in case you didn't see my follow-up comment under yesterday's post: the reason for my absence was that I had to be in traffic court at 9am, where I unsuccessfully tried to talk my way out of a moving violation. so now you know.
I was speeding, got pulled over, and my girlfriend said “just follow my lead”… cop comes to my door and she starts acting like she’s going to puke. Tells the officer she’s really sick and about to heave. That’s why I was driving so fast…to get her home. And by god, it worked. 😂😂
That’s awesome. I got stopped after 11pm on the LIE and the officer asked me the usual what’s the hurry. I said perhaps I should choose different music I’m listening to Rage Against the Machine to make sure I stay awake. He choked on a laugh. Stepped away and checked my license then told me to slow down. 🤣
Got pulled over for burned out tail light, officer was writing fix it ticket, suddenly alarm rang in his car, he drove awaylike a bat outta hell, "gotta go". Bank robbery 6 blocks away.
I got pulled over for not having a current registration sticker on the back license plate. My older son was only a few weeks old and in the car with me. I told the officer I was pretty sure I’d brought it out to the car but hadn’t gotten around to attaching it. When I found it, the officer put it on himself and told me he knew how exhausting babies can be. It was quite sweet.
I had that happen once, except I had no baby. I was just forgetful - had tossed it into the glove box to wait for a non-rainy day and there it sat for months!
One time I was driving through my own neighborhood and apparently didn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign. Here comes a cop out of nowhere, beeping his beepy thing at me. As I pulled over and the cop was approaching my car, my son’s girlfriend, who was in the car with me, quietly urged me to “start crying! start crying!” That made me laugh out loud, which wasn’t a good look when a cop has just pulled you over. 😄
Hahaha. In 1998 I got pulled over. It was aftercwork and I was speeding, to get to the library and avoid a fine. But I told the officer I was holding back diarrhea. He put his siren on and told me to follow him. He was going 70 in a 55 miles per hour zone, near Boston. He walked me to the door and said : "Good luck". I was so worried that he was going to ask for confirmation! I have not thought about that episode in 27 years, until your story reminded me....I sure needed the laughter. Now I have a real belly ache. ( Needless to say I did not return the books on time and had to pay the fine. It was lot cheaper than what the speeding ticket would have cost me!)
In the early '70s, I made a "California stop" (aka a slow roll through a stop sign) with a cop right behind me. When he pulled me over and asked me why I didn't stop I explained that I was late getting to the V.D. Clinic (I was a volunteer there, but 'forgot' to mention that part - my bad!) He said, "Well, I won't delay you further, just be careful". Whew! Dodged that bullet! LOL! YAY for sexually transmitted diseases!
That is awesome!’ I live in Massachusetts. It was a Sunday late afternoon and I was pulled over for speeding. I looked at the clock on the dash. Officer asked if I had any idea how fast I was going. I said, “No sir.” He told me and asked why I was speeding. I apologized and said I was rushing to get home to watch the Patriots game. He laughed and said, “Ok.” <laughed again> and told me to “drive safely”. The lie was: I am not a fan of football. Ask my friends. But hey! You have to give me credit for the quick thinking on my part. Ha!
I have a Fiat Spyder [no tears please, it runs sometimes] and it was a beautiful sunny day. I was tooling along with the top down, running through the gears--it's a manual, came foff the freeway, onto the road to my office, stopped at the light. Motorcycle cop pulls up beside me.
Yes, Officer? You were going a little fast back there. [That thing can hit 95--not that I was]. But it's such a nice day that I'm not going to ticket you. Take care and slow down.
Zips off.
Or the time we were on the 5, heading north. Late at night, no one around. Signs everywhere PATROLLED BY RADAR. Oh, as if.
Sure enough, we hear the whap whap whap of a helo. Spotlight And then the Voice of God. You there in the blue car S-L-O-W-D-O-W-N. So we did. Had to be doing 90 or so.
'Cuz in MAGA America, a moving violation cannot be talked out of, but you can get released from prison for trying to overthrow the gubmint (while defiling "the People's House.")
Happened to my husband too, last year. He was going 37 in a 25mph zone and drove right past the sheriff’s dept. Well, a sheriff was sitting in one of those cars and nailed him. $300 fine and had to take an online traffic ticket course which cost an additional $25!
Rudy G. was unavailable as your counsel? You couldn't afford his fee? He doesn't take cheques? Perhaps your argument was immaterial, incontinent, incomprehensible? Did you wear a proper suit?
Don't you just hate when that car flashes the lights behind you? Once I cut one off on the highway in CA. and he turned those "stupid" lights on! Take a deep breath: at least you are not part of the WH press corps. Did you tell them how famous and well loved you are? Maybe that could have helped!!
I looked in the rearview mirror right as I was running a red light; saw a cop right behind me. So, I pulled over right away. When the cop asked me why I pulled over, I said, "Didn't you see me? I just ran a red light back there." I ended up getting a warning instead of a ticket.
Don't you worry! I once gave my finger to a cop . He was in an unmarked car with a perp in the back. He kept flicking his lights ,then put on his siren..thing was ..I couldn't go over..no room..I gave him the finger.finally got to the side..he told me he will give me a ticket for " not yielding"..I asked him are you sure it wasn't my gesture..he says.." there is no statute for that..Cost me over $ 200. I didn't care. Finger gesture was good. BASTARD
I got nailed for making a left turn through a red arrow. In my defense, it was burnt out. The cops were right behind me. Pulled me over, wrote everything down, only wrote down the license number of the car I was driving incorrectly. And it was a rental.
So I figured they'd never find me. I paid the fine, though, just in case. Never did the traffic school thing. Because there was no way to connect my DL to the license plate of the car--which didn't exist.
They’re also saying that they can’t possibly meet their needs without social security and Medicare money. Cutting Medicaid, Medicare and social security will result in deaths. I’m just not summoning humor today and that almost never happens. But Beeface and Sporkfoot worked its magic for me!
Yes,Paul! Putin's Manchurian candidate showed his true colors yesterday.The Emperor now has no clothes. It would only take a few Republicans with a spine to impeach Trump now, before he destroys our democracy!
The obscene display in the Oval Office was appalling- we are a shitty country. Thuggery and intimidation… we are a joke in the world. Fuck these people-I will not be learning to speak Russian.
What a complete shit show that was. I saw a clip of Zelensky TRYING to explain to our unqualified diplomats that cosplay as the Pres and VP that Putin had reneged 25 times in their ceasefire agreements in the past and can't be trusted. Trump also is on video saying that he got mad at Zelensky because he said "negative things" about Putin. Trump is definitely Krasnov.
I wake up every morning and the first thing I see is my 3ft X 4 ft Canadian flag on my bedroom wall. It puts me in a good mood. I've never been to Canada in my life.
Had yesterday not been the economic boycott day, I was going to order a Ukranian flag to fly. As it was, I just started regular donations to United 24 which, by the way, is now offering t-shirts saying, "I'll wear the costume when this war is over."
I love the mix in translation… French call a man’s suit a costume. Sorta funny that word… we American use costume as dress up… British say bathing costume rather than bathing suit. 🩱
Back when the "Dress for Success" books were big, as I recall the authors pointed out that suits were a costume for the role you were playing in the business world. It was a signal that you knew the rules.
100% suits are not for work, like actual work, they are for meetings. They are meant to imply the level of power over others that you have. Blue is power, tan is casual, brown is subservient, black is mournful or edgy but not as powerful as blue. The red tie or women's blouse says don't fuck with me today, etc. i loved when Obama wore a tan suit and the beltway was apoplectic. Biz casual pants and sweaters are for actual work. Fatigues are for war. War chiefs wear fatigues. What a moron. Why aren't you wearing a suit. Z could have said, I am the commender in chief of the Ukrainian military and I am wearing my military fatigues.
I flew my pirate flag yesterday. It was No Shopping Day plus the shit in the oval. I fly it whenever something bad happens. Looks like that flag will be in tatters before long.
We live in a mafiosi country Susan, it hasn’t happened overnight. Unfortunately the willfully ignorant are still hoping for the $5K check to appear in their mailbox!!
What’s horrifying is that even if putin gets mad at his WH assets, the next in line is maga mike. Can you imagine him telling Zelenskyy to pray with him and putin will…I don’t know, not slaughter him? BTW, I loved how when trump accused him of starting WW3 Zelenskyy said he’d already heard putin’s talking point. That he handled what was thrown at him so well in his 3rd or 4th language was just amazing.
Yes 🙌 incredible… the close-ups of his face while trying to follow the crazy man’s logic are priceless !!! Zelenskyy is brilliant and after seeing the AI of his ko to tfg, im even more impressed with Zelenskyy keeping his calm 😌 He definitely could have knocked tfg out !
Tfg is not even aware of the man’s fighting skills and ability to defend himself and his country ! Hats off to the man who is a real leader !
I didn't see turd or Vance walk Zelensky out to his car afterward. Heard Zelensky & team were taken from Oval to different room, then told mtg was over and Z could leave. No words. 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
When Zelensky was getting ambushed by drumph and couch fucker I wished Zelensky would have used his interpreter. That might have helped him get his point across and possibly slow down the Russian talking points assault by the orange mango and couch fucker McGee.
Colloquialisms are not easy to follow in another language to be sure. He was like, " we are not playing cards" and did look a little unsure how else to respond. These people are the most ungracious fuckers in history. So little, so stupid, so careless but they did their job apply because Russian state media was all 'surprised' and happy.
Nice, disturbing, very stupid week-nazis, fake religion, fake money, fake chin rub, and lastly-fake fucking president and vp of the US. Poor Zelenskyy-so glad he stood up the those idiots. Rubio looked sick to his stomach the whole time. The “press” included sporky’s bf and TASS—-not AP or Reuters…gimme a break! Time for a glass of wine yet??????
Paula White is King Shitpants in a dress. Don Jr is a junkie. Gin blossom Glen is a drunk. Shitpants was just doing what any malignant narcissistic psychopath would do. And it looked like JD was about to get on his knees and unzip daddy's pants. Another day in American politics.
Since addiction runs in drumph’s family how does the family not see that Cokey McSniffles (Don,Jr.), is a junkie? JD is a POS trying to impress his Fuhrer as he is trying to get out from behind the shadow of the muskrat-in-chief…
That was the initial Wonkette reaction to him as a Senate candidate ("unlikeable pile of human butthair") which has become a standard way of refering to him since he was tapped for VP.
They have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves. Having Shitpants for a father would put anyone in trauma therapy. I could write a book about that. Thank goodness for therapy.
For another ugly scene, check out the recent Meidas Touch episode that showed an interview with one of the Tate brothers, who are charged with child rape and sex trafficking, about how he beats young women and girls into submission ("break their cheekbones") and then assaults them. It was one of the chilling cuts I've ever seen. I am glad I oppose the death penalty with no exceptions, because otherwise I'd want to make one. These are the Brits that Trump wrangled away from Romania, which was trying to convict them, and brought to Florida.
Thank you for expressing that thought out loud--I felt the same way. This will be another shameful period in our country for which we will eventually have to answer, just as we need to finally admit that slavery was wrong and has warped our national conscience ever since.
Secretary of Bullshit Rubio looked like his nose hairs were on fire as his movements indicated that Sir Shitsalot blew a major load. Besides the delusional loyalty to a 300 lb. demented carcass, you have to wonder if any of these devoted sycophants will ever see the light or does fuckface have too much on them? In the meantime, it's 5:00 somewhere Tess.
Putin knows rather well of Trumps criminal history with mob syndicates, Russian as well. Since they purchased all of Trumps debt and now control Trump Corporation Tess…quid pro quo and loyalty is demanded!!
Rubio increasingly resembles an overbaked potato: shriveled up inside his jackets. I sincerely hope he's caught syphilis from bending over and taking it rough from JD Vance and TFG.
Did anyone else catch hillbilly couchfuck mcgee’s slip-up? “Russia invaded Ukraine…” Oops! But, the best line of the whole clownish ambush fiasco? President Zelenskyy to beeface, “After this war is over, I will wear costume… maybe like yours? maybe cheaper, maybe better.”
I get it Neal. Observing reality, as it actually is, can be stress reducing.
1. On Feb 19, 2025 the President of the United States of America declared his personal allegiance to Vladimir Putin, the murderous dictator of Russia.
2. On Feb 24 the United States of America voted in the United Nations on the side of Russia and North Korea and against Europe and Ukraine.
3. On Feb 26 the new Cabinet met in the White House. Elon Musk led the meeting and publicly confirmed his control over the President and the Executive Branch.
4. On Feb 28 the President and Vice President revealed their abject fear of offending Vladimir Putin. Their fear was witnessed by the entire world, with future generations to wonder why. A strange show of weakness of the leaders of the greatest nation on Earth, cowtowing to one of the weakest nations.
5. As of today, 2.2 million federal employees now report to Elon Musk on a weekly basis, bypassing their supervisors, and beg Elon's DOG-E (pronounced Doggie) to not fire them.
6. Elon Musk exerts control over the GOP members of the Senate and House. So he now controls two of the three branches of the government.Judiciary is next.
The whole thing was so beyond the pale it was surreal, the disgusting lack of decorum never seen before in this kind of situation. It was like watching some movie or TV show; I felt violated for Z. This is stuff that should be behind closed doors, however Orange and JD wouldn't have the balls to do that in private. The MTG-humping asshole blurting that out was just as crazy, hearing the laughter and seeing smirk on JD's face. Marco shrinking in his seat. It was an orchestrated pile-on session by these fucks.
Rubio was right about one thing, if Trump had been in office the war would never had gone on because Trump would have handed Ukraine to Putin on a silver platter. What a sorry excuse for a SOS and he seemed to be one of the better choices Trump made. One month in and he should have resigned instead of supporting that shit show.
No brains and no balls is Marquito. But all the ‘Buelas in Miami think he’s just So cute and elected him to the Senate. Where he impressed No One in his years taking up space there. Now he has been Peter Principled way above his competence level by the orange shit stain. But being a grocery clerk would have done that equally as well.
I’m just happy thinking about the reception he will receive his next trip to Europe. Stupid little man.
With friends like us who needs enemas? And let's be honest, Zellenskyy has made it a point to thank the U.S. on multiple occasions. Honestly, if so many lives weren't at stake the guy would be well within his rights to cold-cock Orange Jabba and his Hillbilly Messenger Boy (arcane Godfather II reference). Best part of yesterday's shitshow was designated GOP Butt-boy, Lady Lindsay, saying she has never been more proud of President Bone Spurs. It's clear that his ethics, like his closet, has a revolving door. Boy, Reverend Ike woulda made-out like a bandit with this administration. Hey, did anyone ever find out if the gold was still at Ft. Knox? Our did Auric Goldtoilet irradiate the entire facility?
That’s also what I wished former DC cop Michael Fanone had done last weekend, when ‘Proud Boy’ Enrique Tarrio screamed obscenities at him, trying to goad him into giving that pardoned seditious conspirator POS the ass-kicking he's just begging for. But that’s how men of actual character and strength react to wienie-ass provocation: They refuse to take the bait.
“Every dog has its day”…drumph, Vance, tarrio, all of the retrumplican ass kissers and sycophants will have their day in the shithole of fuckery soon enough.
Yes I saw pictures she’s a miscreant in every way. Facial proportions also, example eyes should be mid way from top of head to bottom of chin. But not with Neanderthal yes I bought that rap right away.
I wonder if Zelinskyy knew he was going to be on a live “The Apprentice” show. Surely, his background in television prepared him for the onslaught and it did. He never lost his cool. He never sunk to their idiocy level. He’s not a goniff like Shitstain or Couchfuck. He is my HERO!
Someone needs to let MAGAts know that in 1942 Winston Churchill wore his air-raid suit to the White House during WWII. I think he would have been proud of Zelensky. This country is really going down hill cuz of the orange buffoon. Just one month in and he has destroyed our working gov't, about to wreck our economy and has all our allies pissed off at us.
I hope if Zelensky ever returns to the White House, he's wearing a tan suit like the one Obama had on that time he destroyed the dignity of the presidency.
Yesterday's shit show is what happens when the necessary prep work isn't done before a summit. Yes, summits are boring. They are supposed to be boring. Before the principles meet, the agenda is set, the i's are dotted, and the t's are crossed at the ministerial, cabinet level. All that is left is signing and the press spray. But that is way too much work and takes way too much time for the guy who thinks he can solve all the world's problems in a day. "Repeal and replace Obamacare on day one." "Have a splashy meeting with Kim Jung Un and get North Korea to give up their nukes." "End the war in Ukraine on day one." If problems were that easy to solve, they'd have been solved. Diplomacy takes work. And speaking of diplomacy and getting things done at the ministerial level, having the country's top diplomat slouched in his chair hoping that no one will see him, does not inspire confidence in the process.
Vance screaming that Zelensky never says "thank you" enough and President Pig Dick fart-babbling beside him belongs in the same gallery as Krushchev banging on his desk at the UN with his shoe like the peasant he was, demanding attention. There's no such thing as Russian diplomacy, folks. And now, American diplomacy is a cheap bar fight.
Hi Jeff, I know you cannot cover everything in your weekly roundup however you missed this story. It seems the former Fox weekend host now the minister of defense, Hegseth has given orders to US Cyber Command to stand down on all planning against Russia… why? This is an intentional fuck up of major proportions… not to mention what our former allies are thinking. Tend to doubt our former allies will share any information with us now…⚠️⚠️⚠️ it’s just a matter of time until a drastic attack happens against our country.
Hegseth also threatened unilateral action against Mexico yesterday. Guess that one goes on his 5-item What Did You Accomplish This Week report to Musk.
in case you didn't see my follow-up comment under yesterday's post: the reason for my absence was that I had to be in traffic court at 9am, where I unsuccessfully tried to talk my way out of a moving violation. so now you know.
I was speeding, got pulled over, and my girlfriend said “just follow my lead”… cop comes to my door and she starts acting like she’s going to puke. Tells the officer she’s really sick and about to heave. That’s why I was driving so fast…to get her home. And by god, it worked. 😂😂
That’s awesome. I got stopped after 11pm on the LIE and the officer asked me the usual what’s the hurry. I said perhaps I should choose different music I’m listening to Rage Against the Machine to make sure I stay awake. He choked on a laugh. Stepped away and checked my license then told me to slow down. 🤣
Got pulled over for burned out tail light, officer was writing fix it ticket, suddenly alarm rang in his car, he drove awaylike a bat outta hell, "gotta go". Bank robbery 6 blocks away.
Holy Crap! Lucky for you! 🤣
Ooohhh… that’s a smart one Jodi! 👏👏👏
Pretty face, rule nearly always works, often accompanied by tears Jodi!!
If you can.make the officer laugh 9 times out of 10 they will let you go , least it works for fluffy anyway
I was stopped and told the cop I was in labor and heading for the hospital. He said no problem, he'd always wanted to deliver a baby - he'd wait. . .
Might have worked if I'd been pregnant. . .
I will totally try that one... I'm 75! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well, if humor keeps you young, I'm sure you still LOOK as if it might be true!
Made for a big smile Lady!!
🤣😂💙✌🏻
🤣🤣
😂😂
😂😂😂
Lady, nice effort tho!
Same as everyone else on this thread 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!
I threw hot soup in my lap once when I got pulled over. It worked. I've had so many tickets. I could have used them for wallpaper.
Leadfoot Lisa has a nice ring to it eh?
😂
I got pulled over for not having a current registration sticker on the back license plate. My older son was only a few weeks old and in the car with me. I told the officer I was pretty sure I’d brought it out to the car but hadn’t gotten around to attaching it. When I found it, the officer put it on himself and told me he knew how exhausting babies can be. It was quite sweet.
I had that happen once, except I had no baby. I was just forgetful - had tossed it into the glove box to wait for a non-rainy day and there it sat for months!
I can’t even imagine the aroma when you finally got that baby out of the glove box after a month. I hope everyone was ok.
😆😅🤣😂🤢
And you thought Trump smelled bad! LOL!
LOL
Very cool! 👏👏👏
HA! Good one! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I’m gonna have to keep fake barf in my car from now on!
😂😂😂
One time I was driving through my own neighborhood and apparently didn’t come to a complete stop at a stop sign. Here comes a cop out of nowhere, beeping his beepy thing at me. As I pulled over and the cop was approaching my car, my son’s girlfriend, who was in the car with me, quietly urged me to “start crying! start crying!” That made me laugh out loud, which wasn’t a good look when a cop has just pulled you over. 😄
Hahaha. In 1998 I got pulled over. It was aftercwork and I was speeding, to get to the library and avoid a fine. But I told the officer I was holding back diarrhea. He put his siren on and told me to follow him. He was going 70 in a 55 miles per hour zone, near Boston. He walked me to the door and said : "Good luck". I was so worried that he was going to ask for confirmation! I have not thought about that episode in 27 years, until your story reminded me....I sure needed the laughter. Now I have a real belly ache. ( Needless to say I did not return the books on time and had to pay the fine. It was lot cheaper than what the speeding ticket would have cost me!)
OMG! That’s an amazing story! 😂. Later my pal said: you know I’m a good friend if I was willing to stick my finger down my throat for you! 🤣🤣
In the early '70s, I made a "California stop" (aka a slow roll through a stop sign) with a cop right behind me. When he pulled me over and asked me why I didn't stop I explained that I was late getting to the V.D. Clinic (I was a volunteer there, but 'forgot' to mention that part - my bad!) He said, "Well, I won't delay you further, just be careful". Whew! Dodged that bullet! LOL! YAY for sexually transmitted diseases!
😂😂😂👏👏👏
Note to f’n SELF, Susan…🤘
That is awesome!’ I live in Massachusetts. It was a Sunday late afternoon and I was pulled over for speeding. I looked at the clock on the dash. Officer asked if I had any idea how fast I was going. I said, “No sir.” He told me and asked why I was speeding. I apologized and said I was rushing to get home to watch the Patriots game. He laughed and said, “Ok.” <laughed again> and told me to “drive safely”. The lie was: I am not a fan of football. Ask my friends. But hey! You have to give me credit for the quick thinking on my part. Ha!
That’s a great story! I’ll remember that!!😂😂
I have a Fiat Spyder [no tears please, it runs sometimes] and it was a beautiful sunny day. I was tooling along with the top down, running through the gears--it's a manual, came foff the freeway, onto the road to my office, stopped at the light. Motorcycle cop pulls up beside me.
Yes, Officer? You were going a little fast back there. [That thing can hit 95--not that I was]. But it's such a nice day that I'm not going to ticket you. Take care and slow down.
Zips off.
Or the time we were on the 5, heading north. Late at night, no one around. Signs everywhere PATROLLED BY RADAR. Oh, as if.
Sure enough, we hear the whap whap whap of a helo. Spotlight And then the Voice of God. You there in the blue car S-L-O-W-D-O-W-N. So we did. Had to be doing 90 or so.
Lucky you Susan, he likely loves a pretty face, as many cops do!!
Clever, indeed.😆😆
Nice play! But if you were Driving While Black, you'd have gotten tasered.
You’re right. Especially is fucking Missouri 😟
OMG Susan 🤣🤣
Good to know.
'Cuz in MAGA America, a moving violation cannot be talked out of, but you can get released from prison for trying to overthrow the gubmint (while defiling "the People's House.")
That deserves a standing applause!!
The irony of it is nauseating !
You should have used the Trump Defense and claim it was either a witch hunt or a perfect moving violation.
…’like no one has ever seen’.
ROTFLMAO
Gosh Jeff…thanks for letting us know…did you tell them to fuck off when you left?!!! lol
fuck no. they did agree to take no points off my license, so I was very respectful
That always worked for me except for when the cop who stopped me was a woman. Then, not so much no matter how polite I was.
Bahahahaha
Then you didn't *actually* fail, Jeff—it was more of a compromise.
The fine is irritating, but not getting points on your license is the big thing.
Quid pro quo much?😆
When a police officer asks you to do something, you do it, and respectfully. Ask me how I know.
Yeah. Really when you’re caught and you know it, go to court early, talk to the ADA if possible and see if s(he) will go for a reduced charge.
Happened to my husband too, last year. He was going 37 in a 25mph zone and drove right past the sheriff’s dept. Well, a sheriff was sitting in one of those cars and nailed him. $300 fine and had to take an online traffic ticket course which cost an additional $25!
Smart move
👍👍
Jeff, you do know that they put points On your license, not take them off?
So don’t be happy when you find out you’ve got 12 points- your license is about to be suspended!
Jeff was the kinder gentler Jeff in court.
Jeff, I find all of your violations moving. Please don't stop.
😂😂
😂😂💕😂
Rudy G. was unavailable as your counsel? You couldn't afford his fee? He doesn't take cheques? Perhaps your argument was immaterial, incontinent, incomprehensible? Did you wear a proper suit?
Rudy takes his fees in vodka.😂😂
...and sweat-soluble hair dye...
Now we’re all associating with a man convicted of a misdemeanor. Yay!!!!
Don't you just hate when that car flashes the lights behind you? Once I cut one off on the highway in CA. and he turned those "stupid" lights on! Take a deep breath: at least you are not part of the WH press corps. Did you tell them how famous and well loved you are? Maybe that could have helped!!
I looked in the rearview mirror right as I was running a red light; saw a cop right behind me. So, I pulled over right away. When the cop asked me why I pulled over, I said, "Didn't you see me? I just ran a red light back there." I ended up getting a warning instead of a ticket.
Haha!!!
Don't you worry! I once gave my finger to a cop . He was in an unmarked car with a perp in the back. He kept flicking his lights ,then put on his siren..thing was ..I couldn't go over..no room..I gave him the finger.finally got to the side..he told me he will give me a ticket for " not yielding"..I asked him are you sure it wasn't my gesture..he says.." there is no statute for that..Cost me over $ 200. I didn't care. Finger gesture was good. BASTARD
WITCH HUNT!!! 🤣🤣🤣.
Weaponized justice system.
You dare make sport of Dear Leader's felonies, when you your self don't respect stop signs?
Lol. I’ve never tried to talk my way out. Paid the fucking fine and did online traffic school to avoid the points.
I got nailed for making a left turn through a red arrow. In my defense, it was burnt out. The cops were right behind me. Pulled me over, wrote everything down, only wrote down the license number of the car I was driving incorrectly. And it was a rental.
So I figured they'd never find me. I paid the fine, though, just in case. Never did the traffic school thing. Because there was no way to connect my DL to the license plate of the car--which didn't exist.
I mean, Ive tried to TALK myself outta a lot of things Jeff. Im just USUALLY not successful when I do.
Should have screamed they were socialists trying to take away your freedom. Judges love that shit.
The judge should be impeached.
My disgust and anger over yesterday’s events are matched only by my gripping fear of what’s next.
Same, Paul
They’re also saying that they can’t possibly meet their needs without social security and Medicare money. Cutting Medicaid, Medicare and social security will result in deaths. I’m just not summoning humor today and that almost never happens. But Beeface and Sporkfoot worked its magic for me!
Evergreen statement.
Same. I’m beyond disgusted, disappointed, depressed…did I mention disgusted?
Yes,Paul! Putin's Manchurian candidate showed his true colors yesterday.The Emperor now has no clothes. It would only take a few Republicans with a spine to impeach Trump now, before he destroys our democracy!
The obscene display in the Oval Office was appalling- we are a shitty country. Thuggery and intimidation… we are a joke in the world. Fuck these people-I will not be learning to speak Russian.
And Idaho? It figures.
What a complete shit show that was. I saw a clip of Zelensky TRYING to explain to our unqualified diplomats that cosplay as the Pres and VP that Putin had reneged 25 times in their ceasefire agreements in the past and can't be trusted. Trump also is on video saying that he got mad at Zelensky because he said "negative things" about Putin. Trump is definitely Krasnov.
Since the mid 70’s Jayme!!
Pussy grabber turned into territory grabber (Panama Canal, Greenland, Gaza) turned into, unsurprisingly, mineral grabber. Shameless extorter.
Has there been any news coverage that calls the mineral deal "protection extortion"? That's exactly what it is.
Corporate media is worthless. Fucking quislings
It’s extortion certainly, MSM doesn’t feel compelled to call a spade a spade though Burke!!
Except the orange felon isn't even promising protection!
I still think his mother should have aborted him. The orange helium balloon is suspected of having been the inspiration for " Rosemary's baby."
Alexsandr Dugin’s philosophy is far reaching, as is the Transnational Criminal Syndicate HI2!!
I wake up every morning and the first thing I see is my 3ft X 4 ft Canadian flag on my bedroom wall. It puts me in a good mood. I've never been to Canada in my life.
Had yesterday not been the economic boycott day, I was going to order a Ukranian flag to fly. As it was, I just started regular donations to United 24 which, by the way, is now offering t-shirts saying, "I'll wear the costume when this war is over."
Thanks for the heads-up on United 24. Yesterday was appalling.
I love the mix in translation… French call a man’s suit a costume. Sorta funny that word… we American use costume as dress up… British say bathing costume rather than bathing suit. 🩱
Back when the "Dress for Success" books were big, as I recall the authors pointed out that suits were a costume for the role you were playing in the business world. It was a signal that you knew the rules.
100% suits are not for work, like actual work, they are for meetings. They are meant to imply the level of power over others that you have. Blue is power, tan is casual, brown is subservient, black is mournful or edgy but not as powerful as blue. The red tie or women's blouse says don't fuck with me today, etc. i loved when Obama wore a tan suit and the beltway was apoplectic. Biz casual pants and sweaters are for actual work. Fatigues are for war. War chiefs wear fatigues. What a moron. Why aren't you wearing a suit. Z could have said, I am the commender in chief of the Ukrainian military and I am wearing my military fatigues.
that would be nice, too... The Ukrainian flag
Canada probably wants to build a wall and make us pay for it
I flew my pirate flag yesterday. It was No Shopping Day plus the shit in the oval. I fly it whenever something bad happens. Looks like that flag will be in tatters before long.
Ha ha, that’s brilliant 🇨🇦
Visit soon! If you wait too long, you might need to apply for a Visa from Moscow to cross the border.
I have a passport...as soon as I scrape up enough funds to where I can enjoy myself for a week or two there, I will...
Sure wish I could be get employed there first, and then get a fast-track to citizenship
Yeah, the Nazi salute was my hometown. Big sigh, keep fighting the good fight
We live in a mafiosi country Susan, it hasn’t happened overnight. Unfortunately the willfully ignorant are still hoping for the $5K check to appear in their mailbox!!
🤣🤣
Idaho has been lost for awhile. (Argentina with tumbleweeds)
😢
What’s horrifying is that even if putin gets mad at his WH assets, the next in line is maga mike. Can you imagine him telling Zelenskyy to pray with him and putin will…I don’t know, not slaughter him? BTW, I loved how when trump accused him of starting WW3 Zelenskyy said he’d already heard putin’s talking point. That he handled what was thrown at him so well in his 3rd or 4th language was just amazing.
Yes 🙌 incredible… the close-ups of his face while trying to follow the crazy man’s logic are priceless !!! Zelenskyy is brilliant and after seeing the AI of his ko to tfg, im even more impressed with Zelenskyy keeping his calm 😌 He definitely could have knocked tfg out !
Tfg is not even aware of the man’s fighting skills and ability to defend himself and his country ! Hats off to the man who is a real leader !
I didn't see turd or Vance walk Zelensky out to his car afterward. Heard Zelensky & team were taken from Oval to different room, then told mtg was over and Z could leave. No words. 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
Despicable !! Is this possible ? I’ve been thinking : Where are the women ?
He kicked their asses.
When Zelensky was getting ambushed by drumph and couch fucker I wished Zelensky would have used his interpreter. That might have helped him get his point across and possibly slow down the Russian talking points assault by the orange mango and couch fucker McGee.
He got the point across just fine in my humble opinion.
An interpreter would definitely have been advantageous. For example, “playing your cards…” is a common expression and we all
Know what Trump meant in this instance but was Zelensky just as sure?
Colloquialisms are not easy to follow in another language to be sure. He was like, " we are not playing cards" and did look a little unsure how else to respond. These people are the most ungracious fuckers in history. So little, so stupid, so careless but they did their job apply because Russian state media was all 'surprised' and happy.
Good point.
Never mess with a Ukrainian- been married to one for 43 years.
Nice, disturbing, very stupid week-nazis, fake religion, fake money, fake chin rub, and lastly-fake fucking president and vp of the US. Poor Zelenskyy-so glad he stood up the those idiots. Rubio looked sick to his stomach the whole time. The “press” included sporky’s bf and TASS—-not AP or Reuters…gimme a break! Time for a glass of wine yet??????
Paula White is King Shitpants in a dress. Don Jr is a junkie. Gin blossom Glen is a drunk. Shitpants was just doing what any malignant narcissistic psychopath would do. And it looked like JD was about to get on his knees and unzip daddy's pants. Another day in American politics.
Since addiction runs in drumph’s family how does the family not see that Cokey McSniffles (Don,Jr.), is a junkie? JD is a POS trying to impress his Fuhrer as he is trying to get out from behind the shadow of the muskrat-in-chief…
Someone on another substack referred to Vance as a "pile of ass hair" and I think that bears repeating.
That was the initial Wonkette reaction to him as a Senate candidate ("unlikeable pile of human butthair") which has become a standard way of refering to him since he was tapped for VP.
They have a hard time taking responsibility for themselves. Having Shitpants for a father would put anyone in trauma therapy. I could write a book about that. Thank goodness for therapy.
And I will add 12 step programs to your list!
I read somewhere that it was "drumpf" but you have a slightly different spelling. I wonder which is right or could they have used both?
That’s my reaction to seeing his fucking face, I still feel sick when I think of that whole ugly scene and I don’t think it will go away, ever.
For another ugly scene, check out the recent Meidas Touch episode that showed an interview with one of the Tate brothers, who are charged with child rape and sex trafficking, about how he beats young women and girls into submission ("break their cheekbones") and then assaults them. It was one of the chilling cuts I've ever seen. I am glad I oppose the death penalty with no exceptions, because otherwise I'd want to make one. These are the Brits that Trump wrangled away from Romania, which was trying to convict them, and brought to Florida.
It figures. One rapist supporting two others.
I don't have the stomach for it. God. Buch of animals.
Thank you for expressing that thought out loud--I felt the same way. This will be another shameful period in our country for which we will eventually have to answer, just as we need to finally admit that slavery was wrong and has warped our national conscience ever since.
Secretary of Bullshit Rubio looked like his nose hairs were on fire as his movements indicated that Sir Shitsalot blew a major load. Besides the delusional loyalty to a 300 lb. demented carcass, you have to wonder if any of these devoted sycophants will ever see the light or does fuckface have too much on them? In the meantime, it's 5:00 somewhere Tess.
I think fuckface has tons of shit on all of them- like Putin has on trumpy….
Putin knows rather well of Trumps criminal history with mob syndicates, Russian as well. Since they purchased all of Trumps debt and now control Trump Corporation Tess…quid pro quo and loyalty is demanded!!
One excuse that the spineless are using is that they are afraid for their lives and families. This came from Romney.
Tess: I don’t think he has info on them - they are men without balls/spine. Just weaklings whose lives are run by fear & need for external power
Absolutely…but I still think he has some info on some of them…
Yup! Go along to get along.
It’s Saturday, brunch day here in the PNW, and what’s brunch without an adult beverage?
I was told that the difference between breakfast and brunch is alcohol.
Yup! Sounds about right, as I'm heading off to brunch, myself.
😂😂
Except that afterwards Rubio kissed ass AGAIN!!
Time for the whole damn bottle with the GOP idiots running loose.
Why stop at one Tess??
Who said I did??!!!! Hahaha 😂
Rubio increasingly resembles an overbaked potato: shriveled up inside his jackets. I sincerely hope he's caught syphilis from bending over and taking it rough from JD Vance and TFG.
It’s 5:00 somewhere…
So by all means have yourself a few glasses of wine.
I cannot believe how insane this country has become😡
Did anyone else catch hillbilly couchfuck mcgee’s slip-up? “Russia invaded Ukraine…” Oops! But, the best line of the whole clownish ambush fiasco? President Zelenskyy to beeface, “After this war is over, I will wear costume… maybe like yours? maybe cheaper, maybe better.”
I’m gonna have to reserve comment as I’m still much too angry at what is happening here.
I get it Neal. Observing reality, as it actually is, can be stress reducing.
1. On Feb 19, 2025 the President of the United States of America declared his personal allegiance to Vladimir Putin, the murderous dictator of Russia.
2. On Feb 24 the United States of America voted in the United Nations on the side of Russia and North Korea and against Europe and Ukraine.
3. On Feb 26 the new Cabinet met in the White House. Elon Musk led the meeting and publicly confirmed his control over the President and the Executive Branch.
4. On Feb 28 the President and Vice President revealed their abject fear of offending Vladimir Putin. Their fear was witnessed by the entire world, with future generations to wonder why. A strange show of weakness of the leaders of the greatest nation on Earth, cowtowing to one of the weakest nations.
5. As of today, 2.2 million federal employees now report to Elon Musk on a weekly basis, bypassing their supervisors, and beg Elon's DOG-E (pronounced Doggie) to not fire them.
6. Elon Musk exerts control over the GOP members of the Senate and House. So he now controls two of the three branches of the government.Judiciary is next.
Hope this reality check helps your stress level!
Rump has already bought Scrotus.
I'm not reserving comment myself - I'm beyond words
Feel ya.
Never, ever has a United States President showed the disrespect that Trump showed Zelensky.. Plus, attack dog Vance showed what a douche he is..
Even when we accepted the Japanese & German surrender's, we treated their emissaries with respect.
True dat Joel…Instead of honorably accepting a katana, they tossed piles of shit!!
There was more decorum between Hitler and Chamberlain at the signing of the Munich Agreement 9/30/1938…
The whole thing was so beyond the pale it was surreal, the disgusting lack of decorum never seen before in this kind of situation. It was like watching some movie or TV show; I felt violated for Z. This is stuff that should be behind closed doors, however Orange and JD wouldn't have the balls to do that in private. The MTG-humping asshole blurting that out was just as crazy, hearing the laughter and seeing smirk on JD's face. Marco shrinking in his seat. It was an orchestrated pile-on session by these fucks.
Rubio was right about one thing, if Trump had been in office the war would never had gone on because Trump would have handed Ukraine to Putin on a silver platter. What a sorry excuse for a SOS and he seemed to be one of the better choices Trump made. One month in and he should have resigned instead of supporting that shit show.
Rubio has always been a steaming pile of shit Jayme, mysterious to no one anymore!!
No brains and no balls is Marquito. But all the ‘Buelas in Miami think he’s just So cute and elected him to the Senate. Where he impressed No One in his years taking up space there. Now he has been Peter Principled way above his competence level by the orange shit stain. But being a grocery clerk would have done that equally as well.
I’m just happy thinking about the reception he will receive his next trip to Europe. Stupid little man.
Marquito! That's a new twist on Liddle Marco, where the biggest thing on him is his ears. He's got ears the size of satellite dishes.
It was a shakedown
The best part was undoubtedly the global media has realized how far the country has fallen into Solntsevskaya Bratva (Russian Mafia) hands James!!
I felt my soul leaving my body as I was looking down at the room, not sure I have it back yet. It was ‘The Aprentice’ all over again!
Having never seen that fustian and fantasy laden dross, but a Noel Casler reader, it’s easy to understand your sentiment Paul!!
With friends like us who needs enemas? And let's be honest, Zellenskyy has made it a point to thank the U.S. on multiple occasions. Honestly, if so many lives weren't at stake the guy would be well within his rights to cold-cock Orange Jabba and his Hillbilly Messenger Boy (arcane Godfather II reference). Best part of yesterday's shitshow was designated GOP Butt-boy, Lady Lindsay, saying she has never been more proud of President Bone Spurs. It's clear that his ethics, like his closet, has a revolving door. Boy, Reverend Ike woulda made-out like a bandit with this administration. Hey, did anyone ever find out if the gold was still at Ft. Knox? Our did Auric Goldtoilet irradiate the entire facility?
I was praying that Zelensky would lose it and smack Donnie on the snoot. . .
That’s also what I wished former DC cop Michael Fanone had done last weekend, when ‘Proud Boy’ Enrique Tarrio screamed obscenities at him, trying to goad him into giving that pardoned seditious conspirator POS the ass-kicking he's just begging for. But that’s how men of actual character and strength react to wienie-ass provocation: They refuse to take the bait.
“Every dog has its day”…drumph, Vance, tarrio, all of the retrumplican ass kissers and sycophants will have their day in the shithole of fuckery soon enough.
I was praying he would Not. He was certainly provoked enough to justify it if he did.
"Lady Lindsay"...this is *gold*. Speaking of which, the Ft. Knox episode is scheduled for next week sometime.
absconding with the enemas lie
Bee all you can Bee
my god that's good
Personally, I'd like him to buzz off. . .
I had to look up Spork foot, yes I understand now I will use it differently nor because it makes sense but she speaks with sporked tongue.
Have you ever seen a spork foot? It's absolutely horrifying!
Yes I saw pictures she’s a miscreant in every way. Facial proportions also, example eyes should be mid way from top of head to bottom of chin. But not with Neanderthal yes I bought that rap right away.
Bee Best!
Just say Moe.
😂😂😂😂😂
I wonder if Zelinskyy knew he was going to be on a live “The Apprentice” show. Surely, his background in television prepared him for the onslaught and it did. He never lost his cool. He never sunk to their idiocy level. He’s not a goniff like Shitstain or Couchfuck. He is my HERO!
Someone needs to let MAGAts know that in 1942 Winston Churchill wore his air-raid suit to the White House during WWII. I think he would have been proud of Zelensky. This country is really going down hill cuz of the orange buffoon. Just one month in and he has destroyed our working gov't, about to wreck our economy and has all our allies pissed off at us.
I hope if Zelensky ever returns to the White House, he's wearing a tan suit like the one Obama had on that time he destroyed the dignity of the presidency.
They MIGHT modify their tactics when the stock market tanks.
Yesterday's shit show is what happens when the necessary prep work isn't done before a summit. Yes, summits are boring. They are supposed to be boring. Before the principles meet, the agenda is set, the i's are dotted, and the t's are crossed at the ministerial, cabinet level. All that is left is signing and the press spray. But that is way too much work and takes way too much time for the guy who thinks he can solve all the world's problems in a day. "Repeal and replace Obamacare on day one." "Have a splashy meeting with Kim Jung Un and get North Korea to give up their nukes." "End the war in Ukraine on day one." If problems were that easy to solve, they'd have been solved. Diplomacy takes work. And speaking of diplomacy and getting things done at the ministerial level, having the country's top diplomat slouched in his chair hoping that no one will see him, does not inspire confidence in the process.
Vance screaming that Zelensky never says "thank you" enough and President Pig Dick fart-babbling beside him belongs in the same gallery as Krushchev banging on his desk at the UN with his shoe like the peasant he was, demanding attention. There's no such thing as Russian diplomacy, folks. And now, American diplomacy is a cheap bar fight.
Hi Jeff, I know you cannot cover everything in your weekly roundup however you missed this story. It seems the former Fox weekend host now the minister of defense, Hegseth has given orders to US Cyber Command to stand down on all planning against Russia… why? This is an intentional fuck up of major proportions… not to mention what our former allies are thinking. Tend to doubt our former allies will share any information with us now…⚠️⚠️⚠️ it’s just a matter of time until a drastic attack happens against our country.
Russia has no need to invade or attack us. They have already defeated us.
Not yet.
Putin: Everybody wants to have sex with me.
Xi: That's not what they mean by 'Fuck Putin'
Hegseth also threatened unilateral action against Mexico yesterday. Guess that one goes on his 5-item What Did You Accomplish This Week report to Musk.