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it's easy to forget that other things happened this week that weren't Trump's trial

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Jeff, you forgot to mention that a convicted felon will have to report to his probation officer on a regular basis and…. Submit to drug testing on a regular basis… I guess that’s why he’s freaking out… I love the sound of desperation early in the morning from Trump Tower👊👠

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Michael Cohen May 31 on Deadline WH re: his post-trial experience being questioned for pre-sentecing process: "and after exhausting in depth questions after all facets of my life, I had to urinate into a cup in front of the court official doing questioning". #FartingFelon is gonna freak out.

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He might have to squat to accomplish.

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Not always the case unfortunately

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I gave your comment a like because I'm a cynical skeptic and I'm afraid you're right.

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Jun 1·edited Jun 1

High Admiral (Captain Not-a-)Dr. Robby will just write Trump an Rx to make it all legit. Any lasting solution to "him" (Trump) requires holding his enablers accountable as well.

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Well, shit. I really, really want that particularly to happen

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Does a felon who gives a urine sample have to be observed while donating? Asking for a friend.

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Yes.

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Hope he’s got a script for the Addie’s ,he’ll have to admit to ADHD OR NARCOLEPSY,I’m going with the sleeping thing not because of dozing off in court ,because I hear he likes doing it with stiffs that’s why he keeps the former wife so close ! Ewwww! 😈😅🤮

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Opps can’t seem to get these psychological terms correct ! Silly me,Iwas thinking necrophillia not narcolepsy,but what the fuck ,he’s such a space shot he’s probably got both and then some .I really do think he likes to be mated too the belated ,he’s the biggest stiff on the planet 🌍 and Stormy the wife and several others say he’s a dead fuck with a dead 🍄 dick so the dearly deceased is probably his only option ,and they are the most loyal of his stable ,they don’t talk to anyone about his short Cummings !🤪😜😂😂

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Jeff, I don't know about you, but I only have space in my brain for one thought:

DONALD TRUMP is a CONVICTED FELON.

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A FOREVER felon. We need to keep that word and his name together every time we have to mention it. Convicted felon & rapist! 🤮 And there are t-shirts online that say, I’m voting for the felon. That could be a number of republiCon Congress members.

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Even if he wins on appeal, he will forever have been convicted. You can't unhear things and that thing works both ways. He loves being all over the place on something. He will always have to be all over the place on this and the more he squawks about his misery, the more people won't forget that.

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Yes, the fanatics seem to love that word "forever" and attach it to the strangest things!

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Excuse me—but did you know that Donald Trump is a CONVICTED FELON?

If not, I'd like to inform you of that fact: Republican former President and current putative Republican Candidate for President Donald Trump is a CONVICTED FELON.

Just need to be clear on that—the Republican Party is trying to pretend that there's nothing wrong with supporting Donald Trump, CONVICTED FELON.

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No shit this gas bag shit factory is using up valuable time we’re all running low on ,there are better things to waste our time on!

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Holy shit! That god lady needs ALL the meds, and she needs them now! These idiots haven't lost their shit after the verdict, they've lost their fucking minds!

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Or, as Dan Quayle said: "What a terrible thing to have lost one's mind. Or not to have a mind at all. How true that is."

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"A mind is a terrible thing to taste." -- Robert Kennedy Jr's brain worm

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“That poor worm took one bite out of RFK Jr's brain and totally lost its will to live."

Funeral arrangements are pending.

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The service will be held on Taco Tuesday.

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😂😂😂😅😅😅🤣🤣

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I like this extra much. I bet his brain killed the worm. Toxic brain syndrome.

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🎯🤣😂🤣😁

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That Brian Worm syndrome seems to be contagious

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😂😂

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Who knew Dan Quayle, of all people, would predict the future of the GOP?

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Or defend democracy, by teling Pence he could not do what Orange Gollum told him to do.

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Unfortunately, my son is one of them. When he called me the night of the verdict and asked me what I was doing, I said celebrating with a cocktail or three. As expected, he asked, celebrating what and I responded with a huge victory for the people and the felonious orange turd got what he deserved. That's when the shit hit the fan and our conversation didn't go favorably. Just goes to show that MAGAs in the family or every where else would rather not accept reality, facts or the outcome of this verdict.

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I’m sorry, too, Ron. My oldest brother is a magaT , my other older brother is more moderate, but still supports him, probably holding his nose as he votes because his wife pushes all that crap on him. It’s hard to watch family members who I thought were so smart devolve into all this fucked up shit. Makes me sad.

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Wonder how many of them just wanta be in the clique with the cool kids....you know they don't have a clue about anything that's going on or why. Or what will happen to them eventually.

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Or the " cool kids suck "

clique.

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Rick, sorry, not Ron.

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Thank you!

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I’m so sorry Rick. The only MAGAs in my family are extended relatives I don’t really communicate with. That’s got to be tough on a parent.

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Thank you Kay-el but he lives in California's newer land of the goosestep so it's not all that surprising.

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My sister lives in the heart of the hell-scape known as Texas.

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I have the exact same problem with my only living sister & my nephew, the son of my sister who is gone. My sister & I have had several raised voice convos about trump & the Qanon bs.

It’s really heartbreaking that the POS has managed to drive wedges between close family members.

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Coronated?? Sounds like a bad sex thing. God forgot to make his spokesperson literate

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What happened to “crowned”—good enough for kings and queens and emperors once upon a time.

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Is that like when someone had a coronary?

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Good one!! Seems possible to have had a coronary if one has been coronated… I maintain that the word has a tinge of sexual edginess. Maybe having a coronary while in the act of….?

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Yes!

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Lol, meryl!

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Ever so much this!^^^She's one of those mind-fuckers "This is not..." (what is so obviously is in reality.

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You have to have a mind to lose it

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🤣😂🤣

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She looks like she’s on a boatload of meds

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But not necessarilly the right ones.

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remember- they lost whatever minds they had the day donny walked down that escalator and declared himself running for president. he was running yes, but from all his failures which were close on his heels. only be being the president could he further delay the inevitable. he is becoming buried in his own shit and sooner rather than later there won't be anyone willing to put up with that smell.

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My biggest hope besides Biden winning, is that the internet goes down and stays down PERMANENTLY

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And that Shitter (former Twitter) permanently somehow gets blown sky-high, because Elmo is going to get worse and worse. Supposedly he's an advisor for CF Donnie Diaperstain, and the lies and mis-information is quadrupling almost by the minute.

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spelled Xitter. the x is prononced "sh".

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Lol, Dean, god lady stood out to me, too, how far this gone beyond leaps of faith to full-blown mass psychosis. ALL the meds, now!! Lol. Straight jackets & removal from civilized society, too. We don't change the world to accommodate insanity, we recognize the behavior & set necessary boundaries.

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I blame Reagan.

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She needs ECT post haste performed to the tune of "she's not there."

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A Zombies tune for someone who speaks like a potential zombie.

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founding

Only the lonely 🤦

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I much prefer chocolate chip ice cream to the Kool-aid these wingnuts are drinking!

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Me too. And I don't even like chocolate chip ice cream. 🤷‍♀️

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Same. Chocolate chip ice cream has been at the bottom of my list for decades and it’s no fault of anyone. FFS. The wingnuts are in “full speed ahead” mode.

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I like ALL ice cream but that really does help the rankings. Just an irrelevant comment for Saturday. Jeff is the best! That's my ranking.

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I don't like mint.

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It would help if the “chocolate” tasted like something other than paraffin with some brown food coloring.

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Don't confuse FROZEN DESSERT for ice cream, check

before you buy.

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This^^^

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Me neither...as an ice cream junkie, I always went full-on MINT chocolate chip!

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Nah, coffee ice cream is the best. I will also support mocha almond fudge, if desperate.

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I like coffee ice cream with hot fudge, especially in winter. I try to keep my lips from freezing!😋

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For me it's Häagen-Dazs Strawberry. Just shoot it into my veins. 😋

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All this talk about ice cream, I actually went to the grocery store and they had Tillamook on sale, and I got strawberry. Can’t wait! 😛

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You'll be dead before you hit the floor

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So ? At this age I'm too old to worry about it...🤷‍♀️🙄😎

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I hit 70 two months ago. I still lift weights. Really heavy weights.

I'd rather headrush into blackness at the gym than live a few more years and face infirmity, frailty, and cancer.

So I understand.

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🤗🤫🙄🤣🤷‍♀️ I forgot to put the shrug in.... 😉

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I love seeing the conservatives meltdown over people's joy at the convictions. These are the same people who joined in when Convicted Felon joked about an 82-yr-old man having his skull clawed open with a hammer.

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Yep, the “fuck your feelings” crowd don’t like it when it’s their feelings that are fucked with.

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Typical bullies.

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🎯

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Of course Duffy-is from Wisconsin….😩; “Lard-ass Mcgobble burger!!” great one-my mother used to say “lard ass!!!! “Spackle face with burnt cork” nice description on LDFF!! And chocolate chip ice cream scandal….WTF! You certainly had enough stupid to post this early!!! Well done sir!!!

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“McGobbleburger” is my second favorite Jeffism, right after “marinating the courtroom with his pungent ass-gas.” That was from last week. My husband and I still crack up at that one. Sheer genius with the words, Cousin Jeff!

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It’s even more scandalous than a tan suit!

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Jun 1·edited Jun 1

I’ve hated that twit since The “Real” World. She and Kennedy are two washed up MTV “personalities”.

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If I recall correctly, Dave Chappelle behaved like the ass he is on The Real World.

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Never saw him on there, I only watched the first two seasons and some of the London one…I did actually meet Chapelle at an ACLU convention right before his comedy central show blew up—he did a set there for the attendees. So sad to see what he has let himself become.

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He really pissed the women on the show off, with his obnoxious behavior.

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Ugh—I believe it!

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I think it was Dave Letterman who recently did an interview with Chapelle and it’s worthy of a watch. Chapelle has changed and is doing some great things in his hometown where he’s raising his family. I disagree with the negative comments about him.

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He's homophobic.

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He's also trans phobic

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It's just hate.

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Do you believe that a man can become a woman simply by saying so?

If the answer is yes, then state your reasoning. And leave out the "transphobic" part.

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I immediately added “Lard-ass McGobbleburger" to my growing list of LDFF monikers.

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Thanks for keeping that list up to date.!!!!!

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He does look absolutely awful, doesn't he.

Then again, he never was a handsome man. There is something dissipated about his face, there always has been.

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WHAT A WEEK. I FEEL SO RELIEVED. JUSTICE FINALLY WORKED.

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Michael, I also think the judge will need to apply some level of jail time. Trump immediately violated his gag order and intimidated the judge & jurors. It is time to shut trump’s mouth. If any of his supporters come out. Bring in the armed National Guard.

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founding

30-Days' home confinement in Trump Tower with an ankle bracelet and no access to social media, and limited visitation (how many people a day and for how long) would be nice. And a day added for every time he breaks the condition of no social media.

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"A day added for every time he breaks the condition" - at that rate, he'll owe so many days when he finally dies Don Jr. will have to finish serving the penalty!

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Let his ten grandchildren visit him. The ten that we have never heard him even mention. All ten at once, given espressos and some puppies.

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founding

Seems harsh for the kids, especially the ones whose last name is already Trump.

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You’re probably right. At least Barron is protected by Melania as far as we know. She said he was too busy to be a delegate at the R convention.

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I'm no fan of her evil, birther conspiracy, trophy-wife ass, but she does love her son. (as way more than just a paycheck. or anchor-baby.) That is her one redeeming feature.

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I like you!

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He also showed a complete lack of remorse and refused to take any responsibility for his criminal actions. Let him campaign from solitary. (He won't last a week)

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"who’s destroyed everything he’s touched,"

Trump projects more than a multiplex

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Good one!

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At an IMAX level, at that.

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"Lard-ass McGobbleburger" as ever Tiedrich is best.

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That is funny as hell along with the burnt cork for makeup.

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Done. In the archives.👍👏👏👏

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“Head-ferret” got me!!!

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Me too! 😂

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Head ferret really was the best. The ferret was looking kinda moldy at his post-trial spew session, wasn't it?

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The head-ferret got mange.

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Head ferret with mange .

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I snickered

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Poor Julie. All God does is lie to her. It's almost as if he doesn't really exist, except in her head.

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Damn, I wish you commentators would stop making me laugh out loud so often - I'm beginning to draw attention.

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Are we even sure it’s God that’s talking to her? 🙄🤪😁

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I'm pretty sure the other end of her can & string goes right up her ass.

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We were touring Assisi, and the guide explained about St Francis hearing the voice of god, in his head. My spouse whispered "The poor buggar was schizophrenic, hearing voices in his head. At least they told him to build a nice church." Most of the mystics in the bible can be explained by schizophrenia.

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It's the tiny worm god in her head.

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She's yet another paranoid schizophrenic, hearing voices in her head like the unabomber.

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It's so convenient, the

" god speaks to me " B.S.

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Heads are exploding everywhere as rethugican hypocrisy flips, turns, reverses, stretches and breaks the limits of human decency until the rest of us are left standing here thinking "what the actual fuck is happening?"

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON ARCFLDFF's HEAD?

The thing that really disturbs me are the weird ass pictures of cftffg as some muscle bound glittering freak doing... whatever. I seriously don't get that, at all. 🙄🤷‍♀️. Is that a guy thing...? Or a gay thing? Or a weird fetish thing?

Never mind, rhetorical questions.

Welcome to the next level of hell....

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It's all of the above.

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You're right. It's fucking creepy whatever it is.

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I don't like seeing it done with Biden (and I have a few times) - seems like lowering ourselves to their level of cultishness. Plenty one can do with "Dark Brandon" no need to go Rambo. IMO

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I haven't seen a Biden one, thankfully. I'm having trouble understanding the political appeal of some imaginary steroid fueled muscley glittery images of nearly naked men punching opponents. It all looks like the covers of bad romance novels, why not stick some half naked woman with heaving bosoms in to complete the fantasy?

YUCK.... 🙄

I mean, we all know what overuse of steroids does to a guy's dick... 🙄 smh

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Can confirm. I lived with a bodybuilder, when they cycle off them...

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Homo eroticism. It tends to be a humourless yet obsessive trope amongst men in denial of their feminine side in all walks of life and at all ages.

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True. There's no balance.

I find it disturbing and frankly, it's all just ugly to look at. Someone's idea of a sexy fantasy, I guess. Ewww.

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It's certainly homoerotic as hell!

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“Lard ass McGobbleburger” for the win! 🤣🤣🤣 ahhh… how do Julie and the rest of this crazy cult function in society? Hilarious way to start a Saturday Jeff! 😂😂✌️

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They don't. At least not in our reality.😂😂

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These people are really out there. It’s scary! 😳

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Chronic brain worms!!

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👍🏻😂

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They really are. I was raised in one of their pods.

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I spit my morning tea out reading "Lard-ass McGobbleburger" 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks Jeff!

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Wish the media was covering trump's bribe to libertarians to pardon ross ulbricht. It's a nice contrast with his pledge to execute drug dealers.

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MAGAs will scream that Trump was prosecuted because he was running for president. “Only trump would ever be prosecuted under these circumstances!"

No, He was prosecuted because he has committed so many felonies for so many decades, that anything he can be prosecuted about cries for prosecution. You could say he selected himself for prosecution. If Al Capone got out of jail and spat on the sidewalk, he should be prosecuted.

MAGA has been blackmailing us for years saying: “Don't get us really angry!"

Well, we can get angry, too. MLK came up against an angry white establishment and he managed to change the nation.

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If Julie’s head spun around 180 degrees it wouldn’t phase me. Psycho hose beast.

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