this week in stupid: March 2 edition
racists melt down, homophobes go to town, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: fear of a black founder
the rollout of Google’s own AI, Gemini, was by all accounts, a total fucking disaster. badly programmed and hastily cobbled together, the AI routinely spat out images of black Nazis and woman popes.
whereas most people either went “oh, how interesting” or “oh, how dumb” and got on with their lives, the world’s most tiresome assholes started whining about woke — like this was all some massive commie conspiracy to trick them into looking at pictures of black people.
oh my god, call the whaaaaaaambulance.
America’s preeminent fishwrap, the New York Post, howled with outrage.
the Space Nazi blew a gasket, because of course he did.
“The woke mind virus is killing Western Civilization. Google does the same thing with their search results. Facebook & Instagram too. And Wikipedia.”
lighten up, Francis.
hey, don’t nobody tell the Space Nazi that his own crappy AI, Grok, says he’s a pedophile.
monday: hero? more like zero
Individual-1 Senior has a tell — a verbal clue that what he’s about to say is the stinkiest load of horse shit ever. it’s the “sir story.”
the sir stories all follow the same template — there’s always a big strong man, usually with tears of gratitude in his eyes, coming up to Trump and saying “sir! sir! thank you so much for…” — and it’s always a big steaming pile of never fucking happened.
well, as someone once said of Number One Failson Individual-1 Junior, the douche doesn’t fall far from the bag.
that’s right, the man who Robert Mueller called “too dumb to crime” has now started telling his own “sir stories” — and they’re just as credible as daddy’s. listen to this coked-to-the-gills dipshit spin lies at warp factor 9, while his heart struggles mightily not to explode.
“now more than ever, the amount of African-American men that have come up to me and are literally like, ‘hey man, you’re my hero!’”
oh please. if anyone out there actually believes that Sniffles McHooverline is the hero of even one black person, I have six bankrupt casinos in Atlantic City to sell you.
tuesday: new Biden scandal drops
Fox News found object Jesse Watters has a bone to pick with Joe Biden.
“a grown man — especially the president — should not be licking ice cream in public.”
yeah, Sleepy Brandon, what the fuck is wrong with you? a president has to project strength. a president has to project virility. a president to be the exemplar of peak alpha masculinity.
he can’t be gallivanting about in public, eagerly licking away at an ice cream cone, like he was some kind of … well, you know — one of those people.
a president can’t be seen shoving things into his mouth. he has to be … oh shit.
never mind.
wednesday: I can’t even
holy shit, check out the MAGA bro in this video by youtuber Luke Beasley.
Luke Beasley: “would you support somebody if they called for the termination of the constitution?”
MAGA: “no.”
Luke Beasley: “can I show you something?” [shows MAGA a Truth Social post of Trump calling for exactly that.]
MAGA: “that’s fake news.”
nooo. this idiot. he’s being shown Trump’s own words on his own crappy app and he refuses to believe his own lying eyes.
what do you do with someone like this? how do you bring them back to reality? you can’t. they’re lost. they’re gone forever.
thanks, Fox News.
thursday: fear of a gay staircase
imagine you’re out on the town, just enjoying the day, and you come face to face with a set of stairs painted in pride colors.
again, if you’re a normal human being, you might say “oh, that’s nice” and get on with your life.
but if you’re like Joe Homophobe here, you’ll … well, just watch the video.
what the fuck is he so terrified of? that he’s going to come down with a bad case of gayness from touching paint?
friday: Donny Two-Scoops melts down
on Friday, Individual-1 was down in Miami to watch Number One Trump Fangirl Aileen Cannon in person as she did her best to help her hero escape justice in the Big Stolen Document Fuckery Trial.
the Man Who Convicts War Criminals in The Hague was there, too — and this happened:
“As the hearing broke for lunch, Trump briefly appeared miffed when security escorted Jack Smith out of the courtroom before him, forcing him to wait for their exit.”
oh boo fucking hoo, Donny. you got treated like an ordinary citizen for a change. grow the fuck up.
gosh, it’s hard to believe that the ketchup-hurling, NATO-leader-shoving man-baby who throws a tantrum when he doesn’t get the most ice cream would be so petty.
christ, what an asshole.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
Nice wrap up with new, never before printed verbiage-“whaaaaambulance,” “fish wrap,” “sniffles McHooverline,” hahaha….I love Jack Smith was escorted out before trump-useless garbage. “lighten up Frances”…..hahaha…..Great way (well, kinda) to end the weekend…with your “week in stupid!” Thanks Jeff!
I sure hope the guy who used the railing to climb those gay stairs had his gonads crushed. It would ensure fewer idiots being born from this guy’s sperm.
Thank you Jeff for showing us yet again, the idiocy of magats.