this week in stupid: May 5 edition
Joe Biden is a hologram, Trump's brain is a traffic jam, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
saturday: Joe Biden is a hologram and other absolutely true facts
QAnon Mike is a man who does his own research. and by ‘his own research,’ I mean that he swallows wholesale the entire batshit QAnon canon.
did you know that Donald Trump is still president, secretly pulling the strings from Mar-a-Lago? did QAnon Mike just blow your mind? just wait: there’s more. Joe Biden is a hologram. whoa.
there’s lots more, but be forewarned that watching the whole video (via Rod Webber, the man holding the mic) just might be the batshittiest seven minutes of your life.
sunday: the stupidest fucking moron in the entire history of the universe believes China did covid just to fuck up his presidency
here’s fun fact that I’ll bet you didn’t know: China was so enraged by the tariffs that Donald Trump imposed on their imports that they deliberately manfactured a secret weapon in order to destroy his changes of reelection.
the name of that secret weapon? covid.
that’s right, China unleashed a global epidemic that lasted over two years and killed millions of people because they had a serious case of the mads at Donald Trump.
and now you know.
monday: gay porn isn’t this gay
sometimes the fan art produced by Donald Trump’s worshipers reveals more about their own subconscious desires than they realize. wait, did I say ‘sometimes’? I meant every fucking time.
but leaving the obvious subtext aside, what the fuck is going on in this image?
Donald Trump is wearing brown trousers with a torn knee, but he has his underwear on over his trousers?
I have more questions, but I don’t think there are any answers.
wednesday: not quite the results he expected
self-described “Christ follower” Jason Zachary, state senator from Tennessee, ran a twitter poll that quickly went south. Zack got the exact opposite of the results he expected, and the entire internet had fun dragging him. don’t miss the comments.
let’s give Jason credit, at least he didn’t delete the poll.
thursday: the stupidest fucking moron in the entire history of the universe and the greasiest lawyer in the entire history of the universe can’t get their stories straight
Donald Trump melted the fuck down on Thursday and claimed he was rushing home from his trip to Ireland because he needs to “confront this woman” in court.
asked if this was happening, ace lawyer Joey Taco Penis replied “no.”
but don’t you wish it were true? I would pay serious money to watch Trump completely lose his shit under oath on the witness stand.
we could probably eliminate the national debt by selling tickets to it.
hey, it’s only ten o’clock in the morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a great weekend, everyone.
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