170 Comments
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kdsherpa's avatar

"future convict Former President Ratbrain is spending his golden years wandering lost and bewildered through an ever-thickening fog of dementia and untreated tertiary syphilis, so he’s to be excused when gibberish like this falls out of his big dumb pumpkin mouth" OK, Jeff. Every time I write, "this is your best EVER!!" you go and outdo yourself with yet ANOTHER one that is your best ever. So this is your best EVER!!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"Future Convict Former President Ratbrain" pushed me over the edge. LOL 😂😂

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Untreated tertiary syphilis just had me rolling as I was reading this to my wife. She just Goggled it and the clap just may actually get to him sooner than the trials.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

What a fitting end! 😂👍🏻

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MICHAEL OHALLORAN's avatar

I SAID HE HAD IT YEARS AGO ALL THE SIGNS ARE THERE.

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL!!!

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

OK Kathy, it's only10:00 AM out here on the Leftist Coast, and with that, I might just have to go back to bed and dream up a good reason to get up. I should have waited to read Jeff this evening. What a way to start the day.

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL! Can't go back to sleep from laughing so hard?

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

No, laughing so hard I won't be able to get anything done today. I can always laugh myself to sleep.....

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kdsherpa's avatar

Lovely!

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PTW's avatar

"Leftist Coast." I'm going to steal that, Ransom.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

I'll license it to you for a reasonable ....

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PTW's avatar

Nah, I'm outright STEALING it.

And you cannot stop me.

Bwaaaaaaah!

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

Then spread it far and wide,

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PTW's avatar

It will be my honor.

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Kerbo's avatar

💯

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User's avatar
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Nov 4, 2023
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Ransom Rideout's avatar

And get a big RV so she can travel the country and take care of us to.

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HollyValera's avatar

I'm so liberal, I gave all the candy I had to the toothless kid with the MAGA hat and the AR-15 because the NYT tells me I've got to stop hurting your feelings.

Just wait till next year, kid. I'll give you a box of Kleenex; it'll come in handy a few days later when your folks are watching the polls close.

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Kay-El's avatar

This is an epic smackdown . 👏🏼👏🏼

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HollyValera's avatar

Aww, thanks!

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Charlie Austin's avatar

🤠🤠🥳🥳

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Funny Eye Guy's avatar

🔥

Outstanding

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HollyValera's avatar

Well, thank you, but it's an easy target.

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JerryBier's avatar

I’m getting too old and too tired for this crap and yet I care enough about our Democracy that I will continue doing what I’ve been doing— telling as much truth to power as I can possibly do.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

I creak and groan too.

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JerryBier's avatar

Creaking and groaning. Yup that’s it.

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User's avatar
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Nov 4, 2023
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Charlie Austin's avatar

I hear you.

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Nov 4, 2023
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Randy Woodall's avatar

What's worse, when it's a dear friend or family member who's convinced of all the Trump lies, so convinced that they can't help but slam Biden with outrageous claims they've heard on Fox every chance they get... You don't want to give them up, but they won't listen to any criticism of the lies spread and the lying "news" organizations they believe.

It makes it a hard life. I know I can walk away but I still love who I love, although it scares me that they are locked into this thinking and I am concerned with their future mental welfare when all their heroes are sent to prison, and their illusory world falls apart.

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Nov 5, 2023
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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

It's all been very personal on so many different levels.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I got nothing. Just so fucking sad and so very very fucking pissed.

And you didn't even get to the legislation promoted by that traitorous bigoted Lousiana simpleton. Which is beyond the reach of even the satiric gifts of our present-day Voltaire [Mr. Tiedrich].

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

That's my response to most news these days - I got nothin'.

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

Me too...

"I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink. I'm. SOoo tired, my mind is on the blink...."

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

"And curse Sir Walter Raleigh

He was such a stupid git"

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kdsherpa's avatar

Ah, the Beatles! We were so lucky to have had them during our teens.

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

We were. I've been listening to them for a couple of days, after the release of their last single, Now and Then. John Lennon has been floating around my head. There's a documentary video on how the work was done to develop this project. It's really well done.

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

The entire Magical Mystery Tour album has been playing in my head for the last month or so. Not that there's anything wrong with that. The walrus was Paul.

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Morgan OCailleigh's avatar

That's the point of the tour, to take you away.

*Koo koo kachoo*

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RV maxima's avatar

Somewhere between chemical alley and snake handling church's, this THING was birthed. Some kind of tainted crayfish diet?

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I knew a family of snake handlers, back in the '70s. There is a lot of insight in your observation. And the suffering wrought by chemicals is dreadful. But the True Believer mentality that has gripped the base is Gog/Magog endtimes shit and the well of stupid is very deep.

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RV maxima's avatar

I guess I have lived a very mixed life with a combination of experiences; saw chemical alley from the deck of a towboat and this work also afforded travel and education including a major in molecule bending. No scale handling except occasional finding one tucked away between barges...

Nothing like spending time with a great variety of people to also provide insight and an education.

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RV maxima's avatar

PS, auto correct...

I select a word, auto correct changes it and it becomes a tug of war. Sheesh, SNAKE handling...

Am I missing something on how to get a less authoritarian program like auto correct to work? So frustrating !

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Lisa Hansen's avatar

Don Jr., “It’s never to early...”. Can’t any of the fucking idiots in that family spell? Orange Dipshit repeatedly misspells “stolen”.Guess the Devil has “stollen” his soul. You can admit an idiot to Wharton, but they will always be an idiot.

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Ransom Rideout's avatar

stollens is delish

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Jim Ryan's avatar

The AR in "AR-15" stands for either

A. ARmalite, or

B. Asshole Racist

...definitely B.

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Cheryl Keeping's avatar

Cokey McSniffles!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Naming my next dog that, I swear.

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Coke head Junior got the “ are you fucking kidding me look” from the parking lot lawyer?!

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RV maxima's avatar

Or Stain...

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DonP's avatar

You missed one Jeff.

at an international conference on AI, XMusk said that in the near future, you won't need a job. You can have one if you want one, but AI will be doing all the work.

I wonder if anyone told him that I, Robot was set in 2034, is all about AI robots doing all the work, and was first published in book form in 1950?

On another fun note, I rewatched A Boy and His Dog last night. It too is set years after a nuclear war. The year it's set in? 2024. (Another fun fact, Soylent Green was set in 2022).

OH! And Jeff Bezos bought a $79M "house" in Florida. I don't know if that counts as stupid, or simply the 3rd richest man on the planet being too dumb to pay attention to climate change and the fact his little estate may be underwater in a few years.

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Bezos avoiding Washington's new capital gains tax.

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RV maxima's avatar

Are you kidding? Sure for us and even the stray millionaire look at $70M as an investment. For the billionaires boy club that purchase is just pocket change. I am sure he has 10 or 20 other choices to visit.

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Susan B's avatar

Klannie Oakley? HAHA and the rest is so spot on - as usual! Thx!

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Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

Your Twitter comments are slaying me, as usual! (And no, I'll never use its supposed new name cuz it's stoopid)

I'm still laughing about Margie Sporkfoot and three-toes (or however you said it) yesterday 😛

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HulitC's avatar

My friends & I like the name Xitter (This X is pronounced like “sh”, like the Chinese Premier Xi)

And tweets are now X-crements (this x is pronounced like x in x-ray)

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Sandy B in NorCal's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Karla's avatar

Excellent! Looking forward to next week’s posts when daddy and his princess take the stand. Hope he tells the sketch artist to redo his sketch (like he reportedly did with his Georgia mugshot) and the judge tells him to piss up a rope.

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RV maxima's avatar

It is fascinating to think, who can tank themselves on the stand? No competition, Donnie FF hands down!

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Karla's avatar

Right? He hasn’t paid any real price for ignoring the gag order so he still thinks he can get away with anything...plus he self incriminates like a four year old. Her will definitely tank himself 😂.

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RV maxima's avatar

Totally!

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Randy Woodall's avatar

I won't use "x" and I didn't use twitter. Trump was already associated with twitter before it was on my radar, that and the 160 character limit were turnoffs to me (but especially Trump).

Not a Tik Tokker either, guess I'm a 21st century Luddite.

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Carol's avatar

“Who gives a fuck what it stands for, no civilian needs to have one.” Truly classic!

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Sköll's avatar

Lauren Boebert was not even born when I read about Armalite.

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Wendy's avatar

I am headed off to Canada for the week where I will be reading only Jeff's take on the news. Oh, the hilarity that will ensue while I am at America's upstair's neighbor's house. I liken it to getting the Dr Seuss version of dumbfuckery where I can laugh instead of cry.

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Steve B's avatar

You're not coming back, are you? I wouldn't!

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Wendy's avatar

I have checked into staying in Canada since 2016, and one of these times I might. I'm going to Vancouver, and I love it there.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Enjoy your stay, and I hope the nice weather holds up. A word of advice, stay away from the National Post newspaper, and instead immerse yourself in the daily Globe & Mail.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Your 'not-Twitter' trolling is epic. It's how I discovered you, in fact. 😂 Do these people even SEE what they're doing and saying? *sigh Stupid is running deeper and deeper. Thanks for another summary. ✌️

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Charlie Austin's avatar

We're drowning in it, unfortunately.

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David Olson's avatar

I really get a kick out of the 2nd Amendment freaks. I can imagine going dove hunting with the AR-15 crowd. “Everything you got, down range NOW!” So, it is a fetish, and in my mind kind of up there with the pet rock fanboys/girls of some years ago. Our future is not so bright with this bunch. Meanwhile, the court room frolics of Butthead and Beavis did provide some comic relief. Thanks for the posting.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

Armalite, and I don’t have one. It’s a nutty myth the A2 folks think is a funny way to own the libs. Dumbass gunfuckers.

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HulitC's avatar

Someone probably pulled that on her first and she got smacked down for thinking it meant Assault Rifle herself.

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Cassandra Here's avatar

I have one over on pants-adjuster Booby-face, I read books, lots of books with lots and lots of words, history words. I even know what AK stands for, where in Russian the “A” is Automatic. I like spy novels, so there’s that.

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Sköll's avatar

Absolutely. I would bet on it, although she would never own up to it.

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RV maxima's avatar

An adult still living in high school world, sheesh!

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