322 Comments
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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Karoline Leavitt definitely is not a Christian. I think that cross is just meant to keep Rudy Guliani away.

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Dina's avatar

Or possibly Stephen "Nosferatu Goebbels" Miller?

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Timothy Reid's avatar

Then a stake to the heart, which would actually kill anyone not just vampires, should be issued to Democrats of all shapes and sizes. Just thinking out loud here ...

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Instead of a stake to the heart, the RepubliKKKans are killing people in a thousand other ways. These sadists prefer to cause slow and painful deaths. I’m convinced that nothing brings them more joy.

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Charles Austin's avatar

A "Trump Stake"??!😂😂

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celeste k.'s avatar

Oh, man, don't give that fat ball of dung any ideas, or next thing you know, he'll be scamming with the newest product, "trump stakes", for use on the "others". Only a hundred bucks each and authorized with an auto-pen sharpie by the dung master himself.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

😂

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Appreciate it Timothy!!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

You have to take the head, or the stake can fall out and they regenerate over time.

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Dtss's avatar
1dEdited

Vampire Diaries, Anne Rice, Helsing? My all time favourite for vampy lore is any movie where Christopher Lee is Dracula, and Peter Cushing is Dr. Van Helsing. Yes. You must take the head. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I feel seen!

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Timothy Reid's avatar

Good point, like the one on the stake ... I have heard that a head can be kicked around when other sports gear are absent ... and fatheads are the best ... i think taking the head is a good option, Natalie ...

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James Starr's avatar

no, she would totally give it up for him

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Hollie Rood's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Linda Weide's avatar

Both!

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arne link's avatar

My thought exactly.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

This Dina!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂😂

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Rick Calegari's avatar

It might be working. That sleazy rodent has pulled a Houdini and disappeared. On the other hand, Rep. Derrick Van Orden has shown us more of the MAGA raw sewage is flooding the airwaves. This soulless asshole posted a tweet about the joys of taking away healthcare and school lunches from millions. Another former Navy Seal gone bad and spewing more evil bullshit about how cool it is to hurt people. And for what? Just to show loyalty to the most evil SOB to ever sit in the Oval Office?

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I have to believe that Karma will pay these evil sociopaths a visit. It’s the only way I can keep my sanity.

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Hollie Rood's avatar

I’m with you there Stephanie although, in a weak moment of despair, I wondered out loud the other day if cruel and evil people like tRUMP will get by unscathed. My cat gave me stink eye as if to say SNAP OUT OF IT😼 I’m a glass half full person and in my experience I’ve seen Karma pay evil psychopaths a visit; sometimes not in an obvious way but in unexpected,subtle, unpleasant meaningful ways they don’t see coming until it’s too late 💥

Stay sane❣️

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Cyndi Merrill's avatar

Donny made fun of his father's dementia. He also stole from him. Donny's boys are assuredly doing the same.

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Hollie Rood's avatar

I don’t doubt it. To them that’s “normal”

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Charles Austin's avatar

Family tradition.

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Teri Gelini's avatar

I saw it with my hosbands hateful ex wife and mother in law. The wife died of metastatic breast cancer a horrible way to go because she refused to go to the doctor even when she had healthcare. The mothering law died alone with metastauc lung caner before her ass she and the 2 dsons left her alone while they went to colorado on a ski trip and when she was informed of her death she had her put on ice till they finished their trip. Just amazing how cruel some people are but in the end they ha what I would describe a cruel death. It comes to all of them at some point. We rarely get to se it but I have a couple different times.

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Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Oh, SO this. Every word is me too. Thank you Hollie!

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

❤️

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Linda McCaughey's avatar

What say we give karma a hand?

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I don’t know what’s taking it so long!

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Hollie Rood's avatar

They say good things in life are worth waiting for 🤤

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Linda McCaughey's avatar

Done waitin'!

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

She's always late.

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Dtss's avatar
21hEdited

I think don the con’s orange cultists are not prepared for all the celebrating, Carnevale style, that will spontaneously erupt in the streets across America and the world, when that boil on the butt of humanity finally dies. It will be visible from the International Space Station! It will go on for days. This will also be the time couchfuck mcgee learns everyone hates him, too. magat included.

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Jacqueline Klein's avatar

Karma wil come when they have to look their children and grandchildren in the eye and explain to then why you bend over backwards to please the worst, most incompetent, evil, hateful turn that sat in the whitehouse when they were in congress. When they had a chance to help all Americans and not just the privileged few.

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Dan Beach's avatar

And perhaps we'll be able to wallow in a touch of schadenfreude, finally.

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Hollie Rood's avatar

🤞🙏

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Linda Weide's avatar

I am all for helping them. Jay Kuo in his Just for Xheets and Giggles today, had a piece on how a man told ICE who came to his farm looking for undocumented people, and he told them they could go anywhere but to one of the pastures. The guy waving the badge in his face said he could go anywhere in the country that he wanted to, so they went to that field and got chased by a mad bull. I think one could lay traps for ICE agents. I am thinking something like this.

You set up a place with something unpleasant to experience and then call in a raid on the place. Make sure it is a room with no people.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Punji sticks? Claymores?😈😈

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Linda Weide's avatar

Snakes?

My mom had a friend when I was growing up who had a pet boa. He basically fed it once a month and it slept most of the time. However, he would take the skins that his snake shed and hang them on the door with a sign that said "Beware of Snake." He is the only person in his building who was not burgled. A sign on the door of every restaurant kitchen in America with a snake skin and beware of snake could do wonders.

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Robin D's avatar

I love Jay. His Xheets and Giggles is so funny. Great story.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Me too. He and Jeff make my Saturdays.

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A.J. Madison's avatar

I don't believe in Karma, per se. I believe in something called balance. And the elected Repubs, all of them, are out of balance. You can only be so much of a cruel, racist, sexist, homophobe (some, I believe, of themselves) whose riches make them think they're entitled to, but are not. There will be a tipping point, where collectively, all of the hard working Americans, on both sides of the fence will be done with being de-facto slaves, making useless, clueless assholes richer & more powerful. How the restoration of balance will happen, not sure, but could resemble 1917 communist revolution. Oh dear, communism?! Well, capitalism has enriched the few, and only the few have privilege. But we'll not call it communism, but its time that socialism for the rich has to end.

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Marion Mlotok's avatar

Bastille Day is coming!

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Marla's avatar

Allons, enfants de la Patrie, le jour de gloire est arrivee!

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Teri Gelini's avatar

100 x's over if we are lucky!

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Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Same here

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Doreen Garza's avatar

I agree completely!

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Van Orden wrote to Governor Evers begging him to sign the state budget before the Big Bullshit Bill passed, to prevent the closure of rural hospitals that Van Orden voted for. The hypocrisy is beyond all belief.

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Tess's avatar

He is going to have a tough reelection campaign……He is from my district and people I know can’t stand him!

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Vote the bum out.

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AmericanHistoryGeek's avatar

Yep! Biggest hypocrite around. “I support Wisconsin’s Vets and Farmers”… then votes against them in DC every time! 👎🏼

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Linda Weide's avatar

In Jay Kuo's piece today he showed a tweet of someone telling us that

Curtis is a small town of 900 people in SW Nebraska. There 87% voted for Trump and 12% for Harris. The Curtis Medical Center just announced it is shutting down. That is their one hospital. I guess they VAFO. I suspect this is the beginning of the experience, not the end.

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Doreen Garza's avatar

GOOD!!! That’s what they deserve!! Except for the 12% of course.

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Linda Weide's avatar

Exactly. Those 12% hopefully have enough gumption to move. That is 58 people and their families of course, if they have them. That is unless their families are part of the 404 that voted for Trump. Let them reap what they sowed.

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Charles Austin's avatar

🙄🙄😡

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Chris Duncan's avatar

Except it’s what rescumlicans are made for.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

It has been a rude awakening for me to see people like him, that Greitens creep, Zinke, and other former military like fucking kook Flynn and Russia's girlfriend Gabbard behave in such cruel, dishonest, and unhinged ways.

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Ann Panda's avatar

DVO represents my district and he gets more horrible every day.

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Margaret's avatar

DVO is gonna get his ass handed to him in the midterms. We (Wisconsin's 3rd) will see to it.

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Linda McCaughey's avatar

Oh, yes, please!

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AmericanHistoryGeek's avatar

He is such a lying weasel. Wisconsin definitely deserves better!

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Teri Gelini's avatar

Sounds about right

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Robin D's avatar

Don't get excited. He's a creature of the night. I would be even more worried he hasn't been seen.Probably planning more sadistic, evil and cruel acts.

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Steve Kelly's avatar

Rudy Ghouliani…

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Dtss's avatar

What happened to old ghoulie? Don’t hear from him anymore.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

Wasn't Nosferatu, he of the Covid-Infected fecal aerosols, supposed to be in jail by now?

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arne link's avatar

Somehow, these assholes always skate. It's so unfair.

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Robin D's avatar

He made a deal with Ruby & Shay Moss, probably sure he got to keep the Fla. apt and the Mercedes. Life isn't fair, but at least the ladies got money from him.

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Linda McCaughey's avatar

According to Google:

"Being a Christian means following Jesus Christ. It involves believing in his life, death, and resurrection, and actively living according to his teachings. This includes striving to love God and others, demonstrating compassion, mercy, and forgiveness, and seeking to live a life that reflects Christ's example."

Nope. Not even close!

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J.R.'s avatar

😂

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Karlene Escriba's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Eva Porter's avatar

Thanks for the laughs today, Jeff, especially the alien one. I’ll choose from my alien favorite- “yeah, my space flight went bad, some aliens took me prisoner, then one human looking alien tried to choke me with her thighs! Send help! …er maybe not…”

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Teri Gelini's avatar

lol

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

This sounds about right. I we were playing Wheel of Fortune and the word was CU__T, I wouid’t know whether to pick an “L” or “T”.

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Dtss's avatar

N

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Cats 🐈🐈‍⬛'s avatar

I was thinking N, too! 😤😤😤😤 to that beatch.

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Linda Weide's avatar

😂

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Robin D's avatar

I think the huge cross is hysterical. Such hypocrites.

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Doreen Garza's avatar

😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

OMG! Could there be a bigger POS than Nancy Mace????

WAIT! It's Jake Tapper, isn't it?

Tim the Enchanter made me choke on my cereal. 😂😂😂

The rest of the world isnt wrong. That photo comparison is spot on.

What a great summary of stupid. I needed this.

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Get a ‘load’ of this… it has been pointed out that ‘Lord Dampnut’ is an anagram of Donald tRump.

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Deborah Hunter's avatar

Mace is pretty bad. What an attention whore. I think she's seriously kind of nuts, like MTG. Steven Horsford from Vegas is my Congressman. I can just imagine what would be said if he was walking around in his pajamas and a film crew. There has never been a bigger double standard than MAGA behavior versus the Dems.

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

Either way, I'll bet he doesn't wear a bra under his pajamas. Or sh*t... maybe he actually does!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

That’s for sure. It’s disgusting!

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Charles Austin's avatar

She's in her lot lizard uniform. (Nancy the Skank.)😂😂

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arne link's avatar

Good one. I never made the connection until now. Thank you.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂

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Masha's avatar

Mace wants attention so bad. Can’t wait for her next move.

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Dave Drell's avatar

I’m with “Blow Me Nomi” as a bigger POS

than Mace, Susan. Of course, being 2nd or third (MTG) is no consolation prize either!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL true!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

She had a busy day, what with her performative bullshit and ruining peoples' lives. Gee, SC, is this what you want in a Congressional Representative?

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Charles Austin's avatar

I'd like to rent Tim out for a couple of days. So many assholes to blow up, too little time.😈😈😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Same! 😂😂

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Karla's avatar

I see us like the rest of the world sees us.

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Louise Pattison's avatar

Tapper using a surfer meme to celebrate on the same day 25 people die and 20+ kids are still missing in a flash flood. Classy.

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Cathy Wray's avatar

Louise, I never watch CNN anymore. It used to be my go-to.

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Kay-El's avatar

1. Mad props for all those ICE calls. People should use these as scripts for calling in.

2. Everyone should send Leavitt silver crosses. Maybe she’ll burst into flames and be sent back to hell.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I approve of your message, Kay. 😂😂😂😂

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Charles Austin's avatar

Strongly!!😂😂

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Mebbe she's trying to atone for having an out of wedlock baby so she's raining her judgmental bullshit on everyone else

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Abigail Norling's avatar

I submit we send her the ones from China made of lead. Just a thought.

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Robin D's avatar

Are silver crosses better than gold? Does it attract lightening bolts and cause one to self-combust more quickly? Just want to know which one is more likely to do the trick quickly!

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Kay-El's avatar

Silver is what’s used against vampires and werewolves so I’m guessing it’ll work on her

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Robin D's avatar

Whatever it takes lol..

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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P123Sunny's avatar

Inspiration:

“People living under fascism didn’t survive by giving up joy—they protected it.

They held onto the things fascism tried to erase: art, friendship, jokes, rituals, language, memory.

Not as escapism but as resistance. As proof they were still human.

Joy isn’t frivolous under fascism. It’s strategic.”

- @candaceavalos.bsky.social

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Lisa's avatar

I love this. Thank you for sharing.

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Karlene Escriba's avatar

Thanks, I needed that!🥰

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Look at the ripped Statue of Liberty. That woman is on steroids and testosterone. Doesn't that make her trans?

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Cathy Wray's avatar

Republicans worry too much about what is in other people's pants.

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arne link's avatar

That was my first thought, a fearsome trans female.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Mine too!

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Alison Parker's avatar

The fact that the ICE image just says "linked to immigration" -- not "illegal immigration" -- is very telling.

But of course, if that crime was linked to a white guy with a Russian accent, I have a feeling ICE wouldn't give a shit.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

ICE is prolly being directed, through Stephen "Pee Wee German" Miller, by a white guy with a Russian accent

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Tim Phipps's avatar

Have you been harmed by an Alien? If so, you may be eligible for compensation. Call our law form and we will get money for you! Alina Habba and associates. We specialize in parking lot accidents and alien damage.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

"Hurry before I lose my law license!"

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

She has been quietly investigated by the State of New Jersey for the last year and may possibly lose her license to practice.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Couldn’t happen to a worse person

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Linda Fulcher's avatar

Amen.

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Neal Stiffelman's avatar

I’d headed into Friday thinking that either Mace or Leavitt was sure to win the week… but then outta nowhere comes Tapper, and, by gum, I do believe he earned it. Cinderella story. The bookies are gonna be dancing the Charleston all weekend.

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Aleksander Constantinoropolous's avatar

ICE: “If you were harmed by an alien…”

Me: “Yes, he burst out of my chest mid-dinner.”

Trump can’t run a conference call, but he’s summoning angels to fight AT&T’s demonic router. Meanwhile, Karoline Leavitt clutches a crucifix like it’s a walkie-talkie to Jesus.

Nancy Mace misses her flight and road-trips in pajamas to vote for a bill nobody asked for.

Trump brags about a 218–2 vote, forgetting Biden pulled 220–0 three times. Math is hard.

Jake Tapper celebrates the Fourth with clip-art fascism, and gets ratioed into orbit.

America, your algorithm needs an exorcism.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Math is hard, MAGA is stupid

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Tess's avatar

Needed the laughs Jeff! Thanks!

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Steve Kelly's avatar

This is one Vietnam Veteran American who did not celebrate at all on the Fourth of July. America is dead to me. It died a tragic death last November. And the whole new SleeperCell, i.e. Nancy, can just go Mace herself. I am really pissed at this country right now.

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Jeff, the Alien Gif rocked. Although I heard Spaceballs in my head "Hello My Baby, Hello My Darlin, Hello my Ragtime Gal...."

So here, I cracked open my DSM-V last night to follow up the Idiot Iowa Speech.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/donald-trump-double-hand-bukkake

As always Jeff, Liked, Restacked, Quoted, and Cross posted to https://thistleandmoss.com, We support your work.

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

fun fact: if you do a google image search for 'alien chestburst gif,' half the results are from Spaceballs

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Because Jeff, Brooks was a genius. Thank you for the laugh btw.

You a brooks fan Jeff?

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Mary Hall's avatar

May the Schwartz be with you.

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

You have the ring....And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Wendy, you must be kidding! Two Jewish comedians went into a bar...

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Kathleen, I am an ARDENT fan of Brooks and his work. I was a good mom, I made my kids at 12 years old sit down and Watch Spaceballs, History of the World Part 1, and Young Frankenstein.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I know you are. I just think that if Jeff didn't love Mel Brooks, then I just saw a pig fly past my window, and he crapped on it. One of the magic moments of my life was when I saw Blazing Saddles in Greenwich Village. The audience was laughing so hard that we only heard about half the dialog.

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

well, with blazing saddles, I waited until all the kids were over 16 for that. And after the like , 15th time the N-word got dropped, Gizmo looked at me, in her 18 year old goodness and said "Mom, cant they just bleep that out....its a little much...."

I raised my kids good.

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Barbara Rengstorff's avatar

One of my best memories of Blazing Saddles is my husband’s teenage son literally rolling on the floor in laughter during the campfire scene. Love that movie! 😁🤪😁

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Marla's avatar

My parents lived in a small town in W. Pa. They went to see Blazing Saddles and when the line about 'schvartzes, they're darker than me' came up in Yiddish, they nearly fell on the floor, they were laughing so hard. That and 'luzim gay'. Unfortunately, they were the only ones. Not a lot of Yiddish spoken where they were.

PS. I really hate that word, BTW.

IMO, the original The Producers (1968) is the best thing Mel Brooks ever did.

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Lamorindalinda's avatar

Wendy - I just read your piece. It is brilliant. I subscribed!

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Every day, Lamo. We try our best, and we do the hard work. Thank you for supporting us.

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Charles Austin's avatar

I love that scene in "Spaceballs".😂😂😂😂

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

My favorite is the “ what the hell am I looking at , when does this happen in uber movie “ scene

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Cindy Watter's avatar

Dang, I thought I was losing my mind, but Jake T has me beat.

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george  campbell's avatar

Alien is at my door : he is a one eyed , one horned , flying purple people eater .

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Abbi's avatar

Then by all means invite them in. I see a dance party in your future.

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Susan Kemp's avatar

“Who wears short shorts”

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Irascible Ink's avatar

😂😂😂

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george  campbell's avatar

“there is spiritual warfare as we all know."

This is true . Do I cave and vote to screw the most vulnerable folks on earth , or do I vote be thankful we have more than enough resources in the USA to live well and reach out to those who struggle .

Daily wisdom from blondie KL , the designated survivor from Children of the Corn .

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rlritt's avatar

The thing is they don't even care about Medicaid one way or the other. They just want be seen by MAGA as doing what Trump wants. And he wants this. He probably doesn't even know what's in it except for the big tax cuts for his oligarchs.

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