this week in stupid: March 17 edition
Ben Stein goes on a racist rant, MTG loses a battle of wits with a bag of dirt, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America. let’s look back at some of the highlights.
monday: Fox News literally does a softball interview with Ron DeSantis
Fox News is desperately trying to make Ron DeSantis happen. (note to Fox News: Ron DeSantis is never going to happen. I’ll be writing more about that next week.)
I’m not sure what the fuck Ron was trying to prove here. maybe he was just showing off a new human skin suit that allows his lizard body to raise its arms above its shoulders.
whatever the intent, the end result was two dorks in identical thousand-dollar suits having an awkward game of catch.
so relatable!
tuesday: it’s a twofer!
one: I’d never heard of Minnesota Republican State Sen. Steve Drazkowski before today, but evidently he’s a twentyfourseven perpetual motion dipshittery factory.
two: if you’re ever asked to go on live television, at the very least have your definition of “woke” worked out in advance.
wednesday: Marjorie Three Toes plays “are you dumber than a bag of dirt” and loses
long story short: border agents found a bag at the border. they opened the bag. it was full of dirt. end of story, right?
WRONG.
Marjorie Taylor Greene, synapes struggling mightily to connect with one another, dove head-first into the situation and refused to take “it’s a fucking bag of dirt, Marge” for an answer.
Congresswoman Sporkfoot remains stubbornly convinced that the bag of dirt is actually an “explosive device” left by “the cartels,” and so she spent the day arguing with the chief of the border patrol. it was a story so stupid that even Fox News had to debunk it.
thursday: win Ben Stein’s racism
it takes a special kind of stupid to look at Scott Adams’s unforced career self-immolation and think “I want some of that.” but beloved old codger out-of-touch racist Ben Stein went and did it.
nobody asked Ben Stein to open his racist mouth. yet open it he did, and out came a twenty-megaton racist rant.
basically Old Benny told black people to stop complaining and be grateful for what benevolent white folks like him are allowing them to have.
“If I woke up as a Black person I would think, I have every opportunity to go to a really good school. I have every opportunity to live in a really good neighborhood. I have every opportunity to get a really good job. The whole system is now set up so I, as a Black American, can have every chance at a good life.”
it’s as if you asked ChatGPT to give you an example of what clueless white privilege sounds like.
friday: ?
hey, it’s only ten o’clock in the morning as I sit here and write this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dispshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a great weekend, everyone.
this was a fun one to write, and if the reader reaction is positive enough, I'll make it a regular Friday thing
Jeff, your blog rants are THE BEST!!!
Informative, caustic, comprehensive-yet-concise, madly irreverent and completely fabulous!
Thank you!!!