this week in stupid: May 19 edition
mermaids are real, James Comer's whistleblower is not real, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
saturday: mermaids are here and they’re coming to fuck your shit
this is self-styled “prophet” Amanda Grace. she’s speaking at the bedbug-infested Trump Doral golf motel. and I’m guessing that the bedbugs have drilled their way right into the center of her brain, because … well, you have to listen to this clip to believe it.
actually, you still won’t believe it, even after you hear it. mermaids? what in actual fuck?
sunday: sherlock moron and the case of the missing whistleblower
look, it’s happened to all of us. you’ve got your air-tight case all wrapped up. finally, you’re going to nail the Biden Crime Family’s shit right to the wall. this it: your big moment in the sun. and then … your whistleblower goes missing.
you look everywhere. you rack your brain. where was the last place you saw him? did you check under the couch cushions?
oh James Comer, you magnificient moron. never stop stepping on those rakes, my friend.
monday: canada is here and it’s coming to fuck your shit
wingnuts are the gift that keeps on giving. every day they find something new to get worked up about. it doesn’t matter how totally fucking ludicrous it is. one day it’s mermaids. another day it’s … Canada?
yes, Canada.
on Tuesday, the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex had a complete fucking meltdown over the Canadian province of Alberta becoming America’s 51st state.
never mind that the entire story is a nothingburger that revolves around a half-dozen no-influence Canadian crackpots with a poorly-followed twitter account.
you do you, wingnuts.
tuesday: tHe SmArTeSt MaN iN tHe UnIvErSe can’t stop fucking that chicken
because standing up for white supremacy and amplifying antisemitic tropes is a great way to attract advertisers, right?
right?
wait, did you just “rest in peace” Jeffrey Epstein?
keep on fucking that chicken, bro.
wednesday: Clay Higgins is a perfectly reasonable human being
meet Clay Higgins. Clay is a Republican Representative from Louisiana.
Clay has a well-known anger management problem.
in the video above, watch Clay’s perfectly reasonable reaction to ordinary citizen Jake Burdette’s questions.
Jake needs to be filing charges, wouldn’t you agree?
thursday: large black man terrifies three-toed racist
welcome back Marge, we missed you! somehow, you managed to go two whole weeks without an appearance in ‘this week in stupid.’
but here you are, whining that you felt threatened by Jamaal Bowman, for being large, loud, and — here’s the worst part — black.
Jamaal Bowman is a Democratic Representative from New York. I’ve been in the same room with Jamaal and I can confirm that he is indeed black, he is indeed large and he is indeed very loud. but you know what? I didn’t feel threatened by Jamaal. because I’m not a fucking three-toed racist.
you know what is threating behavior?
this:
and this:
Marjorie Three-Toes Greene, class act.
friday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
Boy, the genie of fuckedup-stupid, is totally out of its bottle and it appears, never to crawl back in again, even to take a rest. Seriously though, I am saddened and horrified with what the orange scum wrought upon our country. And don't give any shit like it was like this before he came on the political scene and he's just the symptom. The piece of shit is the cause of it all. Congratulations putin, you sure picked the right demented, narcissistic sociopath. And by the way, king of insanity (putin) FUCK YOU.
Thanks, Jeff! It's been a jaw-dropping week but, as long the profit-driven corporate media continues to cover the wing nuts for their lede stories, all weeks will be the same. I was especially happy that Marge, the garbage barge, finally owned up to the fact that she can dish it out, but she can't take it. Boo hoo.