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User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

apparently, Couchfuck McGee believes that World War Two was ended through negotiation

https://x.com/yogeshtwet/status/2065425278139003082

PrincessKrapotkin's avatar

I especially liked how Germany was able to negotiate the ending of WWII. I guess Hitler said something like, “What do I gotta do to bring the Allies to their knees? Kill myself?”

SPW's avatar
4hEdited

Uncle Jeff, did you notice the janky three arms next to the blocky handed angel? That’s kind of wild. AI is trying to put janky god out of crazy creation business.

myhoopbabies's avatar

It seems clear that they fed the plagerism robot with something like "make the crowd bigger than anyone has ever seen, made up of white men in suits. And throw in a few women, but make sure they're angels on steroids or nuns." These people are nucking futs.

Cathy Rady's avatar

these so-called Christian men believe that all women are meant to be either virgins, whores or submissive breeding stock

Lisbeth Whitney's avatar

Quite a slew of funky fingers in that creation too.

A.J. Madison's avatar

There’s an easy tool to add to AI rendering to fix hands. Anyone who knows their ass from Dwumpy’s mouth uses this tool. Oh, but I forgot, MAGAs have no fucking clue about quality control. They only understand spewing shit.

Dorian's avatar

How many mouths (or are they chins) does that blocky handed angel have? Tilt your screen a certain way, and you'll see some creepy shit crawling up her face.

Cathy Rady's avatar

I'm trying to decide if that one rosy spot on the angel's (pretty muscular) pec is a nipple?

it seems to be pointed kinda sideways . . . but she must have one. so what else could it be ???

Unless God screwed up badly and it turns out that there are mosquitos in Heaven

Cathy Rady's avatar

and thank you God that AI didn't try to 'MAGA-facture' a belly-button for her

Jill Palethorpe's avatar

Thankfully it appears that California hasn't made the cut. The whole west coast kinda curves in after Oregon. (Sorry all of you not living in CA)

Kay-El's avatar

In Trumpworld surrendering is negotiation, just look at his Iran “deals”

Grace Kennedy's avatar

And Piss Pete likes to negotiate with bombs.

Cathy Rady's avatar

our big, fat, incontinent, inept, war mongering BULLY is being humiliated

by Iran

gee - whould'a thunk it?

Joe Witkowski's avatar

The couch cushions lost and were sodomized by war criminals who look like bearded clams

TCinDC's avatar

Yeah, nothing like "negotiating" with two bombs named Little Boy and Fat Man.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Please tell me that the interviewer jumped in with "How can you say that? WWI and WWII both ended with surrender! Not to mention Hitler's suicide. . ."

A.J. Madison's avatar

JFC. Hitler committed suicide becuz he knew what the Ruskies were going to do to him. That and Adolph didn’t say enuf is enuf, and instead demanded every last Berliner defend the capital to the death. The city was leveled. There was nothing left when the Red Army reached der Fuhrer’s bunker. Yeah, lots of negotiating there.

P123Sunny's avatar

And STILL some ppl still believed (see: Nuremberg (movie) / Göring) — despite the smoldering rubble

Dorian's avatar

How embarrassing for Couchfuck.

SethTriggs's avatar

Jizzy Divan is a rented propagandist who will say anything his billionaire paymasters desire—no matter how asinine. He is an empty suit with a merkin stapled to his stupid fucking face.

P123Sunny's avatar

empty suit w/ a microphone :/

Richard Hughes's avatar

Yeah, the Japs surrendered!

JsuttraL's avatar

Once they finish removing the name, can the worker swing by the White House and remove the actual person?

HI2thDoc's avatar

With the same crowbars

Grace Kennedy's avatar

Jeepers, we could even reuse the scaffold.

Jill Palethorpe's avatar

I like the way you think.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Clearly he knew this was a moment of humiliation. As has been noted, he's getting a foretaste about how everything he imagines is securing his "legacy" is going to be treated in the future.

Cathy Rady's avatar

this has gotta be as humiliating as his own foreskin removal was

Rick's avatar

given the confirmed stormy daniels description of the result -- also a botch job

Cathy Rady's avatar

😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

Polly Sears's avatar

And send his sorry ass to the Hague!

SPW's avatar

They’d have to put a curtain up first. Might take a while.

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

Omar the Tentmaker would need *lots* of time to make anything YUUUGE enough to cover #Bumblefuck.

bruce somers's avatar

I can't be the only one Googling guillotine blueprints.

Deb's avatar

Support completely

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

The old Bill of Rights is so fucked

'Cause this clown car is running amok

But you gotta remember

To vote in November

And these bitches' old feathers we'll PLUCK!

HI2thDoc's avatar
4hEdited

Predator Preznit, human blight

Tweeting in the dead of night

What evil doth infest thy brain

Are you demented or insane

Grifter, rapist, liar, fool

Loves to hang with those more cool

Used to play with the WWE

Now wants to schmooze the UFC

Rushed to bomb without a plan

Now you're buttfucked by Iran

Jeffrey's pal, can't read or write

Making sense is your hardest fight

You're afraid of all the Epstein files

We'll see you soon in your coming trials

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Wow! Are you channeling Poe?

HI2thDoc's avatar
4hEdited

William Blake's The Tyger. Do you remember a coupla months ago after Tiger Woods's latest car misadventure, and Jeff responded with Tiger, Tiger, turning right?

arne link's avatar

The man is brilliant. Everyone is saying...

HI2thDoc's avatar

Jeff helps keep us sane

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

I must have missed that one.....

HI2thDoc's avatar

Tiger, Tiger, turning right

Driving is his toughest fight

He could hit a golf ball far

But someone else should steer his car

Polly Sears's avatar

One of your best!!

P123Sunny's avatar

Daaaaaaannnnnng

Mike Hammer's avatar

Or tar and feather?

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I used to feel so superior to those morons who shoot up highway signs and the even dumber morons who rip them off, take ‘em home and hang ‘em on the walls of their bedrooms, but… damn, I’d like to have just one of those letters, shoot holes in it, and hang it on the wall. It’d be a treasured family heirloom.

Noel's avatar

I'd turn mine into a relief station for pigeons.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

That’s a maintenance issue. Eventually.

Noel's avatar

Yeah, I'd take some photos and then just bury it.

Dave Drell's avatar

Maybe Donny Dachau is going to sell each letter for $4995.00

each?

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Since our taxpayer dollars were involved, he’ll just cart them off to one of his golf motels, pretending he owns them

Dave Drell's avatar

Never thought of that!

Good point!

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Special today $86.47.

Jan Moon's avatar

I think he'll have to gild them just to jack up the price.

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

Except for the letter "R"....the Epstein Files are hidden under that one.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Good Morning Jeff.. as I predicted on other platforms concerning the removal to Donald’s name at the Kennedy Center. First off I’m sure those workers were getting OT pay along with 10% additional for work between 6pm and 6am.. Secondly, I stated that the actual removal will take place in the middle of the night 3am-4am. So I wonder who gave these orders as so much time had elapsed since Donalds and Todd’s appeal was rejected. What I did not expect was for this crew to put up tarps so the public (and Donald) could not view the removal… next up will be that Octagon shit show with weather and bugs descending on all the patrons… what could go wrong? Best to all fellow travelers.

Kathy E Gattuso's avatar

The weather forecast for his ufc fight doesn't look like it's going to be too good, but he can always take his sharpie and move the weather somewhere else like he did with the hurricane in florida. 🤣

US Blues's avatar

Hope there will be torrential downpours with tons of lightning!

myhoopbabies's avatar

I vote for one large, strategically placed bolt of lightning. ⚡

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

....that shoots out into the crowd, a la "Raders of the Lost Ark".

No matter WHAT happens, be prepared to hear #Bumblefuck blame the weather on hoards of CLOUD-SEEDING LIBTARDS, intent on spoiling his BIRTHDAY PARTY....w/ background music, courtesy of Lesley Gore's "It's My Party, & I'll Cry If I Want to".

Tedd VanWagner's avatar

It'll be Biden's fault...

Lois Levenstone's avatar

Add in 100% humidity, biting gnats and mosquitoes.

Lin Talbot-Koehl's avatar

Send down a swarm of ALASKAN mosquitoes. Those bastards are about 1" long, & leave a welt about the size of a quarter (personal experience).

My Dad was in the USAF at Eielson AFB/Fairbanks....& his standard joke was, "Something landed on the airstrip once....& we got 100 gal of jet fuel in it, before we realized it was a mosquito". Their leather jackets even had a pic of a helmet-wearing, cigar-chomping, scowling mosquito, blasting away w/ a machine gun. (Wish I still had that one - my brother ruined it.)

Cathy Wray's avatar

...and a tornado!!! Vicious!!!

zuzu's avatar

If it's the same weather system we just had in Chicago, it's pretty nasty. All kinds of old trees ripped out by the roots here on the South Side.

Deb's avatar

Accurate lightning strikes.

Steve in SoCal's avatar

I saw where it was going when they started putting up a scaffold. The installed the letters using a scissor lift, and could have easily used it to remove them. The scaffold was solely for use as a de facto drapery rod.

HI2thDoc's avatar

On our dime. Always on our dime.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

It's like his claiming they were "cheering" him at the Knicks game. Deep down he knows he is a failure and loser but has to remain in total denial.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

His sad attempt at stolen valor has ended in total humiliation. But what he isn't allowed to steal, he destroys.

arne link's avatar

Everything he does now is a big F you to all Americans. He is out for vengeance.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

He knows -- but won't admit -- that time is not on his side.

Dave Drell's avatar

Never admits anything - a function of his

mega narcissism

Jeanne Leduc's avatar

Orangeshitstain is a PAB, delaying and covering it up, was just throwing its usual petty tantrum...

Maggie&Lefty's avatar

Ha ha ha ha ha ! TDS!!! TOTAL DENIAL SYNDROME !!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Jill Palethorpe's avatar

Deaf as well as semi blind and totally stupid. Unfortunately he can still talk.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

But increasingly incoherently.

zuzu's avatar

I'm watching the final season of The Boys, and while I know the writers were patterning Homelander off him more and more as time went on, it's really uncanny how well they predicted him this final season. Even that Jesus Over America AI slop in this post and the golden idol down in Florida.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

GREAT performance by Antony Starr. I absolutely hated his character. :)

HI2thDoc's avatar

Torrential rains and lightning would be poetic justice. The liberal weather masheen that MTG and other MAGA kooks think we have will need to be turned up full blast.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

What’s this Doc? The weather forecast did not mention ketchup flying all over our WH … what’s up with that?

HI2thDoc's avatar

He won't fling his ketchup as long as he can gaze at muscle-y sweaty men beating the shit out of each other

arne link's avatar

I have come to believe that he is a closet Queen. Nothing wrong with being a Queen, just own it.

HI2thDoc's avatar

He hasn't owned anything he is responsible for in his life, while laying claim and grabbing all that he covets but has no right to

Mary Lou Williams's avatar

There is something really, really wrong with our country that has allowed this tyrant to run roughshod over our values and laws. People call him a loser but why since he gets what he wants and enjoys the fruits of "our" labor. He is able to bankrupt our country, verbally abuse us 24 hours a day, plaster his name and image all over our nation's capitol in a heartbeat forcing us to hope we can remove his name from a beloved institution in a long foot dragging effort requiring court edict and ultimately removed in secret. When and how can we last until January. 2027?

Cheri Collins's avatar

Ugh! Don’t insult queens like that!

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Yeah, now that’s a good point I really didn’t think through.. what’s the over/under Donald sleeps through most of the production? I’m sure that issue is part of the new predictive gambling scheme..

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

As of a couple of hours ago, this was the DC forecast for tomorrow :

Hot and humid with intervals of clouds and sun; a heavy thunderstorm late in the afternoon; downpours and lightning could impact the events at the White House

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Well..that sounds like poetry to me…🫨🫨🫨

Paula Dean's avatar

*Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightening!*

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

If it gets rained out he'll claim the weather was "rigged."

SPW's avatar

Since all those high intensity lights seem to be giving pilots at Reagan problems, don’t ask.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

The tarps can be re-used to shield acts of pedophilia.

Tess's avatar

This was hilarious!!! Thanks for the laughs! “ask not what your country can do for you — ask what grown men in tights, pretending to slap the shit out of each other, can do for Dear Leader.’

Thanks Jeff!

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The "fluorescent thongs" -- omg!

Mike Hammer's avatar

So the last screwworm outbreak was in 1966, so yeah, there’s no there’s no problem here. And “we’re from the government and we’re here to help and the secretary of health and human services has worms in his head, so cool!

Bob's avatar

I’d say Brooke Rollins is as dumb as dirt, but dirt serves several useful purposes. Brooke only serves some fucking idiot.

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

Dirt vs Soil: Soil is a living, complex mixture of minerals, organic matter, water, air, and organisms that supports plant growth, while dirt is displaced or degraded soil lacking structure, nutrients, and biological activity.

Megan Ross's avatar

It's amazing how fast TRump's name was added to the Kennedy Center, with a simple scissor lift, but it took an entire fKiNg day to build scaffolding to take it down. After about 10 p.m. PDST, I gave up and went to bed, figuring that The Convicted Felon was going to pull some stupid shit, like tarping off the site so the public couldn't see his name being pried off the building. I was right. He's such a fKiNg asshole. I hope he dies soon.

Joyce's avatar

MS-NOW, before 6 pm yesterday, announced that its live feed of the scaffolding had already reached 3 million views on Youtube. That's roughly the number of ketchup bottles that hit the walls in the White House yesterday.

Megan Ross's avatar

I just wish We the People could have witnessed the prying of TRump's name off the Kennedy Center. I knew TRump would somehow ruin it for everyone. He ruins EVERYTHING. The midterms are 5 months away and I hope TRump will become the Lame Duck that he is! Vote ALL Blue! 💙

Dave Drell's avatar

As long as he has been rebuked, and made to look stupid, that’s fine with me.

Crystal Hartley's avatar

Trump is why we can't have nice things and fun times!

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

He didn’t want anyone to see it being removed.

Mary Lou Williams's avatar

There again WHY does he get to call the shots?

Joe Witkowski's avatar

I pray to the patron saint of McDonalds fryer grease that the Almighty give him a nonstop in coach to hell.

Megan Ross's avatar

Amen!🤣😎🤣

arne link's avatar

May the one true Lord hear our prayer.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Ditto Megan, the choice of scaffolding was fairly obvious!

Martha Howell's avatar

But Medicaid can't afford to get my disabled family member portable oxygen, just 30' hoses. Because he doesn't need to breathe/leave the house. We need that money for OT, scaffolding, golden horses, and the Triumphal Trump Arch. Priorities, people.

Dina's avatar

The Reflecting Pool now looks like something RFK, Jr., would swim in.

george  campbell's avatar

That algae in the reflecting pool will be tough to get rid of .The National Swimming Pool Foundation in their publication -Pool and Spa Operator Handbook - makes two points : millions of spores are carried by the wind every day into pools . They thrive in warm humid weather, i.e. Washington DC . Only constant maintenance and the proper algicides can control this . Nobody in the current administration has a clue about any of this. The "useless scribblers " need to be reporting the condition of the reflecting pool on a regular basis going forward . Not holding my breath on that .

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I have a swimming pool, maintenance is not even possible as far as the algae is concerned and never will be. That was #1 my thought when I heard of the renovation the concrete would have to of been redone. And the paint wouldn’t matter at all, that algae is here to stay.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

This may be a dumb question, but who’s paying for the work to remove Trump’s name from the Kennedy Center? He changed the name illegally, so shouldn’t he be charged to take it down? Maybe he can ask his trillionaire friend to foot the bill.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

You spelled "dumb" with a "b." Trump tells us most people don't know that. That's because HE'S "dum."

J Glaspie's avatar

He's a dum-dum a/k/a sucker.

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Trump shouldn’t try to mess with us. He is such a moron

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

He's "low IQ." His every accusation is really a confession.

Bob Kent's avatar

As with everything, We The People will be paying for the removal

Ann Anderson's avatar

Old Testament Bill of Rights... Jeff is on fire today. The name is off the Kennedy Center but the 250-ft arch de Trump is under construction on a rush schedule--20 hours per day because Fuckwit is also on a rush schedule owing to rotting from the inside out. The arch is entirely illegal but it's going up because - reasons. I'll make the safe prediction that it will be the most vandalized site in the nation and will eventually be relocated to one of Fuckwit's golf motels.

Joyce's avatar

Imagine what can be done to the arch de Dementia with a couple of drones.......

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Not surprised he's working on the gilded Horses of the Apocalypse first.

Paula Dean's avatar

Why do those horses look like mutant elephants?

Theresa Breach's avatar

Yep they look like elephants from the Dumbo dream trip

Joe Witkowski's avatar

It will be more caked with bird shit than a submarine hull with barnacles.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’m wondering who the dead guy buried under the arch will be per tradition Ann?

HI2thDoc's avatar

Geez, shouldn't fundamentalist literalist Bible bangers know blasphemy when the see or create it?

JFC, unironically.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Apparently not. Squeaker Johnson claims to live by the Bible but his edition seems to edit out the parts about not bearing false witness and welcoming the stranger.

HI2thDoc's avatar

These faker types wave, wield, and utilize the Bible as a weapon of self-righteousness and judgement, but do not actually read or follow it.

arne link's avatar

The horrible Fake Christians are the worst things on earth. The good Lord should smite them and smite them good.

Mark Slattery's avatar

I am glad the spectacle of "men in tights beating the shit out of each other" is going ahead. Millions of people will wake up on Monday to those images and say, "Wait....what????

Hoping for locust and frogs!

arne link's avatar

Praying for lightning, lots of lightning.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I say ‘that angel’ you know the steroidal one should win the night at the UFC promo.

Janet Welter's avatar

The horses look kinda pissed about the whole thing.

Joanne's avatar
4hEdited

Pete "My-Christianity-Is-The-Best-One" Hegseth is going to be apoplectic over the Catholic imagery in the DHS meme.

Kathy E Gattuso's avatar

Your columns always make my day. Keep up the good work.

Jacqueline Gindler's avatar

Agree; I look forward to them every single day. I love Claudia’s selfie, btw. Thanks for sharing.