this week in stupid: July 1 edition
Bongino gets bounced, justice gets trounced, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: Bongo Danny gets bounced
hey, aren’t you noted conservative douchebag Dan Bongino?
shut the fuck up
what’s happening here, Dan?
shut the fuck up
isn’t this the Cucina restaurant in Palm Beach?
shut the fuck up
pretty fancy restaurant, isn’t it, Dan?
shut the fuck up
it looks like they’re throwing your ass the fuck out onto the sidewalk
shut the fuck up
what’cha do to get tossed, Dan?
shut the fuck up
have a great day, Dan.
shut the fuck up
monday: when assholes collide
the Proud Boys and the Patriot Front got into a bit of a dust-up recently.
they were punching the fuck out of each other over which group is the biggest fucking embarrassment ever.
not really, but they might have been. actually the Proud Boys are accusing the Patriot Front of being government informants. no, wait. maybe it was the Patriot Front accusing the Proud Boys.
does it really matter? when these hotpockets fight each other, the only winner is America.
tuesday: the mystery of where commies come from, solved
look at these four patriots, carved into solid American granite. pretty inspiring, isn’t it?
well, not if you’re South Dakota House Representative Joe Donnell. because Joe has a super-big brain and Joe has it all figured out.
Mount Rushmore, according to Donnell, is a portal for demonic entities to enter and spread communism throughout the country.
quite frankly, it all makes perfect sense to me. look at that fucker Teddy Roosevelt. you just know that commie demons are dripping out of his nose, when no one is looking. fuck you, Teddy Roosevelt, you fucking fuck.
wednesday: the mystery of where gays come from, solved
have you ever wondered: where the fuck are all these gay and trans people coming from? is there a secret assembly line somewhere?
Anna Perez, wingnut weirdo with a podcast, has spent a lot of time thinking about this, and folks, she’s worked it out on her own:
the government is manufacturing gay and trans people.
I mean, obviously. I’m shocked it took her this long to figure it out.
honestly, I think there’s a secret assembly line somewhere where conservatives are manufacturing stupid fucking morons.
thursday: sporkcasting at its finest
they say a picture is worth a thousand words, and it’s true — especially when four of those words are what in actual fuck.
‘this week in stupid’ hall of famer Marjorie Three Brain Cells Greene has a podcast now, because of course she does.
and this is the image she uses to promote it, because of course it is.
full disclosure: I tried to watch the most recent episode, but immediately closed the tab when the video began with a MyPillow ad. because of course it did.
friday: these fucking shitheads
so fucking stupid. and so fucking evil.
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
Now that Clarence "I got mine, now fuck off" Thomas, Amy "every sperm is sacred" Barrett and the rest of those creeps have seen their life-long dreams fulfilled, it would be great if they would just resign now and enjoy a well-earned rest in the arms of their billionaire buddies. Because it's not going to get much better for them. Unless, of course, they legalize slavery, take away women's right to vote, and ban every book with the words "and" and "the" in them.
You keep a lot of people going in these times, thank you.