268 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

honorable mention: Kid Rock closing his restaurant down so that ICE couldn't deport all his undocumented workers

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Jeff, the one donkey/two donkey thing is a little complicated, but I will give you the whole story. In the Gospels of Mark, Luke, and John, Jesus rides into Jerusalem on one donkey. Just like a normal person would.

The Gospel of Matthew is very interested in the Old Testament, and he quotes the whole verse: "Behold, your king shall come to you riding on an ass, and on a colt the foal of an ass."

I think that's Zechariah 9:9.

Matthew is also kind of pedantic, so he assumes that Jesus would fulfill this prophecy super precisely by actually riding two animals at the same time, one of which is too small to be ridden. So that's why there are two donkeys in the Gospel of Matthew.

I know this because I got my PhD in Biblical Studies. I also have a Jewish great grandmother, and by halaka my father is a Jew. so you, Jesus, and me are cousins !!! is that cool or what !!!

Richard Von Busack's avatar

I saw this movie where Zorro rode two horses, and I figure whatever Zorro can do, Jesus can do.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Finally! The Zorro-Jesus connection I've been dreaming about.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

But I think it’s heresy to wonder about who would win in a Zorro/Jesus fight

Tardigret's avatar

Clearly, any time Zorro was about to get in a good sword swipe, Jesus would just levitate, then come back down

Richard Von Busack's avatar

“If you kill me, I will become more powerful than you can imagine.” Jesus said this years before Obi-Wan did.

Randy Woodall's avatar

Jesus vs. Zorro. This could be the next big blockbuster MCU movie!

Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Even better! Maybe standing up?

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Yes, that is exactly what Zorro did in this documentary about Zorro called "The Mask of Zorro"

P123Sunny's avatar

Thx for the additional color commentary, Richard VB

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Can't argue with that! Bet Superman could too.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

I have no doubt that Batman did this, during his trip to Argentina visiting the Batman of Argentina who is called "El Gaucho."

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Religion - waaaay too complicated. I never understood one word of it.

BluDotInARedSewer's avatar

When I own a book store, the bible is going to be in the fiction section. just as gawd intended it.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Probably because it was fiction of the type that was poorly translated and contradictory.

Dave Drell's avatar

It’s the opiate of the masses.

David Skoglund's avatar

Modern day religion is nothing more than current mythology. Centuries from now people will be studying it just like we study Greek gods now.

Joe Bacon's avatar

Meanwhile I have Jesusbot relatives who INSIST that JC rode into Jerusalem on a raptor and they reply that's what Ken Mr. Ark Park Ham says...

Diana Hembree's avatar

I had years of sword drills (Bible study where you see who can look up a Bible verse the fastest) and I never saw anything about riding a raptor (!) into Jerusalem. :)

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Because like the rapture bullshit, it is fan fiction.

Joe Bacon's avatar

Seems Ken Ham has paintings of that at his Ark Park Ripoff!

Tardigret's avatar

I now live close enough to the Ark ripoff to go there on a day trip. But I'd have to figure out a way to sneak in, cuz I'm not giving Ken Ham a single penny to get in

🌷IntheHalloftheMtnKing's avatar

Sigh... I know people that went there too

RandomHuman's avatar

So like, J riding in on a mama donkey and a colt is carrying the baby donkey and biblical scholars interpret that to mean J rides in on two horses? wtf?

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Matthew says that there were two donkeys. No one says that there were two horses.

Mary Greenwald's avatar

Although when King James spent all those years translating the Bible into English, he may have been so tired he mistranslated by the time he got to Matthew. Make you wonder about the weirdness in the later books.

Robert Eckert's avatar

No, the text of Matthew is bad in the Greek

longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Really? All those years studying Greek and I never touched New Testament Greek. My advice is stick to Euripides.

RandomHuman's avatar

I'm responding to this: "Behold, your king shall come to you riding on an ass, and on a colt the foal of an ass."

Kathleen Weber's avatar

All the interpreters that I know think that the colt is in another way of referring to the foal. In other words, the colt and the foal are the same young donkey.

RandomHuman's avatar

oh so on a colt THAT IS the foal of an ass ok i can see that i guess

Sköll's avatar

And how about the Balaam & the Donkey story where the Donkey speaks? Pretty cool read.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Trump's big ugly bill will not sail through Congress, and we can have an impact on it. There are ways to put some roadblocks in front of this bill. We need to take advantage of Republican infighting.

Defeat Trump's ᗺig ᗺackassward ᗺoondoggle

https://kathleenweber.substack.com/p/trumps-ig-ackassward-oondoggle/comments

Brenda Doherty's avatar

The elected Democrats have been pounded for not doing enough to derail Trump, but the House Democrats have worked hard to slow down and resist the “big, beautiful tax bill bill” with little power.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

The Republicans are so divided over this bill, that I think in the end they will need some Democratic votes to pass it, and the Democrats will be able to change it at a certain amount for the better. Please read my post!

Monique's avatar

Here is a novel idea: Democrats DON'T vote for ANY Republican bill, ever. Just like what Republicans did when Obama and Biden were presidents.

skangirl's avatar

I rag on my first-term (D) congressdouche to fucking DO SOMETHING ALREADY! No more "strongly worded memos" either.

Do something like get all the (D)s to chain themselves together and block access to the floor of Congress. Stage a sit-in and sing Kumbaya non-stop. Stand up and turn their backs on every (R) when they start to talk. Hell, use bathrooms that are marked with an icon of the opposite gender.

MAKE SOME GOOD TROUBLE!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I agree with much of this but NOT handcuffing or chaining themselves - because that will give frump and his magat thugs the excuse they need to publicly ARREST and possibly even send OUR Democratic congresspeople to that fucking gulag in El Salvador - or Guantanamo! You know they're itching to do this and there's nothing we could do to stop it UNLESS we're there, physically, in numbers SO great to prevent it. Even Scotus would not be able to get them out or back. Making GOOD TROUBLE is assuredly correct but they can't put themselves IN the thugs' hands. And this is the quandary many of them face as much as we do. Are YOU willing to be disappeared or even killed?

MARY's avatar

No D votes on any of their nominations or bills! It's the only card they have to play as this regime dismembers our democracy

longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

ESPECIALLY NO VOTES ON ALL republican NOMINATIONS!

RandomHuman's avatar

Big Bloated Boondogle

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Big Badly Built Butch Body Boondoggle

Anne's avatar

yea for Kid Rock!!! but I thought he was total Maga...oh wait... check my notes... "affects him personally, then he's against it". Ok, all is right with the world. But whyever he did it, at least he did it.

MountainBoyMike's avatar

because they all seem to be having a hypocrisy contest and it truly is impossible to pick the eventual winner

Kay-El's avatar

Lol, poetic justice.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

The Kid also said the reason for the low birth rate in the US is that there are too many ugly women that nobody wants to boink.

No, really:

https://www.newsweek.com/kid-rock-low-birth-rate-ugly-liberal-women-2073193

cablecargal's avatar

Has Kid looked in a mirror recently? Who the hell would procreate with that thing?

shee-rah's avatar

He looks kind of old. Is he one of those “rockers with walkers”?

cablecargal's avatar

That cracked me up..."rockers with walkers." Pretty soon, all of my favs are going to be in that category.

Imagine Metallica coming out on stage, pushing walkers w/ yellow tennis balls.

shee-rah's avatar

The Stones for sure fit that category.

Ethereal Fairy's avatar

Ugly, liberal women at that, this from the kid no one would bonk if he didn’t have money.Take off that hat and he kooks like a “Ban” roll on-deodorant man dispenser.

Sköll's avatar

I haven't seen any MAGA women I would want to boink, to be fair.

Diana Hembree's avatar

Ugh, so much hate from one Kid...

Deborah Hunter's avatar

If getting prettier means I'd have to sleep with him, I'll stay ugly. Thank you.

longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

He's wrong. The state doesn't support children. We only had one because I knew, with a disabled husband, we couldn't support another blond blue eyed boy. If those people want more children (white??) they need to support families better. And anyway, he's 43 now and has dark blond hair...

Randy Woodall's avatar

That should be "too many ugly LIBERAL women". After all it IS Kid Rock.

Theresa Breach's avatar

Do as I say not do as I do

Bob Bowden's avatar

Why do the Dems need to help them avert a total and complete failure to pass any of their destructive agenda? Sounds like Chuck Schumer all over again

RandomHuman's avatar

Yeah dem's need a stronger reason for ppl who are disaffected w/ rump to change teams. So far alls they do is not vote (enuf to overcome the voter suppression).

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

All MAGATs are “do as i say, not as I do”

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

this is KARMA at her fucking finest, Jeff. You have to insert it somewhere, with photos. So those of us who forward on your pithy articles can have the magats who 'follow' (stalk) us see it plainly.

Doc Blase''s avatar

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

Scott Gilbert's avatar

Rick Santorum. The Congressman who was one of the Republicans who loved hanging out with Russian spy Marina Butina? And remember when he got caught on a live mic saying "Smart people don't vote for us." meaning that ONLY STUPID PEOPLE VOTE FOR REPUBLICANS.

Phil Burns's avatar

Finally a republican telling the truth.

T L Mills's avatar

Hallelujah! But I would never have guessed the truth teller would be Santorum!

Phil Burns's avatar

More than shocking...MAGA MUST BE AWESTRUCK(?)!!!

Bob Bowden's avatar

I just got nostalgic for the days when he was running for re-election, and PA cars sported

DUMPRICK bumper stickers

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Well, this actually happened (2012): "Rick Santorum (a U.S. Senator) and his wife brought the dead body of their prematurely born infant home from the hospital and introduced the dead child to their living children as "your brother Gabriel" and slept with the body overnight before returning it to the hospital."

https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/hbd4m/til_that_rick_santorum_a_us_senator_and_his_wife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Phil Burns's avatar

THAT'S FUCKING SICK!!!

Antoinette Powell's avatar

The Santorums experienced this loss in 1996. The papers had numerous articles about their “choice” to continue the pregnancy even though they were offered termination. They are both miserable hypocrites. The senator was hell-bent on eliminating that choice for other people.

Carthago Delenda Est's avatar

She (Karen) wanted to continue the pregnancy, even if it ended in her death. He opted for a termination. It was quite a thing when it happened.

I had a preemie (28 weeks) and we spent months in the NICU. I was so grateful for the level of care and caring we received that I spent the next 14 years working as a volunteer with the support group for the NICU, fundraising and doing outreach to other parents.

I saw some truly terrible things during that time. But nothing even remotely approaching the Santorums' behavior, which was just gross. We did a lot of memorials, because many preemies die, but what they did...

Tardigret's avatar

Yes, that is weird, but I've learned to not ever judge how anyone mourns

Doc Blase''s avatar

Well, you should, because that's insane.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Really? That goes against everything I've experienced working in hospital and releasing patients from the morgue to the funeral home. No one leaves the hospital dead to go home. They either go to a funeral home or crematorium. Even if the burial or ashes are to go out of state, they first have to go to a local funeral home. I live in NV. That includes fetal dismisses and premature infants. If this is true, how traumatic for their children to experience this.

Mary Ellen Spicuzza's avatar

What!? OK… now I have heard everything!

Dave Drell's avatar

Let’s have a sleep over kids! Invite your friends over for 1 night!

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Santorum is nearly as comprised as half the other GOP connards! He’s right about the vote, aside from the millionaires and billionaires who vote with their wallets Scott!!

Kristy Kanen's avatar

Hmmm, what do you call that frothy stuff that runs down legs ,post coitus ?

Oh, yeah SANTORUM.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Touché Kristy, you’re clearly on your game!!

David Skoglund's avatar

Kristy you are a naughty girl. You need a spanking!

Kristy Kanen's avatar

It's the Miss Olga Hungova in me 😉

Carthago Delenda Est's avatar

The very same Rick Santorum whose wife had a late term abortion over her objections because he did not want her to die in childbirth and leave him alone to take care of 6 (I think it was) children. She was prepared to die, if that's what it took, but that's not what Mr. Pro-Life wanted in his own personal circumstance.

Also, 'Santorum' became a code word for 'frothy fecal substance'. I can't remember how that occurred.

Kay-El's avatar

1. If Biden took a plane as a grift, the hearings would have been non-stop

2. Jimmy doesn’t know what jizz means? Someone make him a Sloe Gin Jizz.

3. Only God can rig an election for Pope.

Rick Calegari's avatar

Only someone like Comer and probably Trump would use jizz and coup in the same sentence. They speak like they act which would hopefully lead to a bill called the No Imbeciles In Congress Act. That right there could eliminate half of these dumb shit weasels in the GOP Congress. So, come again James?

Kay-El's avatar

I approve of that Act.

longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

I'm sure my congresswoman would vote for it.

Clint Opine's avatar

Or should that be a Sloe Jizz Fizz?

cablecargal's avatar

Ewwww...

"Hey Bartender, I'll have a Sloe Jizz Fizz." Bartender: "No problem, I'll be right back. Give me 3-5 minutes in the back; 'kay?"

Kay-El's avatar

I’ll accept that. :D

delyla54's avatar

I really, Really, REALLY wish someone in congress had the nerve to say to rfk jr. "what're you just trying to tell the world you really really hate your kids and grandkids?" You think THEY wanted to go swimming in filth?! That creature is a hateful moron!

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

He’s brain-damaged. It’s a requirement for this administration.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Worse, a brain damaged junkie.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Every family tree has its woodpecker. Caroline broke code and warned the world but RFK Jr. was just too crazy for Trump to pass up.

T L Mills's avatar

Well there was also the added attraction for Trump of getting a KENNEDY on his team. He just couldn't resist rubbing liberal noses in it. Not that RFK,Jr. was any kind of prize--the Dems have known for years that Bobby Brainworms had somehow permanently slid down a rabbit hole.

Doc Blase''s avatar

That branch of the family tree is a wreath.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I really wish the parents of these children would step up and do the right thing for their children and tell him no. Do you think I'd let my kids go with Grandpa Crazy if their grandfather did stuff like this? The family (or at least some of them) enables this stupidity.

David Simpson's avatar

"6947"

Hmmmm… 🤔 Laura Loomer just posted this to Instagram.

Phil Burns's avatar

With her lips she could take on all of Congress and still have room for Trump's cabinet...and the people in it too.

User's avatar
Comment deleted
May 17, 2025
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Bob Bowden's avatar

If she got her wish, that what he’d say - and that’s also what she’d say

SethTriggs's avatar

I wonder what Laura Loomer would be like if she had dignity.

It would be LESS embarrassing if she walked around wearing only a diaper stuffed with canned sardines.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Well, wait--would the sardines still be in the cans? Or will they have been once-canned and now removed from the cans? Details matter!

SethTriggs's avatar

If it's Loomer I'm sure they'd be uncanned to make herself even more obnoxious.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I'm sure Kennedy would lone her some floaters from the creek.

Zee Zee Writer's avatar

Seth, that is just…so…so…fucking hysterical!

Dave Drell's avatar

Actually like to see her with mouth shut up with blue painter tape.

Gina's avatar

that's an image - thanks (I think)

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I was drinking iced tea with my lunch and your comment almost made me spit it out all over my desk.

Zee Zee Writer's avatar

My guess, The only time that man goes down is in the polls.

Brenda McDonald's avatar

Laura Loomer can go first and I will go never. 🤮

Bob Bowden's avatar

Technically that’s impossible, because she’d be the only active participant (assuming she could even find it)

Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Stop!!!! It’s too funny!!!!

User's avatar
Comment deleted
May 17, 2025
Comment deleted
Sally Cruikshank's avatar

This week in stupid is like an all you can eat buffet.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

It's one of the reasons I decided to become a paying subscriber. (Can't afford to buy all the substacks, but this one is special.)

Ellen McKenzie's avatar

Completely made up of desserts!

spoonbridgecherry's avatar

So, uh, Stevie?

You're saying *again* that the election was rigged?

Just a reminder, friends:

• Donald Trump did not win the election.

• There was no assassination attempt.

• We outnumber them.

#RESIST

Celine's avatar

The conclave was rigged? Like 133 Cardinals of the Catholic Church from all over the planet give the tiniest shit what a few noisy, hateful, trump worshipping cultists in America think?

MAGA, the entire world doesn't hang on your every bitter, angry, spoiled, hateful, bigoted yowlings.

The US has about 4.2% of the world's population. Trump 2024 voters make up less than 1% of the world's population. On a global basis, MAGA is of no importance or interest at all, other than putting trump into office again, which is just proof that there is no point in going to them for advice on how to do the Lord's work.

Wendymae's avatar

I suspect that a more conservative may very well have won if FF hadn't started in on his crap that he should be the pope and all the pressure from RWNJ here to not have another Francis. I hope they skewered their own chances, but I'm a Jew, what do I know about it?

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I think Pope Francis used what power he had and helped elevate Pope Leo to power. This was no accident we got this particular new Pope. The world (except the dictators) can't stand Trump and what better way to influence the 1.2 billion Catholics in the world?

Laurie VanHauen's avatar

The once most respected nation in the world has been reduced to a literal game show. Desperate immigrants will be pitted against each other for the chance for citizenship. How desperate these people are to want to be here????

Will the lions be called in for the losers of this game show? I never thought I would be capable of hating anyone as much as I hate everyone in this administration.

Jan Moon's avatar

So typical of Trump. Another television shit show. I am beyond outraged at this for all the good it will do. The United States has been so cheapened and humiliated by this miscarriage of government that I can't even imagine what tomorrow will bring.

meryl selig's avatar

We are awash in horror and loathing… how can this go on for years? Due process? Going fast. Free speech? Not anymore? Did y’all read about DL freaking over Bruce Springsteen speaking his mind (brilliant) on stage in England?!?! Our Leader wants to imprison him or worse

Brenda McDonald's avatar

Any day now they’ll announce the start of the Hunger Games.

Gale Rozell's avatar

Since when did “86” mean anything other than the bartender just cut you off from further drinking in his establishment.? I would love to see Trump 86 from The Whitehouse. He is an absolute disgrace.

Zee Zee Writer's avatar

It also means “out of” or “sold out”. In the kitchen, “86 the chicken nuggets” means all sold out.

Rawrin_2go's avatar

“Sold out”- Particularly appropriate for Shitler.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I've heard it used before to get rid of something or someone. I think Comey knew exactly what he was saying. To get rid of Trump. He didn't say how so I hardly see a crime here. Kind of mind boggling that the ex top cop is playing with seashells at the beach and spells out messages. Kind of like being stranded on a desert island and making a help sign out of palm leaves.

J.R.'s avatar

Obviously, not one of these wing nuts ever worked in a restaurant. Thanks, Jeff, for continuing to make me laugh. 😂

SethTriggs's avatar

Grimy Wormtongue bathing in raw sewage had me floored. This man is barking at the moon mad and he's brought innocent children into it.

When one serves the unreconstructed, they have wide latitude to wild out like so many of these rightwing creeps are.

Dina's avatar

I usually don't watch some of the clips, I'll read the transcript instead because sometimes it's a voice I can really do without hearing. This time I HAD to watch the Comer clip, just to hear him say "jizz." The look on that other guy's face was *chef's kiss*.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Just couldn't listen. I was eating ice cream.

Mary Beth Horsington's avatar

OMG I just about peed myself laughing over the doctor in the back seat doling out abortions.

Lamorindalinda's avatar

“Mother’s Day hike in Dumbarton Oaks Park with Amaryllis, Bobby, Kick, and Jackson, and a swim with my grandchildren, Bobcat and Cassius in Rock Creek.”

Wait, are these names of people? Who names their kids Amaryllis, Kick or Bobcat?

Dave Drell's avatar

Bobcat Goldthwait- theres one!

Star of Shakes the Clown- the greatest drunk Clown movie of all time! also with Florence Henderson

Norma's avatar

For one Biden wouldn’t have accepted that f-ing plane. And James Comey helped create the monster that he now wants 86ed?Fucking hell! What a dumbass. He of all people should have known better! A VERY stupid week indeed! Thanks Jeff.