seriously, about a year ago — I forget the reason why, but I didn't finish writing until about 1pm (new york time) and around noon I started getting emails from people asking if I was ok. which is kind of weird
Not to burden you, but thousands of us need you each day more than we need our morning coffee. We’ve developed a serious dependency - and that apparently includes the great John Oliver, who posted that you are his necessary read of the day because you provide much needed outrage laced with exactly the right quantity of Fuck Yous
Bob thank you for speaking on behalf of the multitude of subscribers who may be slightly slow on a Saturday morning. Your words were profound and reflect much of the readership’s appreciation of Jeff and for his wise and sometimes very funny posts. Well done, sir.
ALWAYS funny, even in the face of the worst situations. I repeat: Jeff's posts save my sanity, mostly because I laugh out loud so often at his take on the fuckwit orange toddler, and can then begin my day with a smile instead of my former PISSED-OFF expression. ;}
Not sort of weird in this day and time. I am sure you have made the cut of people that might just disappear one day - never to heard from again. Keep a burner phone!
I deliberately DON'T start looking for your post of the day until well after 1p.m. - just so you can catch a BREATH! You must have other things to do - especially on weekends with Mrs. Spouse (who probably gets annoyed by all of us for taking up so much of your precious time). Still, when I see your post in my email it's a HUGE bright spot, although I confess I'M one of those who worries too if I don't see your post at all...mostly though - about the cultists trying to disappear you somewhere.
When this dinner was advertised as an "intimate dinner for 220 people," I knew that anyone who understood the meaning of the word "intimate" was going to be disappointed. Not even Donnie can grab the crotch of two hundred and twenty men on a single night.
"Intimate" probably meant that the morsel of meat, fragment of fish, tablespoon of sauce, 1/8 cup of mashed potatoes, and four bitty carrots would be tightly snuggled together on the plate.
I've never seen Surf & Turf with white fish. I could get a fancier meal at Red Lobster. The way wealthy people expect to be fawned over all the time is laughable.
I put that on twitter as well. Surf and Turf was ALWAYS lobster tail and steak (of one's choice) - usually filet mignon. That is, when I did eat such fare. I don't remember when the last time I had anything remotely resembling such heavy food - perhaps a **Ruth's Chris 15 or so years ago on a trip to Scottsdale? I've only just realized how my choice of food has changed over the years. I DID hope those walmart steaks might do the job we're all hoping for and kick his barely functioning arteries right in the pants.
**I mention Ruth's Chris Steak House because THEIR filet mignons are literally BAKED in the oven in BUTTER. Absolutely melt-iin-your-mouth delicious IF one doesn't have dietary/arterial issues. I've been pondering if I'm willing to chip in to send orange baby there. Might be a sacrifice worth considering.
I've been to many Harmonica Conventions - NOT at the highest-end Hotels for the most part, and this looks exactly like the kind of food served at the Saturday Night Banquets, fwiw. Mostly cold by the time it reaches the last tab;es to be served. Dessert is already on the table as are the salads (always with vinaigrette which I don't eat.). Impossible to get plain salad. Did anyone notice that donny demento is a cheap son-of-a-bitch among his other 'qualities'?
Everything was overcooked. And only in cafeterias do they use an ice cream scoop to serve mashed potatoes (and why mashed? Because they're made from potato flakes and artificial flavoring). Baked potatoes served with sour cream would cost more, and those overcooked, limp vegs are obviously from frozen. Surf & turf should be served with salad and baked potato, crusty rolls and fresh fruit for dessert. I'll bet there was "beautiful chocolate cake," Donny's favorite.
I was unable to identify that crusty shingle as ‘fish’. And that gelatinous glop over the steak freaked me out. The whole mess looks like a Denny’s senior special.
looks like the main course I get (for $10 delivered hot, salad soup & dessert included) from local community services - the amount is proper, as opposed to normal greedy, and satisfies my elderly appetite. did I mention it costs $10? and guaranteed NO TRUMP, NONE
I wonder if people dining at these half-million-dollar-a-plate dinners bring protein bars and emergency snacks for the trip home? As my grandmother used to say, "That's not enough food to keep a bird alive."
Only two 'bros' who were desperate for his attention. However THEY expressed disappointment in not getting their 'one-on-one' with 'the president' as they'd been promised. He stopped in, made 'a few remarks into a mic' then left. I BET they blamed themselves for not donating more, instead of the conman grifter scam artist.
I’m surprised that he didn’t serve cold Mickey D’s in cardboard containers. Good enough for a winning football team ( not ) then good enough for a group of ass kissers who don’t have the brains to see the scam.
tRump’s dance move suggests his sexual capacity is limited to half-hearted ten second attempts to satisfy two men simultaneously with girths roughly equal to those of pencils
Yours was the first blog I subscribed financially to, back when I joined Substack and I have never, not once, regretted the outlay of shekels. Your invective is so spot-on and scabrous that if directed at me I would surely suffer third degree burns. In fact, I am afraid to cut you off in case you come after me, which I know to be highly unlikely given the rich targets available in the random land of the Free.
LOL! The straw thing! What the hell?? And that surf and turf "dinner" looks like a TV dinner shoveled onto a plate... good that the crypto boys got screwed. HA!
"what if it’s not windy? what if it’s not sunny?” I almost choked! 😂😂
Have a good long weekend to everyone in this awesome community. ✌️
That straw photo was hilarious especially with Dump's puckered lips sucking away on his drink. Remove the rest of that Cheeto dusted face and just leave the straw with those lips, there's a anatomical Kodak moment. Also, between that shitty food that makes Swanson's look edible and Dump's track record of screwing and grifting folks from all economic backgrounds, you'd think that some of these rich folks would know better by now.
The misogyny of the straw issue. You drink like a girl (says that being a girl is not something you want to be). You throw like a girl (again criticism of how girls throw). Same with crying. All these toxic masculine behaviors being reinforced so you're not shamed into acting like demonic girl. Ever notice that typical female behaviors are never praised. Never have I heard a man praised because he was kind and loving like a woman. This is what boys hear from the time they're born. Male behavior - good. Female behavior - weak and less than.
You are correct, when I read that it jogged my brain it’s so stupid! I confess to being a manly man and I probably should use straws because of my mustache but I don’t I have used a paper straw and I thought it was great. How did that make such a distraction!
If you want to stay a manly man, you need to pay attention to what kind of straws you use. There is a higher concentration of estrogen in one type compared to another. lol.
Yet 4 out of 5 ppl pushing baby strollers in my neighborhood are… men. Very interesting, as most growing families accept women working it would seem. Why can’t we give ourselves credit - the dads don’t seem uncomfortable. Good frick’n GRIEF this is exhausting >>>
I reminds me of tv dinners from the 70s, you know space food, with salisbury steaks, mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables, which I hate to this day. It was delivering nutrition, not flavorful. Of course, if one actually ate it on trays in front of the television you were less likely to notice it.
My mom was not about television at first, so I would live the real American life at my aunts. I think we would watch "The Partridge Family" during dinner when I ate at her house on occasion. This was my mom's younger, cooler sister.
In my house we did not have the television on during dinner, and my watching was restricted to programs that my mother felt were not offensive to Blacks, Women or Germans, so I had to sneak watch Hogans Heroes at my friend Debbie's house.
What I could watch was determined by my mom going through the tv guide with me on Sundays, with a pink or yellow highlighter and us negotiating what I could watch. I remember her commentary about all of the shows I watched, as she deconstructed them from a lens of race and feminism. "That Girl" was no longer cool when she decided to get married. I learned from her that Darrin in "Bewitched" was an alcoholic and should not need to down a triple martini when coming home from work. In fact, he was sexist and his wife's powers were her natural female powers, and he was trying to squelch her being herself. That is how we saw things.
Nothing about that time culinarily or tv wise makes me want to return to those good old days.
I don't remember watching TV, growing up, while we ate . My oldest 2 grew up in the 70's-80's, and I insisted that the TV be turned off then. I still would do that now if I had small children. Turn of the TV and put your phone in your room while we all eat together. And talk together like a family. I see no reason why you need to watch TV or look at your phone if you're having a meal with someone. No one really talks to anyone anymore. You go out to eat and everyone is looking at their phone. If that's the case, why not just go eat alone. Same difference. The ruination of human interaction.
Deborah, that is also how we raised our daughter who is now 20. Her friends would be over for dinner and then ask their parents to have family dinner and conversation. It is good to have the connection. We almost never have tech at the table, but we might on special occasions be watching a special event.
As a family we always at the kitchen table. However we had weekly "popcorn parties ". Dad would pop a big kettle of corn and we would watch CBS' great comedy lineup: Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and Caroll Burnett. Good memories.
You can always tell which couples are married when you’re eating out. The ones that are, are not talking to each other and looking at their phones. The dating ones are paying attention to each other. Just my observation, lol.
The Reagans ate on TV trays when in their White House residence. For a woman who thought she was better than everyone else, I thought it was tacky. TV trays as a table to me meant a middle-class fad.. .not fine dining.
perfectly good plate on computer table pull-out - tv to the side in case X is too tame (my late husband would be appalled - most civilized people would be.....the joys of solitude)
What a waste when they got to have a chef. The Obama's chef was the son of a colleague of mine, and he used to be baseball star of our school's team. A friend of mine coached it. I know that they had great food from Sam. Why would you not want to eat healthy, delicious, chef prepared meals each day?
Interesting. My parents bought the trays for some reason, and then bought four tv dinners to serve on them. We didn't own a tv. This was in the late Fifties. They were Swansons, and were awful. We never tried them again. When they finally got a tv (my 96 year old grandmother's tv) they put it in my former bedroom with a couple of chairs, so they could watch PBS or maybe a SF Giants game. My father was a professor and my mother was a librarian.
Douglas, I was not allowed to watch programs she considered offensive to Germans.
If you have seen Hogans Heroes you might know what I am talking about. All of the Germans in the series are idiots. Well, they might have been like that in the POW camps in Germany, but was still not what my mom wanted me to identify with, even though I did not. I also had brown-skinned US relatives stationed in the military in Germany growing up, so I related more to the US soldiers like everyone else did. I had to sneak watch it to see it though, because my mom told me how offensive it was.
However, as a teacher I can see the messages about Germans did influence me somewhat. Perhaps we should have such a show about Trump right now. A situation comedy where we show an ICE detention camp, and all of the people in it, like the foreign students, and others as outsmarting the stupid American guards and running a black market economy outside the prison.
Also, when I was growing up often the bad guys in shows either had terrible fake German or fake Russian accents. My mom did not want me watching the ones with the bad fake German accents.
YES!!! Those tv dinners the Salisbury steak & gravy gave us horrible gas! The potatoes gave you 3rd degree burns in your mouth & the mixed veggies were soggy! But we thought it was the best thing since sliced bread!!😂😂😂
Yikes, Swansons were horrible waste, just like the bow tied wastrel Cheryl… I loved everything hot, not even a handful of Tai peppers would make a Swansons dinner worth eating!!
Amusing post Linda, Hogans Heroes, Get Smart, Wild Kingdom were about the only shows I ever watched, aside from sports. The first TV I ever watched was a NY Yanks game. I’ve seen Bewitched, Green Acres, The Flying Nun, et al., yet never cared to spend time watching any of them, my mother didn’t care to censor anything that we watched, because my younger siblings were glued to the plethora of cartoons, which I had little interest in. Funniest part of this story was that I became a photographer and animator!!
At the same time that my viewing was censored, in part because my mother thought TV rotted your brain, and for the hour I was allowed each day, it had to be approved material. I did do extra watching by going over to friend's houses after school.
At the same time she made sure to find books where there were people with a variety of skin colors who were in families or friends, just as I had both brown and beige dolls, which is what we call the skin color of people who consider themselves "white." In any case, there was some conscious effort to raise me with a sense of my multiculturalness, that included censoring television, and hearing comments on how stupid so much of it was.
The right wing focuses like a laser ...and cheats a bit too to defeat...when Dems run good, decent candidates like Gore, HRC, & Kamala....all would have made good leaders. And in several cases the course of world history would be different and for the better.
Ditto Susan, I always use a straw when drinking a malt a long handled spoon accompanies the delicious task. The stunods that spent hundreds of thousands on dining with Dear leader, should have known better. Bon Weekend everyone!!
I use a straw with fountain drinks ( I only drink Coke - has to be Coke brand too). My favorite is Coke out of a can. Don't like soft drinks from plastic bottles or any beverage from metal containers. I didn't realize Cali doesn't have plastic bottles anymore and had to drink water in the airport from some kind of metal container. Yuk. Same with paper straws - no bueno. When I reread this, I am obviously a spoiled princess when it comes to beverages. But in my defense, I never litter, I do recycle, never smoked and threw butts on the ground nor polluted the air with cigarette smoke.
That dinner …truck stop diners are finer and, gulp, waaay less expensive. I love the burn on the bro’s! I got told off by a maga moron that he’s going to carry his 2nd amendment penis extender and I should just keep carrying my purse. I responded that I’m really good with my pretty little pink pepper spray (carried on dog walks against possible coyote attacks towards my pup). He sputtered and muttered about his ‘rights’. The funniest part was he was originally responding to a post about a local bomb threat. I said I wasn’t sure a gun could kill a bomb.I successfully triggered his dumb ass and it made my day!
I SO ENJOY triggering them. They come after me on twitter and now instagram (where I can write much longer posts to 'splain how things really work). I drive them completely nuts. One couldn't accept that my husband is a Combat Veteran AND when I asked if he didn't think that 'some' of us 'peaceful democrats' just might have 2A 'rights' in mind as well as he does he too sputtered a lot. Frankly, I don't, BUT I was channeling Kamala Harris at the time. ;)
how to choose? It was a VERY stupid week. Well done, Mr. Jeff! That's a heartwarming story of how the soon to be scammed were forced to munch on "Walmart steak." I wonder what the old demon said--it can't have made any sense.
Sadly, they’ll learn nothing and come back to be grifted again.
“If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.”
In other sadly’s, the folks in western North Carolina got played (again) by his trumpiness when fema denied the governor’s appeal for billions in cleanup funds Joey Biden promised before leaving office. This was pre approved moneys and requested new moneys. Trump’s lies just don’t get acknowledged by some people.
Jeff, thanks for this. May I humbly insert one little suggestion? Kristi Gnome. Habeas Corpus. If I missed it please forgive and you can throw the garbage from that mega-billion dinner at me.
A lot of crazy-rich young foreign suckers there, some even reportedly wore the gold-plated sneakers. A few complained that 47 didn't hand them their gold watches personally. The grand Crypto Fascist probably fled because he can only chew ground beef and the steak looked like a hocked-up tumor.
What I’d like to know is how people who are capable of amassing fafner’s hoardes of invisible money can get scammed by a guy known to be an Orange Imbecile? It obviously doesn’t take great intelligence to amass cash.
Amen. It was like the the clockwork mechanism of the universe clicked into place for a glorious moment. Food poisoning is a likely outcome of that almost fossilized collection of scrapings from a college cafeteria, circa 1972; one can only hope for the finishing touch......
It wins by a eleventy miles, they got the mashed potatoes and plate to the face. I would feel stupid if I was one of them but they think (sorta) differently than I.
I'm sure it was some of the same warmed-over "weave" we've all heard a million times now. The Dotard has a very limited vocabulary and brain. But he danced to YMCA!
Agree: MY mashed potatoes (which I rarely make anymore since they're a BIG dish for a group dinner such as Thanksgiving), involving butter, cream cheese AND sour cream., then baked in the Oven in my biggest (and oldest) Corning Ware after a light dusting with Paprika, are DIVINE.
Li’l Timmeh Burchett, as he’s known around these parts, is so stupid he forgets to swallow his own spit.* To be fair, he’s an intellectual heavyweight compared to most of Tennessee’s other “representatives.”
————
*many thanks to my late great mother-in-law for this stupidity-delineating phrase, which I’ve used many times over the years.
My mom’s disparaging phrase was: ‘He thinks his shit is ice cream’. I laughed hysterically when she said it because she was a sweet, kind person who never before had uttered a ‘dirty’ word 🤓
is on his “own time” here and has little time for your questions! He’s gotta go back to the Oval Orifice and punch the clock and be on “Government time”!
First they came for quiche, and I said nothing because, as a real man, I don't eat quiche,
Next they came for carob, and I said nothing because, since chocolate exists, I didn't eat carob,
Then they came for Kale, and I said nothing because who the hell eats kale,
When they came for quinoa, I said nothing because I cannot pronounce "quinoa",
And now, they've come for straws, and I cannot speak because I've got a massive ice cream headache from trying to chug an entire thick milkshake right out of the cup
Truth in plain sight, announce plans... like project 2025, like frump family isn't corrupt like Biden family because they are doing it all transparently. OK got it
“can we finally close the book on this time-wasting toxic male bullshit?”
No. No, we apparently can’t. Without it, what else would MAGAts have to nourish and promote their deeply seated hatred of women and resentment about the size of their penises?
Sporkfoot forgot to add "thrifty" to her awesome c.v. She's saved tens, perhaps hundreds of dollars by writing her own press releases. It's not a stupid week without a reference to Jesse Watters.
Did Marge ever repay her Covid money handout(s)? From her not-twitter post that started her "conversation" with grok: "...in the greatest country in the world...where nothing is given and all is earned."
substack was down for about ten minutes while I was trying to post this. longest ten minutes of my life
If your post doesn’t come up on time, I get the D.T.s, the Donald Trumps, and the shaking is just awful
seriously, about a year ago — I forget the reason why, but I didn't finish writing until about 1pm (new york time) and around noon I started getting emails from people asking if I was ok. which is kind of weird
Not to burden you, but thousands of us need you each day more than we need our morning coffee. We’ve developed a serious dependency - and that apparently includes the great John Oliver, who posted that you are his necessary read of the day because you provide much needed outrage laced with exactly the right quantity of Fuck Yous
Bob thank you for speaking on behalf of the multitude of subscribers who may be slightly slow on a Saturday morning. Your words were profound and reflect much of the readership’s appreciation of Jeff and for his wise and sometimes very funny posts. Well done, sir.
Amen
ALWAYS funny, even in the face of the worst situations. I repeat: Jeff's posts save my sanity, mostly because I laugh out loud so often at his take on the fuckwit orange toddler, and can then begin my day with a smile instead of my former PISSED-OFF expression. ;}
Yup!
Ha this is perfectly said!
👍🏼🌺🤙🏼🌺😎
Indeed. Sweet, but also kinda... scary
exactly
Brings this to mind, just a bit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs
Ha! Good one!
It's because we love you!
Many of us rely on people like you and Robin Snyder to keep us sane.
I read Jeff and Wonkette because I need validation. I get so pissed off and all you folks make me know my anger is justified.
Not sort of weird in this day and time. I am sure you have made the cut of people that might just disappear one day - never to heard from again. Keep a burner phone!
I deliberately DON'T start looking for your post of the day until well after 1p.m. - just so you can catch a BREATH! You must have other things to do - especially on weekends with Mrs. Spouse (who probably gets annoyed by all of us for taking up so much of your precious time). Still, when I see your post in my email it's a HUGE bright spot, although I confess I'M one of those who worries too if I don't see your post at all...mostly though - about the cultists trying to disappear you somewhere.
Omg, really? Lololol.
When this dinner was advertised as an "intimate dinner for 220 people," I knew that anyone who understood the meaning of the word "intimate" was going to be disappointed. Not even Donnie can grab the crotch of two hundred and twenty men on a single night.
"Intimate" probably meant that the morsel of meat, fragment of fish, tablespoon of sauce, 1/8 cup of mashed potatoes, and four bitty carrots would be tightly snuggled together on the plate.
I've never seen Surf & Turf with white fish. I could get a fancier meal at Red Lobster. The way wealthy people expect to be fawned over all the time is laughable.
I put that on twitter as well. Surf and Turf was ALWAYS lobster tail and steak (of one's choice) - usually filet mignon. That is, when I did eat such fare. I don't remember when the last time I had anything remotely resembling such heavy food - perhaps a **Ruth's Chris 15 or so years ago on a trip to Scottsdale? I've only just realized how my choice of food has changed over the years. I DID hope those walmart steaks might do the job we're all hoping for and kick his barely functioning arteries right in the pants.
**I mention Ruth's Chris Steak House because THEIR filet mignons are literally BAKED in the oven in BUTTER. Absolutely melt-iin-your-mouth delicious IF one doesn't have dietary/arterial issues. I've been pondering if I'm willing to chip in to send orange baby there. Might be a sacrifice worth considering.
Don't waste your money. If it isn't burnt to a tasteless crisp and covered with catsup Trump won't eat it. We'll have to find another way.
Yeah....the presentation looks as if it was done by somebody who'd dropped acid.
I've been to many Harmonica Conventions - NOT at the highest-end Hotels for the most part, and this looks exactly like the kind of food served at the Saturday Night Banquets, fwiw. Mostly cold by the time it reaches the last tab;es to be served. Dessert is already on the table as are the salads (always with vinaigrette which I don't eat.). Impossible to get plain salad. Did anyone notice that donny demento is a cheap son-of-a-bitch among his other 'qualities'?
Cheap and tacky.
lol, they WARNED us not to eat the brown acid.
that white thing was fish? I thought it was a Chinese dumpling, which was kinda weird. bit o' fish works tho
I thought it was chicken.
It looked like a found object.
Halibut - according to the guy who donated $300,000 and took the photo.
I like halibut, but $300,000 is a bit steep (haha, that's about as much as I've spent so far feeding myself for nearly 90 years)
And some of the attendees said the food was good?? Looked like something I'd hastily put together eating solo.
Everything was overcooked. And only in cafeterias do they use an ice cream scoop to serve mashed potatoes (and why mashed? Because they're made from potato flakes and artificial flavoring). Baked potatoes served with sour cream would cost more, and those overcooked, limp vegs are obviously from frozen. Surf & turf should be served with salad and baked potato, crusty rolls and fresh fruit for dessert. I'll bet there was "beautiful chocolate cake," Donny's favorite.
It looked awful!! Couldn’t tell if those were mashed potatoes or rice!! The filet looked like it was under cooked and the fish overcooked!!
I was unable to identify that crusty shingle as ‘fish’. And that gelatinous glop over the steak freaked me out. The whole mess looks like a Denny’s senior special.
looks like the main course I get (for $10 delivered hot, salad soup & dessert included) from local community services - the amount is proper, as opposed to normal greedy, and satisfies my elderly appetite. did I mention it costs $10? and guaranteed NO TRUMP, NONE
I wonder if people dining at these half-million-dollar-a-plate dinners bring protein bars and emergency snacks for the trip home? As my grandmother used to say, "That's not enough food to keep a bird alive."
My dad used to tell waitresses at coffee shops that his daughter ate like a bird...pause...a condor! (Huge dad laugh as waitress backs away slowly.)
Only two 'bros' who were desperate for his attention. However THEY expressed disappointment in not getting their 'one-on-one' with 'the president' as they'd been promised. He stopped in, made 'a few remarks into a mic' then left. I BET they blamed themselves for not donating more, instead of the conman grifter scam artist.
I’m surprised that he didn’t serve cold Mickey D’s in cardboard containers. Good enough for a winning football team ( not ) then good enough for a group of ass kissers who don’t have the brains to see the scam.
tRump’s dance move suggests his sexual capacity is limited to half-hearted ten second attempts to satisfy two men simultaneously with girths roughly equal to those of pencils
Bob-😆😆😆😆
We COULD have a contest to 'name frump's dance' (strictly off limits to magats). I'll start: the jerkoff pump & dump? (covers all bases).
The Herky Double-Jerky Turkey
Oooo, vicious!
🤣🤣🤣😂😂
😂😂😂
Not even with both hands
Our space lasers really are awesome. They can do almost anything.😉
I need a certain scam reno guy lazered - please post price schedule
Yeah, I ended up posting some notes like three times thinking I did something wrong
Yours was the first blog I subscribed financially to, back when I joined Substack and I have never, not once, regretted the outlay of shekels. Your invective is so spot-on and scabrous that if directed at me I would surely suffer third degree burns. In fact, I am afraid to cut you off in case you come after me, which I know to be highly unlikely given the rich targets available in the random land of the Free.
me exactly.....
Same.
So, you’re the one that broke it!
Who, NOT "that."
Thank you,
At this time of day, sometimes it's difficult to get the grammar correct...
Surely that should be "by whom it was broken"?
😵💫
You forgot to mention those lovely (likely made in China) black hats they got in their party bags.
It was the Jewish Space Lazers.
LOL! The straw thing! What the hell?? And that surf and turf "dinner" looks like a TV dinner shoveled onto a plate... good that the crypto boys got screwed. HA!
"what if it’s not windy? what if it’s not sunny?” I almost choked! 😂😂
Have a good long weekend to everyone in this awesome community. ✌️
That straw photo was hilarious especially with Dump's puckered lips sucking away on his drink. Remove the rest of that Cheeto dusted face and just leave the straw with those lips, there's a anatomical Kodak moment. Also, between that shitty food that makes Swanson's look edible and Dump's track record of screwing and grifting folks from all economic backgrounds, you'd think that some of these rich folks would know better by now.
The misogyny of the straw issue. You drink like a girl (says that being a girl is not something you want to be). You throw like a girl (again criticism of how girls throw). Same with crying. All these toxic masculine behaviors being reinforced so you're not shamed into acting like demonic girl. Ever notice that typical female behaviors are never praised. Never have I heard a man praised because he was kind and loving like a woman. This is what boys hear from the time they're born. Male behavior - good. Female behavior - weak and less than.
You are correct, when I read that it jogged my brain it’s so stupid! I confess to being a manly man and I probably should use straws because of my mustache but I don’t I have used a paper straw and I thought it was great. How did that make such a distraction!
If you want to stay a manly man, you need to pay attention to what kind of straws you use. There is a higher concentration of estrogen in one type compared to another. lol.
Yet 4 out of 5 ppl pushing baby strollers in my neighborhood are… men. Very interesting, as most growing families accept women working it would seem. Why can’t we give ourselves credit - the dads don’t seem uncomfortable. Good frick’n GRIEF this is exhausting >>>
Real men actually help in raising their children. Only lazy scum do not.
Of course Hunter Biden he has those space lasers and that is when it all started with him I don’t know how I missed it!
I reminds me of tv dinners from the 70s, you know space food, with salisbury steaks, mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables, which I hate to this day. It was delivering nutrition, not flavorful. Of course, if one actually ate it on trays in front of the television you were less likely to notice it.
My mom was not about television at first, so I would live the real American life at my aunts. I think we would watch "The Partridge Family" during dinner when I ate at her house on occasion. This was my mom's younger, cooler sister.
In my house we did not have the television on during dinner, and my watching was restricted to programs that my mother felt were not offensive to Blacks, Women or Germans, so I had to sneak watch Hogans Heroes at my friend Debbie's house.
What I could watch was determined by my mom going through the tv guide with me on Sundays, with a pink or yellow highlighter and us negotiating what I could watch. I remember her commentary about all of the shows I watched, as she deconstructed them from a lens of race and feminism. "That Girl" was no longer cool when she decided to get married. I learned from her that Darrin in "Bewitched" was an alcoholic and should not need to down a triple martini when coming home from work. In fact, he was sexist and his wife's powers were her natural female powers, and he was trying to squelch her being herself. That is how we saw things.
Nothing about that time culinarily or tv wise makes me want to return to those good old days.
I don't remember watching TV, growing up, while we ate . My oldest 2 grew up in the 70's-80's, and I insisted that the TV be turned off then. I still would do that now if I had small children. Turn of the TV and put your phone in your room while we all eat together. And talk together like a family. I see no reason why you need to watch TV or look at your phone if you're having a meal with someone. No one really talks to anyone anymore. You go out to eat and everyone is looking at their phone. If that's the case, why not just go eat alone. Same difference. The ruination of human interaction.
Deborah, that is also how we raised our daughter who is now 20. Her friends would be over for dinner and then ask their parents to have family dinner and conversation. It is good to have the connection. We almost never have tech at the table, but we might on special occasions be watching a special event.
As a family we always at the kitchen table. However we had weekly "popcorn parties ". Dad would pop a big kettle of corn and we would watch CBS' great comedy lineup: Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart, and Caroll Burnett. Good memories.
didn't have tv when I was a kid (I'm old & grew up off the beaten track) so we just ate in silence
Oh, we talked.
Like your style Deborah, TV and phones don’t belong anywhere near the dinner table!!
You can always tell which couples are married when you’re eating out. The ones that are, are not talking to each other and looking at their phones. The dating ones are paying attention to each other. Just my observation, lol.
HA! I hear ya! That Girl...wow. I remember.
My grandparents saved the TV trays and put leftovers from big dinners in them, then put them in the freezer. Waste not, want not!!
Recycling’s Origin Story
My parents' family motto, and ours today.
The Reagans ate on TV trays when in their White House residence. For a woman who thought she was better than everyone else, I thought it was tacky. TV trays as a table to me meant a middle-class fad.. .not fine dining.
I just had breakfast of re-warmed tacos and ate 'em right off the microwave dish - PERFECTLY GOOD PLATE
perfectly good plate on computer table pull-out - tv to the side in case X is too tame (my late husband would be appalled - most civilized people would be.....the joys of solitude)
Gina, in five years, when I'm your age, does that mean I'll be able to use a microwave? Me, being a Luddite again.
as long as you eat off the microwave glass thingy (cutlery permitted)
What a waste when they got to have a chef. The Obama's chef was the son of a colleague of mine, and he used to be baseball star of our school's team. A friend of mine coached it. I know that they had great food from Sam. Why would you not want to eat healthy, delicious, chef prepared meals each day?
slumming
Interesting. My parents bought the trays for some reason, and then bought four tv dinners to serve on them. We didn't own a tv. This was in the late Fifties. They were Swansons, and were awful. We never tried them again. When they finally got a tv (my 96 year old grandmother's tv) they put it in my former bedroom with a couple of chairs, so they could watch PBS or maybe a SF Giants game. My father was a professor and my mother was a librarian.
Mom made ypu watch programs NOT offensive to .....Germans???!! 😅😂
Douglas, I was not allowed to watch programs she considered offensive to Germans.
If you have seen Hogans Heroes you might know what I am talking about. All of the Germans in the series are idiots. Well, they might have been like that in the POW camps in Germany, but was still not what my mom wanted me to identify with, even though I did not. I also had brown-skinned US relatives stationed in the military in Germany growing up, so I related more to the US soldiers like everyone else did. I had to sneak watch it to see it though, because my mom told me how offensive it was.
However, as a teacher I can see the messages about Germans did influence me somewhat. Perhaps we should have such a show about Trump right now. A situation comedy where we show an ICE detention camp, and all of the people in it, like the foreign students, and others as outsmarting the stupid American guards and running a black market economy outside the prison.
Also, when I was growing up often the bad guys in shows either had terrible fake German or fake Russian accents. My mom did not want me watching the ones with the bad fake German accents.
YES!!! Those tv dinners the Salisbury steak & gravy gave us horrible gas! The potatoes gave you 3rd degree burns in your mouth & the mixed veggies were soggy! But we thought it was the best thing since sliced bread!!😂😂😂
Yikes, Swansons were horrible waste, just like the bow tied wastrel Cheryl… I loved everything hot, not even a handful of Tai peppers would make a Swansons dinner worth eating!!
Amusing post Linda, Hogans Heroes, Get Smart, Wild Kingdom were about the only shows I ever watched, aside from sports. The first TV I ever watched was a NY Yanks game. I’ve seen Bewitched, Green Acres, The Flying Nun, et al., yet never cared to spend time watching any of them, my mother didn’t care to censor anything that we watched, because my younger siblings were glued to the plethora of cartoons, which I had little interest in. Funniest part of this story was that I became a photographer and animator!!
At the same time that my viewing was censored, in part because my mother thought TV rotted your brain, and for the hour I was allowed each day, it had to be approved material. I did do extra watching by going over to friend's houses after school.
At the same time she made sure to find books where there were people with a variety of skin colors who were in families or friends, just as I had both brown and beige dolls, which is what we call the skin color of people who consider themselves "white." In any case, there was some conscious effort to raise me with a sense of my multiculturalness, that included censoring television, and hearing comments on how stupid so much of it was.
Tennessee has some of the most stupid politicians in the country! 🙄
Can confirm. And to think we once were capable of electing the likes of Al Gore. 😐
Truth! And to think that once upon a time, Texassistan gave us LBJ and the late great Ann Richards (former governor).
…and the fabulous Molly Ivins!
YES!!! IIRC, she's the one who gave GWB the moniker of "Shrub."
The right wing focuses like a laser ...and cheats a bit too to defeat...when Dems run good, decent candidates like Gore, HRC, & Kamala....all would have made good leaders. And in several cases the course of world history would be different and for the better.
“cheats a bit”? Cheats a lot.
I know, exactly!!
Ditto Susan, I always use a straw when drinking a malt a long handled spoon accompanies the delicious task. The stunods that spent hundreds of thousands on dining with Dear leader, should have known better. Bon Weekend everyone!!
I use a straw with fountain drinks ( I only drink Coke - has to be Coke brand too). My favorite is Coke out of a can. Don't like soft drinks from plastic bottles or any beverage from metal containers. I didn't realize Cali doesn't have plastic bottles anymore and had to drink water in the airport from some kind of metal container. Yuk. Same with paper straws - no bueno. When I reread this, I am obviously a spoiled princess when it comes to beverages. But in my defense, I never litter, I do recycle, never smoked and threw butts on the ground nor polluted the air with cigarette smoke.
Is she angling for the Treasury job with...'what if it's not sunny.....'??. That's what D says....
That food looked awful
Surprised that it wasn't smothered in ketchup.
I’ve seen tastier food in dog dishes Eva!!
Back atcha! 💙
1. I don’t know what the Q lady is complaining about. At least the dumb asses get a heads up instead of a bald faced lie.
2. That food looks like a three day old dumpster meal
3. Marg arguing with a chatbot is prime SNL material.
Wait! 34 times the Simpsons predicted the future, 34 felony convictions for orange Hitler. It’s almost as if the Deep State has a sense of proportion
And a sense of humor, which is more than I can say for any friggin Republican I’ve ever met.
…and all of this is an elaborate cover for the simple fact R’s HAVE NO IDEAS!!! For anyone! GEEZus
If there is a deep state, then this must be the shallow state.
They simply pay attention to the fuck heads who announce their stupidity! It's not Nostradamas-level predicting.
Lordy, can you imagine having her for a mother?
No
Wow- that would be as terrible as someone named Donny Two-Dolls as the President of your United States,eh?
Can't imagine a man crazy, or desperate enough, to think breeding with her was a good idea.
Her argumentative use of a computer app goes to show you in her mind she is a genius. Oh Sporky don’t call Grog stupid you already lost that one too.
That dinner …truck stop diners are finer and, gulp, waaay less expensive. I love the burn on the bro’s! I got told off by a maga moron that he’s going to carry his 2nd amendment penis extender and I should just keep carrying my purse. I responded that I’m really good with my pretty little pink pepper spray (carried on dog walks against possible coyote attacks towards my pup). He sputtered and muttered about his ‘rights’. The funniest part was he was originally responding to a post about a local bomb threat. I said I wasn’t sure a gun could kill a bomb.I successfully triggered his dumb ass and it made my day!
I SO ENJOY triggering them. They come after me on twitter and now instagram (where I can write much longer posts to 'splain how things really work). I drive them completely nuts. One couldn't accept that my husband is a Combat Veteran AND when I asked if he didn't think that 'some' of us 'peaceful democrats' just might have 2A 'rights' in mind as well as he does he too sputtered a lot. Frankly, I don't, BUT I was channeling Kamala Harris at the time. ;)
how to choose? It was a VERY stupid week. Well done, Mr. Jeff! That's a heartwarming story of how the soon to be scammed were forced to munch on "Walmart steak." I wonder what the old demon said--it can't have made any sense.
I think the bros getting scammed out of hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars was my favorite thing that happened this week
Sadly, they’ll learn nothing and come back to be grifted again.
“If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you.”
- Lyndon B. Johnson
In other sadly’s, the folks in western North Carolina got played (again) by his trumpiness when fema denied the governor’s appeal for billions in cleanup funds Joey Biden promised before leaving office. This was pre approved moneys and requested new moneys. Trump’s lies just don’t get acknowledged by some people.
Bob, you nailed it.
Amen.
I hope the crappy food gave all the cryptobro suckups the trots
They may have assworms from the food. They're related to brainstorms. When they're done down there they go up there.
Explains RFK, Jr.
🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂yes!!!
Couldn’t happen to a skeevier bunch 👏🏼
Jeff, thanks for this. May I humbly insert one little suggestion? Kristi Gnome. Habeas Corpus. If I missed it please forgive and you can throw the garbage from that mega-billion dinner at me.
Yeah, Kristi! that was the moment for me, too!!!
Good one, Jan🤓
A lot of crazy-rich young foreign suckers there, some even reportedly wore the gold-plated sneakers. A few complained that 47 didn't hand them their gold watches personally. The grand Crypto Fascist probably fled because he can only chew ground beef and the steak looked like a hocked-up tumor.
HOCKED UP TUMOR!
LOL -hilarious
steak (?!) def well done
What I’d like to know is how people who are capable of amassing fafner’s hoardes of invisible money can get scammed by a guy known to be an Orange Imbecile? It obviously doesn’t take great intelligence to amass cash.
Who says they know he’s an imbecile? they all watch Faux NotNews and Maria Bartolommeo and listen to that crap
Amen. It was like the the clockwork mechanism of the universe clicked into place for a glorious moment. Food poisoning is a likely outcome of that almost fossilized collection of scrapings from a college cafeteria, circa 1972; one can only hope for the finishing touch......
It wins by a eleventy miles, they got the mashed potatoes and plate to the face. I would feel stupid if I was one of them but they think (sorta) differently than I.
I agree!!
👆🎯❤️👏👏
I'm sure it was some of the same warmed-over "weave" we've all heard a million times now. The Dotard has a very limited vocabulary and brain. But he danced to YMCA!
That meal looks like food served in a care home
I wonder if those are instant mashed potatoes?
I am an accomplished home cook, and those sure AF look like instant potatoes to me.
Agree: MY mashed potatoes (which I rarely make anymore since they're a BIG dish for a group dinner such as Thanksgiving), involving butter, cream cheese AND sour cream., then baked in the Oven in my biggest (and oldest) Corning Ware after a light dusting with Paprika, are DIVINE.
Looks like instant mash
Sir, oh sir, we have 220 guests - should we wash & peel 300 potatoes?
Nah, get the Aldi mashed in a box flakes you numbskull!
…said Moe to Curly.
Sure looks like it.
With Drumpf in mind, I'd say the food looks like it was from an "I don't care" home. Melania would be on board.
Oh, now that one is good…and true.
Li’l Timmeh Burchett, as he’s known around these parts, is so stupid he forgets to swallow his own spit.* To be fair, he’s an intellectual heavyweight compared to most of Tennessee’s other “representatives.”
————
*many thanks to my late great mother-in-law for this stupidity-delineating phrase, which I’ve used many times over the years.
Can I steal that line about forgetting to swallow his own spit? Priceless!
Sure! I stole it from my MIL, and I know she’d be fine with it.
omg that's my laugh of the week.....and there really is a place called East Jesus?? Only in Tennessee....!!
East Jesus is a state of mind. 😄
It’s just what my friends and I call all of upper East Tennessee. To be fair, this area is justifiably known as “God’s country.”
east Jesus - I love it
o.k. makes sense….now I understand! Citizen of the Great White North here! aka Canada.
My mom’s disparaging phrase was: ‘He thinks his shit is ice cream’. I laughed hysterically when she said it because she was a sweet, kind person who never before had uttered a ‘dirty’ word 🤓
Have to admit - that's a LOT funnier than my MIL's 'he thinks his shit doesn't stink' which WAS funny at the time. I like your Mom's a lot better. :)
They are both funny🤣
"“He just gave a few remarks and left,” one said."
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T GIVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT ANY OF YOU WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING WAKE UP AND REALIZE THIS
Or as a friend suggests it’s just more difficult for him after sundown…(?!)
Just pay up you moe-ron’s! Dear Leader
is on his “own time” here and has little time for your questions! He’s gotta go back to the Oval Orifice and punch the clock and be on “Government time”!
capeche?(sp)
close enough: 'capisce'.
First they came for quiche, and I said nothing because, as a real man, I don't eat quiche,
Next they came for carob, and I said nothing because, since chocolate exists, I didn't eat carob,
Then they came for Kale, and I said nothing because who the hell eats kale,
When they came for quinoa, I said nothing because I cannot pronounce "quinoa",
And now, they've come for straws, and I cannot speak because I've got a massive ice cream headache from trying to chug an entire thick milkshake right out of the cup
snort (oops, not when thick milkshake is in position)
😆😆😆😆
Now THAT is fucking FUNNY!
DON'T CHOO PEOPLE KNOW THAT SUCKING A STRAW IS ONE STEP FROM SUCKING A DICK??
/s
Christ, WTF is 𝑊𝑅𝑂𝑁𝐺 with these people?
Ha, that’s a good point. Using a straw to suck up liquids must arouse in them some uncomfortable, unwanted feelings.
BINGO! It's been scientifically proven that homophobes are often closeted, self-loathing homosexuals themselves --https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/homophobes-might-be-hidden-homosexuals/
Could it be more obvious? Heterosexual men obsess with getting women into bed, not what men are doing in bed. Together.
Homophobes think about gay sex more than gays think about gay sex.
Everything.
Mazel tough - love it! Thanks for my morning chuckles Jeff, and keep up the good work!
Truth in plain sight, announce plans... like project 2025, like frump family isn't corrupt like Biden family because they are doing it all transparently. OK got it
If there is a Space Laser it most assuredly will demonstrate its presence by zapping one yapping irritant from the Georgia woods in broad daylight.
🤞🏻
I don’t know who the hell Liz Crokin is but she sounds like she belongs in a rubber room
I think she's the (actually) brain damaged woman who is a crazy conspiracy theorist, so the magats can totally relate to her.
“can we finally close the book on this time-wasting toxic male bullshit?”
No. No, we apparently can’t. Without it, what else would MAGAts have to nourish and promote their deeply seated hatred of women and resentment about the size of their penises?
Sporkfoot forgot to add "thrifty" to her awesome c.v. She's saved tens, perhaps hundreds of dollars by writing her own press releases. It's not a stupid week without a reference to Jesse Watters.
Did Marge ever repay her Covid money handout(s)? From her not-twitter post that started her "conversation" with grok: "...in the greatest country in the world...where nothing is given and all is earned."