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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

fun fact: Donny called Three Toes "Marjorie Traitor Greene" this morning

https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/115554138689247811

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

This is the great divisive split, MAGA on the MTG Side (who care about the Epstein shit) and MAGA on the other side who care more about Trump.

This is the kind of thing that breaks midterm elections, and bides the tide in our favor (progressives that is).

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Linda Weide's avatar

MTG is jumping ship because Trump did not back her and she could see where the ship was sailing. Rumors hath it that more Republicans might jump ship as more is revealed in the files.

Also, for those who are upset that Mamdani is a SOCIAL Democrat, I just saw posted on one of my chats today that Seattle is now about to have a SOCIAL Democratic mayor as well. Only she is female, white and probably not Muslim. Still hope to see same policies.

As for Anna Luna(tic), she has been inviting members of the AfD in Germany, that is the New German Nazi party to visit her so she can ostensibly help JDV, Musk and Trump to plan their ascendency to leadership in Germany. In response to this, I have organized American-German monthly dialogues in my city in Germany. I want to be spreading the word that the right wing fascist Devils in the USA are eager to spread their brand of ruining a country to the rest of the world, and they are reaching out wherever they can, and are well organized and funded.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Thank you, Linda, for taking up this important cause. It's vital that we don't lose focus on the many other ways this regime is trying to spread its poison.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Paula, books that made this clear for me are "Money, Lies and God: Inside the Movement to Destroy American Democracy" by Katherine Stewart, and Anne Applebaum's book, "Autocracy, Inc. : The Dictators Who Want to Run the World." A well developed far-right network is actively working to destroy democracy wherever they can.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

I think I'll stick to my books by Steven Mithven, about the development of man and civilization. There's some interesting positive stuff in them.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Wow, Linda, lil’ Lunatic is not as stupid as we all thought! She was “hired” to be cute and alluring to attract members of the AfD. Pretty soon, Florida will be known as the Nazi State of America. Ugh…

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Linda Weide's avatar

DeSantis certainly helps with that.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

I bet we could raise enough $ to send Trump and JD to Germany on a one way with our blessings and a NO RETURN TAG.

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Carol C's avatar

I wouldn’t wish them on today’s Germany. Send them somewhere with no healthcare, no Big Macs, no donuts, definitely no internet. Somewhere where there is nothing to buy and no one to notice them.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Send them to North Korea.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Excellent choice. They can practice working for their food.

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Michael J McGee's avatar

Antarctica comes to mind

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Pete Gorton's avatar

no, the penguins are doing just fine, despite global warming and the US disaster. Why stuff up their world? Flippers Up!

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Carol Jacobson's avatar

Holy Mike Johnson and several others need to be on that one way trip too.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Terri, That does not seem a realistic solution, since they could not fit in here in the ways they would want to.

I am living in Germany, if you will see my posts above. It is recommended that those Americans abroad should try to stave off autocracy where we are living and form networks too, so that we can help keep autocracy at bay where we live so we can provide support against fascism in the US as well. The more place there are that have democratic governments, the harder it will be for Trump to do autocratic things and as long as democratic countries still interact with Trump as allies, the harder it is for him to run full force with his fascism. We should do all we can to keep it that way.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Luna, is clearly in the peerless in vacuous idiocy camp Linda!

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

I like people who are social!

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meryl selig's avatar

Wish the elections were this year

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

At times like this, I'm pissed at the founding fathers. They could have put in a time tested parliamentary system, but having slaves that bring you food and rub your feet encourage you to day dream about a unitary executive.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Well, there have been many chances to amend the Constitution and people were not awake enough, until now, to demand it.

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Megan Ross's avatar

I wish the 90 million people who didn't bother to vote, would have gotten off their lazy butts and voted in November! They're as much to blame as the MAGAts who voted for TRump, if not more. A mere 77 million people voted for The Convicted Felon and their votes would have kept him from becoming (gag) president again.

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Megan Ross's avatar

Let's hope so! I'm so proud of my hometown of Seattle voting for a Social Democrat. Seattle needs good leadership and actual plans to end homelessness there.

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FTrump And FPutin Too's avatar

“”Bides the tide” appears to be a nonstandard unintentional combination of “biding your time” with the old timey hymn “Blest be the ties that bind…” or your intention is to suggest waiting for the tide to turn to more favorable conditions. This explanation is mostly Ai approved. Kind of a mind twister but it works.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Not many are on MTG’s side

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

The more they fight with each other, the more they're distracted from doing damage. Speaking of distractions, did Trump REALLY think having Hegseth announce a potential invasion of Venezuela was going to interest the general public, most of which couldn't find Venezuela on a map? Anyway, some things are hard to distract from and, to Trump's misfortune, sex scandals are at the top of the list.

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Susie's avatar

Yes. Yes. YES!!!!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

When a MAGAT goes crazy, one out of 300 turns on Donald Trump. The other 299 develop relationships with aliens.

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kdsherpa's avatar

LOL!

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Paula Dean's avatar

😂😂😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Nicely played Kathleen!

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FTrump And FPutin Too's avatar

Now that’s truthin’ lol.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Jeff;

Please don’t forgo the use of your wonderful tag Sporkfoot for the shape shifting knucklehead from Georgia. It truly was one of your very Best inventions!

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Paula Dean's avatar

But I still don't know why/how she earned that nickname! Explain?

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Be delighted to. Someone cooked up a picture of that anthropoid wearing sandals and made it look like she had three toes like a sloth. Thus she is known as "Sporkfoot" or, occasionally, "Sporky."

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Major Kong's avatar

Or 3 tines - like a spork they give you at KFC.

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Alison Parker's avatar

There was a doctored photo of her that went around in which she's wearing sandals and someone made it look like she only has 3 toes.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

She has only three toes on one of her feet.

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Paula Dean's avatar

Did she shoot off the other two?

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Barbara Vasile's avatar

I have it on reliable information that Kristi Noem did it. I guess Marge’s foot just wasn’t trainable.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

For real????

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Grace Kennedy's avatar

The toes may not be on her “feet”.

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Valerie's avatar

He woke up a little more creative this morning I see. That's actually kinda funny. Hate admitting that. Shit's falling off the rails for him and I'm here for it. It'll be a mischief of rats fleeing a sinking ship. It will happen.

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DJS's avatar

"mischief of rats" - I love how you used it!

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Valerie's avatar

muchas gracias :)

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Not as soon as any of us would prefer Valerie, but…

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Valerie's avatar

tell me about it. the world hasn't been the same in 10 damn years. friendships & loved ones lost being amongst the worst part. i read this this morning and felt better, if it helps:

https://substack.com/@simonwdc/note/c-177555062?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=i11lj

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meryl selig's avatar

This is becoming a great spectator sport.

And thx for “shitkazoo.” A keepe.

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Joseph Luongo's avatar

To quote a famously ignored basketball player from New York, “The ship be sinking.”

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Leu2500's avatar

So original. He needs new material

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Where is Mel these days?

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Joanne Filipo's avatar

The little whiny biotch! 🤣

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Norma's avatar

Ladies and gentlemen the leader 🤮 of the Free World 🙄

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celeste k.'s avatar

My my, he is SO clever with words now, isn't he? Puhleeze.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

oh goody, I misspelled JON Voight. now I can look forward the hundreds of corrections that will be emailed to me over the next three days

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Stacy B's avatar

Actually no one cares if you spell that ghoul’s name correctly

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Yeah, I looked at it and went "whatever."

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Idiots so want to correct their Betters. Ignore them, Sir. As annoying as it must be.

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David (Dave) Jaspers's avatar

I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it...

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DJS's avatar

I'm not one to point out typos but I couldn't help but notice "Jack" Tapper. ;-)

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Ole Anderson's avatar

As you point out a typo. Right.

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Christine Zepka's avatar

Didn’t care, don’t care. Your point was the thing…

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Permian Extinction's avatar

I don't care about Jon/John. No, it's the "Dear Leader can't do shit" part. Exactly right. Useless. Always been useless. Whatever is wrong with these people can't be fixed in less than twelve million lifetimes.

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Debbie  Mitchell's avatar

What about Jack Tapper🤣

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Tracey Johnson's avatar

(Tearfully) but, Sir, no one misspells like you!

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Randy Woodall's avatar

If you had only seen the Seinfeld episode where George buys a used car that once belonged to "John Voight" you wouldn't make that mistake. It seems the car belonged to a different Voight. Honest mistake on George's part, and I guess, yours.

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Adam Electro's avatar

Even George wouldn't buy JV's car now!

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Lyman Baker's avatar

That's OK, Jon himself made a slightly more serious misspelling when he wrote the script for his rant: "this must be stopped and his mayoralty should be terminated immediately." He meant "majority" but "mayoralty" slipped in.

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Tom Woods's avatar

Who?

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Susie's avatar

Excellent Seinfeld containing that very point. 🤣🤣🤣

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Who, the midnight cowboy, fo’get about it!

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Salspho's avatar

Who gives a shit if you misspelled Jon Voight? Cum on people. Just give him an F on his essay.

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Norma's avatar

Didn’t notice 😊

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MountainBoyMike's avatar

hahahahahahaha.....Jeff, clearly you aren't a Seinfeld fan or you would have known exactly how to spell it!!!!!! (ya can't put emojis in here or I woulda put in a bunch of LMAO ones)

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Valerie's avatar

lol

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Tess's avatar

Excellent (unfortunately-well, kinda) this week in stupid! Your humor makes it especially stupid and laughable. How does anyone believe these crazy ass people! Thanks Jeff! Have a nice weekend to everyone on this substack!!!

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Ellyn's avatar

Have a nice weekend as well, Tess! 💕

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Tess!

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Kay-El's avatar
4hEdited

1. To Jesse Watters: I’ll die on my own time fuckwad, not yours.

2. Jon Void (not a typo) is morphing into Trump. Sad!

3. Apparently Lunatic has been anal probed one too many times.

I can’t even make a joke about the library thing because it’s just beyond the pale. I do hope someone buys a lot of the “offending” books and places them in strategic places around the library. And keeps doing it.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

John Void - 😂 😝 😆. I’d also say that about his female progeny - the one and only Ms Jolie.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I don’t keep track but about 10 years ago she hated him and wouldn’t speak to him.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

2 of a kind - they sure deserve to be father/daughter.

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robin crawley's avatar

Well done 😂

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Book burnings will be next.

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Kay-El's avatar

I’m liking this because I like your takes Linda, but I don’t want to agree because the thought just burns my ass.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

we can burn t's books, no matter who wrote them.

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Kay-El's avatar

Agreed 💯

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Christine Zepka's avatar

🥰🤣🤣

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

All excellent points Kay-EI!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

or on park benches.

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Kay-El's avatar

👍🏼 Little Free Libraries too.

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Alison Parker's avatar

Lordy. I think my IQ just dropped a few points reading that Watters quote. Which still puts it about 500 points higher than his.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Watters mebbe thinks us boomers will all go extinct like the dinosaurs did with that alleged asteroid impact. Fox viewers know they actually drowned in Noah's Flood

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Jan Moon's avatar

Maybe it will be like the rapture. Whoosh! leaving behind a giant rummage sale of Boomer clothes.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I cringe when I see pics of myself in those 70s disco duds

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Are you sure you are a boomer? Early boomers such as myself ignored the terrible disco years, as we've ignored everything else since .

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I’m a later boomer, 1960. We didn’t have the good sense you early boomers had

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Every time I read a quote from Watters I imagine me holding a baseball bat and swinging it to make the noise stop.

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Barbara Vasile's avatar

And what exactly does the “great and powerful” Watters think is going to happen to all the boomers like me? An extremely specific pandemic originating in all of the Social Security offices across the land??

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ynot1965's avatar

I was born in ‘65. Does that put me 1st in line for a dead boomer house?

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Alison Parker's avatar

LOL! I'm imagining it like the online queue for concert tickets :P

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

It's hard to believe they found someone stupider than Tucker Carlson, but BINGO!

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

It is so wrong. The boomers who didn't survive the Sixties were on campus and at demonstrations or served in Vietnam. The rest of us will live FOREVER, making his life miserable.

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Zito, Anthony's avatar

Remember. Every time there is a transgender surgery in New York, a stalwart patriot in Texas loses their freedoms.

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meryl selig's avatar

And one more Bible banger goes apoplectic

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Betsy L's avatar

Every time I see the word "apoplectic," I focus on the "pop" part and imagine some red-faced fat idiot bursting. Have did since I was a kid.

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P123Sunny's avatar

omg

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Fuck Jon Voigt. Even George Costanza took him for a ride on a used car deal. Dumb as a box of Islamaphobic rocks.

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Susie's avatar

That’s what I said!!! When he bit Kramer, I guess we should have known! 🤣🤣🤣

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Merrill's avatar

In his last episode of "Trump the President", Trump in on the unsinkable Titanic, cruising majestically across the sea, when BAMM, the ship slams into the iceberg of doom and begins to sink. All on board are in a panic, Trump, on the top deck, is rushing back and forth from railing to railing trying to find a safe way off the boat, but alas, there aren't enough life boats. He tried to get into some lifeboats by pulling off little children or by pointing out darker skinned passengers who were already on those boats and must be illegals or drug dealears. But, tragicaly, no one would let him onto their lifeboat. In a panic, he lurches across the sinking boat looking for someplace to hide or something that would float. To no avail. In the last scene, Trump is trapped at the stern of the boat, railing against the unfair treatment he has received his whole life as the Titanic slips under the surface.

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

I would pay good money to watch that.

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rlritt's avatar

I love a happy ending.

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Crystal Hartley's avatar

He offers crypto cash for a spot on a lifeboat, but no takers. Zoom in for a close up as Donnie realizes that life is precious. With an ironic smile, he finally becomes a real boy..Too late, fatso.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Fitting END.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

please, someone, make a cartoon of this heartbreaking story...

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Major Kong's avatar

Without even a floating door and Kate Winslet to cling to.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

As promised , Uncle Jeff, I give you

My piece de resistance

Trump and Hitler probably shared something in common.

And all the neo nazi freaks out there are trying to deal with the fact that their leaders (Hitler and Trump) Both probably have.....wait for it.....MICROPENIS!!!

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/trump-has-a-micropenis

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Maybe we should rewrite the lyrics.

Trumpy has only got one ball

Lutnick has two but they are small

Miller has something similar

And Marco has no balls at all.

Substitute whatever names you like. The possibilities are endless.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Linda, you missed your calling.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Oh, I'm blushing. Every once in a while I produce a zinger. Born sarcastic and grew into cynicism as a result of 75 years of living in Amerika.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Well, we 75 year olds are the best. Our educations and times made us that way.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Could it be that we were the last generation to receive a true education? I seem to be surrounded by illiterate morons.

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longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Yes, I've said that often. In the fifth grade we had to memorize the preamble to the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Gettysburg Address. In seventh grade we had a semester of music appreciation, a semester of learning to draw, a semester of sewing, and a semester of cooking. And those are things kids don't learn today. Not to mention all the book reports from fourth grade on, and other reports from seventh grade on.

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Jodi Richard's avatar

Great article Wendy! Little dick energy is getting fucking tiresome.

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rlritt's avatar

Interesting. To think if the allies could have paid some gorgeous woman to sacrifice herself by having a liaison with Hitler and go into ecstasy over his incredible masculinity, all that suffering and death would have been avoided.

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Marlene Dietrich said about Hitler, "Unfortunately, the first girl laughed".

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rlritt's avatar

Yeah, her fault.

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Wendy The Druid 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I mean, Hitler killed millions of people, and probably over Penis envy.

Just sayin.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Stormy Daniels testified about Trump's tiny mushroom cock. Yet that deformity worked, as evidenced by his five spawn. Tant pis.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

On the all important subject of Hitler's nuggets, biographer John (J-O-H-N) Toland interviewed a doctor who claimed to have done that old 'turn your head and cough' business to the great man and said Adolph's agates were normal. As for that business, the next time it happens, I'll tell the doctor "you don't have to make up some excuse to caress my plums, go to town!"

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Mwfeiger's avatar

Read your piece and was enlightened. Thank you.

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Cassandrashuman's avatar

I knew we were all going to die, but at the same time??? Are they going to nuke boomers? Soylent green us? And can you picture how many cultist boomers sat in front of their TVs and nodded along?

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Um, somebody should tell Watters that Trump is a Boomer.

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DJS's avatar

Maybe we will be Raptured - that'll show Jesse!

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Randy Woodall's avatar

Boomer Rapture. It will be explosive!

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Joyce's avatar

This sounds like the name of a new rap star just signed to a record label.

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Nancy Potter's avatar

All those polio vaccines we received back in the dark ages are suddenly, and simultaneously, going to kill us?

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P123Sunny's avatar

Are they ‘breaking something to us gently’ or what… 💀🍿

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Mwfeiger's avatar

What housing will the Boomers leave, senior housing? Downsized homes in cheap states to live in, i.e. no industry? Also, it's the boomers that mostly have medicare so they have health insurance, cutting into the odds that these are the people who will be dying off soon. Just remember one truth, life is tenacious.

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Joyce's avatar

Depends on how high the hearing aids were turned up--they may have thought the Found Object said that they were about to get millions and millions of dollars......

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Somewhere out there John Scopes is like, holy crap, in 100 years Tennessee has gotten even worse

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Susie's avatar

Right?! I’m sickened. 💔

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Monnina's avatar

So Musk wants us all to find the light in outer space and now Luna wants to hunt down interdimensional beings. Am I alone in seeing both as merely projections of their emotional uni dimensionality and empty inner space ?

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Leu2500's avatar

Wouldn’t aliens make sure they are flying with their windows up when they go by the bad neighborhood that is America under Trump?

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rlritt's avatar

Don't forget to lock your spaceship doors.

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Crystal Hartley's avatar

Don't bother; any aliens worthy of the name can will themselves to become liquid and slip in under the door, don'tcha know.

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rlritt's avatar

Ha ha. But I was thinking the aliens should be locking their space ship doors to keep the crazy earthlings from getting them.

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Betsy L's avatar

THUNK THUNK THUNK THUNK!

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robin crawley's avatar

Nope

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

How about just sheer insanity?

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Thanks for the nutcase report Jeff. I'm looking forward to The Boomer Rapture....got my soft food snacks and my robe pressed for lift-off.

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Anna Trombley's avatar

I hope Frank Zappa will be waiting at heaven's gate to wave us in 😎

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I'll share my soft pretzels with you if you bring the mustard!

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Clint Opine's avatar

I misread that as "nutcast report" which actually kinda works.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

On the nose, Jeff. MAGA is so fucking stoopid, they can't even racist correctly. Dozy Don's Muslim ban doesn't apply to murderous dictators like al-Sharaa and MBS.

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Anyway, we already have Sharia law in the U.S. Only it's called "Christian Nationalism."

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Norma's avatar

I heard that MBS is paying a visit next week 🙄

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HI2thDoc's avatar

And Al-Sharaa was just here

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P123Sunny's avatar

Are they? They ignore his decline to cling to relevance ‘I guess’?!

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Tom Clements's avatar

Of course Dear Leader would only have the best MRI, an MRI the likes of which have never been seen before. Now if Trump can only figure out what an MRI is, but then it's like magnets, no one understands what they are or how they work, it's all just a plot from the insurance companies to charge us more money. Maybe the doctors were looking for that piece of brain that fell out of Donny's head when Donny was talking to RFK Jr?

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Ole Anderson's avatar

If the doctor had explained that MRI stood for Magnetic Resonance Imaging trump couldn’t have been forced into the machine with a forklift!

To say he is Stupid is such an understatement.

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Norma's avatar

lol 😂

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Mary Fedoroff's avatar

So the analyzers used the analyzer to do an analysis and the analysis was that whatever they analyzed, they figured that they’re pretty good at analyzing.

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Susie's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Nancy Potter's avatar

As anyone who has ever had an MRI knows, it's kind of obvious what part is being scanned.

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Ingrid Robertshaw's avatar

Geeeee! I am so appreciative to read everyone's comments..such brilliant words here...thank you,thank you....

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

If Joe Biden had announced that he’d had an MRI, without knowing the reason, or even the body part being scanned, not only would Jake Tapper, be writing a sequel, but Elon Musk would have his pre-pubescent techies hacking the shit out of Biden’s medical records, and posting the results on Twatter, or Shitter, or Xcrement, or whatever the fuck it’s called now. Either that, or Dr. Brainworms would be diagnosing Biden himself. But of course, none of this would have happened, because no normal human’s ever claimed to have had an MRI for reasons unknown. And more importantly, up until now, they wouldn’t think there was anyone dumb enough to believe it.

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Joyce's avatar

I'm going to award a few points to the reporter who asked, "Was it your brain?" I know exactly how I'd ask that question: with the acidic tone that can etch metal.

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Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

The part that gets me is he thinks an MRI is a test you can "do well" on, when that isn't remotely what MRIs are about. They're diagnostic, you moron!

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Joyce's avatar

Well, y'know.....maybe the MRI results looked like a camel...................

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Carolyn Enloe's avatar

Well said, Stephanie!

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

His current lies are not up to snuff. Dopey don I mean that lie was as dumb he couldn’t reply no lie ready nothing, just don’t know.

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P123Sunny's avatar

But they’re still buying it?…

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Or at least pretending to—which is just as bad.

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