this week in stupid: November 18 edition
Ronna doubles down, Elon is a clown, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: keep on fucking that chicken, Ronna
hey, remember a couple of weeks ago, when Republicans ran on a platform of forced birth and got totally fucking slaughtered at the ballot box? that was pretty fun, right?
it really does take a special kind of stupid to be on the wrong end of that electoral drubbing and conclude that we need to be forcing birth harder.
Republicans were all over the Sunday shows this past week, talking about how they can absolutely win by shouting even louder about how much they want to take away women’s rights.
here’s Ronna McDaniel on Meet the Press:
“I’m proud to be a pro-life party. we can win on this message. the American people are where we are, and they want common sense limitations, they want more access to adoption, we want to make sure that there are pregnancy crisis centers. these are things we can win on. but we have to talk about it, and you can’t hide in a corner and think that abortion’s not going to be an issue.”
a personal plea to every Republican who refuses to stop fucking this particular chicken: yes, keep right on at it. never stop.
enjoy getting reamed at the polls next year.
monday: meet Congresshaman Chansley
the 2024 election season just got stupider.
jailbird Jacob Chansley, better known as the stupid fucking moron in the photo above, has announced that he’s running for Congress.
he hasn’t a snowball’s chance, but he does have one advantage over his challengers: he already knows his way around the halls of Congress.
tuesday: your tax dollars at work
we have a lot of problems in our country. climate collapse. pandemic. creeping authoritarianism. Elon Fucking Musk.
but you know what isn’t a problem? the salary of the Assistant for Mine Safety and Health Administration.
yet, our Republican House of Representatives is wasting everyone’s time on vote after vote to reduce the salaries of various Biden Administration staffers to $1.
you know who’s the instigator of this, don’t you? good old Congresswoman Sporkfoot.
why is she doing this? because fuck you, that’s why. in your face, Brandon. that’ll teach you … something.
wednesdsay: yes, but it’s the hottest garbage ever
imagine you’re an Elon Musk fanboy — the kind of dipshit who spends the day scrolling through not-twitter and congratulating your hero for repeatedly slamming his dick in a car door.
how do you kick back and relax after a hard day of beclowning yourself?
with a $75 bottle of Tesla Cyberbeer, evidently.
no, that’s not a typo. Cyberbeer actually costs seventy-five fucking dollars for one bottle.
for that kind of money, you’d expect to be getting other-worldy next-level beer, right? I mean, it better be the greatest goddamned beer you’ve ever tasted.
evidently not.
“Tesla Cyberbeer is hot garbage.”
masterful gambit, sir.
thursday: the what of what?
somebody please explain to me what the fuck is this woman on about.
“I think the majority of people … they can acknowledge that Gay Nutcracker and Black Disabled Santa has gone way too far.”
first: what is “dylanization”? I’ve never heard of it, so I did a google search. every result points right back to this video clip. so, no help there.
second: are Gay Nutcracker and Black Disabled Santa two characters from a Bob Dylan song? a lost stanza from Desolation Row, maybe?
third: I had to google Riley Gaines, too. evidently she’s a competitve swimmer. wait a minute — aren’t athletes and entertainers supposed to stay in their lanes and not talk about politics?
I’ll say one thing, though: you gotta admire Fox News for their ability to spin moral panics out of celebrity farts.
friday: another masterful gambit, sir
imagine you’ve driven half the major advertisers off your failing app by being a raging antisemite. what do you do for an encore?
if you’re the SmArTeSt GeNiUs iN tHe GaLaXy, I guess you drive away the other half by calling them “the greatest oppressors of your right to free speech.”
excellent work, Space Nazi.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
"Dylanisation" refers to that one bottle of Bud Lite with a picture of Dylan Mulvaney on it
Ronna is the bigliest embarrassment to women world wide. I’d like to kick her ass into the farthest galaxy possible.