this week in stupid: March 21 edition

Bobby Brainworms slams it, Micropenis Mark crams it, and so much more...

Mar 21, 2026

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: welcome to twinkiemania ’26

oh look, the overgrown adolescent boys who govern over us are up to their emotionally-stunted antics again. look at the infantile drek that The Marvelous Mr. Measles posted to Elon’s Nazi Bar and Child Porn Emporium.

what in the ever-loving fuck? what we have here is thirty-three seconds of an AI-generated impossibly-jacked Bobby Brainworms Jr. whaling the tar out of an equally-AI-generated twinkie.

I shit you not.

now look — I grant you, that’s a big twinkie.

but at the end of the day, it’s just a tube of cream-filled dough. I’m pretty sure most of us would be able to body-slam that shit in a hot second.

but seriously, why are government resources being wasted on dumbfuckery like this? shitwits like Bobby Brainworms and the morons at Homeland Security (more on those ass-clowns below) apparently have nothing better to do with their time than churn out puerile memes. why does everyone in Donny’s administration seem to be under the impression that their main job is to win the internet?

let’s turn to Bobby Brainworms’ uncle, for I believe he said it best:

tuesday: erin go fuck yourself

who among us hasn’t been in the midst of celebrating St. Patrick’s Day and thought, ‘you know what would make this awesome day even better? fascism.’

come on, can’t the hatemongers at DHS give racism a well-earned day off? again with the juvenile memes — and I’m at a loss to comprehend exactly what’s supposed to be going on here. is that meant to be teargas, thematically green in honor of Saint Pat? if so, why the fuck are the ICE goons standing in front of it? wait, it is farts? has ICE supposedly drunk so much green beer that they’re now farting in technicolor?

I wonder if the fucksticks at Homeland Security even realize that if ICE had been around a hundred and fifty years ago, it would have been the Irish they’d have been rounding up and disappearing into foreign slave-labor gulags — because for a while there back in the day, the Irish were one of the most-hated ethnic groups in America.

oh wait — that shit is still going on today.

awesome job, ICE. you can stop farting and pat yourselves on the back.

now let’s thank our lucky stars that we have tireless internet sleuths like not-twitter user Warren here, who managed to de-blur DHS’s artwork and identify the ICE thugs.

why am I not surprised?

wednesday: and you may ask yourself, how did I get here?

tell me, is it a bad thing when every goddamned nitwit in our government is bugfuck nuts?

Far-right activist turned high-ranking FEMA official Gregg Phillips has a problem. Sometimes he finds himself “teleporting” into ditches, or even into a Waffle House.
Phillips described “teleporting” to a Waffle House 50 miles away. “I was with my boys one time and I was telling them I was gonna go to Waffle House and get Waffle House,” he said. “And I ended up at a Waffle House — this was in Georgia and I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was.”

where the fuck does the Donnyverse even find these people? if they’re not beating the shit out of twinkies or doing a holiday-themed racism, they’re magically teleporting to the enchanted land of Wafflehouseia.

dude, it’s not ‘teleportation.’ it’s called ‘blacking out and waking up in some fast food joint.’ we’ve all been there. maybe ease up on the joy juice, eh?

thursday: let them fight

I don’t even know what the fuck this is about. all I know is that I’m totally here for some of that sweet, sweet MAGA-on-MAGA violence.

it all started when wingnut found-object Mark Levin decided out of the clear blue to shit-talk Megyn ‘Fear of a Black Santa’ Kelly.

that’s when Kelly decided that the most mature and rational way to respond was to let the world know that Levin suffers from The Heartbreak of Micropenis™.

and with that, it was on!

that’s when Some Fucking Idiot™ got involved, sticking up for Micropenis Mark in a batshit rant on his crappy app. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION, ETC ETC.

Megyn Kelly went ballistic after this, yelling at Micropenis Mark for running to Dear Leader to tattle on Megyn.

and that’s when Lady Space Laser got involved, picking up the Micropenis Mark moniker and running with it.

once again, I haven’t a clue why this is happening, or how it’s going to end — hey, just like the war in Iran! — all I know is I’m grateful that microwave popcorn isn’t shipped through the Strait of Hormuz, or we’d be in grave danger of running out.

friday: the further adventures of Some Fucking Idiot™

on Friday, some fucking idiot came out with an all-new assessment of his unprovoked, unnecessary and illegal war on Iran, and it went something like this: ‘I’m almost finished winning the war I said I’d already won, and any country that needs access to the Strait of Hormuz can go fuck themselves, it’s not my problem.’

got that? the fucking idiot maybe have blundered into shutting down the Strait, but getting it back open is no longer his problem. so long, suckers!

the fucking idiot then held an Oval Bordello dog-and-pony show, ostensibly to award the ‘Commander-in-Chief’s trophy’ to US Navy. the fucking idiot was an incoherent mess, promising at one point promising to sign an executive order that nobody gets to play a football game unless he says so.

the fucking idiot once again managed to make an occasion all about himself, whining because someone else got to be on TV.

the fucking idiot took time out of his busy schedule to commit a transphobia.

then, when the ceremony was over, the fucking idiot shambled away, apparently keeping the trophy for himself.

later, on his way to spend a four-day weekend cheating at golf down at Motel-a-Lago, the fucking idiot stopped to blither in the general direction the assembled press, and managed to spew three batshit whoppers in the span of 87 seconds.

finally, the fucking idiot hallucinated an imaginary poll giving him a 100% approval rating.

and despite all that dumbfuckery going on right in front of their noses, not one reporter stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.