this week in stupid: January 27 edition

Fox Business has a sad, Little Donny loses bad, and so much more ...

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.

---

sunday: turnstiles 1, Nazis 0

hey, look — it’s the Patriot Front!
shut the fuck up.
you dudes are white supremacists, right?
shut the fuck up.
what are you guys doing in New York?
shut the fuck up.
you seem to be having some trouble with these subway turnstiles.
shut the fuck up.
you know, millions of people use these turnstiles every day. none of them have the problem you’re having.
shut the fuck up.
many of them are blacks and Jews.
shut the fuck up.
look, you put your fare card there, slide it, and go. why is that so hard for you?
shut the fuck up.
by the way, what’s with the masks?
shut the fuck up.
is it because you don’t want anyone to know how stupid you are?
shut the fuck up.
because nothing says “master race” more than “outwitted by a turnstile.”
shut the fuck up.
more like disaster race, am I right?
shut the fuck up.

---

monday: make campaigning stupid again

holy shit, you have to see this to believe it.

I swear to you that this is not a parody — area rapist Donald John Fuckface actually posted this to his crappy failing app.

what this is meant to be is a campaign ad. what it is, is a stupidest hits video.

snuggling up to despots, lobbing paper towels, pushing world leaders out of the way, feeding burgers to athletes, doing his ‘jerking off two invisible dicks’ dance, dry-humping the flag — it’s the dipshittiest moments of the Trump presidency, all there in 41 jaw-dropping seconds.

really, all it’s missing is covid victims buried in unmarked mass graves.

---

tuesday: MAGA twerp never thought the leopards would eat his face

here’s a double fuckload of stupid from Donny’s New Hampshire shitty victory party.

stupid number one was the parking garage lawyer telling Judge Kaplan she couldn’t be at the Yeah You Definitely Fucking Raped Her trial in New York because she was too sick to appear in court, and then partying the night away in New Hampshire.

stupid number two was the little MAGA twerp in this video inadvertently blowing the whistle on Alina by tweeting this selfie — an act that got him tossed out of the party.

now, while it does seem like this twerp is a vicious little shit who deserves nothing good in life …

A hardcore supporter and ex-Trump campaign official who was also seen telling cops to kill themselves during the Jan. 6 riot was thrown out of the former president’s victory party Tuesday night after posting a photo alongside Trump lawyer Alina Habba.

… eighty-sixing him from the party for a little hero worship is a spiteful and petty act — but then spite and pettiness is pretty much the Trump brand.

---

wednesday: parody twitterer meets joke governor

Texas Übergruppenführer Greg Abbott isn’t just a heartless psychopath who gets off on inflicting misery and death on the defenseless. in his spare time, he also moonlights as an idiot.

excellent twitterer Liam Nissan™ — who we stress is in no way the real actor Liam Neeson — twittered the following:

“If you think a border wall (the exact border wall proposed by the Republicans) would help the situation at the border then you don’t understand the problem and need to delete your Twitter account immediately.”

unfortunuately for dopey Greg Abbott, rational thought got caught up in the razor wire booby traps in his head, because he responded — in a now-deleted tweet:

“Another Hollywood Actor thinking they know what’s best for Texas. Listen here, Liam, make like an actor, and learn your role, and leave dealing with the border to me.”

how about you stay the fuck in your lane, Governor — keep drowning those migrants, it’s what you do best.

---

thursday: here’s why a roaring economy is bad news for Joe Biden

pour one out for the sad bobbleheads at the Fox Business channel, because they have one job: to talk about how terrible the Biden economy is — and it’s pretty fucking hard to do that one job when the Biden economy is roaring.

on Thursday we learned that the 4th quarter GDP grew by 3.3%. (fun fact: GDP growth never even reached 3% at any point during the Trump years.)

look at these Fox simps, glumly poring over the good news, trying desperately to find something bad to crow about.

“we’ll look through this report to see if there are signs, that maybe the economy doesn't feel as, or isn’t as resilient as it might seem.”

yeah, you do that. you keep looking for something to feel bad about.

know what? never mind. fuck your feelings.

---

friday: this fucking guy

some dipshit who bragged about being able to grab women by the pussy just got hit with 83.3 million reasons why no, he can’t.

fuck him.

---

saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.