this week in stupid: June 24 edition

musk and zuck in a donnybrook, and so much more ...

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.

monday: the curious case of the disappearing juneteenth

fun true fact: in 2021, Joe Biden signed legislation making Juneteenth a national holiday.

funner and truer fact: a year earlier, in 2020, Ron DeSantis signed a proclamation making Juneteenth a Florida state holiday.

I’d love to show you that proclamation, but I can’t, because DeSantis removed it from his web site, because being a racist asshole is more on-brand for Ron.

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tuesday: racist asshole goes on tv, racist assholery ensues

it’s a This Week In Stupid Ron DeSantis two-fer!

hey Ron, you spent yesterdy shitting on Juneteenth. what do you have planned for today?

here’s Ron, explaining that he can’t stand to watch basketball because it’s played by black people. no, excuse me, he didn’t exactly say “black people.” what he said was “freaks of nature.”

nice.

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wednesday: there are bodices out there, dammit, being unsufficiently ripped

we’ve noted before about how exhausting it must be to be a conservative, because every day you have to find some new thing to freak the fuck out over.

let’s spin the Big Wheel of Outrage and see where it lands today.

annnnnnnnnd … it’s romance novels. that’s right, romance novels.

There is, you may have noticed, a cohort of rightwing culture warriors perpetually looking for an excuse to get offended, and it appears some of them read Publishers Weekly. The New York Post just put out a disgusted article about how woke women are flocking to novels featuring “squishy-centered men.”

it really makes you nostalgic for the days when the biggest problem the world faced was a black Santa Claus.

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thursday: just two well-adjusted dudes out here having a perfectly normal one

when I was a kid, way back in the 1960s, we had one billionaire: J. Paul Getty. and you almost never heard about J. Paul Getty — he was rarely in the news — because he was content to fuck off and do whatever you do when you’re the world’s only billionaire.

fast forward to today. the world is overrun with fragile man-child billionaires who are constantly in your face, demanding to be paid attention to.

Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg have challenged each other to a cage match. why would they want to do this? I’m guessing it’s because imploding the fuck out of yourself in a deep ocean capsule was already taken.

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friday: everything bad that happens is Joe Biden’s fault.

let us suppose you were an idiot. and let us suppose you were Rep. Troy Nehls. but I repeat myself.

here’s Roy blaming the Titan submersible cover-up conspiracy (I’m not making this up) on Joe Biden, because reasons.

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saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

LATE-BREAKING NEWS: WE HAVE OUR SATURDAY STUPID! EVERYTHING IS STILL JOE BIDEN’S FAULT!

have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.