. When asked of life’s disappointments, the most frequent response was that his father didn’t wear a condom.
I'm with Dana Jae. This is a great collection of thoughts. It belongs on a poster.
Excellent, Dave!
You never know what the brain comes up with at one AM.
I take Lunesta for that long early a.m. stretch, but it doesn't work and early morning is great for creativity
I don't take anything - I'm just a naturally late-night person and occasionally get my best thoughts at 2 - 3a.m. then am surprised that everyone else is asleep and uninterested. Hmph.
I have a long history of insomnia and there's very few nights when I'm not up by 2 and always by 3. I like that time. The world is asleep and my creativity is strong. Of the hundreds of essays I've posted on my two stacks, the majority were written before 5 am
Kudos. I loved #4
"As a human being, he is so cold & heartless, that if launched into the sun, its fire would be extinguished in 10 minutes"
🤣🤣🤣
Trump says “they’ve been trying for about 150 years to get” a ballroom. 150 years? Hmm. Maybe he’s confused about that time LBJ asked the Haggar slacks guy for more ball room.
😂😂😂😂
OMG this is great Bob. Lol!
Can we the people tear it down when he is gone?!?!
I'd doubt even Democratic presidents would want to waste that kind of money. Better to divide it into meeting rooms, other GOOD uses: hey, a place for staffers' day care for children as well? Who the fuck wants a BALLROOM nowadays except the gaudy conman grifter with his demand to imprint HIS crudeness onto OUR White House!
This is a great segue to the rumored Secret Second Cold War of the Sixties when Haggar and Sansabelt vied for the bragging rights of who could accommodate LBJ's large, ahem, anatomy. This cold war was less end-of-the-world than the other one and much more interesting.
Thanks to LBJ’s taping system, the secret was, uh, exposed.
I do remember that he had no problem conducting presidential business while seated on the porcelain throne. Was that what got taped? Crude man, but at least he succeeded in efforts to remake much of our social supports. Until Reagan and his myth of the Cadillac driving welfare mother.
Luckily, it was in the Oval Office. His days after the White House were kind of sad. He’d have a morning meeting on his ranch, but it wasn’t as if the staff didn’t know what to do. All presidents are a mixed bag, the ratio of good to shit is what matters.
That’s why, of course, it was a cold🥶war!
😂😂😂😂😂
😂🤣😂
🤣🤣
"they fell into an airspace". Is that like "throwing something 'away' "? The concept eludes me. Is there a tear or portal or whatever in the time-space continuum that disappears things as though they never existed? Why have I never seen this wonderful thing? Enquiring minds want to know!! Think how useful a thing like that would be....we could put all the plastic clogging up the oceans in there, and--POOF!
They came out of the portal that exists in the back of the dryer, where one of every pair of socks goes.
As I write this, there are three lonely socks sitting on top of my dresser, pining for their mates
The “matching socks” thing is SO overrated:)
Yes, when school kids started wearing unmatching socks, I was relieved.
I buy & wear all identical - orgy, not pairs
😆
Or pining for the fjords.
I just hope their mates have not passed on!
joined the drawer invisible
The portal takes socks and gives back lint.
Can we put ocean plastic in there?
Oh, if only!
Can confirm the existence of a tear in the time-space continuum. It’s a black hole that regularly disappears my reading glasses, cigarette lighters, and TV remote control.
Honestly! I sometimes think that there is someone secretly living in my house and moving stuff around. Sometimes I think I get a glimpse of them out of the corner of my eye...
Oh, is that where my glasses are? And my husband's remote controls. He has three.
Wonder if that’s where the salt shaker went?
unquestionably.
just lost my sunglasses but got 2 canes at garage sale to add to the collection - I need a multitude because there never seems to be one
Check the top of your head...that's where I always find my glasses!
alas, not there
I just thought it was gremlins 😂
That's what I have. Interestingly I usually get the items back at some point. Might be weeks, sometimes years.
And my cell phone.
Yes, my husband loses his all the time. I'd like to take this opportunity to mention that my landline never disappears.
If I can’t find my cell phone, I call it from my landline. You know I’m old because I still have a landline.📞
Hmm. My husband has never thought of using my phone. I don't do cell phones because I don't like to be tracked. It's a leftover from the Sixties and Seventies when J Edgar Hoover was still alive.
As Ernestine said, “There’s nothing like a Hoover for picking up dirt. (Snort, snort, snort)”
I think there's a portal. I'm almost certain and the rubes are having a feeding frenzy with each other. Snapping at each other's tiny nuts while they're wives are cooking up stuff.
Yes there is whatever dear leader says must be so Levtistupidis 11: If dear leader says it then let there be misc. portals swallowing thy drones. Thanks God because we were thinking #25 for his ass’ .
Fell into an airspace? From ChatGPT: There is credible evidence that some of the Gerbera drones used in the incursion had been modified with additional fuel capacity (nose fuel tanks). That suggests an intent or capability to increase range.
The deepest confirmed penetration so far is ~240 km from the border (Łódź province), with debris in central Poland. So they flew quite far in. Because of the modifications, it now appears plausible that these drones were designed to reach more interior regions of Poland.
Poland should send a drone swarm to buzz the Russian joint exercises with the Belarussians.
It’s been (another) one of those weeks that seem to exhaust the outrage faculty. But I’m cooking up a fresh supply.
Looking forward to your fresh supply!
Pastor Webbon missed the parable of the Good Samaritan if he ever did read the New Testament, and much, much more. As a Christian parent, teach your kids to fear Blacks? The label “Christian” needs to be replaced with something accurate.
Racist Fascist Christian Nationalists rolls off the tongue.
Drop the term "Christian." The Christ I learned about would throw these evil people out of the temple faster than he ousted the grifters and the like from the Pharisees' temple.
F, And into the dumpster.
The dirty little secret about Evangelicals is that pro-life is a cover for their racism
& when Obama was elected boy did that unleash their racism. (Says a midwesterner who moved to AL for work)
They are not Americans - they do not care for the democracy here and only care about themselves as a community- everyone else can go away.
Why don’t they all just move to Utah and STFU?
Whose Governor SO hoped 'it was a migrant' who shot Kirk. Ruminate on that for a second or two. He had seemed to come across fairly sincerely in his wish for peace and unity - until I heard THAT. Zo - peace and unity for we white Utahns but not for thee. Got it.
At least he was honest about not wanting it to be a member of his tribe that killed Kirk. I hoped the shooter was not trans, gay, immigrant, etc., because of backlash against those groups already seen as dangerous.
In London today there was a massive right wing “unity” rally. Unity of whites against immigrants, especially Muslim immigrants, was the kind of unity promoted.
I suggest California. The South is highly overrated.
Hell to the No! We don't want them. We'll build a damn wall to keep them out. Gah!
Jeezus, we are desperately trying to drive those fucksticks OUT of the state!
Antichrist worshippers
Oh uncle Jeff, how do you do it? Make a totally shitty week somewhat tolerable…Lordy, where do we go from here?
My favorite T💩p quote of the week/month/year is when asked what he’s going to do to help unify our country, he said, “I couldn’t care less.” -- https://www.independent.co.uk/tv/news/donald-trump-care-less-fox-interview-video-b2825880.html
All the dems running in 2026 need that clip & should use it over & over.
Eggsactly! Why are you bothering him with “issues” and “problems” and things that he SHOULD. be doing, instead of playing fake golf and sleeping the rest of the day.
That was, indeed, a doozy! Sundowning Grampa-speak.
Yep!
The Saturday mace edition:
1. MAGA loon maces herself, there is karma after all
2. The face Mace makes before checking your gender to see if you have the right kind to enter an all gender bathroom
3. It would be appropriate to mace Dilley and Webbon if they try to force you into the kitchen
"The face Mace makes before checking your gender to see if you have the right kind to enter an all gender bathroom”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Susan Thant look is her trying to pry open her box of lies to have it finally say, whites only.
Today is my 76th birthday and I am afraid, not of wrinkles and broken bones, but of the future.
My wish is that everyone experience life as I have - full of possibilities, joy overflowing, laughter, rewarding work, love and most of all - freedom.
The darkness saddens me. But there is a star that is growing brighter. It is you, Jeff and all the passionate, smart and ever so clever folks who follow you. We do what needs to be done. In our own way, but we do it.
Thanks to you all.
Happy Birthday Terri- mine is tomorrow! Along with the Pope too!
Happy Birthday to you both! May yours bring you freedom from the nutjobs!
Happy. Birthday! Give yourself a gift of a day off from the news. 🎂
Yes - have a wonderful birthday - rest your thoughts, enjoy the music which makes you happy and ignore the magat cult craziness - even if only for today, YOUR special day. We all need to take a breather once in a while (even Jeff who doesn't seem to be able to, so I worry). ENJOY!
I’m actually glad Trump is allowing the squirrel in his brain to lead the conversation and that he leaves on the weekend to cheat at golf. He does less damage to the country that way. Imagine if he were as savvy as Putin. We wouldn’t stand a chance.
MONDAY: Oh, that was some MAGAt screwing up with mace? I thought that was a new version of The STAR WARS Kid! 🤣 🤣 🤣
FRIDAY: Well, the upside to getting Donnie Diaperstain up bright and early is he's less likely to sundown on Faux Noize that way....
We could call it sun upping. I think at this point his dementia is present 24 hours a day. We're going to feel it really big. Lord, if you're listening please take him.
Apparently, not early enough!
They just pump him full of drugs and deliver him to the set. It works for awhile.
As always, you hit it out of the park today. Perhaps it’s just me, but Trump‘s comments on Fox News seemed even more psychotic than previously. I’m wondering if this has anything to do with what Simon Rosenberg has proposed – that during Trump‘s absence of a week, he had a stroke. The photos of him at a 9/11 commemoration show a distinct drooping on the right side of his face. This has not been confirmed, of course. So I don’t claim it as fact. In any case, he seems to be deteriorating further. One wonders what it would take to remove him from office on health grounds. He could probably be crawling on the floor, mumbling to cockroaches and no one would do anything.